NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Tehdagah]

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-05-03-fire-emblem-dlc-censored-in-the-west

Another reason not to buy a 3DS before a hack.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Something nice, for a change.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-05-02-the-quest-for-shadow-of-the-colossuss-last-big-secret

[...]
Still, the secret-seekers did make some discoveries. Not the Last Big Secret, perhaps, but these quirky hidden features of the game are a reflection of their dedication. Someone found a beach eerily reminiscent of a similar piece of shoreline seen in Ico's closing scenes. Another player found two ponds with actual, animated fish hidden in the world. But my favourite find is the Lokis. There are birds flying all over the Forbidden Lands, and it didn't take long for players to realise that Wander could leap and grab them. But the secret-seekers found three special birds, unlike any others in the game. These giant hawks weren't tugged down by Wander's weight when players grabbed them - meaning they'd take players off on a flying, sightseeing tour of the surrounding landscape. But not, sadly, into a hidden colossus' lair.

"They were probably four or five times the size of other birds in the game," Ozzy recalls. "Their flightpath never changed, but it was exciting, and there was no doubt it was intentional. They must have been meant to be there."



It was a different set of birds that brought Ozzymandias to his clifftop, however. While other players were Agro-jumping into unintended corners of the map, many with half-finished textures and unreliable collision planes, Ozzy was convinced that, if there was a Last Big Secret to be found, then it would be uncovered by more legitimate means. What's more, he'd found a promising lead. Down at the southernmost part of the Forbidden Lands were a flock of seagulls whose flightpath, just like that of the Lokis, brought them for a tantalising moment within range of Wander's grasp. There just one problem: the player had to jump off the cliff first.

"I remember seeing them and watching them for like five minutes," Ozzy recalls, "before they'd make that split-second pass. I was watching them for an excruciatingly long time. But I knew the jump was possible. I don't know how many times I died trying to do it."

And then it happened: Ozzymanias jumped from the clifftop and grabbed a fistful of seagull on his way down. "I thought for sure it was going to take me to secret cave within which I'd find a 17th colossus that nobody had seen before," Ozzy recalls, laughing.

The bird carried Ozzy around for a short while, before his weight dragged them both to the ocean where they drowned.
[...]

In an alternate universe more awesome than ours, Kotaku is filled with this sort of article instead of rants on sexism.

 

[markec]

http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/35217/?

 

[Whisky]

Well, I guess we were wrong. Bethesda fans will not jack off to anything with two legs or four legs. They will jack off to anything.

 

[Tommy Wiseau]

That's just vile.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Probably will be nuked like a certain other classic mod.

Spoiler

http://skyrimdownloads.producertoolz.com/2013/03/21/cabbage-in-a-pot-skyrim-mod/

—————
FEATURES
—————
- Adds a cabbage in a pot to Riverwood
- Both cabbage and pot are fully interactive
- Can be picked up and placed somewhere else
- Full 3D models for the inventory system and the world view
- Increases realism and immersion, as well as the overall experience

much butthurt was generated

http://forums.nexusmods.com/index.p...titute-the-mod-cabbage-in-a-pot-on-the-nexus/

 

[thesoup]

What the fuck?

 

[Kitako]

I'd like to know what makes a cabbage in a pot a innopriate mod, on a site hosting troll dongs and horse vagoos

 

[Volrath]

You can't larp fucking a cabbage. Well you can, but that's just wrong, even for Bethesda modders.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

http://www.larian.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=462181&page=1

Hi, I just saw your game on kickstarter and I am worried about something, primarily because of your promotional art.

I really hate females in any game because it totally breaks the immersion, it's like being forced in real life to cross-dress. I never even considered buying Tomb Raider because of that.

So, will any class, ability, quest or anything at all be gender locked?
I don't even want to be forced to have a female companion.

Whole story concept is about a male and female apprentices, so it is an essential part of a story. You will have one male and one female charachter to role-play simultaneously.

Also, i don't really quite understand you attitude toward a female charachters, why you hate them

Oh crap, that's really bad news, pretty much ruined it for me.

I really wish developers would stop pandering to vulgar sexuality and heteronormativity already.
Overwhelming majority of gamers are male and only 18% played as female Shepard in Mass Effect 3, which was the most mainstream marketed game ever. Can't they take a hint from raw data already?

P.S.
I quite clearly explained why I hate them in the opening post, can't you read?

 

[evdk]

http://www.larian.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=462181&page=1

I have expected a different question from a thread named "Forced females?" - something more Blackhartian, so to speak.

 

[Freelance Henchman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=jP_KE2kb8hU#t=2240s

 

[Surf Solar]

I really hate females in any game because it totally breaks the immersion

wat?

 

[FeelTheRads]

I really hate females in any game because it totally breaks the immersion

wat?

Read as: I can't identify with the character who is otherwise strangling dragons with his left hand while drinking the blood of virgins with the right, if I can't make him look exactly like me.

Or read as: I'm a retarded newfag larper.

 

[Kirtai]

I really hate females in any game because it totally breaks the immersion

wat?

Read as: I can't identify with the character who is otherwise strangling dragons with his left hand while drinking the blood of virgins with the right, if I can't make him look exactly like me.

Or read as: I'm a retarded newfag larper.

Sounds more like he's really insecure in his masculinity.

Or maybe he's just afraid he'll get cooties from playing a gurl.

 

[Regdar]

Some people use female characters exclusively because they like their dick to be rock hard while gaming. Some people find the idea of women in full plate immersion-breaking. I don't see what's wrong with the latter.

 

[FeelTheRads]

Former: You're a man.
Latter: You're a fag.

 

[Horus]

Some people use female characters exclusively because they like their dick to be rock hard while gaming. Some people find the idea of women in full plate immersion-breaking. I don't see what's wrong with the latter.

If we were playing in realistic medieval times game(only one i could remember is mount and blade) i could see how it could be important for immersion but it's not that immersion breaking in a universes full of magic powers and monsters.

 

[LundB]

Some people use female characters exclusively because they like their dick to be rock hard while gaming. Some people find the idea of women in full plate immersion-breaking. I don't see what's wrong with the latter.

Losers attracted to mediocre 3d models vs. Autists who shit themselves over things being 'unrealistic' even in absurd fantasy settings. Which is better and why?

Personally I have more sympathy for the autists' argument.

 

[Tommy Wiseau]

Fantastical elements don't need to invalidate mundane real-world physics. A setting's mundane elements are expected to function as they do in real life unless noted otherwise.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

The "noted otherwise" is the very fact that there are women in full plate in gameworld X. Its rules and conventions allow it.

 

[Regdar]

I think Witcher had the right idea by having women conform to gender roles - prostitutes and mages.

Even better than that, I'm pretty sure Gothic 3 didn't have any women at all.

 

[catfood]

I think Witcher had the right idea by having women conform to gender roles - prostitutes and mages.

Even better than that, I'm pretty sure Gothic 3 didn't have any women at all.

There were a few female soldiers here and there but they didn't have anything interesting to say.

 

[Zewp]

Gothic 2 had prostitutes.

 

[markec]

I think Witcher had the right idea by having women conform to gender roles - prostitutes and mages.

Even better than that, I'm pretty sure Gothic 3 didn't have any women at all.

There were a few female soldiers here and there but they didn't have anything interesting to say.

Thats what I call realistic portray of women in games.