CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
ITZ isn't fucking around.
-
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In Progress Call of Warhammer: horrible raep edition
- Thread starter Corporate_Jew_Master
- Start date
ITZ isn't fucking around.
eklektyk
Erudite
Rape Train Incoming ...
InShort: RTI
InShort: RTI
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
They bypassed me completely and started raping the empire.I gathered my army and went after them. Gonna be lots of battles in the Empire and lots of cities seized at odd locations.
But I think this is the initial stack, the one of Vardek Crom.
Archaon comes later.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Anyway, here's the update.
REMOVE ITZ FROM KRAUTLAND
Emprah thinks he can tackle ITZ on his own. The manboon is not a learning animal.
Having tasted enough death and defeat at the hands of the Hussars, the rape gangs decide to bypass Potato and ply their trade southwards, in the provinces of Ostland and Nordland.
The army is recalled from the short-lived northern expedition to counter the threat. Having Chaos as our neighbor on two sides will prove to be bad to our health.
The machete gangs advance from all sides, intent on raping, pillaging and sucking babymeat from the bone.
Ostland is fucked and will probably not hold out until help from the lands of Potato arrives. We march on the double, even if that means detaching our vanguard from the main force.
The gangs are hitting the outskirts of Wandergart in full force, their multi headed dicks trapping poor Kraut women and hitting their legs, ass and, indeed, everything else. Babies are torn from their mothers and have the flesh sucked from the bones. Babymeat is soft, tender and succulent, lending these Chaos-powered savages even greater stamina and the will to keep going deeper into the Cabbagelands.
The siege of Wandergart had begun.
And the one in Wolfenburg had just ended, apprently. The imperial armies are unable to stop ITZ and now realise they should've been digging vaults all along.
As our army keeps marching south to put and end to the atrocities, a large warband of orcs is sighted near the walls of Chernigov, whose garrison is under-strength. A siege will not do against the ferocity of the orcs.
Michael of Praag and his army are ordered away from the main force and into battle against the orkz.
Yeah, this is gonna go well.
BATTLE OF CHERNIGOV
The horde spends no time sitting and starts slugging it's way towards our lines.
The Ukranians open fire.
and the unarmored orc archers take the bad end of the deal. More than 30 from each regiment are felled in the first volley alone.
Due to Medieval 2 being a piece of shit, you need to click several times for the ranged units to fall back. Half of the Ukranians decided they wanted to take an axe to the face and thus delayed their withdrawal.
As the orcs try to envelop our flanks, the Hussars who were until now in hiding, outflank them in turn in a ferocious charge.
Moles being popped.
The charge is so well executed that nearly 150 of them die in it and the survivors are thrown into a panic-stricken rout.
The trolls are a different story through.
On the other flank, the rest of the hussars emerge charging out of the woods.
And take the orc cavalry in the rear, slaughtering a great number of them.
Meanwhile the front is stable, if it can be called such. The pikemen do not give way and stand their ground, keeping the orcs at bay with the nature of their weapons.
And the most Potato of the bodyguards passes through the pike line to engage the Black Orks on his own, even scoring a kill.
All along the main battle line the orcs are getting hammered real bad.
But on the flanks a force of orc cavalry and the trolls have trapped our hussars, who refuse to disengage.
And soon the first enemy units begin to break. Incidentally, it is the unit that the lone bodyguard was fighting.
Another hussar charge takes the trolls in the rear, but fails to kill any.
The pikemen arrive to grind the beasts down.
And to the north of the field, the panicked survivors are run down by the Hussars. Suffer not the xeno to live.
And the grind is on.
Soon, it ends. High losses, but against the orcs nothing less could be expected. The force is in need of retraining and will rejoin the campaign after that.
More battles coming up in the next post, be back in a few.
REMOVE ITZ FROM KRAUTLAND
Emprah thinks he can tackle ITZ on his own. The manboon is not a learning animal.
Having tasted enough death and defeat at the hands of the Hussars, the rape gangs decide to bypass Potato and ply their trade southwards, in the provinces of Ostland and Nordland.
The army is recalled from the short-lived northern expedition to counter the threat. Having Chaos as our neighbor on two sides will prove to be bad to our health.
The machete gangs advance from all sides, intent on raping, pillaging and sucking babymeat from the bone.
Ostland is fucked and will probably not hold out until help from the lands of Potato arrives. We march on the double, even if that means detaching our vanguard from the main force.
The gangs are hitting the outskirts of Wandergart in full force, their multi headed dicks trapping poor Kraut women and hitting their legs, ass and, indeed, everything else. Babies are torn from their mothers and have the flesh sucked from the bones. Babymeat is soft, tender and succulent, lending these Chaos-powered savages even greater stamina and the will to keep going deeper into the Cabbagelands.
The siege of Wandergart had begun.
And the one in Wolfenburg had just ended, apprently. The imperial armies are unable to stop ITZ and now realise they should've been digging vaults all along.
As our army keeps marching south to put and end to the atrocities, a large warband of orcs is sighted near the walls of Chernigov, whose garrison is under-strength. A siege will not do against the ferocity of the orcs.
Michael of Praag and his army are ordered away from the main force and into battle against the orkz.
Yeah, this is gonna go well.
BATTLE OF CHERNIGOV
The horde spends no time sitting and starts slugging it's way towards our lines.
The Ukranians open fire.
and the unarmored orc archers take the bad end of the deal. More than 30 from each regiment are felled in the first volley alone.
Due to Medieval 2 being a piece of shit, you need to click several times for the ranged units to fall back. Half of the Ukranians decided they wanted to take an axe to the face and thus delayed their withdrawal.
As the orcs try to envelop our flanks, the Hussars who were until now in hiding, outflank them in turn in a ferocious charge.
Moles being popped.
The charge is so well executed that nearly 150 of them die in it and the survivors are thrown into a panic-stricken rout.
The trolls are a different story through.
On the other flank, the rest of the hussars emerge charging out of the woods.
And take the orc cavalry in the rear, slaughtering a great number of them.
Meanwhile the front is stable, if it can be called such. The pikemen do not give way and stand their ground, keeping the orcs at bay with the nature of their weapons.
And the most Potato of the bodyguards passes through the pike line to engage the Black Orks on his own, even scoring a kill.
All along the main battle line the orcs are getting hammered real bad.
But on the flanks a force of orc cavalry and the trolls have trapped our hussars, who refuse to disengage.
And soon the first enemy units begin to break. Incidentally, it is the unit that the lone bodyguard was fighting.
Another hussar charge takes the trolls in the rear, but fails to kill any.
The pikemen arrive to grind the beasts down.
And to the north of the field, the panicked survivors are run down by the Hussars. Suffer not the xeno to live.
And the grind is on.
Soon, it ends. High losses, but against the orcs nothing less could be expected. The force is in need of retraining and will rejoin the campaign after that.
More battles coming up in the next post, be back in a few.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
GETTING TO KNOW ITZ PROPELLERS
Near the forests of Bechafen, our vanguard meets the first chaos force, one that belongs to Nurgle.
These guys can make it seem that your army never had any morale to begin with. Don't get me started on them.
Typical rapists.
And the mighty ITZ-propellers. No comments, pictures will suffice.
The hussars are all deployed on one flank to overpower the forces arrayed against them and swing around to hit the cannons.
The army begins to march forward, as to give the enemy artillery no easy targets.
The very substance of ITZ is launched from these monster guns, that gives the stricken the feeling of being penetrated by multiple congoids at the same time. The ones who survive are broken forever by the experience.
Ominous.
And the hussars find the knights of nurgle blocking their path.
Half of them tie them down while the rest circle around and attack the gun crews. Notice how one unit of Ukranians was routed immidiately upon coming into contact with ITZ. (the guns automatically make any but the most elite units break if they score a direct hit against them)
Oh shit.
Fuck.
The Knights are surrounded and the hussars in the north are ordered to retreat and reform for another crack at the artillery.
The flank is in grave danger as they are getting mauled by the trolls badly and chaos knights are circling around them, poised to strike.
The cavalry charges them.
And then
Our brave general is struck down.
Victory is highly uncertain now, with the guns still intact and the Kreml Guard devastated by artillery fire and the trolls.
And then it starts. An artillery shot hits the pikemen and routs them.
More and more shots find their targets, with devastating effects. Many sons of Potato felt congoid rape in their souls that day.
Soon the entire front begins to rout.
Only at the center do some regiments refuse to fall back, even in the face of impossible odds.
They keep fighting to the last, eager to avenge the deaths of their comrades or die in the attempt.
Whatever little cavalry remains struggles to support them.
Even surrounded by demons and rape gang members they refuse to surrender and keep fighting to the last man.
A terrible defeat is suffered that day.
So few have managed to escape the slaughter. Greater care must be taken whenever ITZ-Propellers are encountered on the field.
VENGEANCE
The Tzarevitch himself shall avenge the death of those brave potatoes.
His gunners open fire the moment the horde appears.
And dozens of armored rapists are brought down.
ITZ is launched, put it misses by a long shot. The men in the back can feel the aftershock, as if something hard and fleshy was caressing their buttocks.
Due to medieval 2 being retarded, not all of the gunners withdraw when the order is given.
The lines soon meet and the battle is on.
The hussars, positioned on both sides, use this chance to engage the artillery.
Before the guns were silenced, they managed to score a direct hit against the halbediers, sending them fleeing.
But their luck would not last.
The faggot dwarves were decapitated in memory of the brave potatoes they raped to death.
The battle the turns into a one-sided slaughter, but not before many men are lost to the artillery and the charge of the chaos knights. Even outnumbered they are a dangerous foe.
We resume our march towards Bechafen, where we will resupply our units and attempt to lift the siege of Wandergart.
Meanwhile, the rape gangs have penetrated far into the Empire, putting many important cities to siege and taking Middenheim, second most important city in Krautland. The inhabitants all suffered the ministrations of the machete.
The eastern half of the Empire is hit the hardest, with a large concentration of Chaos forces focusing on Ostland and even ranging as far as Breder. They might manage to cut the Empire in two that way.
Even the south is not safe from ITZ. Nachtdorf has been machete raped already and Waldenhof will soon suffer the same fate.
Our force is ready to attack the enemy rear in southern Ostland and perhaps turn the front in humanity's favor.
Two ITZ-Propellers accompany this rape gang. Ominous.
SAVING WANDERGART FROM THE RAPE GANGS
We deploy our Ukranians further back, to minimize whatever damage the artillery dishes out.
And the infantry line is ordered forward.
Machete riders begin harassing them, but the hussars arrive to the rescue.
Almost all of them die in the initial charge.
The infantry has almost finished it's redeployment.
And withstands the machete rider charge, putting an end to their decline.
The horde then clashes upon the steel wall.
Desolators advancing towards the hussars.
Not a very smart move on the niggers' part.
It is then the turn of the gun crews to receive tasteful rape.
The Krauts sally out of their city to assist us, but the battle has already been decided.
The desolators are decimated by the hussars and soon break.
This battle is already over. They just don't know it yet.
The Knights of Diversity also enter the field in search of rape gangs to kill.
The Imperials engage a single unit of Chaos Warriors with their entire force.
And the last coherent (if such a word can be used for the machete gangs) enemy force is eradicated.
A nice little victory. Wandergart will not be machete raped on our watch.
Another small battle occurs with the other Chaos force that was pretty banal, so it won't be recorded. Popping a bunch of marauder infantry is no challenge.
We then advance west, to lessen the pressure on Smallhof and drive the Chaos Hordes off Ostland completely.
Wolfenburg will be a tough nut to crack however.
The southern front is completely overrun with the fall of Waldenhof and with the orcs sieging the last imperial stronghold further south. Where the rape gangs will strike next only time will tell.
Soon a great battle will commence against two opposing armies, the largest one we have fought yet.
With a total of 4 ITZ-Propellers deployed. This will be bloody.
Near the forests of Bechafen, our vanguard meets the first chaos force, one that belongs to Nurgle.
These guys can make it seem that your army never had any morale to begin with. Don't get me started on them.
Typical rapists.
And the mighty ITZ-propellers. No comments, pictures will suffice.
The hussars are all deployed on one flank to overpower the forces arrayed against them and swing around to hit the cannons.
The army begins to march forward, as to give the enemy artillery no easy targets.
The very substance of ITZ is launched from these monster guns, that gives the stricken the feeling of being penetrated by multiple congoids at the same time. The ones who survive are broken forever by the experience.
Ominous.
And the hussars find the knights of nurgle blocking their path.
Half of them tie them down while the rest circle around and attack the gun crews. Notice how one unit of Ukranians was routed immidiately upon coming into contact with ITZ. (the guns automatically make any but the most elite units break if they score a direct hit against them)
Oh shit.
Fuck.
The Knights are surrounded and the hussars in the north are ordered to retreat and reform for another crack at the artillery.
The flank is in grave danger as they are getting mauled by the trolls badly and chaos knights are circling around them, poised to strike.
The cavalry charges them.
And then
Our brave general is struck down.
Victory is highly uncertain now, with the guns still intact and the Kreml Guard devastated by artillery fire and the trolls.
And then it starts. An artillery shot hits the pikemen and routs them.
More and more shots find their targets, with devastating effects. Many sons of Potato felt congoid rape in their souls that day.
Soon the entire front begins to rout.
Only at the center do some regiments refuse to fall back, even in the face of impossible odds.
They keep fighting to the last, eager to avenge the deaths of their comrades or die in the attempt.
Whatever little cavalry remains struggles to support them.
Even surrounded by demons and rape gang members they refuse to surrender and keep fighting to the last man.
A terrible defeat is suffered that day.
So few have managed to escape the slaughter. Greater care must be taken whenever ITZ-Propellers are encountered on the field.
VENGEANCE
The Tzarevitch himself shall avenge the death of those brave potatoes.
His gunners open fire the moment the horde appears.
And dozens of armored rapists are brought down.
ITZ is launched, put it misses by a long shot. The men in the back can feel the aftershock, as if something hard and fleshy was caressing their buttocks.
Due to medieval 2 being retarded, not all of the gunners withdraw when the order is given.
The lines soon meet and the battle is on.
The hussars, positioned on both sides, use this chance to engage the artillery.
Before the guns were silenced, they managed to score a direct hit against the halbediers, sending them fleeing.
But their luck would not last.
The faggot dwarves were decapitated in memory of the brave potatoes they raped to death.
The battle the turns into a one-sided slaughter, but not before many men are lost to the artillery and the charge of the chaos knights. Even outnumbered they are a dangerous foe.
We resume our march towards Bechafen, where we will resupply our units and attempt to lift the siege of Wandergart.
Meanwhile, the rape gangs have penetrated far into the Empire, putting many important cities to siege and taking Middenheim, second most important city in Krautland. The inhabitants all suffered the ministrations of the machete.
The eastern half of the Empire is hit the hardest, with a large concentration of Chaos forces focusing on Ostland and even ranging as far as Breder. They might manage to cut the Empire in two that way.
Even the south is not safe from ITZ. Nachtdorf has been machete raped already and Waldenhof will soon suffer the same fate.
Our force is ready to attack the enemy rear in southern Ostland and perhaps turn the front in humanity's favor.
Two ITZ-Propellers accompany this rape gang. Ominous.
SAVING WANDERGART FROM THE RAPE GANGS
We deploy our Ukranians further back, to minimize whatever damage the artillery dishes out.
And the infantry line is ordered forward.
Machete riders begin harassing them, but the hussars arrive to the rescue.
Almost all of them die in the initial charge.
The infantry has almost finished it's redeployment.
And withstands the machete rider charge, putting an end to their decline.
The horde then clashes upon the steel wall.
Desolators advancing towards the hussars.
Not a very smart move on the niggers' part.
It is then the turn of the gun crews to receive tasteful rape.
The Krauts sally out of their city to assist us, but the battle has already been decided.
The desolators are decimated by the hussars and soon break.
This battle is already over. They just don't know it yet.
The Knights of Diversity also enter the field in search of rape gangs to kill.
The Imperials engage a single unit of Chaos Warriors with their entire force.
And the last coherent (if such a word can be used for the machete gangs) enemy force is eradicated.
A nice little victory. Wandergart will not be machete raped on our watch.
Another small battle occurs with the other Chaos force that was pretty banal, so it won't be recorded. Popping a bunch of marauder infantry is no challenge.
We then advance west, to lessen the pressure on Smallhof and drive the Chaos Hordes off Ostland completely.
Wolfenburg will be a tough nut to crack however.
The southern front is completely overrun with the fall of Waldenhof and with the orcs sieging the last imperial stronghold further south. Where the rape gangs will strike next only time will tell.
Soon a great battle will commence against two opposing armies, the largest one we have fought yet.
With a total of 4 ITZ-Propellers deployed. This will be bloody.
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
Mother of god.
If you succeed it will be like the Siege of Vienna, multiplied a thousandfold.
Godspeed, sons of Potato. Godspeed.
If you succeed it will be like the Siege of Vienna, multiplied a thousandfold.
Godspeed, sons of Potato. Godspeed.
Potato preserve us.
: xasongforsimeon
Educated
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2013
- Messages
- 73
The mod is masterfully done, but the amount of tedious grinding is something from hell. How they tought it would be fun to fight twenty full stacks in a row is beyond me.
Good god.
hostergaard
Educated
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2013
- Messages
- 71
Holy shit!
I warned you about west bro! I told you dog.
Good luck is all I can say.
I warned you about west bro! I told you dog.
Good luck is all I can say.
eklektyk
Erudite
sooooooooooooooooooo
time to bump this to next page
time to bump this to next page
Cassidy
Arcane
: x
kazgar
Arcane
: x
Let the bringers of ITZ slip and fall on mighty potato.
Let the bringers of ITZ slip and fall on mighty potato.
Cassidy
Arcane
KISLEV STRONG
exe
Augur
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2010
- Messages
- 359
When the 20 Ork stacks spawned in the middle of someones territory, I already thought that was bullshit. Then they spawn another 30 Chaos stacks -.-
I could never stomach late-game TW with having to fight way too many stacks, but this is just ridiculous. What kind of a masochist do you have to be to grind through all those stacks?
also bump
I could never stomach late-game TW with having to fight way too many stacks, but this is just ridiculous. What kind of a masochist do you have to be to grind through all those stacks?
also bump
eklektyk
Erudite
bumpan
- Joined
- May 13, 2009
- Messages
- 27,586
BUMPING POTATO
Cassidy
Arcane
Ostermark is one of the toughest to play in the Holy Roman Empire, with potential for three-way rape between Orkz, Chaos and Legacy of Carstein. Taking back Mordheim will be fun.
THE POTATO HAS ABANDONED US
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