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In Progress Call of Warhammer: horrible raep edition
- Thread starter Corporate_Jew_Master
- Start date
eklektyk
Erudite
how dare they steal our glourious potato: x
M-muh potatoes
When's the update?
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Screenies have been taken and uploaded, 240 of them or so. I suspect 200 of them will be in the update.
Fighting orks this update also
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
: x
greenskin massacre best day of my life
greenskin massacre best day of my life
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
THE GREAT INCLINE
The Tzar marches out to engage the first russian horde set on machete raping the hapless potato and ukranian populace.
Pretty standard demon selection and only 1 unit of each. When ITZ is set in motion we will be seeing a greater variety and far greater number of these horrors.
ANOTHER BATTLE NEAR ZOISHENK
Standard formation with the infantry occupying the center and the hussars the flanks. In the open expanses of Kislev it's almost always the best tactic, considering our populous light cavalry.
Drunk Ukranian molotov-throwing anarchists also accompany our army and will prove to be a great asset later on.
The infantry line will stand firm in the face of russian aggression.
The battle begins and we notice that the enemy has positioned his daemons opposite our right, supported by marauder light cavalry. The flamers must die before they have a chance to unleash their flamewar.
The Ukranian and highfag auxilaries open fire.
And our cavalry advances dangerously close to the Chaos Knights. Marauders are maneuvered from the enemy main line to support the T-34 equivalents.
The hussars quickly deploy themselves on the enemy flank.
And as the horde begins it's charge the missile troops quickly withdraw behind the pike line.
The anarchists are also prepared for a party never seen since the Orange Revolution.
This deployment shall be the hammer which will shatter the enemy line as it charges their rear.
[IMG]http://i1015.photobucket.com/albums...rfest/kingdoms2013-02-2522-52-26-13.png[/IMG]
And the infantry battle begins as the ogres swing their machetes at the potato pikemen.
Anarchists and russian shitposters are having a flamewar of their own that no one dares to break up for fear of butthurt.
Pretty standard suicidal charge, glory, potato etc etc
The anarchists give zero fucks about the capitalist hussars taking friendly fire and continue throwing molotovs.
Meanwhile the ogres are being turned into adana kebabs.
And the screamers enjoy their status of never being nerfed.
The battle is a bloody one as the flamers and screamers have devastated the hussars who nevertheless charge the enemy rear and cause them even greater casualties. The chaos knights charge the hussar rear in turn.
Butthurt
incoming
Another glorious victory for the Potato-Hitman-Ukranian Commonwealth.
remove vodka REMOVE VODKA
The Tzar withdraws to replenish his army and the Zoishenk garrison marches out to defeat the secondary chaos horde.
Yep, you guessed it. Lel-i-fireball-u faggots that can solo an army if played by a human.
BATTLE OF THE HOVERDISKS
The fortification on our right could either ruin our deployment or help us channel the sorcerers towards our lancers.
Standard deployment with the hussars on the right positioned on the far side of the fort.
And the guests of honor, screened by a force of heavy knights. They might be almost immune to arrows but lances to the face are another matter.
The hussars will position themselves on their flank and either draw their fire or charge their exposed rear.
And the Ukranians open fire on the horrors before they sap the morale of our troops.
The horde keeps coming closer, suffering heavy casualties by the brave kossar patriots.
And the sorcerers begin poppin those moles.
The Ukranians fire one last volley
Then pull back as they begin suffering from the toxic waste that is russian magic.
The hussars charge the sorcerers and are intercepted by the chaos knights as well as a force of reinforcing infantry.
THey are ordered to break through.
On the other flank the battle goes extermely well as the enemy exposed rear and flanks are rolled up.
But the sorcerers and chaos juggernauts cause the other flank extreme casualties.
They just keep hovering, giving 0 fucks.
More toxic goo is propelled.
The hussars keep closing in.
And the wizards, safe in the knowledge that they are the most op unit in the mod, continue their blissful existence of being unable to care about anything.
The hussars withstand the chernobyl goo and proceed by giving them a lance to the throat.
Lance to the throat.
And a block of pikemen start having it tough.
But thankfully wherever the bears go victory soon follows.
The enemy infantry breaks and allows our own to redeploy on the double.
Most of the hussars are dead at this point so the pikemen have to take UFOs down.
The enemy chaos warriors are surrounded and become the main attraction of a greek orthodox easter celebration.
The hoverpriests just hover away and keep zapping the pikemen.
Only 2 remain but 2 of them are enough to cause us another 500 casualties if not dealt with at once.
Finally, the bears make a meal of the russian warlord.
A lance bypasses the sorcerer's wards and turns his guts into noodle soup, leaving only one of them alive and hovering.
Who doesn't last long on his own. The casualties are enormous. I shudder to think what will happen when we have to face these guys on a regular basis. I've won battles with only 3 units of necrarchs, an inferior sorcerer unit, against full stacks before. 3 units of these dudes in a full army, even led by the AI, could make victories too phyrric to be any beneficial.
I am starting to consider suicidal mujadhedin strike forces of hussars to harry armies with sorcerers in them and slaughter them before the main armies arrive to kill the rest.
The army is pulled back into Zoishenk to replenish, this storm having been withstood as well. And a plague strucks Pskov.
Glam rock russians are sighted off the coast. Nothing much to worry about though, they are probably heading to machete rape Marienburg rather than us.
Katana wielding Ukranian murder machines?
I'd like to buy all of them, thank you very much.
Dear god, these guys can make any battlefield feel like the german occupation of greece for the germans. 'Can hide anywhere' means just that. If some poor russian horde stumbles on them they are as good as dead.
The KHORNATES have poured enough reinforcements into Urslo to make it's seizure counter-productive. This army shall be ordered back towards the south, where more opportunities for expansiion lie.
Miltiades cleaned house in Ostermark, probably destroying half the province in the process.
And our recently returned expeditionary force comes across a small force of goblins.
Yeah, this won't last.
But the Twilights only have Waldenhof
And the Blood Keep. They won't last much longer either I think. Also notice that a beastman machete gang has raped Nuln. The city is basically a license to print money. I am seriously considering marching an army across the world to seize it.
Meanwhile ITZ came to the Border Princes. Averland will profit from it.
And a war of attrition rages between the chaos dorfz and the night goblins near the goblin capital. Were it not for all those stacks I'd consider outfitting an expedition.
Come to think of it, considering our huge income, we could outfit 2-3 full legions and send them towards Red Eye Mountain. Another nice expansion route.
And this is where we shall strike first. Two cities ripe for the taking.
WHACKING THE GOBLIN MOLES
We attack the small goblin force in the north. They are pathetically weak. Time to have some fun.
Standard deployment, although we shall not use the infantry at all.
The Ukranians open fire on the tightly packed goblin horde and hilarity ensues as whole gangs of them bite the dust.
The KKK net throwers begin to advance, only to change their minds soon after when a volley catches them in the face.
The wolf riders are superb light cavalry though, extremely fast and surprisingly accurate.
1000 Ukranians are more than a match for them though.
The hussars begin a lulz charge at the goblin rear.
Observe the numbers of the goblin regiment.
And do so once again after the initial charge.
Yeah, this is a joke.
The hussars reform.
And charge again, this time at the KKK divisions.
I kinda feel sorry for them.
NASTY, FILTHY LITTLE POTATOSSEES
We take some heavier casualties than normally, but whackin these moles is proving to be quite refreshing after hordes and hordes of Russian turborapists.
The bears don't take a single casualty.
It's like hunting duck. Only ducks don't squeel so cutely.
No comment.
Normally I'd let them go but we need to keep marching south before someone else decides to take those cities.
With your forces reinforced for the battle ahead, the army keeps going southwards.
The Kraut sends an inane letter composed by General Imperial Secretary Andhaira that rambles about ITZ and that it's comin. We'll dead with it when the time comes.
And here's something you don't see everyday. Enjoy the fluff.
A great shame I didn't get the event to recruit these dudes. They sound like massive bros.
VODKU FER TEA, VODKU FER TEA, VODKU FER TEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEA
ITZ COMIN alright.
And this is where the machete gangs will strike first.
I fucking love orkz. I almost always feel bad for killing them. They don't though, which is why we better send some help towards the Krauts.
Looks like we'll be a bit busy though.
BATTLE OF BOLGASGRAD
Lots of Bestigors in this one. Minotaurs are always a must so I ain't surprised.
Katana Skyway will take care of them though.
And the Chekists have also reformed behind a new leader.
COMRADE PASHENKO NEVER FORGET
We also have some sorcerers of our own this time. Let's see if they are as good as the russian ones.
Huge chunks of ice begin dropping on the horde.
Good lord.
KEEP POPPIN THOSE MOLES BROS.
Holy shit these guys are rapists.
STAY FROSTY
Battle has only just started and we killed 10% of them.
And the ride refuses to end.
The goats have had enough and begin a disorganised all-out charge. Icebros and Ukranians are pulled back.
With a thundering clash the Bestigors meet the pike wall and the grind commences.
The attackers are held at bay, beaten by the nature of their weaponry.
And the frost novas continue.
Folded over a billion times and able to cut through time itself, the katana is a superweapon wielded with great skill by these Ukranian patriots.
It has been fun, goats. But it's time to end this.
The hussars have almost reformed and the Gors start making a run for it.
The Bestigors are as indomitable as ever though.
The Gors begin to receive lances in the face and soon break.
While the Chekists begin to flank the enemy.
Finally, the Beastman Shaman and his personal guard attack the Ukranians, but their superior nippon steel that can slice a steam tank in two will keep them alive.
As well as a nicely timed hussar charge at the enemy rear.
It was never a contest to begin with but it's even less so now.
The mages keep throwing ice novas around and having a grand time smashing things.
Even the Minotaurs soil their loincloths and start running to the hills.
It's been a fun mosh pit. I doubt they'll drop by again soon.
Getting closer.
And a new army is being raised in Kislev under the Tzarevitch that contains a sizeable contigent of Streltsy musketeers as well. It might be able to intercept the Orks before they begin raping the province.
Or not. Still, the city has a full garrisson and can withstand the siege by the time we arrive.
We invest Chernigov in turn.
And the Krauts prove to be as incompetent as ever.
But the valient Tzarevitch, heir to Potato, shall liberate them with fire and sword.
BATTLE OF BECHAFEN
The second, full ork army, is intercepted outside the city.
And let me tell you, these guys mean business. While not uberexteremly powerful, the black orks are very hard to kill and have very high availability that makes them pretty common in orks armies.
We position the musketeers at the front of the line, where they will remain until ordered otherwise. They are also proficient in melee combat.
And cavalry at the flanks.
The odds are against us it seems, but with a few volleys we might begin to bring them back to our favor.
The first line kneels to reload as the second one takes aim.
And lays down another wall of fire.
Considering the high number of Orks, these dudes are doing a pretty good job,
This will be trouble though.
Yeah, no.
The cavalry is deployed on the flank of the approaching enemy.
And the sun begins to set as ITZ gets closer and closer. Ominous.
The Streltsy discard their muskets in favour of their axes and valiantly resist the ork charge.
The BLOBERTs also enter the fray.
And the Destroyers are met by the cavalry.
The Streltsy are ordered back as the pikemen begin to advance in their stead.
The Kreml Guard also charges the boar cavalry opposite them.
All is now slaughter as the two lines clash, the main ork line having been disordered by the brave sacrifice of the streltsy, torn up at places, allowing the pikemen to hit them from multiple angles and negate their superior physical strength.
The musketeers are ordered to assist the cavalry on the left flank.
While on the right the fight turns sour. We must avoid losing another Tzarevitch.
So he and the bearbros withdraw, reform and charge again, with different results with time.
The dreaded Black Orks begin to fall.
The cavalry begins to win the grind on the west too, despite the poor visibility, aided by the Streltsy firing on the enemy's rear.
Soon the Ork Warchief fertilizes the plain with his massive carcass.
And part of his warband begins routing.
The fight is still far from over though as significant concentrations of the enemy remain on the field.
The Bears and Hussars charge to tie them down while the infantry moves in to support.
The lesser units begin to rout in turn, chased down by a few hussars while the rest turn around to help at the more critical points.
Such as this one.
The last of the black orkz are broken and chased until none remain to challenge us.
Due to the large amount of elite troops massed against us the victory is called a heroic one.
We reform our regiments as best as we can and march on Bechafen. An opportunity has been made here. If we can seize the province before the Imperials we could claim it as our own.
And the race is won. The garisson has been much reduced after storming the place so the siege shouldn't be a bother.
They sally out and attack us but are roundly beaten. The battle was extremely easy and uninteresting so I did not record it.
We march another garrison in and pull the Tzarevitch back to Kislev to retrain his army.
Krauts just can't catch a break.
Chernigov is also taken, bringing our borders to the greatest extent ever enjoyed by the glorious Potato Commonwealth.
And yeah, more russians. I just hope Archaon will invade soon so I can put all this gold into use. We are just printing money at this point with all these rich provinces and recent conquests. After we finish conquering the south I might start arming a massive expedition to seize Red Eye Mountain.
The Tzar marches out to engage the first russian horde set on machete raping the hapless potato and ukranian populace.
Pretty standard demon selection and only 1 unit of each. When ITZ is set in motion we will be seeing a greater variety and far greater number of these horrors.
ANOTHER BATTLE NEAR ZOISHENK
Standard formation with the infantry occupying the center and the hussars the flanks. In the open expanses of Kislev it's almost always the best tactic, considering our populous light cavalry.
Drunk Ukranian molotov-throwing anarchists also accompany our army and will prove to be a great asset later on.
The infantry line will stand firm in the face of russian aggression.
The battle begins and we notice that the enemy has positioned his daemons opposite our right, supported by marauder light cavalry. The flamers must die before they have a chance to unleash their flamewar.
The Ukranian and highfag auxilaries open fire.
And our cavalry advances dangerously close to the Chaos Knights. Marauders are maneuvered from the enemy main line to support the T-34 equivalents.
The hussars quickly deploy themselves on the enemy flank.
And as the horde begins it's charge the missile troops quickly withdraw behind the pike line.
The anarchists are also prepared for a party never seen since the Orange Revolution.
This deployment shall be the hammer which will shatter the enemy line as it charges their rear.
[IMG]http://i1015.photobucket.com/albums...rfest/kingdoms2013-02-2522-52-26-13.png[/IMG]
And the infantry battle begins as the ogres swing their machetes at the potato pikemen.
Anarchists and russian shitposters are having a flamewar of their own that no one dares to break up for fear of butthurt.
Pretty standard suicidal charge, glory, potato etc etc
The anarchists give zero fucks about the capitalist hussars taking friendly fire and continue throwing molotovs.
Meanwhile the ogres are being turned into adana kebabs.
And the screamers enjoy their status of never being nerfed.
The battle is a bloody one as the flamers and screamers have devastated the hussars who nevertheless charge the enemy rear and cause them even greater casualties. The chaos knights charge the hussar rear in turn.
Butthurt
incoming
Another glorious victory for the Potato-Hitman-Ukranian Commonwealth.
remove vodka REMOVE VODKA
The Tzar withdraws to replenish his army and the Zoishenk garrison marches out to defeat the secondary chaos horde.
Yep, you guessed it. Lel-i-fireball-u faggots that can solo an army if played by a human.
BATTLE OF THE HOVERDISKS
The fortification on our right could either ruin our deployment or help us channel the sorcerers towards our lancers.
Standard deployment with the hussars on the right positioned on the far side of the fort.
And the guests of honor, screened by a force of heavy knights. They might be almost immune to arrows but lances to the face are another matter.
The hussars will position themselves on their flank and either draw their fire or charge their exposed rear.
And the Ukranians open fire on the horrors before they sap the morale of our troops.
The horde keeps coming closer, suffering heavy casualties by the brave kossar patriots.
And the sorcerers begin poppin those moles.
The Ukranians fire one last volley
Then pull back as they begin suffering from the toxic waste that is russian magic.
The hussars charge the sorcerers and are intercepted by the chaos knights as well as a force of reinforcing infantry.
THey are ordered to break through.
On the other flank the battle goes extermely well as the enemy exposed rear and flanks are rolled up.
But the sorcerers and chaos juggernauts cause the other flank extreme casualties.
They just keep hovering, giving 0 fucks.
More toxic goo is propelled.
The hussars keep closing in.
And the wizards, safe in the knowledge that they are the most op unit in the mod, continue their blissful existence of being unable to care about anything.
The hussars withstand the chernobyl goo and proceed by giving them a lance to the throat.
Lance to the throat.
And a block of pikemen start having it tough.
But thankfully wherever the bears go victory soon follows.
The enemy infantry breaks and allows our own to redeploy on the double.
Most of the hussars are dead at this point so the pikemen have to take UFOs down.
The enemy chaos warriors are surrounded and become the main attraction of a greek orthodox easter celebration.
The hoverpriests just hover away and keep zapping the pikemen.
Only 2 remain but 2 of them are enough to cause us another 500 casualties if not dealt with at once.
Finally, the bears make a meal of the russian warlord.
A lance bypasses the sorcerer's wards and turns his guts into noodle soup, leaving only one of them alive and hovering.
Who doesn't last long on his own. The casualties are enormous. I shudder to think what will happen when we have to face these guys on a regular basis. I've won battles with only 3 units of necrarchs, an inferior sorcerer unit, against full stacks before. 3 units of these dudes in a full army, even led by the AI, could make victories too phyrric to be any beneficial.
I am starting to consider suicidal mujadhedin strike forces of hussars to harry armies with sorcerers in them and slaughter them before the main armies arrive to kill the rest.
The army is pulled back into Zoishenk to replenish, this storm having been withstood as well. And a plague strucks Pskov.
Glam rock russians are sighted off the coast. Nothing much to worry about though, they are probably heading to machete rape Marienburg rather than us.
Katana wielding Ukranian murder machines?
I'd like to buy all of them, thank you very much.
Dear god, these guys can make any battlefield feel like the german occupation of greece for the germans. 'Can hide anywhere' means just that. If some poor russian horde stumbles on them they are as good as dead.
The KHORNATES have poured enough reinforcements into Urslo to make it's seizure counter-productive. This army shall be ordered back towards the south, where more opportunities for expansiion lie.
Miltiades cleaned house in Ostermark, probably destroying half the province in the process.
And our recently returned expeditionary force comes across a small force of goblins.
Yeah, this won't last.
But the Twilights only have Waldenhof
And the Blood Keep. They won't last much longer either I think. Also notice that a beastman machete gang has raped Nuln. The city is basically a license to print money. I am seriously considering marching an army across the world to seize it.
Meanwhile ITZ came to the Border Princes. Averland will profit from it.
And a war of attrition rages between the chaos dorfz and the night goblins near the goblin capital. Were it not for all those stacks I'd consider outfitting an expedition.
Come to think of it, considering our huge income, we could outfit 2-3 full legions and send them towards Red Eye Mountain. Another nice expansion route.
And this is where we shall strike first. Two cities ripe for the taking.
WHACKING THE GOBLIN MOLES
We attack the small goblin force in the north. They are pathetically weak. Time to have some fun.
Standard deployment, although we shall not use the infantry at all.
The Ukranians open fire on the tightly packed goblin horde and hilarity ensues as whole gangs of them bite the dust.
The KKK net throwers begin to advance, only to change their minds soon after when a volley catches them in the face.
The wolf riders are superb light cavalry though, extremely fast and surprisingly accurate.
1000 Ukranians are more than a match for them though.
The hussars begin a lulz charge at the goblin rear.
Observe the numbers of the goblin regiment.
And do so once again after the initial charge.
Yeah, this is a joke.
The hussars reform.
And charge again, this time at the KKK divisions.
I kinda feel sorry for them.
NASTY, FILTHY LITTLE POTATOSSEES
We take some heavier casualties than normally, but whackin these moles is proving to be quite refreshing after hordes and hordes of Russian turborapists.
The bears don't take a single casualty.
It's like hunting duck. Only ducks don't squeel so cutely.
No comment.
Normally I'd let them go but we need to keep marching south before someone else decides to take those cities.
With your forces reinforced for the battle ahead, the army keeps going southwards.
The Kraut sends an inane letter composed by General Imperial Secretary Andhaira that rambles about ITZ and that it's comin. We'll dead with it when the time comes.
And here's something you don't see everyday. Enjoy the fluff.
A great shame I didn't get the event to recruit these dudes. They sound like massive bros.
VODKU FER TEA, VODKU FER TEA, VODKU FER TEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEAVODKUFERTEA
ITZ COMIN alright.
And this is where the machete gangs will strike first.
I fucking love orkz. I almost always feel bad for killing them. They don't though, which is why we better send some help towards the Krauts.
Looks like we'll be a bit busy though.
BATTLE OF BOLGASGRAD
Lots of Bestigors in this one. Minotaurs are always a must so I ain't surprised.
Katana Skyway will take care of them though.
And the Chekists have also reformed behind a new leader.
COMRADE PASHENKO NEVER FORGET
We also have some sorcerers of our own this time. Let's see if they are as good as the russian ones.
Huge chunks of ice begin dropping on the horde.
Good lord.
KEEP POPPIN THOSE MOLES BROS.
Holy shit these guys are rapists.
STAY FROSTY
Battle has only just started and we killed 10% of them.
And the ride refuses to end.
The goats have had enough and begin a disorganised all-out charge. Icebros and Ukranians are pulled back.
With a thundering clash the Bestigors meet the pike wall and the grind commences.
The attackers are held at bay, beaten by the nature of their weaponry.
And the frost novas continue.
Folded over a billion times and able to cut through time itself, the katana is a superweapon wielded with great skill by these Ukranian patriots.
It has been fun, goats. But it's time to end this.
The hussars have almost reformed and the Gors start making a run for it.
The Bestigors are as indomitable as ever though.
The Gors begin to receive lances in the face and soon break.
While the Chekists begin to flank the enemy.
Finally, the Beastman Shaman and his personal guard attack the Ukranians, but their superior nippon steel that can slice a steam tank in two will keep them alive.
As well as a nicely timed hussar charge at the enemy rear.
It was never a contest to begin with but it's even less so now.
The mages keep throwing ice novas around and having a grand time smashing things.
Even the Minotaurs soil their loincloths and start running to the hills.
It's been a fun mosh pit. I doubt they'll drop by again soon.
Getting closer.
And a new army is being raised in Kislev under the Tzarevitch that contains a sizeable contigent of Streltsy musketeers as well. It might be able to intercept the Orks before they begin raping the province.
Or not. Still, the city has a full garrisson and can withstand the siege by the time we arrive.
We invest Chernigov in turn.
And the Krauts prove to be as incompetent as ever.
But the valient Tzarevitch, heir to Potato, shall liberate them with fire and sword.
BATTLE OF BECHAFEN
The second, full ork army, is intercepted outside the city.
And let me tell you, these guys mean business. While not uberexteremly powerful, the black orks are very hard to kill and have very high availability that makes them pretty common in orks armies.
We position the musketeers at the front of the line, where they will remain until ordered otherwise. They are also proficient in melee combat.
And cavalry at the flanks.
The odds are against us it seems, but with a few volleys we might begin to bring them back to our favor.
The first line kneels to reload as the second one takes aim.
And lays down another wall of fire.
Considering the high number of Orks, these dudes are doing a pretty good job,
This will be trouble though.
Yeah, no.
The cavalry is deployed on the flank of the approaching enemy.
And the sun begins to set as ITZ gets closer and closer. Ominous.
The Streltsy discard their muskets in favour of their axes and valiantly resist the ork charge.
The BLOBERTs also enter the fray.
And the Destroyers are met by the cavalry.
The Streltsy are ordered back as the pikemen begin to advance in their stead.
The Kreml Guard also charges the boar cavalry opposite them.
All is now slaughter as the two lines clash, the main ork line having been disordered by the brave sacrifice of the streltsy, torn up at places, allowing the pikemen to hit them from multiple angles and negate their superior physical strength.
The musketeers are ordered to assist the cavalry on the left flank.
While on the right the fight turns sour. We must avoid losing another Tzarevitch.
So he and the bearbros withdraw, reform and charge again, with different results with time.
The dreaded Black Orks begin to fall.
The cavalry begins to win the grind on the west too, despite the poor visibility, aided by the Streltsy firing on the enemy's rear.
Soon the Ork Warchief fertilizes the plain with his massive carcass.
And part of his warband begins routing.
The fight is still far from over though as significant concentrations of the enemy remain on the field.
The Bears and Hussars charge to tie them down while the infantry moves in to support.
The lesser units begin to rout in turn, chased down by a few hussars while the rest turn around to help at the more critical points.
Such as this one.
The last of the black orkz are broken and chased until none remain to challenge us.
Due to the large amount of elite troops massed against us the victory is called a heroic one.
We reform our regiments as best as we can and march on Bechafen. An opportunity has been made here. If we can seize the province before the Imperials we could claim it as our own.
And the race is won. The garisson has been much reduced after storming the place so the siege shouldn't be a bother.
They sally out and attack us but are roundly beaten. The battle was extremely easy and uninteresting so I did not record it.
We march another garrison in and pull the Tzarevitch back to Kislev to retrain his army.
Krauts just can't catch a break.
Chernigov is also taken, bringing our borders to the greatest extent ever enjoyed by the glorious Potato Commonwealth.
And yeah, more russians. I just hope Archaon will invade soon so I can put all this gold into use. We are just printing money at this point with all these rich provinces and recent conquests. After we finish conquering the south I might start arming a massive expedition to seize Red Eye Mountain.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
EMERGENCY UPDATE
DEFENSE OF PRAAG
The army of Bolgasgrad marches to Praag to keep the city safe in case of any setbacks. Meanwhile, Michael of Praag sallies out to meet the invaders.
Khornate armies, while having extremely high attack values, are nevertheless blessedly devoid of any sorcerous assistance.
Due to the hilly terrain the army is deployed further to the front for a vigorous offensive that will hopefully catch the horde disorganised.
While the hussars are massed on one flank for maximum shock value.
Unfortunately the russians demonstrate a tactical awareness uncommon to their kind, catching us wrong-footed.
The entire army is ordered to redoploy as fast as possible beneath the hill.
The large hussar force, over 600 strong, is positioned towards the enemy flank.
The horde is still disorganised but part of it is successfully drawn towards the hussars.
While the marauders approach the Ukranians and suffer accordingly.
They will take an offensive stance and rain as much fire down the enemy as possible.
The hussars are split into two even groups to surround or at least draw away and expose the incoming chaos contigents.
The chaos marauders are the first to suffer beneath Kossar arrows.
And the infantry edges ever closer.
The horde is split in two and disorganised. The Hussars have done their job admirably.
The infantry shall be able to envelop and destroy this force, then move on to the other.
The Kreml Guard draw the heavy knights away from the flanks of the pikemen
and expose their flank to the hussars, who charge en masse at the hindquarters of the second chaos force, causing them massive casualties.
The infantry engages the enemy and successfully envelops them.
They are caught in a pincer, the ogres at the head of the salient.
And the chaos warlord is soon brought down.
Their entire northern flank soon gives away, the russians throwing down their weapons and making a run for it.
As is the case on the southern flank. The center is now exposed on both sides.
They are caught on all sides, their escape routes sealed.
Soon the rout is complete.
For a more clear picture, this is what happened to their elite warriors at the center. Engaged on three sides and hit by the hussars on the back, they stood no chance.
All in all one of our best victories, considering the insane combat values Khorne's minions have.
Michael of Praag has by now become an expert commander, having engaged and destroyed many a russian horde approaching his city.
After this victory, all is quiet in the realm, with only one more horde left to combat, which will prove no greater challenge.
BUT ALAS, THE PEACE WAS NOT TO LAST.
ITZ COMIN
ARCHAON, LORD OF THE MACHETE GANGS, THOUSAND-RAPIST AND CONGOID KING MARCHES OUT OF THE GATE OF CHAOS, HAVING GAINED THE BLESSINGS OF THE
AND ALL THE CHAOS GODS.
: The Decline has finally marched down from the North to wage a war on the dreams of mankind.
: It comes in all it's abominable forms, taking the shapes we collectively hate and fear the most.
: In the form of the despicable communism that our great grandfathers fought so hard to keep at bay, seeking to corrupt our conservative values and way of life.
: In the form of popamole banality and health regen that have been shitting on our precious vidcons from great height.
: In the form of niggers led by jews advocating CHANGE and plotting to put an end to our great nations.
: And in it's most decadent form that has been undermining the progress of western civilization since it's conception.
: I warned you manboons but you did not listen. ITZ COMING TO POTATOLAND AND THERE IS NO PLAN YOUR INADEQUATE SAPIEN BRAINS WILL EVER FORMULATE TO STOP IT.
: You laughed at me when I was building my vault in Ulthuan, but now the roles have been reversed. You will have time to consider the possibility that things would've been different had you heeded my warnings when you are serving as pleasure slaves in some russian gulag at the north pole or when some ungreased orkoid is busy stuffing your caverns with his green meat. Your lands will be home to open air babymeat barbecues but you'll have no time worrying about that as naked machete cannibal rapists, frothing at the mouth, are hunting you through the woods of Talabecland. Even these sad excuses of elven specimen at the Gold Coast of Ulthuan will be laughing and jeering at your plight before ITZ comes for them as well.
: Meanwhile I will be safely locked away and provisioned inside my fortress-vault, it's elaborate design a miracle born of Neanderthal intellect that no congoid horde will ever manage to penetrate and finally complete GRIM WAH, my masterpiece that will leave an echo of the incline that could've been if not for you for ages to come.
Meanwhile, at the Empire.
: RAPE BY ORKZ OR RAPE BY ARCHAON, WHICH IS BETTER AND WHY? DISCUSS!!
Back in Kislev
: Due to excessive production and consumption of frankenwheat in the imperial demense, the population is mentally and physically ill, cowardly and decadent, dwelling in perpetual decline and inanity. They will not be able to withstand ITZ and all the horrors that will soon be arriving. That leaves us as the first and final line of defense of mankind in these dark times, having wisely discarded the evil of frankenwhat in favor of Potato. If we remain true and steadfast to our spiritual traditions and ancestral values, I have no doubt that we will prevail once more.
: I've read enough picture novels imported from Nippon to be immune to whatever terrors might lie ahead. At least the Storm of Chaos won't drag on for 800 volumes.
And so Chaos Undivided is born. We are fucked.
We dispatch our jews to the most remote locations in the north to keep track of their preparations. Due to their massive size and only recent unification, it will take them some time before they can organise their hordes of rape and start their warpath. Time we will use to finish the conquest of the south and maybe even outfit a massive expedition to keep them occupied at the Northern passes, where their superior numbers won't matter for much.
THE REAL DARK SOULS STARTS HERE.
DEFENSE OF PRAAG
The army of Bolgasgrad marches to Praag to keep the city safe in case of any setbacks. Meanwhile, Michael of Praag sallies out to meet the invaders.
Khornate armies, while having extremely high attack values, are nevertheless blessedly devoid of any sorcerous assistance.
Due to the hilly terrain the army is deployed further to the front for a vigorous offensive that will hopefully catch the horde disorganised.
While the hussars are massed on one flank for maximum shock value.
Unfortunately the russians demonstrate a tactical awareness uncommon to their kind, catching us wrong-footed.
The entire army is ordered to redoploy as fast as possible beneath the hill.
The large hussar force, over 600 strong, is positioned towards the enemy flank.
The horde is still disorganised but part of it is successfully drawn towards the hussars.
While the marauders approach the Ukranians and suffer accordingly.
They will take an offensive stance and rain as much fire down the enemy as possible.
The hussars are split into two even groups to surround or at least draw away and expose the incoming chaos contigents.
The chaos marauders are the first to suffer beneath Kossar arrows.
And the infantry edges ever closer.
The horde is split in two and disorganised. The Hussars have done their job admirably.
The infantry shall be able to envelop and destroy this force, then move on to the other.
The Kreml Guard draw the heavy knights away from the flanks of the pikemen
and expose their flank to the hussars, who charge en masse at the hindquarters of the second chaos force, causing them massive casualties.
The infantry engages the enemy and successfully envelops them.
They are caught in a pincer, the ogres at the head of the salient.
And the chaos warlord is soon brought down.
Their entire northern flank soon gives away, the russians throwing down their weapons and making a run for it.
As is the case on the southern flank. The center is now exposed on both sides.
They are caught on all sides, their escape routes sealed.
Soon the rout is complete.
For a more clear picture, this is what happened to their elite warriors at the center. Engaged on three sides and hit by the hussars on the back, they stood no chance.
All in all one of our best victories, considering the insane combat values Khorne's minions have.
Michael of Praag has by now become an expert commander, having engaged and destroyed many a russian horde approaching his city.
After this victory, all is quiet in the realm, with only one more horde left to combat, which will prove no greater challenge.
BUT ALAS, THE PEACE WAS NOT TO LAST.
ITZ COMIN
ARCHAON, LORD OF THE MACHETE GANGS, THOUSAND-RAPIST AND CONGOID KING MARCHES OUT OF THE GATE OF CHAOS, HAVING GAINED THE BLESSINGS OF THE
AND ALL THE CHAOS GODS.
: The Decline has finally marched down from the North to wage a war on the dreams of mankind.
: It comes in all it's abominable forms, taking the shapes we collectively hate and fear the most.
Meanwhile, at the Empire.
Back in Kislev
And so Chaos Undivided is born. We are fucked.
We dispatch our jews to the most remote locations in the north to keep track of their preparations. Due to their massive size and only recent unification, it will take them some time before they can organise their hordes of rape and start their warpath. Time we will use to finish the conquest of the south and maybe even outfit a massive expedition to keep them occupied at the Northern passes, where their superior numbers won't matter for much.
THE REAL DARK SOULS STARTS HERE.
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
All is lost, brothers.
But we shall not fall. We shall stand our ground, no matter their numbers. With shot and arrow and pike and sword and axe and lance and fist and teeth, if need be, we shall destroy the hordes of ITZ.
Even if we should fall, let us drag so many of them down with us that even in times long past, when ITZ has come and gone and Cleve's bunker lies broken, whatever primitive degenerates remain shall forever remember Potato with awe and fear!
For Potato!
: x
But we shall not fall. We shall stand our ground, no matter their numbers. With shot and arrow and pike and sword and axe and lance and fist and teeth, if need be, we shall destroy the hordes of ITZ.
Even if we should fall, let us drag so many of them down with us that even in times long past, when ITZ has come and gone and Cleve's bunker lies broken, whatever primitive degenerates remain shall forever remember Potato with awe and fear!
For Potato!
: x
MetalCraze
Arcane
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
eklektyk
Erudite
bumpin' dat Potato
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Kislev starts with Erengrad, Praag and Kislev itself which make you a lot of money. The provinces in the west are also pretty rich, so I was able to bounce back fast whenever I had to pay upkeep for huge stacks stationed outside the cities. Ostland starts as the poorest imperial province, I think.
But at least they get spared from this.
Yeah about turn 80 and haven't had too much to deal with beyond roaming beastmen stacks and a few northern Dark Elf incursions.
http://whfb.lexicanum.com/wiki/Bretonnia_(outdated)
Damn the older fluff for Bretonnia was a lot less retarded. Safer and more prosperous than the beastmen-infested Empire but crippled by a decadent, effeminate aristocracy and ineffective monarchs. No wonder WFRP ignores the retcon of them into King Arthur LARPers (who they've recently given an injection of grimdark).
http://whfb.lexicanum.com/wiki/Bretonnia_(outdated)
Damn the older fluff for Bretonnia was a lot less retarded. Safer and more prosperous than the beastmen-infested Empire but crippled by a decadent, effeminate aristocracy and ineffective monarchs. No wonder WFRP ignores the retcon of them into King Arthur LARPers (who they've recently given an injection of grimdark).
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
The new Bretonnia is ridiculously grimdark. The peasants are all living in extreme poverty, are all inbred nearly-mutant freaks and suffer from siege-of-leningrad tier malnutrition. Why the fuck they turned it from late medieval france into some uberdystopian feudal hell I will never know. Then again GW pushed Ward's new fluff so I suppose no more needs to be said about their appreciation of talent.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Small update and decision time, make sure to bump this to page five.
WHERE WITCHERS DARE
While the Krauts get elite Italian mercenaries and armored orks, Potatoland gets deserters. Great.
They could always be used as cannon fodder. They are pretty cheap to recruit and maintain too.
But the rape gang that escaped after their fellows were slaughtered near Praag has been seen heading towards the south, to the city of Pskov most likely.
The Ruskies are tripping balls it seems.
BUT A BUNCH OF CHAOS RAPE GANG LSD ADDICTS ARE THE LEAST OF OUR PROBLEMS NOW.
Fuck this, they are on their own.
BATTLE OF PSKOV
Here we go again.
Hopefully the Streltsy will be able to thin them out enough for most of our army to survive intact. I have plans for them.
The horde starts moving, raising clouds of dust.
Typical hussar pre-battle maneuvers.
And the boomsticks get to work.
I find it weird that they use double-line volleys but not triple ones. Oh well.
Here comes the diversity.
The hussars prepare to charge while another wing moves around to assume flanking positions.
Man, beast and potato meet in the field.
The initial charge only managed to kill a single bloodcrusher and a handful of knights. The odds are even worse at melee range so we pull the bros back.
The Knights give chase, eager to rape.
But end up getting rammed in the rear.
And then surrounded. Hopefully we can destroy them this way.
The Streltsy fire one last volley at point blank range. Lots of russians get led straight in the face and topple down. Time for the axes to come out.
The Chaos Trolls charge through the tight ranks of a pike formation and almost manage to shatter it, scattering the men. Even with the Kreml Guard coming against them they keep smashing everyone flat.
And the Knights are buying the farm.
The Bloodcrushers also lose a lot of their number trying to fuck with the infantry and decide pull out. The axemen start tripping them on their way out.
The musketeers are ordered to deploy on the backs of the enemy.
They are charged by the Knights. Observe the beginnings of the enemy rout further back.
The few Marauders that retain the will to fight are soon robbed of it.
The Hussars get to work surrounding and cutting off the remaining enemy forces, slaughtering them piecemeal.
The Axemen don't remain idle either.
Even the pikemen start popping moles on their own.
Another chaos warlord brought down.
The only enemy force remaining on the field are the Chaos Trolls.
Who very much refuse to die. Watch the potato spearman flying in the background.
Welcome to CoW, let me be your guide.
Thanks to the Chaos Trolls lots of our dudes died that shouldn't have. At least they didn't have sorcerers.
All in all, a nice victory though. It should give us hope in the ti-
Fuck that, hope has no place in this mod.
MR BONES SAYS, THE RIDE NEVER ENDS!
: ITZ COMING TO KRAUTLAND AS WELL.
Ominous. To say the least.
And the first rape gangs has been sighted coming down from the north.
Behold ITZ in all it's glory. Averland shall be the first to feel the machete.
Their cities are undermanned and, knowing imperial politics, not many will bother sending help either. I can see us having a southern border with the Orks in ~20 turns.
Thus a desperate measure is undertaken. If we are caught by chaos rape gangs in the north and orkish ones in the south, not to mention the rest of the monstrosities in the east, we'll be facing the worst ITZ has to offer.
START GATHERING THE MEN.
A FEARSOME ARMY SHALL BE ASSEMBLED TO MARCH TO STRIKE NORTH, BEFORE THE RUSSIANS FULLY GATHER AND COMMIT THEIR ENDLESS HORDES.
POTATO SHALL TAKE THE FIGHT TO ITS ENEMIES. GLORY TO POTATO.
RUSSIAN AGGRESSION SHALL BE MET AND DESTROYED ONCE AND FOR ALL. THE POTATO EAGLE BANNER SHALL FLY OVER THE RUINS OF THEIR CITIES AND THE GRAVES OF THEIR ARMIES. NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE SUFFER BENEATH THE MACHETES OF THE RAPE GANGS.
The Russian preparations are accelerating. Urslo shall be the first battlefield in this glorious campaign.
And more forces are coming down still.
Meanwhile in the south, the Ork WAAAAGH has bypassed Averland and aimed for Nuln and the Dwarven Karaks.
The capital of Altdorf is their primary target.
The odds are stacked against the Krauts.
Even in Nordland there have been sightings of huge ork hordes raping and pillaging. This is the darkest hour of mankind.
But even when all hope seems lost a faint glimmer of light shines through the blackness of ITZ. Even though the Orks run unchecked in the south, the Great Satan shall not be allowed to do the same.
And our first challenge has been brought before us. Vardek Crom, a legendary rapist from the northernmost Wastes and his minions have assembled.
DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF POTATOLAND.
And the vampires are also getting uppity. Krautland is so fucked.
Cleve was right.
ITZ WAITS FOR NO MAN.
And Averland was not bypassed after all. The machetes are out.
Back at the northern front, even greater concentrations of chaos forces are reported amassing.
And now we have arrived at a crossroads.
Chaos forces occupy both the north and the west, having great forces deployed in both locations. We shall need to focus on one front and prioritize on the other. And by that I mean focus our elite forces, the initial armies brought north in on front and reinforce them from the lands seized, while bring in secondary armies to hold against incursions from the other front.
So, what will it be?
1. Strike at the West
2. Strike at the North
WHERE WITCHERS DARE
While the Krauts get elite Italian mercenaries and armored orks, Potatoland gets deserters. Great.
They could always be used as cannon fodder. They are pretty cheap to recruit and maintain too.
But the rape gang that escaped after their fellows were slaughtered near Praag has been seen heading towards the south, to the city of Pskov most likely.
The Ruskies are tripping balls it seems.
BUT A BUNCH OF CHAOS RAPE GANG LSD ADDICTS ARE THE LEAST OF OUR PROBLEMS NOW.
Fuck this, they are on their own.
BATTLE OF PSKOV
Here we go again.
Hopefully the Streltsy will be able to thin them out enough for most of our army to survive intact. I have plans for them.
The horde starts moving, raising clouds of dust.
Typical hussar pre-battle maneuvers.
And the boomsticks get to work.
I find it weird that they use double-line volleys but not triple ones. Oh well.
Here comes the diversity.
The hussars prepare to charge while another wing moves around to assume flanking positions.
Man, beast and potato meet in the field.
The initial charge only managed to kill a single bloodcrusher and a handful of knights. The odds are even worse at melee range so we pull the bros back.
The Knights give chase, eager to rape.
But end up getting rammed in the rear.
And then surrounded. Hopefully we can destroy them this way.
The Streltsy fire one last volley at point blank range. Lots of russians get led straight in the face and topple down. Time for the axes to come out.
The Chaos Trolls charge through the tight ranks of a pike formation and almost manage to shatter it, scattering the men. Even with the Kreml Guard coming against them they keep smashing everyone flat.
And the Knights are buying the farm.
The Bloodcrushers also lose a lot of their number trying to fuck with the infantry and decide pull out. The axemen start tripping them on their way out.
The musketeers are ordered to deploy on the backs of the enemy.
They are charged by the Knights. Observe the beginnings of the enemy rout further back.
The few Marauders that retain the will to fight are soon robbed of it.
The Hussars get to work surrounding and cutting off the remaining enemy forces, slaughtering them piecemeal.
The Axemen don't remain idle either.
Even the pikemen start popping moles on their own.
Another chaos warlord brought down.
The only enemy force remaining on the field are the Chaos Trolls.
Who very much refuse to die. Watch the potato spearman flying in the background.
Welcome to CoW, let me be your guide.
Thanks to the Chaos Trolls lots of our dudes died that shouldn't have. At least they didn't have sorcerers.
All in all, a nice victory though. It should give us hope in the ti-
Fuck that, hope has no place in this mod.
MR BONES SAYS, THE RIDE NEVER ENDS!
Ominous. To say the least.
And the first rape gangs has been sighted coming down from the north.
Behold ITZ in all it's glory. Averland shall be the first to feel the machete.
Their cities are undermanned and, knowing imperial politics, not many will bother sending help either. I can see us having a southern border with the Orks in ~20 turns.
Thus a desperate measure is undertaken. If we are caught by chaos rape gangs in the north and orkish ones in the south, not to mention the rest of the monstrosities in the east, we'll be facing the worst ITZ has to offer.
START GATHERING THE MEN.
A FEARSOME ARMY SHALL BE ASSEMBLED TO MARCH TO STRIKE NORTH, BEFORE THE RUSSIANS FULLY GATHER AND COMMIT THEIR ENDLESS HORDES.
POTATO SHALL TAKE THE FIGHT TO ITS ENEMIES. GLORY TO POTATO.
RUSSIAN AGGRESSION SHALL BE MET AND DESTROYED ONCE AND FOR ALL. THE POTATO EAGLE BANNER SHALL FLY OVER THE RUINS OF THEIR CITIES AND THE GRAVES OF THEIR ARMIES. NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE SUFFER BENEATH THE MACHETES OF THE RAPE GANGS.
The Russian preparations are accelerating. Urslo shall be the first battlefield in this glorious campaign.
And more forces are coming down still.
Meanwhile in the south, the Ork WAAAAGH has bypassed Averland and aimed for Nuln and the Dwarven Karaks.
The capital of Altdorf is their primary target.
The odds are stacked against the Krauts.
Even in Nordland there have been sightings of huge ork hordes raping and pillaging. This is the darkest hour of mankind.
But even when all hope seems lost a faint glimmer of light shines through the blackness of ITZ. Even though the Orks run unchecked in the south, the Great Satan shall not be allowed to do the same.
And our first challenge has been brought before us. Vardek Crom, a legendary rapist from the northernmost Wastes and his minions have assembled.
DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF POTATOLAND.
And the vampires are also getting uppity. Krautland is so fucked.
Cleve was right.
ITZ WAITS FOR NO MAN.
And Averland was not bypassed after all. The machetes are out.
Back at the northern front, even greater concentrations of chaos forces are reported amassing.
And now we have arrived at a crossroads.
Chaos forces occupy both the north and the west, having great forces deployed in both locations. We shall need to focus on one front and prioritize on the other. And by that I mean focus our elite forces, the initial armies brought north in on front and reinforce them from the lands seized, while bring in secondary armies to hold against incursions from the other front.
So, what will it be?
1. Strike at the West
2. Strike at the North
Strike north!
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
Go west.
Also, more plox.
Also, more plox.
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 1,182
Would seem like going west would be best to clean up the current landmass before heading north, so west. Unless the cities to the North are overwhelmingly their powerbase, then pop up there and cut off the head.
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