Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
They never accept ransoms.
Most of the chaos warriors and Marauders come from the Kurgan and Hung tribes, who are more like Huns and Mongols respectively. The Norse form only a minor contribution.
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In Progress Call of Warhammer: horrible raep edition
- Thread starter Corporate_Jew_Master
- Start date
They never accept ransoms.
Most of the chaos warriors and Marauders come from the Kurgan and Hung tribes, who are more like Huns and Mongols respectively. The Norse form only a minor contribution.
eklektyk
Erudite
i wonder how much RAEP<tm> u ccan endure ...
anyways keep 'em coming
anyways keep 'em coming
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
THE TWIN BATTLES OF PRAAG, MAJOR BATTLE UPDATE #2:
Defenders of Potato
SECOND BATTLE OF PRAAG
A hero's death.
Defenders of Potato
Michael of Praag and his troops march out to engage the chaos host under Loftsson the Anally Pained.
Whose army includes the bloodletters and the juggernauts.
The terrain is neither good nor bad for our hussars, but that means that their heavy cavalry will be even more disadvantaged on those slopes. We order the Ukranians to fix sharpened stakes in front of them to halt a premature cavalry charge by our enemies.
The Winged Lancers are equally distributed to the flanks, 300 of them on each side. The infantry takes the center as usual.
As the battle commences, the hussars maneuver on the slopes overlooking the field, to form up there and prepare for any charges on the flanks of the enemy.
The hussars on the right flank do the same.
The glorious defenders of Potato.
Versus the ignorant russian rapist hordes.
The Chaos host becomes disordered as it begins to ponderously plodder forward.
ITZ is strong within this army.
As the horde begins to charge, the Ukranians retreat behind the infantry line, where they will continue offering fire support.
After a victorious engagement with the russian light cavalry, the hussars are ordered to withdraw in the face of the galloping chosen knights of KHORNE.
And the hussars on the left flank charge the russian marauders, skewering dozens on their lances.
And are then ordered to withdraw.
On the other side of the field the Kreml Guard engage the last of the chaos light horse who are soon flanked by the charging winged lancers. There were no survivors.
But troubling developments are in motion at the infantry battle. The Bloodletters engage the pikemen, who unless support comes soon, will be slaughtered and cause the line to break.
Even more concerning is the charge of the Bloodcrushers upon the second Kreml Guard regiment that claimed more than a hundred lives (!). The infantry battle is going sour.
Despite the grim odds, the hussars valiantly charge at the mutated former russian nuclear plant workers, hoping to carry the day on their lances.
Another unit of lancers fall upon the heavily armored chosen of KHORNE. But they know they are doomed in the face of such a foe.
HUSSARIA NIE GINIE.
More proud potato riders fall upon the foe with cries of fury and hate. Sabers out, they begin to duel with the heavy knights of chaos, russians armored in fiendish full plate and wielding swords bigger than the malign ruinous popamole artifact, the Box of X.
As the marauders on the left flank break in the face of a determined hussar assault, the infantry begin to envelop the centre of the enemy, opening yet another front of attack against the feared bloodletters.
Another hussar charge succeeds in scattering the heavy chaos knights who cannot fathom how a simple defender of Potato can have such inhuman courage in the face of Russian might.
The Hussars succeed in routing the left flank as well, leading to an even further envelopment and Michael of Praag himself leads the charge against the Chosen of KHORNE.
The battle now enters a very brutal stage as the elite axemen of Praag face the anointed warriors of the Blood God.
The Lancers now run the chaos axe throwers through, routing the russians in one glorious charge.
Despite their heavy losses, they continue to fight against the inhuman knights of KHORNE.
And the Bloodletters are now surrounded by a wall of pikes and halberds. Slowly but surely, they begin to fall.
There are now but a handful of russians remaining, but they do not rout.
Until a brave Hussar defeated their general in single combat.
And his bodyguard resolves to fight to the death.
And the day is ours once again despite horrendous losses among the Hussars and the Kreml axemen.
Never forget the brave patriots who so willingly gave their lives for Potato.
Whose army includes the bloodletters and the juggernauts.
The terrain is neither good nor bad for our hussars, but that means that their heavy cavalry will be even more disadvantaged on those slopes. We order the Ukranians to fix sharpened stakes in front of them to halt a premature cavalry charge by our enemies.
The Winged Lancers are equally distributed to the flanks, 300 of them on each side. The infantry takes the center as usual.
As the battle commences, the hussars maneuver on the slopes overlooking the field, to form up there and prepare for any charges on the flanks of the enemy.
The hussars on the right flank do the same.
The glorious defenders of Potato.
Versus the ignorant russian rapist hordes.
The Chaos host becomes disordered as it begins to ponderously plodder forward.
ITZ is strong within this army.
As the horde begins to charge, the Ukranians retreat behind the infantry line, where they will continue offering fire support.
After a victorious engagement with the russian light cavalry, the hussars are ordered to withdraw in the face of the galloping chosen knights of KHORNE.
And the hussars on the left flank charge the russian marauders, skewering dozens on their lances.
And are then ordered to withdraw.
On the other side of the field the Kreml Guard engage the last of the chaos light horse who are soon flanked by the charging winged lancers. There were no survivors.
But troubling developments are in motion at the infantry battle. The Bloodletters engage the pikemen, who unless support comes soon, will be slaughtered and cause the line to break.
Even more concerning is the charge of the Bloodcrushers upon the second Kreml Guard regiment that claimed more than a hundred lives (!). The infantry battle is going sour.
Despite the grim odds, the hussars valiantly charge at the mutated former russian nuclear plant workers, hoping to carry the day on their lances.
Another unit of lancers fall upon the heavily armored chosen of KHORNE. But they know they are doomed in the face of such a foe.
HUSSARIA NIE GINIE.
More proud potato riders fall upon the foe with cries of fury and hate. Sabers out, they begin to duel with the heavy knights of chaos, russians armored in fiendish full plate and wielding swords bigger than the malign ruinous popamole artifact, the Box of X.
As the marauders on the left flank break in the face of a determined hussar assault, the infantry begin to envelop the centre of the enemy, opening yet another front of attack against the feared bloodletters.
Another hussar charge succeeds in scattering the heavy chaos knights who cannot fathom how a simple defender of Potato can have such inhuman courage in the face of Russian might.
The Hussars succeed in routing the left flank as well, leading to an even further envelopment and Michael of Praag himself leads the charge against the Chosen of KHORNE.
The battle now enters a very brutal stage as the elite axemen of Praag face the anointed warriors of the Blood God.
The Lancers now run the chaos axe throwers through, routing the russians in one glorious charge.
Despite their heavy losses, they continue to fight against the inhuman knights of KHORNE.
And the Bloodletters are now surrounded by a wall of pikes and halberds. Slowly but surely, they begin to fall.
There are now but a handful of russians remaining, but they do not rout.
Until a brave Hussar defeated their general in single combat.
And his bodyguard resolves to fight to the death.
And the day is ours once again despite horrendous losses among the Hussars and the Kreml axemen.
Never forget the brave patriots who so willingly gave their lives for Potato. SECOND BATTLE OF PRAAG
A hero's death.
Pashenko and his army prepare to face the second chaos army, one with no daemons in it but a lot of heavily armored chaos elite.
This will be hell for our hussars.
They are all positioned on the far right flank, due to the difficulties in terrain.
This time we will go to them. The Kislevites are not cowards. The Sons of Potato are true men with brave hearts and stout arms and they will take the fight to enemy proudly.
Victory or Death.
The Hussars move in to support, led by Pashenko himself.
The horde begins to march as well.
The pikemen are ordered to form up double-time in the face of the approaching russians.
The Ukranians will be placed behind the infantry.
A hasty charge by the chaos light cavalry is met with merciless potato fury and a wall of sharpened pikes and fails abysmally.
The Ukranians open fire on the onrushing chaos elite.
And the Chekists engage their hated foe.
A Hussar charge lances the knights from behind, killing many.
But more Knights wheel around and fall upon the brave Ukranians, who instead of routing take out their axes and shout with manly virtue
*BANAL*
*SHIT*
*BORING*
The Hussars also arrive in time to catch the Knights in the back, thus quickly slaughtering them all.
But their heavy infantry throws all it's might on the center, causing ours to fall back in turn.
The Kreml Axemen move in to support the pikemen who are being flanked by the chosen knights of KHORNE, but they will not be enough.
Meanwhile, on the other flank, the hussars withdraw to prepare for another charge.
And the chaos warlord is killed by a pikeman.
How Heroes Die
The entire right flank is compromised. The men are about to be slaughtered. Seeing the devastation unfold, Pashenko orders the impossible.
Although his men are brave and skilled in combat they are just that. Men not fueled by the ruinous powers of Chaos like the russians are nor as heavily armored and armed. But they charge their foes nevertheless.
As the impact of the charge throws the Khornates back, Pashenko orders his men to stand and fight and meet death like true potatoes, who have withstood chaos for untold centuries.
Heartened by his success and bravery, the men begin to fight harder and the Hussars themselves commit into a suicidal charge against the Knights of Chaos, to stall their charge as long as possible and to give the infantry a chance to reform.
The heroic Pashenko sacrifices himself in the heat of battle to push the elite russian troops back and save the lives of his men.
Vladimir Pashenko, never forget.
Drawing courage from his selfless act of bravery, the potato men begin to fight harder. The pikemen manage to form up in time to withstand the charge of the Khornate Knights, time bought with the lives of courageous hussars, who have been cut down to a man by the inhuman might of the russians.
The Hussaria charge again, this time to avenge the deaths of their comrades. And this time there will be no withdrawal. The Knights are caught between their lances and the pikes of the infantry. Only death awaits them.
The horde is now outmaneuvered, caught between the hussars and the reformed infantry, their cavalry either dead or trapped. The battle turns extremely bloody as the defenders of potato, drawing courage from the glorious death of their leader, fall upon the heavily armored legions of chaos, giving no quarter and expecting none.
Soon the battle is won.
But it does not end there. Sabers out, the Hussars charge one last time, to slaughter the pathetic remnants of the now fleeing enemy army.
Out of a fearsome force of 2200 men only 23 remaining, a testament to the might of Potato and the bravery of comrade Pashenko.
TRIUMPH
This will be hell for our hussars.
They are all positioned on the far right flank, due to the difficulties in terrain.
This time we will go to them. The Kislevites are not cowards. The Sons of Potato are true men with brave hearts and stout arms and they will take the fight to enemy proudly.
Victory or Death.
The Hussars move in to support, led by Pashenko himself.
The horde begins to march as well.
The pikemen are ordered to form up double-time in the face of the approaching russians.
The Ukranians will be placed behind the infantry.
A hasty charge by the chaos light cavalry is met with merciless potato fury and a wall of sharpened pikes and fails abysmally.
The Ukranians open fire on the onrushing chaos elite.
And the Chekists engage their hated foe.
A Hussar charge lances the knights from behind, killing many.
But more Knights wheel around and fall upon the brave Ukranians, who instead of routing take out their axes and shout with manly virtue
*BANAL*
*SHIT*
*BORING*
The Hussars also arrive in time to catch the Knights in the back, thus quickly slaughtering them all.
But their heavy infantry throws all it's might on the center, causing ours to fall back in turn.
The Kreml Axemen move in to support the pikemen who are being flanked by the chosen knights of KHORNE, but they will not be enough.
Meanwhile, on the other flank, the hussars withdraw to prepare for another charge.
And the chaos warlord is killed by a pikeman.
How Heroes Die
The entire right flank is compromised. The men are about to be slaughtered. Seeing the devastation unfold, Pashenko orders the impossible.
Although his men are brave and skilled in combat they are just that. Men not fueled by the ruinous powers of Chaos like the russians are nor as heavily armored and armed. But they charge their foes nevertheless.
As the impact of the charge throws the Khornates back, Pashenko orders his men to stand and fight and meet death like true potatoes, who have withstood chaos for untold centuries.
Heartened by his success and bravery, the men begin to fight harder and the Hussars themselves commit into a suicidal charge against the Knights of Chaos, to stall their charge as long as possible and to give the infantry a chance to reform.
The heroic Pashenko sacrifices himself in the heat of battle to push the elite russian troops back and save the lives of his men.
Vladimir Pashenko, never forget.
Drawing courage from his selfless act of bravery, the potato men begin to fight harder. The pikemen manage to form up in time to withstand the charge of the Khornate Knights, time bought with the lives of courageous hussars, who have been cut down to a man by the inhuman might of the russians.
The Hussaria charge again, this time to avenge the deaths of their comrades. And this time there will be no withdrawal. The Knights are caught between their lances and the pikes of the infantry. Only death awaits them.
The horde is now outmaneuvered, caught between the hussars and the reformed infantry, their cavalry either dead or trapped. The battle turns extremely bloody as the defenders of potato, drawing courage from the glorious death of their leader, fall upon the heavily armored legions of chaos, giving no quarter and expecting none.
Soon the battle is won.
But it does not end there. Sabers out, the Hussars charge one last time, to slaughter the pathetic remnants of the now fleeing enemy army.
Out of a fearsome force of 2200 men only 23 remaining, a testament to the might of Potato and the bravery of comrade Pashenko.
TRIUMPH
Holy fuck. And I thought WFB is a not-THAT-retarded Warhammer.
This game gives an entire new meaning to "retarded", for fuck's sake.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Holy fuck. And I thought WFB is a not-THAT-retarded Warhammer.
This game gives an entire new meaning to "retarded", for fuck's sake.
If you look into Warhammer fantasy lore, you'll find far, far more ridiculous fluff and blatant copypasting from the real world. Nippon, Cathay and the Roma Empire being just the tip of the iceberg.
Bah, Cathay and Nippon and Roman Empire are present in 80% of fantasy worlds, and 9 times out of 10 are called just that, too.
But using a 20 century commie russia slang word, how much more retarded it could get? How about Prodrazverstka, Tachanka and Bronepoyezd units while they are there? It's like that barony of Kingisepp in CK2, except that Paradox was just ignorant whereas this is intentional. Games Derpshop gonna derp.
While they tried to make the Empire quite realistic, grounded and plausible (a somewhat more effective and centralised Holy Roman Empire), they went quite retarded with the other human factions (King Arthur rip-offs with medieval tech not getting their asses kicked by 17th century Germans).
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
Remember comrade Pashenko!
: x: x: x
: x: x: x
Yes they should just call it Opricznina... but what Eastern Occidentophiles don't get it that for Westerners we all riding the bears. Hence Kislev being lulzy melange of All Slavic Eastern European nations in early modern Age.
https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Опричнина
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Since I love late medieval russia and poland military wise, Kislev was always the obvious choice for me. But stuff like the Chekists and Thirty-Years-War era germans using heavy knights really bother me. Warhammer fantasy also became more neglected as GW focused on 40k more and more until fantasy battles is pretty much on life support right now.
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 1,182
Bump for next page glory.
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
DARK DAYS AHEAD
The Tzar begins constructing the siege equipment necessary to storm the bastions of Selthis Lysk, the darkfag capital.
While his heir moves with a smaller army towards Stromstaad, to end the darkfag presence in the sea of Claws once and for all.
Next turn the assault is ready to commence.
Although decimated, the sorceresses are still a force to be reckoned with.
STORM OF SELTHIS LYSK
The Kreml Guard are to carry the walls with the two massive siege towers while the Ukranians cover them with their bows. The potato linemen will then advance inside the fortress once the gatehouse has been seized.
And our very large cavalry force is split between the main gate in different directions should the faggots inside decide to sally forth and engage us. Not very likely, giving their cowardly untermensch genes, but the Tzar is a cautious commander.
The corsairs occupy the east walls
while the shade crossbowmen the west, accompanied by the sorceresses.
The Ukranians are ordered to open fire upon them, to keep their heads down and kill the sorceresses.
But the magic women prove to be resistant to arrow fire.
And despite their losses, the Kreml Guard soldiers on, showing once again the indomitable spirit of Potato.
The sorceresses flee towards the main gatehouse.
And the towers are at the walls.
SOON WE SHALL BRING THEM POTATO.
The sorceresses prove to be immune to missile fire. The Ukranians focus on the shades and corsairs instead.
And parts of the darkfag force begins to move from the main square to reinforce the walls.
FOR POTATOOOOOOOOO
KILL THE FAGGOTS WITH YOUR AXES, KILL THEM WITH YOUR HATE, WITH YOUR FISTS AND WITH YOUR KNIVES.
BUT ABOVE ALL KILL THEM WITH PLEASURE.
DEATH TO THE ELVEN UNTERMENSCHEN
The sorceresses begin to move towards the axemen.
AND FALL BY THE AXE.
IN THE DAYS OF POTATO, MEN FEARED THE AXEMAN.
And on the east walls the corsairs begin to fall.
Sensing that the walls are about to be carried, the infantry march forth.
But trouble begins brewing on the east walls. Faggot spearmen flank the Kreml Guardsmen but they too begin to understand why men FEARED THE AXEMAN.
The shades begin to fire upon the infantry from the gatehouse. The Ukranians retaliate in kind.
The spearmen panic and flee before THE AXEMAN.
http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/s675/MrMaus/kingdoms2013-02-2220-14-26-38_zps00359abd.png[/IMG[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]But more faggots in their melonhead helmets begin to arrive.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][IMG]http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/s675/MrMaus/kingdoms2013-02-2220-14-57-61_zpsc73881df.png
The Ukranians suffer heavy casualties, but keep fighting.
More faggots arrive to flank the Guardsmen, but they only manage to die shamefully, wetting their elven diapers.
The corsairs don't manage to accomplish much either.
And the shades are all dead, Ukranian marksmanship proving too much for their limited untermensch abilities.
The corsairs are now being slaughtered wholesale.
The spearmen rout as well and now the corsairs know that they are about to die.
Yet another spear regiment ascends the tower.
But are soon forced to flee by the ferocity of THE AXEMAN.
GLORY TO POTATO.
CLEANSE THE CITY.
The darkfags know that they are about to suffer horrible rape at the hands of the Tzar.
And the fighting in the city commences.
The faggots are now being pushed towards the main square.
Their doom has befallen them.
The fighting is the fiercest wherever the black guard is deployed,the only darkfags worthy of respect CENSORED BY THE CHEKA, BY THE GRACE OF POTATO
There is nowhere to retreat as the darkfags are forced into a corner.
Suddenly, a spear regiment flanks part of our force and the pikemen make a sharp turn to engage them.
STAND FIRM.
And now the darkfags will now rape.
BOW DOWN TO THE AXEMAN
The fighting continues to rape unabated as the untermenschen now die by the droves.
The battle is clearly won. The casualties are understandable, considering the infantry were sent to storm a well defended castle. But potato bravery once again wins the day.
The city is cleansed by the darkfag plague. Women get dragged out into the street, raped then having their heads crushed like skulls of pig. Lots of untermenschen are impaled or hunted down through the streets by the hussars. No survivors.
A large darkfag army appears out of nowhere to attack the Tzarevitch and his smaller army. TO ARMS TO ARMS
Sorcerers, heavy knights, veteran infantry, temple executioners, black guard, witch elves...the Tzarevitch and his small army is doomed. Without adequate cavalry support and a small infantry line, the sorceresses shall have a field day.
THE TZAREVITCH' STAND
Brave potatoes all
The darkfags decide to attack under the cover of heavy fog. This will be bad for us.
The Ukranians fix stakes to combat any cavalry charges, but it is a forlorn hope, for they know the sorceresses shall be the hammer of the day.
The hussar are deployed on one flank, the Tzarevitch and his bear bodyguard on the other.
And the faggot legions march.
The sorcerous barrage begins, the stalwart Ukranians enduring it and returning fire, shouting encouragement to one another.
Many die.
The Hussaria charge the crossbowmen, killing scores of them.
They then pull back quickly, away from the closing spear regiments of the enemy.
Despite the horrible deaths of many of their comrades by the foul popamole magic of the faggots, the spearmen stand bravely in the face of the elven charge, furiously retaliating.
The Ukranians keep suffering the attention of the sorceresses.
The Hussar charge the cold one knights, winning despite the fearsome beasts and their veteran riders.
And the Tzarevitch is surrounded by overwhelming odds as most of the faggot cavalry falls upon him.
Despite the grim odds, more heroic deeds shall be done this day.
The Hussars charge the sorceresses, making an opening through the scores of enemy infantry and cold ones. Even if the day is lost, even if all brave potatoes die, the sorceresses shall not live to hinder our vengeance.
The suicidal charge succeeds and the hussars quickly withdraw in the face of the arrival of the knights, to reform and fall into battle once more.
The Tzarevitch, reinforced by the returning hussars, charges the enemy cavalry, seeking death and glory.
Whatever this day may bring we can say that these men fought like real defenders of potato, in the face of impossible odds.
The infantry is winning the battle, causing heavy casualties at the enemy's elite regiments, but they are now flanked and will soon be surrounded.
And the Tzarevitch bravely meets his fate.
The infantry is now in full danger of being surrounded, so their captains order the retreat, to salvage as much as they can from this defeat.
The day is lost, the Tzarevitch dead and the brave hussars killed to a man.
But the enemy suffered extensive casualties to his elite forces and heavy cavalry, not to mention the death of their sorcerers.
WE WILL RETURN AND DROWN THEM IN THEIR OWN BLOOD. POTATO SHALL NOT BE DENIED.
As our forces pull back, more troubling news reach the front. A new Chaos Invasion bypasses the fortresses of Praag and Ostrosk by moving through a secret passage in the mountains.
Vinnskor is abandoned to reinforce Zoishenk and the survivors from the Tzarevitch' army are en route to Selthis Lysk.
The Tzar is now putting together a new army to reinforce Zoishenk then move towards the darkfags to avenge the death of his son.
Our armies in the east are still in need of retraining after their ordeal against the KHORNATE russians.
And then even more troubling news. Two Chaos Fleets bearing reinforcements arrive at the port of Selthis Lysk.
Screamers, horrors, this shall be a terrible battle.
POTATO PROTECT US.
Their armies in the east are equally dangerous, with many contigents of heavily armored warriors.
But then, good news finally arrive. The Ice Mages have arrived to help us in the face of ITZ.
They are ordered to Bolgasgrad, to bolster the defences of the east.
And the army marches out of Zoishenk. Having fewer missile troops than usual and a lot of hussars and infantry, we shall need to move offensively. And if possible avoid heavy casualties to tackle the second chaos army should the need arise.
Dark days are ahead. The east is still recuperating and the northwest is undermanned in the face of a multitude of foes. And the ability of the darkfags to deploy more large armies with sorcerers out of nowhere is highly suspicious.
: x We must strike hard, fast and decisively. Potato shall endure this storm.
The Tzar begins constructing the siege equipment necessary to storm the bastions of Selthis Lysk, the darkfag capital.
While his heir moves with a smaller army towards Stromstaad, to end the darkfag presence in the sea of Claws once and for all.
Next turn the assault is ready to commence.
Although decimated, the sorceresses are still a force to be reckoned with.
STORM OF SELTHIS LYSK
The Kreml Guard are to carry the walls with the two massive siege towers while the Ukranians cover them with their bows. The potato linemen will then advance inside the fortress once the gatehouse has been seized.
And our very large cavalry force is split between the main gate in different directions should the faggots inside decide to sally forth and engage us. Not very likely, giving their cowardly untermensch genes, but the Tzar is a cautious commander.
The corsairs occupy the east walls
while the shade crossbowmen the west, accompanied by the sorceresses.
The Ukranians are ordered to open fire upon them, to keep their heads down and kill the sorceresses.
But the magic women prove to be resistant to arrow fire.
And despite their losses, the Kreml Guard soldiers on, showing once again the indomitable spirit of Potato.
The sorceresses flee towards the main gatehouse.
And the towers are at the walls.
SOON WE SHALL BRING THEM POTATO.
The sorceresses prove to be immune to missile fire. The Ukranians focus on the shades and corsairs instead.
And parts of the darkfag force begins to move from the main square to reinforce the walls.
FOR POTATOOOOOOOOO
KILL THE FAGGOTS WITH YOUR AXES, KILL THEM WITH YOUR HATE, WITH YOUR FISTS AND WITH YOUR KNIVES.
BUT ABOVE ALL KILL THEM WITH PLEASURE.
DEATH TO THE ELVEN UNTERMENSCHEN
The sorceresses begin to move towards the axemen.
AND FALL BY THE AXE.
IN THE DAYS OF POTATO, MEN FEARED THE AXEMAN.
And on the east walls the corsairs begin to fall.
Sensing that the walls are about to be carried, the infantry march forth.
But trouble begins brewing on the east walls. Faggot spearmen flank the Kreml Guardsmen but they too begin to understand why men FEARED THE AXEMAN.
The shades begin to fire upon the infantry from the gatehouse. The Ukranians retaliate in kind.
The spearmen panic and flee before THE AXEMAN.
http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/s675/MrMaus/kingdoms2013-02-2220-14-26-38_zps00359abd.png[/IMG[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]But more faggots in their melonhead helmets begin to arrive.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][IMG]http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/s675/MrMaus/kingdoms2013-02-2220-14-57-61_zpsc73881df.png
The Ukranians suffer heavy casualties, but keep fighting.
More faggots arrive to flank the Guardsmen, but they only manage to die shamefully, wetting their elven diapers.
The corsairs don't manage to accomplish much either.
And the shades are all dead, Ukranian marksmanship proving too much for their limited untermensch abilities.
The corsairs are now being slaughtered wholesale.
The spearmen rout as well and now the corsairs know that they are about to die.
Yet another spear regiment ascends the tower.
But are soon forced to flee by the ferocity of THE AXEMAN.
GLORY TO POTATO.
CLEANSE THE CITY.
The darkfags know that they are about to suffer horrible rape at the hands of the Tzar.
And the fighting in the city commences.
The faggots are now being pushed towards the main square.
Their doom has befallen them.
The fighting is the fiercest wherever the black guard is deployed,
There is nowhere to retreat as the darkfags are forced into a corner.
Suddenly, a spear regiment flanks part of our force and the pikemen make a sharp turn to engage them.
STAND FIRM.
And now the darkfags will now rape.
BOW DOWN TO THE AXEMAN
The fighting continues to rape unabated as the untermenschen now die by the droves.
The battle is clearly won. The casualties are understandable, considering the infantry were sent to storm a well defended castle. But potato bravery once again wins the day.
The city is cleansed by the darkfag plague. Women get dragged out into the street, raped then having their heads crushed like skulls of pig. Lots of untermenschen are impaled or hunted down through the streets by the hussars. No survivors.
A large darkfag army appears out of nowhere to attack the Tzarevitch and his smaller army. TO ARMS TO ARMS
Sorcerers, heavy knights, veteran infantry, temple executioners, black guard, witch elves...the Tzarevitch and his small army is doomed. Without adequate cavalry support and a small infantry line, the sorceresses shall have a field day.
THE TZAREVITCH' STAND
Brave potatoes all
The darkfags decide to attack under the cover of heavy fog. This will be bad for us.
The Ukranians fix stakes to combat any cavalry charges, but it is a forlorn hope, for they know the sorceresses shall be the hammer of the day.
The hussar are deployed on one flank, the Tzarevitch and his bear bodyguard on the other.
And the faggot legions march.
The sorcerous barrage begins, the stalwart Ukranians enduring it and returning fire, shouting encouragement to one another.
Many die.
The Hussaria charge the crossbowmen, killing scores of them.
They then pull back quickly, away from the closing spear regiments of the enemy.
Despite the horrible deaths of many of their comrades by the foul popamole magic of the faggots, the spearmen stand bravely in the face of the elven charge, furiously retaliating.
The Ukranians keep suffering the attention of the sorceresses.
The Hussar charge the cold one knights, winning despite the fearsome beasts and their veteran riders.
And the Tzarevitch is surrounded by overwhelming odds as most of the faggot cavalry falls upon him.
Despite the grim odds, more heroic deeds shall be done this day.
The Hussars charge the sorceresses, making an opening through the scores of enemy infantry and cold ones. Even if the day is lost, even if all brave potatoes die, the sorceresses shall not live to hinder our vengeance.
The suicidal charge succeeds and the hussars quickly withdraw in the face of the arrival of the knights, to reform and fall into battle once more.
The Tzarevitch, reinforced by the returning hussars, charges the enemy cavalry, seeking death and glory.
Whatever this day may bring we can say that these men fought like real defenders of potato, in the face of impossible odds.
The infantry is winning the battle, causing heavy casualties at the enemy's elite regiments, but they are now flanked and will soon be surrounded.
And the Tzarevitch bravely meets his fate.
The infantry is now in full danger of being surrounded, so their captains order the retreat, to salvage as much as they can from this defeat.
The day is lost, the Tzarevitch dead and the brave hussars killed to a man.
But the enemy suffered extensive casualties to his elite forces and heavy cavalry, not to mention the death of their sorcerers.
WE WILL RETURN AND DROWN THEM IN THEIR OWN BLOOD. POTATO SHALL NOT BE DENIED.
As our forces pull back, more troubling news reach the front. A new Chaos Invasion bypasses the fortresses of Praag and Ostrosk by moving through a secret passage in the mountains.
Vinnskor is abandoned to reinforce Zoishenk and the survivors from the Tzarevitch' army are en route to Selthis Lysk.
The Tzar is now putting together a new army to reinforce Zoishenk then move towards the darkfags to avenge the death of his son.
Our armies in the east are still in need of retraining after their ordeal against the KHORNATE russians.
And then even more troubling news. Two Chaos Fleets bearing reinforcements arrive at the port of Selthis Lysk.
Screamers, horrors, this shall be a terrible battle.
POTATO PROTECT US.
Their armies in the east are equally dangerous, with many contigents of heavily armored warriors.
But then, good news finally arrive. The Ice Mages have arrived to help us in the face of ITZ.
They are ordered to Bolgasgrad, to bolster the defences of the east.
And the army marches out of Zoishenk. Having fewer missile troops than usual and a lot of hussars and infantry, we shall need to move offensively. And if possible avoid heavy casualties to tackle the second chaos army should the need arise.
Dark days are ahead. The east is still recuperating and the northwest is undermanned in the face of a multitude of foes. And the ability of the darkfags to deploy more large armies with sorcerers out of nowhere is highly suspicious.
: x We must strike hard, fast and decisively. Potato shall endure this storm.
hoverdog
dog that is hovering, Wastelands Interactive
and remove the Tzeentch!
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
Remember the Tzaretvitch! Remember Peshenko!
Remember the honored dead!
Defenders of Potato, Forward! For God! For the Tsar! FOR POTATO!
: x : x : x
Remember the honored dead!
Defenders of Potato, Forward! For God! For the Tsar! FOR POTATO!
: x : x : x
Cassidy
Arcane
ITZ COMIN'
Potato must be STRONG! agaisnt the infinite hordes of Kaos Undivide!
REMOVE HERETIC, KEBAB AND MUTANT FROM THE PREMISES!
KISLEV GREATTST COUNTREY
: x : x : x
Potato must be STRONG! agaisnt the infinite hordes of Kaos Undivide!
REMOVE HERETIC, KEBAB AND MUTANT FROM THE PREMISES!
KISLEV GREATTST COUNTREY
: x : x : x
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
A NEW GOLDEN AGE: GUARDIANS OF THE CLAY
We engage the first of the chaos armies.
Who has a variety of daemons, beasts, russians and other horrors. Flamers are deadly at medium range and screamers are some of the worst daemons one can encounter. Because their animations can bug and make them invincible.
But thankfully they only have one unit of heavy knights, which will allow our hussars more freedom of movement than usual.
BATTLE OF POTATO VALLEY
Our formation is quite simple. The cavalry shall be split between the two flanks and the infantry shall form a long line, supported by the Ukranians.
The russians position their light cavalry and their flamers against our hussars, supported by the screamers in the far back.
May Potato give us strength.
The cavalry is ordered to deploy on the flank of the enemy line.
Russian marauders attempt to harass us but end up getting the ass end of the deal.
The Hussaria engages the enemy cavalry, causing them serious losses and forcing them to fall back on their infantry.
And then withdraw, one wing even managing to push out in the opposite direction and present a threat to their rear.
Then the heavy knights suffer their attention.
One wing of lancers withdraw but then another one charges the knights from another direction, while the hussars on their rear prepare to attack as well.
And if that wasn't enough the bear cavalry falls upon them as well.
Similar scenes play out on the eastern flank, only here the flamers have caused heavy losses to a lancer unit.
INTO THE FIRE, BRAVE DEFENDER OF POTATO. LEAVE NONE ALIVE.
The brave Hussaria are slaughtered, but not without causing the flamers heavy casualties and exposing their flank. In a valiant attempt to avenge their comrades, another unit of winged lancers jump valiantly into the fray.
These day, the russians learned fear. WINGED POTATOES, BRAVEST AND GREATEST WARRIORS AMONG ALL.
The pitiful russian mutants attempt to stall the charge with their foul sorcery.
HURRAH HURRAAAAAAAAAAAH
The infantry meanwhile engages the hated foe and the Ukranians begin plying their deadly trade.
And the enemy light cavalry is eradicated by the extremely superior hussars.
The pikemen hold the line bravely and continue their advance, slaying as they go.
The fighting is the thickest and bloodiest wherever the elite russian shock troops can be found.
The few surviving flamers, having routed in the face of the hussar charge and recently reformed, begin to fire upon the spearmen.
But like all brave potatoes, they hold and charge the abominations.
Then, tragedy strikes. Our brave general is dead.
With cries of hatred and anger, the potato legions double their effort and fall upon the enemy with twice as much fury.
And their efforts are soon rewarded with the death of the archenemy.
His men begin to break and the hussars sense this, commiting themselves into more glorious, near suicidal charges.
Then the screamers fall upon the rear of the Ukranians, who turn to face this new threat.
The bear cavalry advance to assist them.
As do the hussars, carrying today's victory upon their lances.
Soon the screamers are the only significant enemy force remaining on the field and are surrounded.
The Ogres themselves suffer heavy losses.
And rout.
The enemy is pursued across the battlefield.
Until only a handful manage to escape.
A lot of prisoners are caught, including 12 of the feared Chaos Ogres. They are all executed.
Our army however has suffered grevious losses as well and cannot hope to face the second chaos army.
Thus a hard decision is made. Zoishenk is abandoned and the army marches to Erengrad to replenish it's forces.
Next turn Vinnskor rebels and Chaos lays siege to Zoishenk.
Another army marches out of Kislev to assist in the battle to the north.
And Zoishenk is sacked by the russians, it's people suffering beneath the inhuman hordes.
But not all is lost. The Tzar himself marches to liberate his people and smash the Chaos Horde.
And the new Tzarevitch marches even further north to reclaim Vinnskor and begin a new campaign against the darkfag menace.
In his absence a chaos plague strikes Kislev as the winds of ITZ blow southwards, manufactured inside russian nuclear plants near the gate of chaos.
And Zoishenk is now besieged. We pray that success will crown this daring endeavor.
THE HIGHFAGS HAVE STOLEN OUR VENGEANCE FROM US. CURSE THE UNTERMENSCHEN AND THEIR EMO KIN.
And good news reach us from the south. The Krauts have repelled the Twilights from Castle Drakenhof.
The Tzarevitch reports that he has taken Vinnskor back for Potato and fortified it with a small garrison that can be reinforced from Selthis Vysk should the need arise.
THE LIBERATION OF ZOISHENK
The hated foe rushes out to meet us. And they also happen to have Chaos Sorcerers, the best sorcerer unit there is.
Due to a dev team based in Praag releasing their new Kossar Simulator game we have recently had a shortage in Ukranians. Thus we had to recruit some Highfag archers to bolster our army.
The chaos horde begins to advance.
Hoverrape.
We regroup our forces.
A few mortars would go a long way here, but sadly these things cost and with all the expenses lately we could not afford to field them.
Soon the line shall be ready.
And doom gets closer.
Highfags and Ukranians open fire upon the foe, focusing on the sorcerers.
Then the first sorcerous barrage begins. The potatoes shall have to endure it as much as possible until a chance appears for our hussars to charge the nuke-tossing russians.
And the battle begins.
The hussars attempt to create an opening for their brethren to attack the sorcerers.
While on the west flank we have surrounded their general.
A unit of knights slips through the battle line and attacks the Ukranians. Griffons are rerouted to assist.
And the heroic Kreml Guard slaughter their way through the marauders and onto the sorcerers, beating the hussars to it.
But not by a long shot.
Despite the furious charge and the axemen only 3 sorcerers have met their end so far.
Who manage to withdraw and continue unleashing their popamole fireballs. The Hussars pursue.
And the slaughter resumes.
Potato and russian axemen face each other in the open, man to man. The former begin to take the upper hand.
And the main infantry line continues to fight ferociously.
Soon only their general remains, who despite being surrounded, fells many a brave potato with his magic axe and daemonic strength.
One last sorcerer remains, who manages to fry a hussar before being brought down.
[IMG]http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/s675/MrMaus/kingdoms2013-02-2319-53-21-12_zps4802f18a.png[/IMG]
And the enemy general is soon killed.
A great rout occurs as the enemy attempt to reach the safety of their walls.
But to no avail.
Zoishenk is liberated and the storm is beaten. The western front is still in need of reinforcement though, if we are to hold it.
Our forces begin to regroup and a new recruitment program is set in motion.
The current situation.
And our economy soon begins to flourish again as many a potato are planted in the sacred soil of Kislev.
We send our spies to the north, where new Khornate forces appear to be massing.
Thankfully they are mostly made up of Marauders, so they'll be easy to handle should they come south.
A new expedition is financed to push the frontiers further north.
And the weakness of the Krauts begins apparent once more. If it were not for Potato they'd all be russian pleasure slaves now.
ITZ strikes Erengrad this time, decimating the forces stationed there. In other areas the infastracture has begun to develop very nicely, increasing our profits.
A norse village is now being besieged.
And is soon taken, leaving a token garrison behind to keep watch on the snowniggers.
Coupled with the massive population boom, expansion and development of our economy the Gross Domestic Potato has risen dramatically, allowing us to field more armies and fortify all of our cities extensively.
With our recent wealth we begin to contemplate the possibility of mounting an expedition against the russian holdings to the north.
A sizeable force is gathered and is tasked with seizing the yurts of the russians.
Women should be cooking potatoes, not killing russians.
ITZ strikes in Krautreich.
Why even bother.
Our force marches ever closer and the russians scramble to reinforce their city.
Using our immense wealth, we are able to buy Stromstaad from the Highfags.
Giving us access to another port on Norsca. When developed it will make us a lot of potato.
Krauts continue shitting their pants and eating cabbages. News at 11.
And it seems the Twilights recaptured Drakenhof. Were it not for potato they'd all be drowned in their own faggotry.
A great battle is about to occur in Urslo as the Khornates have gathered a sizeable force to defend it.
And suddenly a new invasion force appears, the first in many years.
SOUND THE HORNS OF BATTLE. WE MARCH TO WAR.
:kwanzania: : x
We engage the first of the chaos armies.
Who has a variety of daemons, beasts, russians and other horrors. Flamers are deadly at medium range and screamers are some of the worst daemons one can encounter. Because their animations can bug and make them invincible.
But thankfully they only have one unit of heavy knights, which will allow our hussars more freedom of movement than usual.
BATTLE OF POTATO VALLEY
Our formation is quite simple. The cavalry shall be split between the two flanks and the infantry shall form a long line, supported by the Ukranians.
The russians position their light cavalry and their flamers against our hussars, supported by the screamers in the far back.
May Potato give us strength.
The cavalry is ordered to deploy on the flank of the enemy line.
Russian marauders attempt to harass us but end up getting the ass end of the deal.
The Hussaria engages the enemy cavalry, causing them serious losses and forcing them to fall back on their infantry.
And then withdraw, one wing even managing to push out in the opposite direction and present a threat to their rear.
Then the heavy knights suffer their attention.
One wing of lancers withdraw but then another one charges the knights from another direction, while the hussars on their rear prepare to attack as well.
And if that wasn't enough the bear cavalry falls upon them as well.
Similar scenes play out on the eastern flank, only here the flamers have caused heavy losses to a lancer unit.
INTO THE FIRE, BRAVE DEFENDER OF POTATO. LEAVE NONE ALIVE.
The brave Hussaria are slaughtered, but not without causing the flamers heavy casualties and exposing their flank. In a valiant attempt to avenge their comrades, another unit of winged lancers jump valiantly into the fray.
These day, the russians learned fear. WINGED POTATOES, BRAVEST AND GREATEST WARRIORS AMONG ALL.
The pitiful russian mutants attempt to stall the charge with their foul sorcery.
HURRAH HURRAAAAAAAAAAAH
The infantry meanwhile engages the hated foe and the Ukranians begin plying their deadly trade.
And the enemy light cavalry is eradicated by the extremely superior hussars.
The pikemen hold the line bravely and continue their advance, slaying as they go.
The fighting is the thickest and bloodiest wherever the elite russian shock troops can be found.
The few surviving flamers, having routed in the face of the hussar charge and recently reformed, begin to fire upon the spearmen.
But like all brave potatoes, they hold and charge the abominations.
Then, tragedy strikes. Our brave general is dead.
With cries of hatred and anger, the potato legions double their effort and fall upon the enemy with twice as much fury.
And their efforts are soon rewarded with the death of the archenemy.
His men begin to break and the hussars sense this, commiting themselves into more glorious, near suicidal charges.
Then the screamers fall upon the rear of the Ukranians, who turn to face this new threat.
The bear cavalry advance to assist them.
As do the hussars, carrying today's victory upon their lances.
Soon the screamers are the only significant enemy force remaining on the field and are surrounded.
The Ogres themselves suffer heavy losses.
And rout.
The enemy is pursued across the battlefield.
Until only a handful manage to escape.
A lot of prisoners are caught, including 12 of the feared Chaos Ogres. They are all executed.
Our army however has suffered grevious losses as well and cannot hope to face the second chaos army.
Thus a hard decision is made. Zoishenk is abandoned and the army marches to Erengrad to replenish it's forces.
Next turn Vinnskor rebels and Chaos lays siege to Zoishenk.
Another army marches out of Kislev to assist in the battle to the north.
And Zoishenk is sacked by the russians, it's people suffering beneath the inhuman hordes.
But not all is lost. The Tzar himself marches to liberate his people and smash the Chaos Horde.
And the new Tzarevitch marches even further north to reclaim Vinnskor and begin a new campaign against the darkfag menace.
In his absence a chaos plague strikes Kislev as the winds of ITZ blow southwards, manufactured inside russian nuclear plants near the gate of chaos.
And Zoishenk is now besieged. We pray that success will crown this daring endeavor.
THE HIGHFAGS HAVE STOLEN OUR VENGEANCE FROM US. CURSE THE UNTERMENSCHEN AND THEIR EMO KIN.
And good news reach us from the south. The Krauts have repelled the Twilights from Castle Drakenhof.
The Tzarevitch reports that he has taken Vinnskor back for Potato and fortified it with a small garrison that can be reinforced from Selthis Vysk should the need arise.
THE LIBERATION OF ZOISHENK
The hated foe rushes out to meet us. And they also happen to have Chaos Sorcerers, the best sorcerer unit there is.
Due to a dev team based in Praag releasing their new Kossar Simulator game we have recently had a shortage in Ukranians. Thus we had to recruit some Highfag archers to bolster our army.
The chaos horde begins to advance.
Hoverrape.
We regroup our forces.
A few mortars would go a long way here, but sadly these things cost and with all the expenses lately we could not afford to field them.
Soon the line shall be ready.
And doom gets closer.
Highfags and Ukranians open fire upon the foe, focusing on the sorcerers.
Then the first sorcerous barrage begins. The potatoes shall have to endure it as much as possible until a chance appears for our hussars to charge the nuke-tossing russians.
And the battle begins.
The hussars attempt to create an opening for their brethren to attack the sorcerers.
While on the west flank we have surrounded their general.
A unit of knights slips through the battle line and attacks the Ukranians. Griffons are rerouted to assist.
And the heroic Kreml Guard slaughter their way through the marauders and onto the sorcerers, beating the hussars to it.
But not by a long shot.
Despite the furious charge and the axemen only 3 sorcerers have met their end so far.
Who manage to withdraw and continue unleashing their popamole fireballs. The Hussars pursue.
And the slaughter resumes.
Potato and russian axemen face each other in the open, man to man. The former begin to take the upper hand.
And the main infantry line continues to fight ferociously.
Soon only their general remains, who despite being surrounded, fells many a brave potato with his magic axe and daemonic strength.
One last sorcerer remains, who manages to fry a hussar before being brought down.
[IMG]http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/s675/MrMaus/kingdoms2013-02-2319-53-21-12_zps4802f18a.png[/IMG]
And the enemy general is soon killed.
A great rout occurs as the enemy attempt to reach the safety of their walls.
But to no avail.
Zoishenk is liberated and the storm is beaten. The western front is still in need of reinforcement though, if we are to hold it.
Our forces begin to regroup and a new recruitment program is set in motion.
The current situation.
And our economy soon begins to flourish again as many a potato are planted in the sacred soil of Kislev.
We send our spies to the north, where new Khornate forces appear to be massing.
Thankfully they are mostly made up of Marauders, so they'll be easy to handle should they come south.
A new expedition is financed to push the frontiers further north.
And the weakness of the Krauts begins apparent once more. If it were not for Potato they'd all be russian pleasure slaves now.
ITZ strikes Erengrad this time, decimating the forces stationed there. In other areas the infastracture has begun to develop very nicely, increasing our profits.
A norse village is now being besieged.
And is soon taken, leaving a token garrison behind to keep watch on the snowniggers.
Coupled with the massive population boom, expansion and development of our economy the Gross Domestic Potato has risen dramatically, allowing us to field more armies and fortify all of our cities extensively.
With our recent wealth we begin to contemplate the possibility of mounting an expedition against the russian holdings to the north.
A sizeable force is gathered and is tasked with seizing the yurts of the russians.
Women should be cooking potatoes, not killing russians.
ITZ strikes in Krautreich.
Why even bother.
Our force marches ever closer and the russians scramble to reinforce their city.
Using our immense wealth, we are able to buy Stromstaad from the Highfags.
Giving us access to another port on Norsca. When developed it will make us a lot of potato.
Krauts continue shitting their pants and eating cabbages. News at 11.
And it seems the Twilights recaptured Drakenhof. Were it not for potato they'd all be drowned in their own faggotry.
A great battle is about to occur in Urslo as the Khornates have gathered a sizeable force to defend it.
And suddenly a new invasion force appears, the first in many years.
SOUND THE HORNS OF BATTLE. WE MARCH TO WAR.
:kwanzania: : x
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
Why are we not riding down to save the Krauts from the worst turk worst Rus?
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Realpolitik.
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
Ah, I see.
- Joined
- May 13, 2009
- Messages
- 27,637
FOOD FOR THE FOOD GO.... wait, wrong LP. 
Corporate_Jew_Master
Arcane
Bumping for next page
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
: x
CaptainAwesome
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2011
- Messages
- 845
: x
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