D&D 5E Discussion

[Sacibengala]

what will D&D be selling once its customers can't read?

They're already doing that. https://www.polygon.com/23734332/dn...l-tabletop-details-preview-price-release-date

 

[HumanTotemPole]

Somehow, we went from "Orcs are blacks, and that's rayciss" to "Orcs are mexicans (and that's a good thing)".

Totally oblivious to the irony inherent in overcoming fantasy racial stereotypes by depicting them as valorised racial stereotypes.

Also all of the pictures that guy posted were depicting mundane domestic and/or occupational scenes. Not a tabletop guy by any means but I can’t imagine they’ll inspire anyone to imagine a grand adventure. Even in the current year the majority of D&D players can’t be turning up to roleplay bringing their dwarven husband a pie on his lunch break.

 

[Mortmal]

That player handbook art is pozed to the max. Everything is female and black. One exception I saw was a boy in a wheelchair. That's right. Speedy-McGee is going to combat evil and spelunking dangerous dungeons in his fucking wheelchair. On a mechanical basis, I agree with others where it appears that they want to make every class all-the-things. Everything for everyone.

at what IQ level does literacy become impossible? because we're gonna hit that soon. what will D&D be selling once its customers can't read?

That's a good question. Seeing the art shift and the mainstreaming, they will go for a D&D Saturday morning cartoon—an extremely inclusive show, without any doubts, and toys for kids.
This a new DM screen :

 

[Tyranicon]

Where are the fucking moral guardians when you need them? Where are the people who complained that D&D was satanic? They can't all be old or dead.

 

[PunchYouInTheFace]

They can't all be old

They're old and dead - and their offspring picking up the baton and now complaining about mexican orc than turn men gay.

 

[Hagashager]

I suppose only time will tell on this. I have no interest in it whatsoever.

It's clearly marketing to children, aggressively so. I wouldn't be surprised if WOTC intends to do away with their entire previous player base, sex-crazed 5e trannies included in favor of infantalizing the whole thing to sucker kids with toys.

The domestic pictures are intentional. WOTC very genuinely wants DnD to be some weird "Life Simulator" rather than an adventure because dungeon-diving is apparently uncomfortably close to Colonial looting to these retards.

If they can capture children then they're set. You may well see a fair number of "Pozzed SJWs" lamenting the loss of their 5e gay power fantasy too, but it won't matter.

Really though, I'm not sure they CAN attract children with this.

 

[lightbane]

I hope Wizards of the Coast bankrupts already...

 

[Caim]

That player handbook art is pozed to the max. Everything is female and black. One exception I saw was a boy in a wheelchair. That's right. Speedy-McGee is going to combat evil and spelunking dangerous dungeons in his fucking wheelchair. On a mechanical basis, I agree with others where it appears that they want to make every class all-the-things. Everything for everyone.

at what IQ level does literacy become impossible? because we're gonna hit that soon. what will D&D be selling once its customers can't read?

That's a good question. Seeing the art shift and the mainstreaming, they will go for a D&D Saturday morning cartoon—an extremely inclusive show, without any doubts, and toys for kids.
This a new DM screen :

That elf's skirt is hanging so lot it cannot go any lower without showing off his dick. Hope he's some kind of eunuch.

 

[Cael]

That player handbook art is pozed to the max. Everything is female and black. One exception I saw was a boy in a wheelchair. That's right. Speedy-McGee is going to combat evil and spelunking dangerous dungeons in his fucking wheelchair. On a mechanical basis, I agree with others where it appears that they want to make every class all-the-things. Everything for everyone.

at what IQ level does literacy become impossible? because we're gonna hit that soon. what will D&D be selling once its customers can't read?

That's a good question. Seeing the art shift and the mainstreaming, they will go for a D&D Saturday morning cartoon—an extremely inclusive show, without any doubts, and toys for kids.
This a new DM screen :

That elf's skirt is hanging so lot it cannot go any lower without showing off his dick. Hope he's some kind of eunuch.

The dick is what is holding it in place. Heaven help your eyes when he loses his hard-on, you cis-het drone!

 

[thesecret1]

That elf's skirt is hanging so lot it cannot go any lower without showing off his dick. Hope he's some kind of eunuch.

It's a female-to-male tranny. You can see the stitches on its chest from when its breasts got cut off.

 

[Stella Brando]

That player handbook art is pozed to the max. Everything is female and black. One exception I saw was a boy in a wheelchair. That's right. Speedy-McGee is going to combat evil and spelunking dangerous dungeons in his fucking wheelchair. On a mechanical basis, I agree with others where it appears that they want to make every class all-the-things. Everything for everyone.

at what IQ level does literacy become impossible? because we're gonna hit that soon. what will D&D be selling once its customers can't read?

That's a good question. Seeing the art shift and the mainstreaming, they will go for a D&D Saturday morning cartoon—an extremely inclusive show, without any doubts, and toys for kids.
This a new DM screen :

That elf's skirt is hanging so lot it cannot go any lower without showing off his dick. Hope he's some kind of eunuch.

People on this forum like to call me gay, but I had to stare at this picture a few minutes trying to work out what you were talking about, while you seemed to have sniffed it out immediately.

 

[Caim]

That player handbook art is pozed to the max. Everything is female and black. One exception I saw was a boy in a wheelchair. That's right. Speedy-McGee is going to combat evil and spelunking dangerous dungeons in his fucking wheelchair. On a mechanical basis, I agree with others where it appears that they want to make every class all-the-things. Everything for everyone.

at what IQ level does literacy become impossible? because we're gonna hit that soon. what will D&D be selling once its customers can't read?

That's a good question. Seeing the art shift and the mainstreaming, they will go for a D&D Saturday morning cartoon—an extremely inclusive show, without any doubts, and toys for kids.
This a new DM screen :

That elf's skirt is hanging so lot it cannot go any lower without showing off his dick. Hope he's some kind of eunuch.

People on this forum like to call me gay, but I had to stare at this picture a few minutes trying to work out what you were talking about, while you seemed to have sniffed it out immediately.

My pervdar is pretty finely tuned, but as proven here it's not perfect:

That elf's skirt is hanging so lot it cannot go any lower without showing off his dick. Hope he's some kind of eunuch.

It's a female-to-male tranny. You can see the stitches on its chest from when its breasts got cut off.

 

[deuxhero]

Its all retardation. They want to move away from 5e, but Im not sure players will move with them, by every metric the new system is worse.

Which is impressive given how bad 5e was already

 

[Mortmal]

When I say this on other forums, people jump down my throat, but it's all about ideology. Look at 'das schwarze Auge' in Germany; there, it's hegemonic. Obviously, when you cater to your customers' needs, here's what you get instead:

 

[Caim]

the black eye

more like

the BLACKED eye

lmao got em

 

[Old Hans]

That player handbook art is pozed to the max. Everything is female and black. One exception I saw was a boy in a wheelchair. That's right. Speedy-McGee is going to combat evil and spelunking dangerous dungeons in his fucking wheelchair. On a mechanical basis, I agree with others where it appears that they want to make every class all-the-things. Everything for everyone.

at what IQ level does literacy become impossible? because we're gonna hit that soon. what will D&D be selling once its customers can't read?

That's a good question. Seeing the art shift and the mainstreaming, they will go for a D&D Saturday morning cartoon—an extremely inclusive show, without any doubts, and toys for kids.
This a new DM screen :

that is one seriously gay robe

 

[Sacibengala]

That player handbook art is pozed to the max. Everything is female and black. One exception I saw was a boy in a wheelchair. That's right. Speedy-McGee is going to combat evil and spelunking dangerous dungeons in his fucking wheelchair. On a mechanical basis, I agree with others where it appears that they want to make every class all-the-things. Everything for everyone.

at what IQ level does literacy become impossible? because we're gonna hit that soon. what will D&D be selling once its customers can't read?

That's a good question. Seeing the art shift and the mainstreaming, they will go for a D&D Saturday morning cartoon—an extremely inclusive show, without any doubts, and toys for kids.
This a new DM screen :

that is one seriously gay robe

What is not gay on that picture. though?

 

[Saint_Proverbius]

You can see the stitches on its chest from when its breasts got cut off.

Holy shit. I hope that wasn't the intent of that, but it sure as Hell looks like that. I didn't even notice that at first.

 

[Mortmal]

Somehow i did not remember greyhawk looking like that either:

 

[Mortmal]

Modron its official 5E greyhawk art upcoming

 

[ind33d]

You can see the stitches on its chest from when its breasts got cut off.

Holy shit. I hope that wasn't the intent of that, but it sure as Hell looks like that. I didn't even notice that at first.

>druids can turn into bears just to have sex
>the best solution to autogynephilia is a hatchet

??????

 

[Saint_Proverbius]

Somehow i did not remember greyhawk looking like that either:

You have to be a special kind of stupid to think that an adventurer in a high fantasy setting would ever be confined to a wheelchair or transgender. It's almost like any of these designers and artists have never bothered to read their list of spells or gone through the magic items table. There's a various magical means to fix crippling injuries and several ways to actually change your gender that have been in Dungeons & Dragons since AD&D E1, though most of the gender change stuff was considered a curse.

It also makes absolutely no sense why someone that is confined to a wheelchair would decide to be a "general" adventurer. How many people in a wheelchair decide to be a high rise window washer? How many people in a wheelchair work at Sea World training orcas? Or any job dealing directly with dangerous wild animals? Probably none considering the increased level of danger that would involve with those jobs and not having working legs. There's also no way someone designing a dungeon to keep adventurers out or kill them would put fucking wheelchair ramps in them. How about the parts of dungeons that are partially submerged? There's also no way that every cave where some monster is holed up in would be handicap accessible. There's also no deep, unkempt forest out there that grew in accordance with wheelchairs in mind.

Also, enjoy those Transmute spells, Mr. Wheelchair guy. Or Heat Metal. Heck, enjoy Grease on an inclined surface. Enjoy those bigoted Rust Monsters.

WotC has gone full retard on this. You can't stop and think about any of this inclusion shit for more than three minutes and not realize how incredibly stupid it is.

 

[Cael]

Somehow i did not remember greyhawk looking like that either:

You have to be a special kind of stupid to think that an adventurer in a high fantasy setting would ever be confined to a wheelchair or transgender. It's almost like any of these designers and artists have never bothered to read their list of spells or gone through the magic items table. There's a various magical means to fix crippling injuries and several ways to actually change your gender that have been in Dungeons & Dragons since AD&D E1, though most of the gender change stuff was considered a curse.

It also makes absolutely no sense why someone that is confined to a wheelchair would decide to be a "general" adventurer. How many people in a wheelchair decide to be a high rise window washer? How many people in a wheelchair work at Sea World training orcas? Or any job dealing directly with dangerous wild animals? Probably none considering the increased level of danger that would involve with those jobs and not having working legs. There's also no way someone designing a dungeon to keep adventurers out or kill them would put fucking wheelchair ramps in them. How about the parts of dungeons that are partially submerged? There's also no way that every cave where some monster is holed up in would be handicap accessible. There's also no deep, unkempt forest out there that grew in accordance with wheelchairs in mind.

Also, enjoy those Transmute spells, Mr. Wheelchair guy. Or Heat Metal. Heck, enjoy Grease on an inclined surface. Enjoy those bigoted Rust Monsters.

WotC has gone full retard on this. You can't stop and think about any of this inclusion shit for more than three minutes and not realize how incredibly stupid it is.

This is a hobby that insist that the heroic character is boring and the tired old trope of farmer becoming superman because the orcs razed his village is the bestest, most interesting origin story evah!!!!

No, seriously. I have run into an entire group of those fuck-knuckles. These are the same tools who think that it is should be the thing for a 400lb landwhale to beat trained athletes in the Olympics because that is how real life works. The same idiots who think that 3.5's Mystic Theurge is overpowered, and 4 ranks in a skill is university level education and that should be nearly non-existent in a medieval setting like DnD.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

When I say this on other forums, people jump down my throat, but it's all about ideology. Look at 'das schwarze Auge' in Germany; there, it's hegemonic. Obviously, when you cater to your customers' needs, here's what you get instead:

True but do you still have to pass three rolls to attack?

 

[thesecret1]

Somehow i did not remember greyhawk looking like that either:

You have to be a special kind of stupid to think that an adventurer in a high fantasy setting would ever be confined to a wheelchair or transgender. It's almost like any of these designers and artists have never bothered to read their list of spells or gone through the magic items table. There's a various magical means to fix crippling injuries and several ways to actually change your gender that have been in Dungeons & Dragons since AD&D E1, though most of the gender change stuff was considered a curse.

It also makes absolutely no sense why someone that is confined to a wheelchair would decide to be a "general" adventurer. How many people in a wheelchair decide to be a high rise window washer? How many people in a wheelchair work at Sea World training orcas? Or any job dealing directly with dangerous wild animals? Probably none considering the increased level of danger that would involve with those jobs and not having working legs. There's also no way someone designing a dungeon to keep adventurers out or kill them would put fucking wheelchair ramps in them. How about the parts of dungeons that are partially submerged? There's also no way that every cave where some monster is holed up in would be handicap accessible. There's also no deep, unkempt forest out there that grew in accordance with wheelchairs in mind.

Also, enjoy those Transmute spells, Mr. Wheelchair guy. Or Heat Metal. Heck, enjoy Grease on an inclined surface. Enjoy those bigoted Rust Monsters.

WotC has gone full retard on this. You can't stop and think about any of this inclusion shit for more than three minutes and not realize how incredibly stupid it is.

The answer will obviously be to further buff the wheelchair. Stairs? It can fly. Swim? It turns into a tiny submarine when in water. Spells? Reflects them all. Naturally, with such a wondrous item, the cripple character won't be interested in healing his legs as he'd rather keep using the magical wheelchair.

I wouldn't be surprised if they decided to make "cripple" a new class