Death Stranding Director's Cut - Kojima's post-apocalyptic deliveryman simulator

[Steamboat Willie]

This looks like the video game equivalent of Heaven's Gate.

 

[Black]

I don't like how people are retadring Taxie, you guys know he's French, right? He literally has to be pretentious or they'll take his card away.

 

[Hellion]

8 hours of cutscenes

 

[Steamboat Willie]

8 hours of cutscenes

Current speedrun record: 8 hours 7 minutes.

 

[DeepOcean]

8 hours of cutscenes

What? Only that? Kojima is declining from his standards.

 

[throwaway69420]

Looks like the game is gonna be pretentious shit that isn’t fun to play. Retards will praise it like NieR Automata because the presentation is fancy enough. They’re so used to absolute rancid dogshit that vomit looks like a Michelin Star meal to them.

Can’t wait to visit my friends who were hyped since e3 for this tomorrow and watch over the hours as their hype turns into worry then disappointment. They need a tough love lesson on shit like this and I’m expecting this game to give it to them.

 

[Steamboat Willie]

Looks like the game is gonna be pretentious shit that isn’t fun to play.

That's exactly what the "10/10 Masterpiece!" PlaystationFaggot.com review said.

 

[Gerrard]

8 hours of cutscenes

Pretty sure Witcher 3 had more. (though I think that included all conversations, not just full cutscenes)

 

[taxalot]

Pretty sure we are going to find out that there is a strong correlation between people who hate Death Stranding and alt right.

Just saying.

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

Im a Kojimbo fanboy

 

[Steamboat Willie]

Everyone who disagrees with me is "alt right".

 

[Gerrard]

Yeah that gay guy who gave it 35 was definitely alt right.

 

[Steamboat Willie]

Yeah that gay guy who gave it 35 was definitely alt right.

This is just the standard narrative. Anyone who doesn't consume massive corporate media products slavishly is "alt right". Don't like the new Star Wars? Alt right. Don't like the new Star Trek? Alt right. Don't like the new Ghostbusters? Alt right. Don't like the new Terminator? Alt right. Don't like the new Battlefield? Alt right. Don't like every single shitty Marvel film? Alt right.

 

[Sentinel]

This game takes cringe writing to a-whole-nother level.

Spoiler

"Final" boss is just MGS4 except the AI is completely passive

Spoiler

 

[Sentinel]

Spoiler

 

[DJOGamer PT]

Holy shit bros this fucking game is killing me.

Gameplay:

Spoiler

"Final" boss is just MGS4 except the AI is completely passive

Spoiler

big lady is virus to kill all life, big lad fall in love with normie human . big lady and normie human tries to save humans with their golden skull face friend. big lady and normie gets a time travelling baby (you) you connect people to big lady home land (beach) which allows virus to kill all life, which is what golden skull wants. You kill golden skull and get a choice between kill big lady (which will let the big lady kill everything, but she is trying to lie to you) or hug her to make her stfu and give humanity a chance. normie human steals little baby and you stops him. normie human tells you that he is your father and you are the baby.

I'm not fucking lying

Spoiler

>*whistles for magic motorcycle*
>autowalks on road to quest marker
>*Pinwheel vision activates*
>"Mhmm....giant slash marks all over the victim....a BT™, gotta be"
>"Come on, fetus"
>*follows pinwheel*
>guys in BT™ costumes appear
>"OY BLOODY GHOST SOUNDS"
>"President of jack shit" ALALALALA but on cello *sets guys on fire and they stumble and recover immediately, does a cinematic walk and cuts guys in half"
>"Mhmm.... Hazmats™ pretending to be BTs™......better tell the post office head about this"
>"Come on, fetus"
>*autowalks on road back to village*
>"HEY FUCKIN FUCK CUNT DELIVERY BOY, WHAT ABOUT THE SHIPPING LABEL WE PAID YA FOR YA FUCKIN FUCKING CUNT?"
>"Just some bastards posing as BTs™, here's proof *shows ladder*"
>"HEY BRIDGER, HERE'S YA REWARD THE WHOLE POST OFFICE CHIPPED IN"
>"Busting up BTs" Complete AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>10 packages received

Also, apparentely Kojima ripped off some ideas from this book: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Time_Wanderers

 

[†††]

are we sure that boss fight isn't in game journo difficulty?

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

 

[DJOGamer PT]

Fans are in full damage control:

 

[Venser]

The game just arrived and I'll play it after I come home from work. Didn't watch any reviews, playthroughs nor I read the last few pages of this thread. I wanna go into it as blind as possible and experience this "new genre" for myself. I'm ready for a huge letdown :D

 

[cvv]

Yes, this is almost perfect analogy. Kojima is Darren Aronofsky of videogames.

 

[dbx]

Spoiler

Kojima is the Michael Bay of pretentiousness

 

[Steamboat Willie]

Why are they running down the beach in slow motion like that? Is she helping him train to fight Clubber Lang?

 

[J_C]

Fans are in full damage control:

I don't know which group of people are more pathetic. Those who are posting 10/10 reviews on metacritic just to bump up the metacritic score. Or those who want to ridicule other people so much that they waste their time with making pictures like that.

 

[cvv]

I don't know which group of people are more pathetic. Those who are posting 10/10 reviews on metacritic just to bump up the metacritic score. Or those who want to ridicule other people so much that they waste their time with making pictures like that.

The first group. Definitely the first group.