From Software Elden Ring - From Software's new game with writing by GRRM

[Eyestabber]

Just to show case what my new little build can do, here's one of the routes i was making to farm [3] stones:

I didn't see a single bleed proc, m8. You're just killing these soldiers with regular damage, which means the bleed scimitar isn't doing much for you. With your current setup you will only bleed bosses. You need to either go all in and put bleed in both weapons OR ditch it entirely and go for double fire (if no scaling), double occult (if ARC scaling) or double Keen (if DEX scaling).

The [3] stone is the worst one.

Have you been to the lower part of the Ainsel River yet? Beautiful place, fair enemies AND tons of smithing stone [3] to loot. You met Turtle Pope, right? The Ainsel River Well is that round shape to the east of the Church of Vows.

What weapons can I use? What stats am I allowed to raise? Can I use a greatsword and a shield? Just tell me.

You're only allowed to heal and buff the Jellyfish. Dealing damage directly is a form of cheating. Dedicated Jellyfish support is the only FAIR way to play this game.

 

[Hassar]

Because I live rent free in your tiny head.

You only live in MY tiny head you stupid fuck. Don't pretend anyone else gives a shit about your vapid, aggressively trite opinions except for someone as pathologically robbed of inhibition and discipline as I. And so far and unto forever, only I.

No one else is going to write you psychotic post-modern short stories with a meta-narrative that reference an argument we had five fucking years ago whenever you bring up a tangential topic. You don't even remember or understand the catalyst for this obsession because while for me our initial argument in the summer of 2017 was an apocalyptic exposure to a one-of-a-kind moronic smugness, for you it was just a Friday night. The fact that the big fat idiocy you idly shit into the world happened to land in this sufficiently soft and grooved brain of mine as to create a you-shaped decline is in no way a testament to the momentous weight of your opinions but is rather a mark of chancy shame upon the both of us, you insufferable head-up-your-ass cretin.

I pay 48 people on Fiverr - yes that's one covering every major time zone and, since Covid, a substitute for each in case someone gets sick - to send me an email, a text message, and a fax every time you make a post on this forum related to such things as "power attacks," "game modification," "action RPGs," and "Porky's original thoughts - God save us all," to name a few. It was only per the advice and assistance of the medical and psychiatric staff working out of my previous place of residence that for the past few years I have had the self-control to ignore the awfully retarded nonsense you write, coping instead by grinding the print-outs of your posts into a fine dust and snorting them. Through my urethra.

If anyone else whosoever actually gave a damn about your worthless existence, it could plausibly inspire some positive change in the world and therefore stop being worthless, thus giving someone as strangely preoccupied with pointless self-harm as I no reason to continue engaging with you. And yet here I am, so evidently I am the only one after all. Hineni, you dumb devil. Consider the following:

-If your posts had the same manic effect on George R. R. Martin's creative writing output as on mine, he would have, like, a fifth of the Winds of Winter done already.

-If your posts had the same masochistic effect on the sexual proclivities of Russian troops as on mine, the war in Ukraine would surely have ended already as they would all desert to check themselves into the nearest intact emergency room to treat the self-inflicted damage to their urinary tract.

-If your posts retroactively had the same devastating effect on the will-to-live of historical astronauts as on mine, they would have all found ways to turn their ships, vessels, and stations towards the Earth, their blazing suicides raining upon our wretched heads as fiery stars of fell crimson, perhaps granting sweet oblivion to I who is cursed to yet live.

Never again pretend that anyone else gives as much as a single cock-choked queef about you or the cancerous womb of your mind that spawns the still-born scum you mistake for thoughts.

You know nothing, you are nothing, you are no one and mean nothing to anyone except me. And what you mean to me is seething hatred, and all I know of you I despise.

Though never as much as I despise myself for bearing the misfortune of knowing you.

Listen here shitsticker.

I have had it up to here with your bullshit. Either don't play the game or play the game. No one wants to hear you whine like a reclusive paedophile screaming about hetero-normative gay complexes. If Finland was a part of NATO, George Martin would have a heart attack and collapse into a black hole. Your face on my arse m8!

This back-and-forth is more interesting than portions of the game itself. This is why we keep coming to the Codex. This, and Stockholm Syndrome.

 

[Sunri]

I hope everyone else is having a great day.

Sanest codex user.

 

[NJClaw]

blaidd on gaol fight also lets you get carian charm from iji

You get it even without summoning him. Unless there's a second carian charm that I don't know about.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

I'm uploading the footage of the last few bosses of my current playthrough, I'll post them as soon as they're ready. I'm playing a Dex/Arcane build that deals incredible amounts of burst damage, so I guess you could consider that cheating. Just tell me what tools I'm allowed to use, and I'll post a full playthrough. I wanted to try an Int or Faith build next, but that's probably out of the question. What weapons can I use? What stats am I allowed to raise? Can I use a greatsword and a shield? Just tell me.

I want you to use an organic build, something that a typical RPG player would use when starting a game, with no meta-knowledge, and without using easy-mode stuff like summons. Some examples of organic builds below:

- shield and weapon build utilizing blocking
- dexterity rolling build
- buckler parrying build
- heavy armor two-handed build utilizing poise or stomp cut for defense
- archer build
- straight up caster build
- melee/caster hybrid

But you can't use some build that requires meta-knowledge, so like if you combine this spell with this weapon with this trinket, suddenly it does 400,000,000 points of damage, and you just randomly discovered this while playing the game.

 

[Sunri]

I'm uploading the footage of the last few bosses of my current playthrough, I'll post them as soon as they're ready. I'm playing a Dex/Arcane build that deals incredible amounts of burst damage, so I guess you could consider that cheating. Just tell me what tools I'm allowed to use, and I'll post a full playthrough. I wanted to try an Int or Faith build next, but that's probably out of the question. What weapons can I use? What stats am I allowed to raise? Can I use a greatsword and a shield? Just tell me.

I want you to use an organic build, something that a typical RPG player would use when starting a game, with no meta-knowledge, and without using easy-mode stuff like summons. Some examples of organic builds below:

- shield and weapon build utilizing blocking
- dexterity rolling build
- buckler parrying build
- heavy armor two-handed build utilizing poise or stomp cut for defense
- archer build
- straight up caster build
- melee/caster hybrid

But you can't use some build that requires meta-knowledge, so like if you combine this spell with this weapon with this trinket, suddenly it does 400,000,000 points of damage, and you just randomly discovered this while playing the game.

Archery is not valid in this game or any other, you can't rely only on bow the amount of arrows that you can carry is insufficient heavy armor in ER is also kinda useless there is no poise like in DS where you tank and chug without rolling lol

 

[cvv]

I want you to use an organic build, something that a typical RPG player would use when starting a game, with no meta-knowledge, and without using easy-mode stuff like summons.

Outside of "no summons" the only other condition you really need is "no jump attacks".

Nobody talks about jump attacks even tho they're one of the most broken things in the game bc mobs' and bosses' AI doesn't seem to be tuned properly for them.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Archery is not valid in this game or any other, you can't rely only on bow the amount of arrows that you can carry is insufficient heavy armor in ER is also kinda useless there is no poise like in DS where you tank and chug without rolling lol

And shield/weapon builds are extremely difficult/annoying early on because you need a lot of stats/equipment before they are functional.

And dexterity rolling/parrying/reaction builds work much worse than in previous games because bosses are way faster and trickier but your animations and input delay suck ass.

And so on and so forth. So you see my point?

 

[Sunri]

Archery is not valid in this game or any other, you can't rely only on bow the amount of arrows that you can carry is insufficient heavy armor in ER is also kinda useless there is no poise like in DS where you tank and chug without rolling lol

And shield/weapon builds are extremely difficult/annoying early on because you need a lot of stats/equipment before they are functional.

And dexterity rolling/parrying/reaction builds work much worse than in previous games because bosses are way faster and trickier but your animations and input delay suck ass.

And so on and so forth. So you see my point?

I mean dex build will just use starting katana and roll game with it lol it's the easiest way to play this game and parrying is not that hard with buckler it's just that there are a lot of monster bosses that cant be parry, so it's specific and in my opinion the best way to play is to just adapt on the fly to the current challenge and swapping your items I don't see why someone should restrict themselves to running with dex weapon only or some other shit

 

[Sunri]

I want you to use an organic build, something that a typical RPG player would use when starting a game, with no meta-knowledge, and without using easy-mode stuff like summons.

Outside of "no summons" the only other condition you really need is "no jump attacks".

Nobody talks about jump attacks even tho they're one of the most broken things in the game bc mobs' and bosses' AI doesn't seem to be tuned properly for them.

Jumping attacks are an integral part of the game they allow you to get additional attacks during boss turn instead just waiting for normal opening, they are cool and skillful.

 

[nimateb]

Killed 3 runeholders, dont feel like playing anymore. This game lacks the focus of the ds series and the mini dungeons sucks, whenever i reach one i google it to see if its worth to go inside. Time to reinstall new vegas because of that thread in the rpg forum

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

... and in my opinion the best way to play is to just adapt on the fly to the current challenge and swapping your items I don't see why someone should restrict themselves to running with dex weapon only or some other shit

You are making all my points for me. Therein lies the difference between RPG players, who enjoy the experience, the building of a cool character, and fighting game/challenge/e-sports players, who just want to beat shit.

 

[Sunri]

... and in my opinion the best way to play is to just adapt on the fly to the current challenge and swapping your items I don't see why someone should restrict themselves to running with dex weapon only or some other shit

You are making all my points for me. Therein lies the difference between RPG players, who enjoy the experience, the building of a cool character, and fighting game/challenge/e-sports players, who just want to beat shit.

Adapting my character makes me an esport player, dayum I didn't know it was that easy.

 

[Lutte]

And dexterity rolling/parrying/reaction builds work much worse than in previous games because bosses are way faster and trickier but your animations and input delay suck ass.

I used a regular dex build with Uchigatana, the Samurai starter weapon, for half of the game (then I respecced to int and used moonveil, but it isn't, unlike what you say, metagaming from internet acquired knowledge. I didn't even know it was good, I made a save backup, respecced and tried the various weapons I had collected by this point in the game. Stuck with int once I realized how fucking good this is.), it's honestly underpowered compared to int/fatih/arcane but it's still viable. I wouldn't want to use it on the worst bullshit ala Malenia but the game didn't feel bad with it. The thing you need to understand though is that you need to spam weapon arts, r1/r2 don't really cut it. L2-R2 on unsheathe do a lot, lot of stagger and it's a quick attack with quick recovery. Broadsword/longsword Square Off seem pretty good too.

On bosses, the vast majority of my attacks throughout the game were weapon arts. I only used regular r1 and r2 early game when I didn't have enough FP, and late game when I went more toward bleed so I would end up spamming power stance l1 whenever I staggered something.

dex builds are pretty alright, but STR will probably have nothing but jump attacks to it.

 

[Kjaska]

for STR builds I found this video entertaining and informative (sry if repost)

 

[Lutte]

for STR builds I found this video entertaining and informative (sry if repost)

The video just confirms the truth he thought he was contradicting. Two thirds of his attacks are jump attacks, it's clearly a video recorded of someone who already beat the game once at a minimum, already knows all the tells of the bosses, and the damage he does is really pathetic compared to the amount of effort it takes to play the build.

 

[Sunri]

for STR builds I found this video entertaining and informative (sry if repost)

The video just confirms the truth he thought he was contradicting. Two thirds of his attacks are jump attacks, it's clearly a video recorded of someone who already beat the game once at a minimum, already knows all the tells of the bosses, and the damage he does is really pathetic compared to the amount of effort it takes to play the build.

Someone needs to count all normal jumping and crouch attacks in the video, but I don't think the majority of it was jumping.

 

[Lutte]

For how dogslow those weapons are outside of jumping, the damage is absolutely pathetic.
Jumping R2 on +25 guts Heavy Greatsword, 80 STR, NG+ journey 4

Blasphemous Blade jumping R2

Colossal weapons suck colossal arse.
I was originally going to show the blasphemous weapon art but I thought it would be bullying.

 

[Kruno]

JarlFrank you might want to see this.

 

[cvv]

 

[Lyric Suite]

I didn't see a single bleed proc, m8. You're just killing these soldiers with regular damage, which means the bleed scimitar isn't doing much for you. With your current setup you will only bleed bosses. You need to either go all in and put bleed in both weapons OR ditch it entirely and go for double fire (if no scaling), double occult (if ARC scaling) or double Keen (if DEX scaling).

They die before the proc occurs, and that's probably only because one of them has a bleed ash. I assume it's gonna get better once i find a second bleed ash of war (i only have one, so i put it on my main hand), but for now that's what i'm getting. The second sword has a fire ash of war since i didn't know what to put in there so i went with the theme.

Bleed proc still happens if their health pool is large enough.

 

[Lyric Suite]

Told ya.

The [3] stone is the worst one. The [4] stone is actually far easier to farm.

You know you can buy them, right?

You know you can go back a page or two and read why your comment is retarded, right?

I could, but I won't. What you gonna do about it?

Nothing, i'll just explain the situation.

I'm too far away from the ball bearing +2, so it's gonna be a long time before i can buy them, and i decided to change build in the middle of the game so i found myself short of materials for upgrading a new set of weapons, which is why i'm farming the ones i need.

 

[NJClaw]

I'm uploading the footage of the last few bosses of my current playthrough, I'll post them as soon as they're ready. I'm playing a Dex/Arcane build that deals incredible amounts of burst damage, so I guess you could consider that cheating. Just tell me what tools I'm allowed to use, and I'll post a full playthrough. I wanted to try an Int or Faith build next, but that's probably out of the question. What weapons can I use? What stats am I allowed to raise? Can I use a greatsword and a shield? Just tell me.

I want you to use an organic build, something that a typical RPG player would use when starting a game, with no meta-knowledge, and without using easy-mode stuff like summons. Some examples of organic builds below:

- shield and weapon build utilizing blocking
- dexterity rolling build
- buckler parrying build
- heavy armor two-handed build utilizing poise or stomp cut for defense
- archer build
- straight up caster build
- melee/caster hybrid

But you can't use some build that requires meta-knowledge, so like if you combine this spell with this weapon with this trinket, suddenly it does 400,000,000 points of damage, and you just randomly discovered this while playing the game.

The build I used in these videos IS an organic build, to the point that a friend of mine used a very similar one in his first ever blind playthrough. I'm (sometimes) using spells and trinkets, but nothing that requires any kind of external knowledge. I have two bleed weapons and only use jump attacks, so I equipped everything that enhances bleed and jump attacks. I'm using only stuff that I also discovered in my first playthrough.

What's important (and easy) to notice about these videos is how easy it is to melt endgame bosses without being that good at the game. Hoarah Loux basically bullied me for half the encounter, sending me straight from 13 to 3 flasks, and yet I won on the first attempt. By the time the game starts throwing at you apparently hard bosses, you have so many ways to become overpowered that you have to actively try to gimp yourself to have a fair fight. So, here are today's fights (everything that I had left after Maliketh):

Sir Gideon. Seeing 1/3 of his health bar deplete with a single attack is kinda cringe. May the Jumping Brotherhood forgive me for having used a single non-jumping L1.



Hoarah Loux. Just like with Morgott, I basically fail to dodge every single move. I get hit ever 2 seconds and get bullied particularly hard from 1:16 to 2:34. I spend more than a minute getting hit and wasting flasks, without ever being able to retaliate. Keep in mind that I'm playing a "rolling" character, but I can't roll for shit because I'm used to hide behind a greatshield. And still, he goes down at the first attempt.



Radagon/Elden Beast. Here my build is useless, since both bosses are immune to my main source of damage. Doesn't really matter, because every attack deals so much damage that I can still win while playing far from perfectly (to use a euphemism). I fail to dodge almost every ranged attack, and still defeat them on my first attempt.



Malenia. While you watch this digital rape, keep in mind that this is the boss that most people are outraged about. I want to stress many relevant details:

- After 14 seconds, she has lost more than 1/3 of her health bar, I've only pressed X+L1 and she still hasn't attacked once
- The outrageous attack that's impossible to avoid is the one she does at 0:15. It's so unavoidable that its effect is that I haven't lost a single HP and she took 3939 damage.
- At 0:21 she damages me for the first time, and then she dies.
- In phase 2 she hits me more times, but it's basically the same exact story she goes down in little more than a minute.

Despite this probably looking better than the other three fights, I died against her 4 times before this attempt, because I tried a less aggressive approach while the key to this fight is to never leave her a second to breathe.

 

[Sunri]

I'm uploading the footage of the last few bosses of my current playthrough, I'll post them as soon as they're ready. I'm playing a Dex/Arcane build that deals incredible amounts of burst damage, so I guess you could consider that cheating. Just tell me what tools I'm allowed to use, and I'll post a full playthrough. I wanted to try an Int or Faith build next, but that's probably out of the question. What weapons can I use? What stats am I allowed to raise? Can I use a greatsword and a shield? Just tell me.

I want you to use an organic build, something that a typical RPG player would use when starting a game, with no meta-knowledge, and without using easy-mode stuff like summons. Some examples of organic builds below:

- shield and weapon build utilizing blocking
- dexterity rolling build
- buckler parrying build
- heavy armor two-handed build utilizing poise or stomp cut for defense
- archer build
- straight up caster build
- melee/caster hybrid

But you can't use some build that requires meta-knowledge, so like if you combine this spell with this weapon with this trinket, suddenly it does 400,000,000 points of damage, and you just randomly discovered this while playing the game.

The build I used in these videos IS an organic build, to the point that a friend of mine used a very similar one in his first ever blind playthrough. I'm (sometimes) using spells and trinkets, but nothing that requires any kind of external knowledge. I have two bleed weapons and only use jump attacks, so I equipped everything that enhances bleed and jump attacks. I'm using only stuff that I also discovered in my first playthrough.

What's important (and easy) to notice about these videos is how easy it is to melt endgame bosses without being that good at the game. Hoarah Loux basically bullied me for half the encounter, sending me straight from 13 to 3 flasks, and yet I won on the first attempt. By the time the game starts throwing at you apparently hard bosses, you have so many ways to become overpowered that you have to actively try to gimp yourself to have a fair fight. So, here are today's fights (everything that I had left after Maliketh):

Sir Gideon. Seeing 1/3 of his health bar deplete with a single attack is kinda cringe. May the Jumping Brotherhood forgive me for having used a single non-jumping L1.



Hoarah Loux. Just like with Morgott, I basically fail to dodge every single move. I get hit ever 2 seconds and get bullied particularly hard from 1:16 to 2:34. I spend more than a minute getting hit and wasting flasks, without ever being able to retaliate. Keep in mind that I'm playing a "rolling" character, but I can't roll for shit because I'm used to hide behind a greatshield. And still, he goes down at the first attempt.



Radagon/Elden Beast. Here my build is useless, since both bosses are immune to my main source of damage. Doesn't really matter, because every attack deals so much damage that I can still win while playing far from perfectly (to use a euphemism). I fail to dodge almost every ranged attack, and still defeat them on my first attempt.



Malenia. While you watch this digital rape, keep in mind that this is the boss that most people are outraged about. I want to stress many relevant details:

- After 14 seconds, she has lost more than 1/3 of her health bar, I've only pressed X+L1 and she still hasn't attacked once
- The outrageous attack that's impossible to avoid is the one she does at 0:15. It's so unavoidable that its effect is that I haven't lost a single HP and she took 3939 damage.
- At 0:21 she damages me for the first time, and then she dies.
- In phase 2 she hits me more times, but it's basically the same exact story she goes down in little more than a minute.

Despite this probably looking better than the other three fights, I died against her 4 times before this attempt, because I tried a less aggressive approach while the key to this fight is to never leave her a second to breathe.

You tanked Meliania flower plus explosion and survived, how much vigor do you have? And this not organic build haha this is meta op shit

 

[NJClaw]

You tanked Meliania flower plus explosion and survived, how much vigor do you have? And this not organic build haha this is meta op shit

I know nothing about what is meta, I don't take part in any souls-related community outside of this topic (I opened Reddit once 5 years ago, I will never make that mistake again). This is op shit because 75% of the shit in this game is op in the late game, I still had an easier time with my STR build with a greatsword and a greatshield.

I think I had something around 55 Vigor + Radahn rune. When, like me, you're unable to avoid attacks, having enough HP to survive almost anything becomes a priority. I remember a friend of mine talking about how he kept getting one-shotted by Malenia's grab, and then I finally saw this supposedly impossible to survive attack and it barely took away 1/3 of my health bar.