From Software Elden Ring - From Software's new game with writing by GRRM

[NJClaw]

You autists are the ones coping, I am enjoying myself. See, I bring a normal person's perspective to From Software games. That might sting and make you seethe, but it is what it is.

Believe me, Porky, we're enjoying ourselves too. We're enjoying ourselves immensely

Pinwheel called, says he misses you. Give him a call back will you, you're the only pussy he ever got after all, the poor fella.

TBH, I've died on Pinwheel on a SL1 run before. I whiffed an attack and took a fireball at point blank range. A proud moment to be sure.

From Software games are literally games where players constantly die to regular mobs, and idiots like Di_X over here or NJCluck are desperately trying to shame me cause I died to a boss, lol? Either they are even dumber than I thought (which would be quite impressive), or in their gameplay approach, where they read up 20 online guides on every boss before facing them, adopt meta-approved builds, etc, they forgot what it's actually like to play games for ... fun. Oh well, can't fix stupid. :D

You see the irony in calling other people "dumb" and "stupid" while not realizing that "I've died to him on a SL1 [...] A proud moment to be sure" is basically just another shot at you, right?

I really can't imagine what your day-to-day experience with these games might be to think that anyone needs to read online guides and use overpowered builds not to die to Pinwheel on a regular playthrough. On my first run I was really (REALLY) terrible, I think I died hundreds and hundreds of times, and yet not even I could achieve this impressive feat. Even you have to realize that "everyone else cheats" and "they aren't playing for fun" are impressive coping mechanisms. You can't be THIS blind, even at your venerable old age.

Do you need me to post you a video of this fight on my next playthrough, porks?

 

[Lyric Suite]

Elden Ring: Bosses Come Twice.

 

[Lyric Suite]

Are you left handed by any chance?

I am actually. Not sure if that makes the difference, but there it is.

 

[Lyric Suite]

BTW, i think i found another egregious example of shit loot being put in difficult places.

There's this three giant dogs all bunched toghether. Of course try to lure one and they all aggro. I manage to cheat the AI to get them to fight one by one, and what was i rewared with for my efforts? Bones, lmao.

 

[Lutte]

Elden Ring: Bosses Come Twice.

They'll come far more often than twice. They're just regular enemies with a souped up HP bar and they like the gank encounter design.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Special delivery for PorkyThePopamoler:

You do realize you rate every single one of my posts with a negative rating in every single thread, while I barely know you even exist, my little friend? Maybe you should turn that lube inward. Oh, and Gene Wolfe is still not fun to read. :D

Believe me, Porky, we're enjoying ourselves too. We're enjoying ourselves immensely

I guess it doesn't take much to entertain simple minds.

You see the irony in calling other people "dumb" and "stupid" while not realizing that "I've died to him on a SL1 [...] A proud moment to be sure" is basically just another shot at you, right?

No, the actual irony is that you have no idea how I fought Pinwheel, what build I was playing at the time, whether or not I was experimenting with new stuff, etc. Judging by those hilarious videos you posted before, you just pick some completely skill-less build with massive health and heavy damage, and then you can have your cat run around on the keyboard and still defeat the bosses. But some of us play for fun, and actually pick fun builds that require player skill, timing, etc.

That's what morons like you can't seem to grasp, normal people play games for fun, while an autist such as yourself looks for a way to
"break" the game essentially, look up (or maybe theorycraft, though that might be giving you too much credit) some build that will just wreck the game AI or balance, and then try to make fun of normal players for struggling against the game by being stupid enough to play it as it was intended. The irony is indeed epic.

Do you need me to post you a video of this fight on my next playthrough, porks?

Sure, I could use another laugh. Maybe this time you could actually time a single dodge or something.

 

[mediocrepoet]

No, the actual irony is that you have no idea how I fought Pinwheel, what build I was playing at the time, whether or not I was experimenting with new stuff, etc. Judging by those hilarious videos you posted before, you just pick some completely skill-less build with massive health and heavy damage, and then you can have your cat run around on the keyboard and still defeat the bosses. But some of us play for fun, and actually pick fun builds that require player skill, timing, etc.

That's what morons like you can't seem to grasp, normal people play games for fun, while an autist such as yourself looks for a way to
"break" the game essentially, look up (or maybe theorycraft, though that might be giving you too much credit) some build that will just wreck the game AI or balance, and then try to make fun of normal players for struggling against the game by being stupid enough to play it as it was intended.

I just play for fun guys!
Why you always so mean?
Why you break gaem and not die to Pinwheel as intended?

 

[mediocrepoet]

BTW, i think i found another egregious example of shit loot being put in difficult places.

There's this three giant dogs all bunched toghether. Of course try to lure one and they all aggro. I manage to cheat the AI to get them to fight one by one, and what was i rewared with for my efforts? Bones, lmao.

And what did you expect to find a group of dogs obsessing over? I mean, really.

 

[NJClaw]

No, the actual irony is that you have no idea how I fought Pinwheel, what build I was playing at the time, whether or not I was experimenting with new stuff, etc. Judging by those hilarious videos you posted before, you just pick some completely skill-less build with massive health and heavy damage, and then you can have your cat run around on the keyboard and still defeat the bosses. But some of us play for fun, and actually pick fun builds that require player skill, timing, etc.

That's what morons like you can't seem to grasp, normal people play games for fun, while an autist such as yourself looks for a way to
"break" the game essentially, look up (or maybe theorycraft, though that might be giving you too much credit) some build that will just wreck the game AI or balance, and then try to make fun of normal players for struggling against the game by being stupid enough to play it as it was intended. The irony is indeed epic.

All hail Porky, god of coping and slayer of Pinwheel!

Oh, and Gene Wolfe is still not fun to read. :D

 

[Lutte]

Judging by those hilarious videos you posted before, you just pick some completely skill-less build with massive health and heavy damage

Are we supposed to think it's intelligent to not level the stat correlated to hitpoints here? in an action rpg?

And also not pay attention to the tools that offer better damage than others.. in a game where 100% of the content is killing things? have you confused Dark Souls for Arcanum for a minute? are you Andhaira and offering us some insight about rat diplomacy, or in this case, zombie diplomacy? Look Zombie, please don't hit me, I levelled nothing but my resistance and intelligence stat! Zombie, look, I am very intelligent and smartly playing the game "as intended", please, stop.

 

[Suicidal]

After getting to Atlas Plateau/Leyendel it seems that the game is starting to show its ugly side. Almost every single mob I encountered in the zone is just a level scaled version of shit I fought before (generic human soldiers, spear/shield knights, beastmen, harpies, those weird tumor fatasses I saw in Godrick's castle) the only new enemies I saw where the hunchback dudes near the big tree that puke instant death gas. Likewise most of the bosses/mini-bosses in the zone so far I have already seen before. Even a shittier version of Godrick and Margit (whom they forgot to level scale so he was hitting me for like 10% of my HP) make an appearance again.

I know that recycling a boss enemy as a regular mob later in the game is a common trope in action games, but Elden Ring is the first game I've played that does the opposite - first you encounter an enemy normally in the field, later the game repurposes said enemy as a boss fight. He does nothing new, yet now he had a boss lifebar and music for some reason, like this particular encounter is meant to be special. In one of the caves in the zone the boss were just 2 shrimp dudes that shoot homing spikes that I've already seen in several places and in one of those places I had to fight groups of 3-4 of them.

I'm still enjoying the game but it really is starting to feel too long for its own good. The variety of content does not support the huge open world it has.

 

[NJClaw]

While I utterly despise reused content, I can somewhat forgive facing Margit multiple times and I actually like what they were trying to do. You're not fighting different creatures who for some reason are identical to one another and act in the same exact way, you're facing the same guy over and over because he's trying to prevent you from completing your journey. At least it makes sense in the context of the events of the game.

On the other hand, Godefroy is the worst possible way to recycle content. You can't take such a unique boss, paint it blue, and say "hey look, it's his brother!". It's despair-inducing. And he isn't even the worst example...

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

I just play for fun guys!
Why you always so mean?
Why you break gaem and not die to Pinwheel as intended?

I love it, whenever I start destroying one of you in actual arguments, the other 2-3 jackals jump in, trying to nip at my ankles. But even 3 jackals are no match for one Porky. Keep the tears coming, they are lubricating my ego.

All hail Porky, god of coping and slayer of Pinwheel!

It just kills you inside that I can complete these games playing ad hoc, while you have to resort to meta-gaming and cheese builds, doesn't it? It's ok, not everyone can be like me.

Oh, and Gene Wolfe is still not fun to read. :D

He isn't. Deal with it.

Judging by those hilarious videos you posted before, you just pick some completely skill-less build with massive health and heavy damage

Are we supposed to think it's intelligent to not level the stat correlated to hitpoints here? in an action rpg?

And also not pay attention to the tools that offer better damage than others.. in a game where 100% of the content is killing things? have you confused Dark Souls for Arcanum for a minute?

I think it's you who confused Dark Souls for Arcanum. In the video NJCluck posted earlier in the thread, he ran into the boss, failed every dodge and any other aRPG move, and commenced exchanging blows with it, winning that battle. As someone who started with a few different builds in Elden Ring, and aware of how much damage a typical build can "naturally" do and take, I am sure he just happened to stumble into one that outdoes bosses hit for hit. Or maybe you are an idiot, and he meta-gamed.

 

[Lutte]

Initially, when almost nothing had been revealed about the game, I legit thought they'd go the classic (not botw, which is garbage) zelda of world design, but with more freedom in the order you do things. You'd have a few open fields and go to whatever shardbearer you want to from there as From's way of doing something "open".

I never thought From would devolve into the ubisoft formula instead. Each square of the map = 1 dragon, 1 erdtree defender, 1 catacomb, 1 cave, 1 mine, 1 tower puzzle etc etc. It's literally the ubisoft formula bruhs. It just doesn't have constant UI reminders about what's around you.

 

[NJClaw]

I think it's you who confused Dark Souls for Arcanum. In the video NJCluck posted earlier in the thread, he ran into the boss, failed every dodge and any other aRPG move, and commenced exchanging blows with it, winning that battle. As someone who started with a few different builds in Elden Ring, and aware of how much damage a typical build can "naturally" do and take, I am sure he just happened to stumble into one that outdoes bosses hit for hit. Or maybe you are an idiot, and he meta-gamed.

"Meta-gamed".

I'm on my sixth playthrough, how the fuck can I avoid metagaming? Unlike you, I can't afford getting a lobotomy every Monday, Porky.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Don't compare Elden Ring to BotW please. BotW is a masterpiece, perhaps the greatest open world game ever made. Elden Ring is a badly designed diluted Dark Souls, a combat focused slog with most of the combat mechanics broken.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

I think it's you who confused Dark Souls for Arcanum. In the video NJCluck posted earlier in the thread, he ran into the boss, failed every dodge and any other aRPG move, and commenced exchanging blows with it, winning that battle. As someone who started with a few different builds in Elden Ring, and aware of how much damage a typical build can "naturally" do and take, I am sure he just happened to stumble into one that outdoes bosses hit for hit. Or maybe you are an idiot, and he meta-gamed.

"Meta-gamed".

I'm on my sixth playthrough, how the fuck can I avoid metagaming? Unlike you, I can't afford getting a lobotomy every Monday, Porky.

That's my point, you village idiot. You play the same game 6 times in a row (in itself surely a sign of extreme stupidity), and then laugh at people dying to bosses on their first run? Do you see the disconnect there? Or do I need to make fun of you some more?

 

[Lutte]

Your reading comprehension is so terrible. Where did I compare it to botw? I mention classic zeldas. You know, the ones with actual dungeons, instead of the crappy open world, which is also garbage.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Oh, sorry, I just saw "BotW" in your post, and skipped the rest of it, like I usually do.

 

[Lutte]

Cope more, you just don't want to admit your presence in a room lowers the average iq.

 

[Suicidal]

While I utterly despise reused content, I can somewhat forgive facing Margit multiple times and I actually like what they were trying to do. You're not fighting different creatures who for some reason are identical to one another and act in the same exact way, you're facing the same guy over and over because he's trying to prevent you from completing your journey. At least it makes sense in the context of the events of the game.

On the other hand, Godefroy is the worst possible way to recycle content. You can't take such a unique boss, paint it blue, and say "hey look, it's his brother!". It's despair-inducing. And he isn't even the worst example...

Yeah I didn't mind seeing Margit again too much, but I wish they had made him an area appropriate challenge. He did less damage than trash mobs. Also if they gave him a couple of new moves or maybe a new summoned weapon I would have been totally behind that and wouldn't even have mentioned him in my rant.

The Godrick reskin (I honestly didn't even read that his name was different, I just thought it was Godrick again, like maybe his soul got imprisoned in the Evergaol or something) was just terrible all around, and not only for the reasons you mentioned - the fight is mechanically more boring than his first encounter, as he loses all of his 2nd phase attacks. Like what must be going through your head as a game designer to make you think "hey let's take that boss fight, but remove half the mechanics and make the player fight him again 30 hours later. Also change his name slightly, then they won't notice".

 

[Lutte]

the fight is mechanically more boring than his first encounter, as he loses all of his 2nd phase attacks

As much as I despise Godrick being recycled, lacking the phase 2 doesn't make him more boring, it makes him less weaksauce. Godrick becomes significantly more open to being attacked in phase 2.

 

[perfectslumbers]

somewhat forgive facing Margit multiple times

Facing Margit multiple times and having him go tryhard mode in the capital was a highlight imo. He's so much more memorable as a villain that hounds you and shows up later on than he'd be as a one off.

 

[Lutte]

somewhat forgive facing Margit multiple times

Facing Margit multiple times and having him go tryhard mode in the capital was a highlight imo. He's so much more memorable as a villain that hounds you and shows up later on than he'd be as a one off.

I felt it was a hell of a shounen anime moment, and the game surprisingly has multiple of them - like Ranni playing the tsundere archetype 100%.

 

[Bigg Boss]

Come on guys you are all really good at video games I promise.