From Software Elden Ring - From Software's new game with writing by GRRM

[Old Hans]

After getting to Atlas Plateau/Leyendel it seems that the game is starting to show its ugly side. Almost every single mob I encountered in the zone is just a level scaled version of shit I fought before (generic human soldiers, spear/shield knights, beastmen, harpies, those weird tumor fatasses I saw in Godrick's castle) the only new enemies I saw where the hunchback dudes near the big tree that puke instant death gas. Likewise most of the bosses/mini-bosses in the zone so far I have already seen before. Even a shittier version of Godrick and Margit (whom they forgot to level scale so he was hitting me for like 10% of my HP) make an appearance again.

I know that recycling a boss enemy as a regular mob later in the game is a common trope in action games, but Elden Ring is the first game I've played that does the opposite - first you encounter an enemy normally in the field, later the game repurposes said enemy as a boss fight. He does nothing new, yet now he had a boss lifebar and music for some reason, like this particular encounter is meant to be special. In one of the caves in the zone the boss were just 2 shrimp dudes that shoot homing spikes that I've already seen in several places and in one of those places I had to fight groups of 3-4 of them.

I'm still enjoying the game but it really is starting to feel too long for its own good. The variety of content does not support the huge open world it has.

I got more annoyed every time I see that re-used shed model.

 

[Andnjord]

And what if I told you that I killed Taurus Demon on the first try? What if I specced in a parry build, and took out Gwyn on the first try? You see what I am doing there kiddo?

Congratulations, that's no mean feat!

But you still died to Pinwheel.

 

[NJClaw]

Porky, do you get sexual pleasure from embarrassing yourself online? I'd like to know if I'm taking part in some kind of weird sexual fantasy.

Nice strawman attempt there, but you lack the intellectual horsepower to pull it off, bae. Playing a rather long game 6 times within a month or two since it came out, THAT, my idiot friend, is the sign of extreme stupidity. You are welcome.

Aren't you living on some social program in France? We have this thing called zeeee-job here in America.

Oh, I get it now. You're just lashing out because it makes you angry to know that people are out there having fun with their hobbies while you waste your days making money for faceless corporations. I feel your pain, man. I really do.

 

[Caim]

So I just found there's an entire dragonkin soldier quasi-boss fight in Siofra River. Just outright missed that portal. But because I killed the Black Blade Kindred two hours or so before that he wasn't much of a fight. Nice item behind him though.

The boss in the aqueduct is just a straight up DPS check to see if you can down the first one before the second one comes in. Could do with their poison breath attacks being a bit more visible though.

 

[Lyric Suite]

Well, seems like my online days are over. Been three days now i get constant connection errors, all the time, everywhere.

I used to get them before but only sporadically. Now it's non-stop. Fucking hell.

 

[Bigg Boss]

I've been getting framedrops that freeze the game from 50 fps to 16 fps then back to normal. PATCH COMING TO BREAK MORE SOON.

 

[Andnjord]

Well, seems like my online days are over. Been three days now i get constant connection errors, all the time, everywhere.

I used to get them before but only sporadically. Now it's non-stop. Fucking hell.

Yeah, shit's weird. I tried sunbroing for Fire Giant (apparently I was a sucker for punishment) a couple of weeks ago and could never get to phase two before disconnecting. Only once did it work only for me to eat a fireball to the face just before my dragonbreath rot finished him for the host. And then a few days ago I managed to help people against Godrick all evening bar a couple of disconnect just after the boss was dead, no Rune Arcs for me on those two kills

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

I've been getting framedrops that freeze the game from 50 fps to 16 fps then back to normal. PATCH COMING TO BREAK MORE SOON.

I randomly crash to desktop ever since the last update.

These nips would fuck up a ham sandwich I tell you they would yes I do.

 

[Sunri]

I've been getting framedrops that freeze the game from 50 fps to 16 fps then back to normal. PATCH COMING TO BREAK MORE SOON.

I randomly crash to desktop ever since the last update.

These nips would fuck up a ham sandwich I tell you they would yes I do.

Try to verify integrity of game files, it helped me after patch.

 

[Lyric Suite]

Maybe this will work:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Eldenring/comments/tnya1f/connection_error_returning_to_world_right_when_i/

I'll try it and report.

 

[Shackleton]

Malenia down finally, took me two nights to get her and I had to resort to summoning, swarm of flies and Rivers of Blood cheese. First part was no problem, but that second phase has some real high damage attacks. Even with 50 Vigor and the Veterans set I was being ripped apart. Still, with the help of a fellow Tarnished she's done and now onto the Ashen Capital for the last boss gauntlet.

Been a hell of a game, best thing I've played in ages but I must admit I'm going to be glad to see the end of it. The last couple of zones have been good, but Malenia has dulled my enthusiasm for more boss fights!

 

[Lyric Suite]

Nope, doesn't do shit.

Great.

 

[The Decline]

I'm so glad I got to the end game and no longer have to fight Crucible Knights

Spoiler

By that point in my playthrough he wasn't a big deal, probably because I was over leveled.

 

[Child of Malkav]

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Aren't you living on some social program in France? We have this thing called zeeee-job here in America.

You really think you're clever, but you've got that wrong.

To quote one of my childhood heroes, now you really seem upset.

You already wasted your time reading the thread multiple times and rating posts but somehow you couldn't spend the 2 seconds to write your fancy pants oneliner. Right. We believe you. Special kiddo.

It's a completely different thing, my angry friend. Anyone can spam ratings, all it takes is extending your hoof and half-heartedly pecking with it in the general vicinity of your foul food encrusted keyboard. Hell, Zed Doink of Banville probably shit-rates my posts during sex with his wife.

But to write out these beautiful shit-pearls of prose, that takes the Shakespeare of Shoutbox, the Bard of Lard, yours truly. Enjoy me while you can.

Congratulations, that's no mean feat!

But you still died to Pinwheel.

Ok, since you didn't seem to grasp my point, let me try another tack: how do we know that you didn't die several times to Pinwheel? All we have is your word. What if you are like one of those ultra-conservative senators railing and ranting against homosexuality and then getting picked up in a police operation, offering a bj to some dude in a public bathroom? What if you got so hurt by dying to Pinwheel that you now feel the need to belittle others for your own insecurities? Eh?

Porky, do you get sexual pleasure from embarrassing yourself online? I'd like to know if I'm taking part in some kind of weird sexual fantasy.

While it WOULD be the first time you took part in anything sexual, no I am afraid not. You see, the only one embarrassing yourself is you. I have destroyed every single one of your silly 3rd grade arguments, and now you have no recourse but to become more and more butthurt. Soon, you will join Zed and Di_X in negatively rating all of my posts. Perhaps the 3 of you will establish a rotating shift schedule, where one can shit-rate while the other 2 can do chores or read Gene Wolfe. It's not easy to face the full glory of Porky.

Oh, I get it now. You're just lashing out because it makes you angry to know that people are out there having fun with their hobbies while you waste your days making money for faceless corporations. I feel your pain, man. I really do.

I said I have a zeeeee-job (I know Generic-Giant-Spider will enjoy this one). I didn't say what kind of a zeeeee-job it was. For all you know, I could be working as a star in porn movies. But this is your problem NJCluck, you always assume. And considering your IQ levels, letting you assume things is kinda like giving a chimp an explosive toilet.

 

[Bigg Boss]

I've been getting framedrops that freeze the game from 50 fps to 16 fps then back to normal. PATCH COMING TO BREAK MORE SOON.

I randomly crash to desktop ever since the last update.

These nips would fuck up a ham sandwich I tell you they would yes I do.

I got my first hard crash to reboot after that last little update. Not sure.org. It could be me just finally being in the endgame areas they do not have optimized.

 

[Lyric Suite]

The only thing Martin added to the game is some nastiness the Japofags were too good natured to consider even in their "dark" fantasy setting.

 

[Old Hans]

I've been getting framedrops that freeze the game from 50 fps to 16 fps then back to normal. PATCH COMING TO BREAK MORE SOON.

I keep hoping there is some magic patch that stops the grass from popping in right Infront of me, and on a side note what is the deal with Japanese patch notes? its always really vague, like

-we changed the sword damage
-we changed some other stuff

 

[Andnjord]

Ok, since you didn't seem to grasp my point, let me try another tack: how do we know that you didn't die several times to Pinwheel? All we have is your word. What if you are like one of those ultra-conservative senators railing and ranting against homosexuality and then getting picked up in a police operation, offering a bj to some dude in a public bathroom? What if you got so hurt by dying to Pinwheel that you now feel the need to belittle others for your own insecurities? Eh?

And neither are you getting the point everyone is making at you. No one gives a flying fuck that you died to Pinwheel, we've all had our share of embarassment in these games, but everyone is laughing because you care so much about defending your honor in that regard. Had you just said something along the lines of "Yeah, I guess that was embarassing, right? Guess I had too much weed/alchohol/hot bitches/etc that night" the first time it was brought up and ignored it afterward that would have been the end of it.

Anyways, I'll leave you to fight with NJClaw and the others, they seem to enjoy this more than I do.

 

[Old Hans]

I'm so glad they got a successful fantasy author to collaborate with them for the game. Means there will be original content :D

Spoiler

Why the fuck am I in Ringed City?!

speaking of the fantasy Author. does anyone know if Martin created that character who sells you prawn? he def seems like a George R. R. Martin

 

[NJClaw]

Anyways, I'll leave you to fight with NJClaw and the others, they seem to enjoy this more than I do.

Fight? I won't beat up an old man. This is more of a eldercare situation.

 

[Sunri]

Elden Ring’s ‘Easy Mode’ Is One Of The Most Popular Mods Right Now

https://www.gamebyte.com/elden-ring-easy-mode/

https://www.nexusmods.com/eldenring/mods/146

 

[Bigg Boss]

I REALLY don't think the game needs to get easier when no matter how bad I play I can just out level the challenge. If you are one of the fags that whines about summons or weapon arts then don't use them. Fuck don't use the mount. Walk the entire game and see if you can SPEEDRUN it.

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

Wtf is your obsession with Gene Wolfe anyway? He uses big words and it confuses you?

Yes, PorkyThePopamole complained that he reads books for entertainment, preferring "fun" authors such as Brandon Sanderson, and found The Book of the New Sun to be unengaging because, for someone of Porky's elevated intellect, it would, by his own admission, require three re-reads, copious note-taking, and a doctorate in literature to uncover the fascinating elements.

"On the surface level, it is just about the dullest story ever told, a confusing as hell tale of a time traveling dolt, stumbling around the world without any seeming point or purpose, yet firmly on a path to save the world, somehow at the same time. Nothing in it makes any coherent sense without first analyzing the shit out of it and re-reading a bunch of times."

Furthermore, according to Porky, The Book of the New Sun is a triumph of style over substance, consisting of glittery prose and an intricate puzzle but without any enjoyment to be found in the concepts, characters, or story.

And apparently he was so butthurt over it that not only did he ping me in his assessment of The Book of the New Sun after finally completing it but he still insists on raising the topic in completely irrelevant threads.

 

[Old Hans]

im currently seeing how far I can get with a soul level 1 character and once I reach my breaking point im just gonna invest everything into hit points forever