Sorry, friendos, the Porkmeister was busy with RL shit the last couple of days and couldn't shitpost to his fullest potential.
To catch up though, the argument above between normal players and mediocrepoot basically boils down to this:
Normal RPG players like myself want to play in a logically consistent world, where enemies play by the same rules as the player, and use the same moves, abilities, etc. This forces the combat system to be elegant and similar to RL combat systems. Mediocrepoot, otoh, is fine with playing some arcade-like experience where he is just jumping through developer hoops, jump now, dodge now, apply salve now, etc. So in the former scenario, the player feels like they are becoming an elite combatant within the context of a cool combat system, and in the latter, you are just being a good Pavlov's Dog.
However, worry not mediocrepoot, I have far more important news: the Porkman has just defeated the 2nd hardest boss in ER by popular consensus - Malekeith the Blade Bladder:
This motherfucker, as much as I like to whine about the other bosses, was truly designed in a retarded way. The first phase was just boring, though I don't envy you rollers with his attack spam, but the 2nd phase? Full on retardation. An elephant sized fuck hopping around like a fucking cockroach, climbing pillars, non-stop pew pewing fucking lazers from the air, exploding shit when you come up behind him, what the flying fuck?
Goes without saying his 2nd phase was made to ruin my build. A shield is pretty much useless against him unless you can find one with almost 100% holy and physical defense, which I did not have. The fuckers lazers and attacks go through my greatshield like a fucking knife through butter and destroy me in 2-3 hits/shots WITH fucking blocking. And the way he hops and flies around, half his attacks go around the shield anyway.
So anyway, I had enough of this shit, and didn't even want to think about learning his routine for rolling, with all his constant diarrhea of attacks, would've probably taken a week. Since From Software didn't respek my build enough to make it viable, I just did the sensible thing, and used a Mimic Tear ash for the first time. As you can see in the video, its most important job was tanking the crazy superfly while I got some attacks in, though it did some damage too. But then the Male Keith offed the mimic tear, the cheeky cunt, and I almost shat my pants. But fortunately I was able to roll forward under his attack, and did some serious damage between his legs. Almost died a couple of times, not gonna lie, but in the end, the Porkmeister reigns supreme yet again. Time for the final bitch, Melania.
