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Grand Theft Automobile IV: A Game For Commies

SuicideBunny

(ノ ゜Д゜)ノ ︵ ┻━┻
Joined
May 1, 2007
Messages
8,943
Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Torment: Tides of Numenera
Kaiserin said:
OMG YA'LL DON'T LIKE SOMETHING THAT EVERYBODY ELSE DOES! YA'LL MUST BE LIKE SO MUCH COOLER THEN!
today i crossed over to the other islands even though they aren't unlocked yet (ain't that far out in the game) i went onto the metro rails, and drove with a bike to the other side. in the middle of the bridge, even though the cops couldn't see me, and line of sight was broken from the start, the maximum alarm went off. i contiuned into the tunnels on the other side, outside of the wanted circle, no line of sight, no cops, 10 seconds ran out, wanted level reset itself immediately to max level with a new circle around me, and a broken line of sight. that's just stupid.

i really hate being slapped for exploring because of shitty design decisions.
 

Kaiserin

Liturgist
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
4,082
SuicideBunny said:
today i crossed over to the other islands even though they aren't unlocked yet (ain't that far out in the game) i went onto the metro rails, and drove with a bike to the other side. in the middle of the bridge, even though the cops couldn't see me, and line of sight was broken from the start, the maximum alarm went off. i contiuned into the tunnels on the other side, outside of the wanted circle, no line of sight, no cops, 10 seconds ran out, wanted level reset itself immediately to max level with a new circle around me, and a broken line of sight. that's just stupid.

i really hate being slapped for exploring because of shitty design decisions.

I'm not saying it's perfect or anything, but saying 'feh boring shit, sold it,' without an explanation is lame.

And taking 'everyone' literally in HAI GUYZ all caps context is retarded.
 

Chefe

Erudite
Joined
Feb 26, 2005
Messages
4,731
Kaiserin said:
I'm not saying it's perfect or anything, but saying 'feh boring shit, sold it,' without an explanation is lame.

These are not in order.

1. Washed out look with bland color pallet.
2. No decent songs, no decent DJs on the radio. Commercials also suck.
3. Every character except Niko is a bland, unfunny stereotype.
4. The story is dull and offers no challenge.
5. Driving controls are horrendous.
6. Liberty city doesn't have one unique spot. Every place looks the same. It was a helluva lot more fun in GTA3.
7. The accents of the main characters are so heavy I can barely understand any of them. They're also ear-piercingly annoying.
8. Dirty bloom effect. Goes with complaint #1.
9. No weapon stats.
10. Can't swim underwater.
11. The cellphone is an annoying and cumbersome feature, which just happens to be required.
12. Strip joints. Lamest thing in the game.
13. Did I mention how this game was too fucking easy? I took out an entire city block and half a dozen cop cars with a goddamn pistol.
14. People, including Niko, can take an absurd amount of bullets before they fall.
15. The radio stations suck. This deserves a second mention.
16. Main character has no real motivation. I never thought too much about going to SF or LV in San Andreas because I was interested in the story. All I could think during GTA4 was "when am I going to get the hell out of this dump?"
17. Horrible camera, even for a GTA game.
18. Sex and penis jokes. They're on billboards, radiostations, bars, bowling alleys, everything. I GET IT! You guys thinks pee pees and balls are funny. Grow the fuck up. They're the only jokes in the game, and you know what? They're not funny.
19. Dumbass achievements. I got one for starting the game, and I got another one for answering my cellphone. Unbelievable.
20. No Tommy Vercetti.

I've heard too many horror stories about NBA Live 08. Actually, I traded it in for the latest alien blasting, lesbian loving Bioware masterpiece.
 

MetalCraze

Arcane
Joined
Jul 3, 2007
Messages
21,104
Location
Urkanistan
@SuicideBunny: that's why exploration in Mafia was much much better. you could lose cops by riding the train far far away or by switching cars while cops don't see you - there was no "all-seeing cops" bs.
I just hope that Mafia 2 won't be shit when it arrives.

oh and yes GTA4 playlist looks like a compilation of 2005-2008-popular-hits-for-kids that you've heard for 1000 times on the radio. previous GTAs had much better radio channels.

Angler said:
Dumbass achievements. I got one for starting the game, and I got another one for answering my cellphone. Unbelievable.

bahaha well done, Rockstar.
 

Castanova

Prophet
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
2,949
Location
The White Visitation
Now, now, folks. It's not like GTA4 is a steaming pile of shit. As per usual with the GTA games, it's an incredible technical achievement with some very amusing sandbox gameplay and a largely irrelevant single player campaign. Is anyone surprised?
 

Kaiserin

Liturgist
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
4,082
1. Washed out look with bland color pallet.
2. No decent songs, no decent DJs on the radio. Commercials also suck.
15. The radio stations suck. This deserves a second mention.
17. Horrible camera, even for a GTA game.

Agreed on all counts.

3. Every character except Niko is a bland, unfunny stereotype.

You just didn't get far enough then. It's very rare that I see closeted homosexuals portraying themselves as alpha males in video games, or troubled tough guys that start spilling their guts about child abuse when you get them drunk.

4. The story is dull and offers no challenge.

The story is a slow start, I'll give you that. I'm personally glad that many of the missions aren't as ludicrously frustrating as they were in SA/VC. I'm not talking about getting shot to death either, I'm talking about the bullshit we were subjected to with those shitty Zero missions and stuff like it.

5. Driving controls are horrendous.

Only if you suck. :lol:

9. No weapon stats.
10. Can't swim underwater.
12. Strip joints. Lamest thing in the game.
19. Dumbass achievements. I got one for starting the game, and I got another one for answering my cellphone. Unbelievable.

Who cares? I mean, besides you obviously. Who gives a shit about clam diving or staring at simulated asses?

18. Sex and penis jokes. They're on billboards, radiostations, bars, bowling alleys, everything. I GET IT! You guys thinks pee pees and balls are funny. Grow the fuck up. They're the only jokes in the game, and you know what? They're not funny.

Simply not true, it's got jokes about fat people, political issues, celebrity worship, homos, and a reasonable variety of other stuff. If you would have said that it was heavy on cock jokes as opposed to 'they're the only jokes in the game', I'd agree.

That all being said, thanks for sharing your opinion beyond 'it sucks, I hate it.'
 

HanoverF

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Nov 23, 2002
Messages
6,083
MCA Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Codex USB, 2014 Divinity: Original Sin 2
To add to Chefe/Killerontheroad/Angler's list

This game reeks of excluded content to rake in more money later. Except for a mission locations the gameworld feels empty.

No real sense of purpose/achievement (I guess that's what the lame X-box things are supposed to provide) you go from being an errand boy to... an errand boy, but better paid. But money is useless unless you suk at shooting (l2p). You're supposed to be out for revenge, but don't really do much about it.

Driving controls are horrendous. Deserves another mention. Certain cars flip over taking corners at slow speeds. Even when NPCs drive them. A car made a left turn in front of me and flipped on its roof in the middle of the intersection. And shooting while driving, you're never quite sure where you're going to shoot until you shoot so the aim cursor shows up.
 

DarkUnderlord

Professional Throne Sitter
Staff Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2002
Messages
28,358
Angler said:
9. No weapon stats.
If you mean that stupid levelling up shit they had in San Andreas, that's a good thing.

Angler said:
10. Can't swim underwater.
What? That's annoying. I always thought the one thing San Andreas really needed (apart from skateboarding and rollerblades) was a submarine and a set of scuba gear.

Angler said:
13. Did I mention how this game was too fucking easy? I took out an entire city block and half a dozen cop cars with a goddamn pistol.
:(

Angler said:
18. Sex and penis jokes. They're on billboards, radiostations, bars, bowling alleys, everything. I GET IT! You guys thinks pee pees and balls are funny. Grow the fuck up. They're the only jokes in the game, and you know what? They're not funny.
That got old in San Andreas too.

Angler said:
19. Dumbass achievements. I got one for starting the game, and I got another one for answering my cellphone. Unbelievable.
That's why you don't buy console games.
 

Kingston

Arcane
Joined
Jan 13, 2007
Messages
4,392
Location
I lack the wit to put something hilarious here
Omg why cant u guys just apprecciate what these guys at rockstars have done? y do u have to nitpick every little thing u dont agree with ffs its a game not an essay. it got 10 from every reviewer im pretty sure they no better than u guys hah maybe u just suck in the game and are pissed off cos ur mama is better lol

So, the game isn't as good as the hype suggested? My gosh, what a twist.
 

Fat Dragon

Arbiter
Joined
May 24, 2007
Messages
3,499
Location
local brothel
Angler said:
1. Washed out look with bland color pallet.
The only time it looks "washed out" is during the morning time, everything else looks great.
2. No decent songs, no decent DJs on the radio. Commercials also suck.
It has plenty of good songs, it's just that most of them aren't big hit songs like the past GTA games chose to use.
3. Every character except Niko is a bland, unfunny stereotype.
The only stereotype character that comes to mind is Florian Cravic.
4. The story is dull and offers no challenge.
No more dull than the past GTA games' storylines. None have been all that great. At least GTA 4 actually managed to make me feel bad when the character
Roman
died because I chose to be a greedy bastard instead of taking the other option given to me.
5. Driving controls are horrendous.
No, you just suck at them. I have no problem driving through the city, it works very good.
6. Liberty city doesn't have one unique spot. Every place looks the same. It was a helluva lot more fun in GTA3.
Have you even been to every part of the city yet? Every place doesn't "look the same".
7. The accents of the main characters are so heavy I can barely understand any of them. They're also ear-piercingly annoying.
Bitching about the accents now, huh? So what is a Jamaican or Slavic guy supposed to sound like?
8. Dirty bloom effect. Goes with complaint #1.
Bloom looks good to me. It never once made me eyes hurt like other games such as Oblivion did.
9. No weapon stats.
I'm thankful. Niko is an ex-military soldier, it would be retarded if he wasn't any better with a gun than your average street gangster
10. Can't swim underwater.
Oh yes, those one or two missions in San Andreas where you had to swim underwater were incredibly awesome. Besides those two or three boring missions in San Andreas, underwater swimming was a pointless feature.
11. The cellphone is an annoying and cumbersome feature, which just happens to be required.
Must be just you then. I don't find it annoying at all, and it comes in useful at times, like calling Jacob to bring you weapons so you don't have to drive across the whole city to the gunshop.
12. Strip joints. Lamest thing in the game.
So then just don't go to them. It's not a big deal. The only time you're ever required to go to one is when Dwayne hires you kill a strip joint's managers, and the other time is to accept a mission for Ray.
13. Did I mention how this game was too fucking easy? I took out an entire city block and half a dozen cop cars with a goddamn pistol.
Difficulty was just right to me. The game is a lot more difficult when you're fighting something other than unarmed civilians and cops with pistols. The past GTA games were only hard because the shooting controls fucking sucked, causing your guy to get the piss shot out of him while you're struggling to target the right enemy.
14. People, including Niko, can take an absurd amount of bullets before they fall.
That's how GTA games have always been. The series is more arcadish than realistic. Besides, if an enemy catches you off guard with an SMG or shotgun he can wear you out pretty quickly. You can wear them out just as quickly once you get a weapon other than the puny pistol.
15. The radio stations suck. This deserves a second mention.
Please don't relist something a second time just to make your list seem longer.
16. Main character has no real motivation. I never thought too much about going to SF or LV in San Andreas because I was interested in the story. All I could think during GTA4 was "when am I going to get the hell out of this dump?"
How far have you made it in the game? Nico works with the people he does because
they can help him find the person that betrayed his army unit, something that pretty much ruined his life. If you'd made it more than 5 hours into the game, Niko tells Roman this right after he kills Vlad.
17. Horrible camera, even for a GTA game.
Camera works fine for me.
18. Sex and penis jokes. They're on billboards, radiostations, bars, bowling alleys, everything. I GET IT! You guys thinks pee pees and balls are funny. Grow the fuck up. They're the only jokes in the game, and you know what? They're not funny.
This your first GTA game? They were present in the other ones as well. And as somebody mentioned earlier, there are a lot more different types of jokes then just dick jokes.
19. Dumbass achievements. I got one for starting the game, and I got another one for answering my cellphone. Unbelievable.
I don't see what the big deal is, every Xbox game has these.
20. No Tommy Vercetti.
Thank god, too. He was more boring of a character than GTA 3's protagonist. Thankfully Sam Houser made it perfectly clear a while back that we'll never see Tommy again.
HanoverF said:
This game reeks of excluded content to rake in more money later. Except for a mission locations the gameworld feels empty.
All dlc is supposed to be a ten hour long or so story arc. Cutting something minor out of a game is one thing (horse armor) but do you really think they'd cut 10 hours of game out just for dlc?
You're supposed to be out for revenge, but don't really do much about it.
I guess that's why Niko chooses to work for all of those people in exchange for info on the two people his looking for, and gets really pissed of at them when they take forever in getting him that info.
Certain cars flip over taking corners at slow speeds.
Maybe when you try to turn sharp while going 75, but turning while driving slowly will cause it to turn pretty smoothly. It's not that hard to turn going fast either, as long as you remember to let off the gas and use the brake.
And shooting while driving, you're never quite sure where you're going to shoot until you shoot so the aim cursor shows up.
Like real life, you're going to sacrifice some driving control if you want to shoot at somebody. It worked fine to me. It's much better than how it was in the past GTA games.
 

Gnidrologist

CONDUCTOR
Joined
Aug 30, 2005
Messages
20,857
Location
is cold
Ooh, a fanboy/antifanboy rage. Video game extremism is fun.
As for:
6. Liberty city doesn't have one unique spot. Every place looks the same. It was a helluva lot more fun in GTA3.
Dunno about gta4, but i've just recently fired up originanl gta3 and hafta say - it's so completely dull and repetitive in comparison with Vice City and SA. No contest at all. Haven't yet unlocked any new parts though.
 

Chefe

Erudite
Joined
Feb 26, 2005
Messages
4,731
I was asked why I didn't like the game indirectly, and I answered. I'm just comparing it to the previous 3 GTAs, especially SA, the only one I saw to through the end.

... but I'll bite and reply to a few of these, because some aren't just a matter of taste.

DarkUnderlord said:
Angler said:
18. Sex and penis jokes.[/i]
That got old in San Andreas too.

Unless we played a different San Andreas, it was never so prominent, and it was never the central theme to almost every joke. What got old in San Andreas was the overuse of "fuck" to try and sound ghetto.

Fat Dragon said:
Angler said:
1. Washed out look with bland color pallet.
The only time it looks "washed out" is during the morning time, everything else looks great.

The only time it doesn't look washed out is for a few moments in the middle of the afternoon. Well, I will say the night doesn't look washed out, because they removed all graphical effects (including darkness, lolrockstar). This is the only game where I thought the night was ugly.

4. The story is dull and offers no challenge.
No more dull than the past GTA games' storylines. None have been all that great. At least GTA 4 actually managed to make me feel bad when the character X died because I chose to be a greedy bastard instead of taking the other option given to me.[/quote]

He dies? Thank God.

Maybe the past storylines haven't been the pinnacle of literature, but they have been engaging.

5. Driving controls are horrendous.
No, you just suck at them. I have no problem driving through the city, it works very good.[/quote]

No, they suck.

14. People, including Niko, can take an absurd amount of bullets before they fall.
That's how GTA games have always been.[/quote]

When you or the opponent have maxed out body armor, yes. That's not the case here.

15. The radio stations suck. This deserves a second mention.
Please don't relist something a second time just to make your list seem longer.[/quote]

It's my list, and it's that important to me, so I gave it two spots.

19. Dumbass achievements. I got one for starting the game, and I got another one for answering my cellphone. Unbelievable.
I don't see what the big deal is, every Xbox game has these.[/quote]

Even Oblivion required you to do something to get an achievement. They might have been incredibly easy, but they never just gave you a few for the hell of it.
 

User was nabbed fit

Guest
Oh shit, there are a few achievements that are "gimmes". So just like in nearly every other Xbox game then...

On the other hand, there are more challenging ones than those that only require you to finish a specific mission for example.
 

Micmu

Magister
Joined
Aug 20, 2005
Messages
6,163
Location
ALIEN BASE-3
Nono, that's what "appealing to lowest common denominator" really means nowadays - reward even the least bright players - those who are able to insert the disc properly.
 

Trash

Pointing and laughing.
Joined
Dec 12, 2002
Messages
29,683
Location
About 8 meters beneath sea level.
GTA IV is a logical continuation of the franchise. If you didn't like the GTA games you won't like this one. If you do like them you will probably enjoy it. If you go on a forum and make a list of every bad point you could come up with you're just trying to be controversial for the sake of it.
 

Kingston

Arcane
Joined
Jan 13, 2007
Messages
4,392
Location
I lack the wit to put something hilarious here
I've played most GTAs, and the first one still crowns as the winner. It was a huge thrill and the missions were *gasp* exciting and not all that serious either. I remeber that people (including your character) died pretty easy which made things like big gang fight mission pretty darn epic. I can't help but feel that charm is lost.
 

User was nabbed fit

Guest
Even Yahtzee gives it a good review.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/article ... ft-Auto-IV

I agree with him though... having to take your friends to places is a pain in the ass. If it was optional (i.e. you call them up, and only you) and it didn't incur any penalties in your friendship if you didn't, that'd have been much cooler.
 

Nicolai

DUMBFUCK
Joined
Mar 8, 2003
Messages
3,219
Location
Yonder
what the game needs more of is

Q.v. also the wheelchair that now all of a sudden shoots down the hillside's van's ramp as a madly squeaking brass-colored blur, a snowplow-like scoop-type thing welded to it and out front skimming the ground and throwing off chaff from the swath of grass it's mowing, moving terrifically fast, brakes unapplied, the legless figure up on burly stumps in the chair fleur-de-lis-with-sword-stem-masked and bent far forward for a skier's pure speed, the huddled fetal hillside figures the speeding chair slaloms, the dim glittered movements of arrangement for reception deep within the curbside van way at the bottom of the steep grade, the engineer arching his neck way out to capture sun on the scarred hollows under his jaw, the shopping cart with the calculator clipped by a squeaking rubberized wheel at an angle and sent clattering off down the hillside, spraying possessions, the homeless shoe to which it had been roped skittering empty behind it and the cart's now shoeless unconscious owner just waving at the air in front of his face in sleep as if at a bad D.T.-dream of lost shoe and worldly goods, the calculating cart whumping into the side of the hunched man vomiting and flipping over and bouncing several times and the vomiting man rolling and yelping, vulgarities echoing, the WYYY engineer now to be seen hiking himself up on a chill-reddened elbow with a start and starting to turn and look above and behind him up at the ridge just as the speeding wheelchair with the hunched figure reaches him and the chair's shovel scoops the engineer and his NASA blanket and shirt and book up and runs over the glasses and bottle of M. Fizzy with one wheel and bears the engineer in the scoop up and away and down the steep grade toward the idling van at the bottom, a van whose own angled ramp now slides out like a tongue or Autoteller's transaction-receipt, the NASA blanket blowing away from the scooped engineer's flailing form about halfway down and suddenly aloft in a hillside thermal and blown far out over Arlington St. traffic by the keen November wind, the madly squeaking wheelchair aloft over hillside moguls and coming back down and up again, the snatched engineer in the chair's scoop appearing to the hillside's roused figures mostly as a hallucinatory waggle of bare limbs and strangely wheezy shrieks for Help or at least to Look Out Below, all as the modified chair squeaks frantically straight down the hillside's most efficient downward line toward the van with the ramp now idling in gear, its pipe's exhaust beating the street in high-rpm idle, the NASA blanket twisting co-ruscant in the air high above the street, and the shriek-roused figures on the hillside lying there still bent in and barely moving, stiff with cold and general woe, except for the hunched man, the unwell man who'd been hit by the dislodged cart, who's rolled to a stop and is thrashing, holding the parts that were hit.
 

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