Grimoire Thread

[oldmanpaco]

Day 1 Purchase! In fact I already wasted 6 hours on sleep and taking care of the kids. Stupid kids.

 

[Bigg Boss]

Practically asking to be pirated by the unwashed masses with such a paltry file size. Add a bunch of high def placeholder text of titties and man meat.

 

[Makabb]

Cleve now that you released Grimoire, remember that a true Neanderthal never grows restless, for it only takes for evil men to triumph so that good men do nothing.

It's time to start working on Grimoire 2

 

[Bumvelcrow]

Drog Black Tooth if you are saying your dick is too short for you to suck it yourself, just use a fucking straw or something. You can't back out of this now

I was in the local DIY shop earlier and they sell hosepipes and brass fittings which could be converted into a suitable device with sufficient skill. Not sure if it strictly covers the terms of the agreement, but I think that in the general atmosphere of euphoria we'll all give a little ground.

 

[TheGameSquid]

Because of all the shitposting I almost forgot to say congrats Cleve for finally releasing this monster.
It looks like it's currently a buggy piece of shit but at least you finally had the courage to release it!

 

[SophosTheWise]

?SQUIRREL?

 

[Whiny-Butthurt-Liberal]

I might actually buy this garbage, once the sheeple have finished play-testing this early alpha build and the million bug fixes required for this game to become playable are implemented.

I assume Cleve will finally be dead of old age, so I will rest easy in knowing that he won't be getting my money.

 

[HubU]

Available for pirates. No protection at all.
Just like catching AIDS.

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

The reviews are down to 44% negative already. Folks are catching up.

 

[Zorba the Hutt]

Practically asking to be pirated by the unwashed masses with such a paltry file size. Add a bunch of high def placeholder text of titties and man meat.

And the unwashed masses insist on posting on Cleve's forums...

 

[TheGameSquid]

By the way, did someone notify the Guiness Book of World Records already? Looks like DNF just lost its claim to the throne.

 

[Namutree]

Okay, I've never read the manuals for Steam games, but I suspect I will be in for a hard time if I play Grimiore without reading it.

Since I don't read manuals on steam I don't know how to access them. So... How do I access the manual?

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

I'd like to take a moment to point out that there is no evidence homo neanderthalensis ever created any art or was even capable of symbolic thinking. They had no written language and the only evidence that they even had a spoken language or were even capable of speech was that they somehow interacted with homo sapiens. They were also much shorter than homo sapiens.

 

[D!!]

Another gem to my precious Wine Gaming collection.

 

[torpid]

Baxander is carried away unconscious, KO'ed in the 20th round by Cleve's right hand hidden behind a few missed-release-date jabs...

Drog "AutoFellator" Black Tooth steps up as the new challenger!

 

[SausageInYourFace]

The reviews are down to 44% negative already. Folks are catching up.

Some of the reviews are bredy gud tho.

It would appear my simple, plebeian mind cannot handle the shock of this extreme experience, as I've been rendered mute and had to type this one handed since the left side of my body shut down. Luckily, Cleve foresaw this. The game is fully playable with the mouse alone, so while my left arm dangles by my side and drool falls from the mouth that I cannot keep closed, my gaming experience remains undeterred.

The more I play, the more I realise I no longer need this spongy human form keeping me tethered to this mortal plane. The "graphical glitches" that make it seem as though there are unexplored areas to my side are in reality the game trying to confuse my sense of direction further; the "mouse lock" I keep feeling is simply me falling unconscious briefly; and the repetition of button presses to make part of the UI work are just me perceiving time in a whole new way. I only pressed it once, but it felt like a thousand times.

Though it would appear I've only played half an hour of this game, I assure you it was longer. This game has changed my physiology for the better, and I finally feel as though I am who I was born to be, for the first time.

The Incline can help you understand as well.

 

[Falksi]

£27? Waited this long, can wait until the sales.

 

[HanoverF]

I'd like to take a moment to point out that there is no evidence homo neanderthalensis ever created any art or was even capable of symbolic thinking. They had no written language and the only evidence that they even had a spoken language or were even capable of speech was that they somehow interacted with homo sapiens. They were also much shorter than homo sapiens.

Sape propaganda

 

[Abu Antar]

Available for pirates. No protection at all.
Just like catching AIDS.

Should have used DENUVO. Would have sold double the amount of copies currently sold.

 

[Moonrise]

They were also much shorter than homo sapiens.

Compact. The word you're looking for is compact. A 'thal could take a mammoth tusk to the gut and live to tell the tale.

 

[Drog Black Tooth]

Thinking of buying the game just to leave a negative review and refund.

But then again, I'd get taxed for a few dollars by Valve.

 

[fantadomat]

To be honest i do love joking about Cleve and his magnum opus,and i will even pirate the game to see if i like it,but shit reviewing for no reasons is petty and shitty thing to do.

 

[Lord Andre]

Cleveland Mark Blakemore

Hey boss, is there a way to split a stack of items in 2. Like if I have 10 throwing daggers can I make 2 stacks of 5 ?

 

[Robert Jarzebina]

I'd like to take a moment to point out that there is no evidence homo neanderthalensis ever created any art or was even capable of symbolic thinking. They had no written language and the only evidence that they even had a spoken language or were even capable of speech was that they somehow interacted with homo sapiens. They were also much shorter than homo sapiens.

 

[PrettyDeadman]

Cleve should forbid repurchasing the game for people who dared to refund it.
They are clearly too ungrateful to bask in Grimoire Glory.