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PART 1
2008
I'm gonna jump right in and start by recounting some of the first experiences I had in the industry. I'd done more art than I had music, code or writing prior to starting Primordia - so I used this "main skill" to try to get a foothold in the industry, in and around 2008 & 2009. I was trying to hustle jobs wherever I could, mainly as a concept artist on other people's indie projects.
I found myself working on a project called Cyclopean - a Lovecraft inspired RPG. However I was being asked to redo concepts over, and over, and over. The project lead from that ended up blaming me & the other artists on the team in a roundabout way for it's failure - but my little brother had watched me laboriously repaint the same Ziggurat & evil onion ten times for this guy when it was pretty much *great* the first time around - so my brother knew the *real* deal there. Even if the lead dev couldn't face his own shortcomings. I was met with a pretty similar experience on my next "work for hire" job which featured robotic protagonist that of course appealed to me but I was outta there pretty quickly too when it became apparent I was going to be sidelined by, what *I* felt, was poor project management and the same endless redrafting ad nauseum as Cyclopean had me fumbling around with. I did take one very important thing away from that though - the original rejected concept art for Viktor. I also left with a strong desire to lead a team better than these guys.
It was during these ultimately fruitless experiences that I thought *I* might be able to lead a team, and get a project over the line. I wanted to allow my team mates ideas on board even if I didn't 100% gel with them myself - if I could keep strong work - but also somehow get the *work* to gel - then we might just have something special on our hands. We might actually just, you know, release a cool game.
2009
My developers log at the time really sums this philosophy up - looking back - I wish I had used this sheet as my bible from there on out & as a prologue for my studio. It pretty much encapsulates my thoughts and feelings going into forming the original Wormwood Studios & of course hugely informing my game design philosophy itself. But I barely remembered it until I looked back over all my old archives recently. I loved the work I was coming up with; even if the people I was volunteering for back then didn't. My game assets weren't being utilized. Who cares if they don't fit your exact vision? Isn't just getting the GAME MADE, paramount? Regardless - that's what I was thinking at the time. Perhaps it is naive looking back, but I think my heart & mind were in the right place. I think I *was* onto something back then.
Anyway, directly after this early experience in the industry at large - in late 2009 I did a few experiments in Adventure Game Studio, creating my own point and click adventure games. Notably a horror game experiment set in an old train station. Very Silent Hill-esque. I thought it had some pretty interesting spell creation mechanics to help the player solve obstacles & puzzles. There was also this short game I made from start to finish called "Trial of the Schnellersparrow" which I did solo in a couple of weeks, all said and done. This gave me the confidence to try something bigger and better & really throw my hat into the ring for the first time.
2010
I began work on Primordia early 2010 and set about creating something like Trial of the Schnellersparrow - but bigger in scope and scale & made over the course of a few months, as opposed to the few weeks I'd set for myself on the last project. Fallout, BASS, and a few others post apocalyptic games along with an obsession for ROBOTS helped inform my early worldbuilding.
RECORD SCRATCH But I wasn't born hustling jobs in the games world - so let's rewind a few years and just have a quick gaze at my earlier days - before all this. (REWIND SOUNDS)
Things were pretty tough growing up. My parents split when I was 2. My Mum met my StepDad who's a computer scientist & sound engineer. I split my time from that point on between family and my bio dad who was an abusive alcoholic, but luckily for me one of his friends gave me my first Nintendo Game & Watch, he also lent me a C64 at age 10 - because we couldn't afford much at home. The first time I saw Monkey Island it was displayed on a giant CRT television in my friend Lawrence's attic. That blew my mind back in '92. My Mum was a seamstress, and I think in modern terms you'd simply call her a "creative". Mum and I used to design & make clothes together - she'd make the patterns and sew them, and I'd airbrush paintings on them. We did a lot of art together, Annette and I.
Years later when I met my best friend in art school, we made a pact to always do art and music together (25+ years and still going strong by the way). Although back then I was also still somewhat tied to my Mum's apron strings. That would change in 2005 when my Mum committed suicide due to her abusive childhood & inner demons. It was beyond devastating having her leave me as my world was also gone overnight. After that I'm not really *me* anymore. My artwork became pretty dark around then, and never really switched back to the the cute & happy stuff I was painting before that. I think my best mate from art school was my rock back then. I don't think I really understood at all, or even registered what a deep effect that had, at a time where I was really just starting to figure out who I was. The next couple of years are a blur, but I know I lost myself almost entirely. We'll touch more on how deeply this event impacted me on a fundamental level a bit later.
RECORD SCRATCH But I wasn't born hustling jobs in the games world - so let's rewind a few years and just have a quick gaze at my earlier days - before all this. (REWIND SOUNDS)
2009
So that's how I eventually came to creating the world of Primordia. The story of two robots on a mission across a dead & machine strewn nuke-sterilized wasteland, from their airship home, past a huge buried robot in the sand to a vast city & tower where they'd recover a McGuffin, and defeat the Big Bad. It was a pretty simple hero's journey idea for a game in a style I thought I wanted to explore more, stemming off from my previous work. It called back to ideas I'd also had years earlier of a "Milo & Otis" style adventure game featuring two robots in an alternate WW2 setting. That idea, married with the world building I'd developed in Trial of the Schnellersparrow became the core of what would become the world, story & characters of Primordia.
So I started mapping out the game world, landscape, walkable backgrounds, thumbnails, assets as well as more character concepts etc, and also making a working game build. I used these assets & test build to try to entice people to join up with my new fledgling game project team. I was just calling it "Robot Game" at that point in time, as a placeholder.
I put out a call on the AGS forums and received several responses from writers, musicians, & voice actors. Among which was a prospective email from Mark Yohalem. I had several choices, but I felt having a Harvard Educated Lawyer on board could help my budding game development studio down the line. In hindsight I think that influenced my decision to select Mark as my dialogue writer for Primordia over several of the other candidates that had emailed me at the time. Regardless, I sent Mark the full portfolio of world-building I had done for Primordia so far. He was impressed, and started sending me story notes and ideas to flesh out the game immediately, & fill in the areas I either wasn't confident in, or felt I didn't have the time to create. My two main responsibilities were as lead dev & director, but I wasn't quite as confident in my skills across the board as far as game development goes, back then.
So the team and I began working and building from each other's ideas, Mark writing according to my designs & concept, with progress on Primordia sailing along at a pretty rapid pace for a few months. I hired (& paid out of pocket) several voice actors who I had in mind for specific roles during the project's inception. At that time I also made another small point and click game solo, called Beacon, over the course of a few days. It's a pretty simple, tiny underwater version of Primordia. A little robot helps a crashed re-entry capsule pilot not die after an unexpected touch down at sea. This visual storytelling was what led me to create scenes like the one with Horatio and Crispin boarding the train to Metropol. I'd animated Horatio stepping on the caboose, then realized Crispin would actually be physically left behind in the game engine. The simplest solution for me was just having Horatio grab Crispin around his middle and hold onto his friend for the ride. It was a happy accidental hug & I added the closeup after that as a result. It wasn't a familial embrace though - just of one friend helping another. I mean, who knows what may have happened if I'd written the dialogue for these two as well. I think it's safe to say though - you're all gonna find out more about experiments like that pretty soon.
I write my own dialogue for games now, and design my own puzzles. It's actually a bit faster, and I think fits my own work better overall. But back then I was pretty nervous about my writing skills. I felt I needed some help to actually write the lines I needed to push my story and characters forward in Primordia, and the projects that would follow in the coming years as well, to a certain extent. I told Mark on a couple of occasions not to expand *too* much on the backstory & lore for Primordia, as I'd just hired him to write dialogue for my characters. Which he did.
In late 2010, feeling the weight of development - I emailed someone who had given me advice earlier in the year about programming, James, and I invited him officially to join the budding Primordia team, full time. We were now well into the development of the city I'd envisioned early on, now called "Metropol" - although I'd very firmly insisted on the name Primordia for the game itself, when Mark floated "Pursuit of Power" to me.
2011
The start of 2011 kicked off with Mark sending details for a new game of his that he wanted to pitch to studios called "Star Captain". While working on Primordia, I started creating art & music assets to help Mark with his pitch. It was also at this time that Mark informed me he was bypassing me, and sending files directly to James from now on to implement in the build.
January also marked the entry of Dave Gilbert from Wadjet Eye Games into the picture, he contacted me via the AGS forums regarding his publishing my game. I *was* interested, as Dave had made a bit of a name for himself by then. Having a team mate on board that also happened to have skills in the law, I naturally asked for Mark's advice regarding the details of the contract, as well as discussing a few other details of what any contract between me and Dave might include. However- Mark benefitting from this contract meant his advice was never neutral. To be clear though, I was still just in talks with Dave about any deal with Wadjet.
Key among my considerations taking on Wadjet as my publisher, were keeping my original team on board & intact, as well as making sure that Dave would distribute the proceeds from Primordia sales at my discretion according to what would be in my contract. As opposed to me simply receiving the money from Dave myself, and having to divide it and send it to my team members.
My hands were full working on Primordia, and having no knowledge of business or how that side of things worked, I was convinced to at least consider the deal with Dave. I figured that with an established publisher, and a Harvard educated lawyer on board both many years my senior; I'd be in experienced & professional hands when it came to the business side of things for my game. Which was an aspect I didn't think I was qualified to tackle at the time. I really just wanted to make games and not worry about the business & money related aspects. I mean, what could go wrong?
So in March 2011 Mark had told us that S2 games had backed out of publishing his game Star Captain, & despite some slow down and worry regarding James at the time, I assured Mark all was well and work continued. This is when I floated the name Wormwood Studios. Wadjet had several other developers in their stable at that time such as JBurger and the devs behind Journey Down - people who had inspired a lot of my work on Primordia. So I was taken aback when Mark sent me several negative emails about these devs - but I took it for just "venting" at the time due to Mark's failed pitch for Star Captain.
A few problems come up with the music. But they were resolved & I resumed talks with Dave regarding his publishing my game. In June 2011 the contract from Wadjet was altered to include several clauses to protect my IP rights, as well as a few other protections for myself - as the original creator of Primordia. I also insisted on my two main teammates Mark and James be paid a set royalty percentage. With me developing the Game Primordia for Dave, & Mark & James officially assisting. This was now written into my contract with Dave Gilbert of Wadjet Eye Games, signed sealed and delivered.
I notified the whole team officially- we were now signed up with Dave, for better or worse. Mark chats with Dave and assures me that it helps being friends with a lawyer.
Production continues, albeit a fair bit slower now, with channels of communications divided between myself, Mark, James and Dave, although progress did continue with Mark now suggesting "Gold Idol Games" as a name for our Studio - however I insisted on Wormwood Studios for the title because it calls to mind Absinthe - part of my Swiss heritage, as well as my favourite game studio; Westwood.
Near the end of 2011 I had some major health problems mostly because of where I was living, which was a rotten shed in the backyard of my StepDad's house. Black mold had overrun a big patch under my bed (as well a few other problems) it was pretty shocking to discover the time, kind of freaked me out. It actually explained a lot of my lack of focus and other health issues. I mentioned all this to the team. But I didn't really get a response. But hey, I hired these guys to help build my game with me - not baby me when I was sick. Anyway. I just took this for them being busy. I couldn't help but make another game around then too - another little adventure game I made for then girlfriend called Aurora. This one had full VO and ended up being a nice little polished game, or I thought so for the amount of time I put into it, which was no longer than a week or so - it was being made as a present.
2012
The start of 2012 was marred by a pretty boneheaded mistake on my part, unplugging my PC & killing my whole OST. Dead in the water. I let the team know I'd be out of action for a while recovering all my systems. However, halfway into January Dave sent me the first of what would be a new way of dealing with me from his end post contract signing; ultimatums, and very little regard for *my* issues or problems. Dave had been informed of my workstation meltdown, by me, but I got a pretty sharp email from him telling me that I should have informed him, in advance of my absence. We all had issues and breaks here and there, heck, Mark had a child at one point during production. I'm sure that slowed him down. You can't always expect the unexpected - but apparently Dave felt justified in making that pretty absurd demand of me.
I reiterated that it was unavoidable. This should have been the first indicator to me of Dave's poor management skills, as I'd only JUST signed our contract prior to this incident - and Dave's tone towards me immediately shifted entirely after this & you'll see our exchanges bear that out, from this point onwards.
I start working with Dave's new composer, Nathan, on the music for Primordia. Though now the music had changed hands three or four times via Dave's "expert" management, so I was becoming somewhat frustrated with the process. This was also the second person named Nathan doing the music on Wadjet's behalf. A little confusing to say the least. I probly did over-direct the second Nathan with my somewhat overbearing synth aesthetic - because I essentially composed a soundtrack for Primordia alongside his, to send him as a reference and guide to inform his own work on the "official" Primordia OST. This tandem Primordia OST I made would later be released as a standalone on Steam, which was Mark's suggestion around this time. One of the many compromises I'd made up until then with Dave.
Mark pointed out that I had an obligation to WEG which I had to make good on, so I replied that I would make the best of the situation, and progress continued. Somewhat strained at times, but I was pleased with the new music Nathan was making for the most part, so of course we got along personally for the most part as well - with Nathan rising to the challenge of my admittedly overbearing direction.
Dave messaged me about the person I had cast as Crispin in Primordia, Chis Trew. He's a really cool nerd rapper & stand up comedian based in Austin Texas, with a sing-song voice and a very quirky personality. He reminded me of "Joey" from Beneath a Steel Sky - another quirky robot in another adventure game that I took a lot of inspiration for Primordia from when I was first designing it, before bringing anybody on board. Huge obvious influence from BASS. So I had him in mind even before I put a call out for anyone to join Primordia. He was actually also part of the reason I first even decided to include voice acting in the game, or make it at all. For real. And yeah again the first time I said YES to Dave regarding a Primordia deal when we first spoke, he agreed that CT would stay on board as Crispin, this was reiterated on and off several times throughout contract negotiations.
So, earlier in the year I'd asked Dave whether voice acting was underway; with no reply. Many months later when Dave wanted all the VO done right away, Chris happened to be doing a comedy tour at that time. Dave was adamant this small delay was unacceptable and could lead to a delay of up to a year. Now, not only had the initial talks of my deal for Primordia with Dave begun with assurances I could keep CT specifically as Crispin, as I mentioned, and throughout talks, but I was now in a position of not just compromise, but capitulation to Dave on a major creative choice for our game, and a choice to fire someone I had brought on board from the beginning. I did eventually cave to the pressure of my team, and Dave, and I fired Chris.
My relations with Dave dissolved almost entirely from then on. On the surface, things till progressed. I began to answer his long winded emails to my team in short order, and just go and get the work done myself. I gotta say, I was pretty fed up with Dave's treatment of me by then. Mark, however, seemed strangely ecstatic - sending me an exited email telling DN and I what a big thing he now thought Primordia was, how it could be the start of something bigger etc. Although I always had believed in it. Mark's language was curiously negative, which threw me off. Whilst I was happy I was moving forward, in my mind, I'd irrevocably breached a bond of trust with my team mate. Getting Primordia made was still my main goal but wow, had things gone off my original track now in a BIG fucking way.
Dave also offered to terminate CT on my behalf, which I thought was really weird. This was my mess and I wouldn't ask anyone else to clean it up. I did the deed, fired Chris and moved on, feeling dirtier because of it.
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