AWRIGHT, might as well finish the goblin history.
Kingdomstole is only one of the settlements under Grimrust's control - the capital of goblin civilization if you will. But there is more:
Notice the recently conquered dwarven hillocks. I bet they had better military than Redlabored, and still lost.
Each settlement, be it goblins or not, have their own local government. Redlabored is run by The GLORIOUS Workers. Kingdomstole is run by a government known as The Sick Demon. A fitting name if I ever saw one.
In the year 16, a position of lord was created.
A dwarf known as Inod Toolfill was appointed as the first lord of Kingdomstole.
Funny thing, year 16 is the year Smunstu Guileghouls was born. Twelve years pass - the age when dwarves turn into adults, the legal age. Guileghouls becomes a fisherdwarf, and then, almost immediately, the lord of Kingdomstole.
What happened to Inod? Well. An incident.
That poor dwarf. First, he gets abducted by goblins. Fighting his way from a simple prisoner to the lord of Kingdomstole, only to get abducted
again, and turned into this:
What does "moon monster consort" means, you might ask? It means that not only he was abducted and transformed against his will, but he was also raped by his abductor.
That rape was quite productive too.
A whole dynasty of moon monsters. Fascinating. And what perfect timing it was for abduction - right after Guileghouls came to age. Coincidence, of course.
Let's get back to Guileghouls.
Not a lot of memorable events in his life, at least those officially recorded, but those that we have are
quite entertaining.
Especially the bribe event in 78.
A dwarf Zaneg Bronzepet gifted an artifact marble figurine to Smunstu, which he immideately proclaimed a symbol of the Lord position. Why? Take a look at the figurine:
A figurine of a seemingly random human. But
on that human is an ivory image of Inod Toolfill. It almost looks like blackmail.
To be fair, the human is quite remarkable too. Former member of the Council of Tones (government of Girderjoyous, which lays in ruins today), and a Holy Oat of some human religion. She was imprisoned by goblins during a war, but managed to make a career in goblin society.
Long story short, a
remarkable human being.
Anyway, the life of Zaneg Bronzepet, the creator of Spreadglum, went south since the creation of the art piece. One could even say she went insane, murdering dwarves and writing disturbing poetry.
She wrote all her pieces after having dreams, except for one, which she wrote in good consciousness.
I imagine Smunstu Guileghouls did
not make her life merry.
It's worth noting that Smunstu's wife, Erith Spearclutches, was not abducted or otherwise forced to live among goblins. She married Guileghouls at the age of 104, by her own will.
Smunstu is a natural-born leader of goblins, to be sure. Look at those skillz:
But enough about Guileghouls for now. Let's look at another important figure in Grimrust's hierarchy: the general. This position is currently held by Busla Diebones, but she wasn't the first.
All generals before her suffered violent deaths.
And none of them managed to hold the position for more than 5-7 years, except Likot Merchantcloses the dwarf. Likot led the very first goblin attack on Girderjoyous. This was the day she died.
So who is Busla Diebones anyway? How could a human become the trusted general of Emo Grimrust? For one, she is the grandaughter of Cando Charmedstraps, late Law-Giver (ruler) of humans.
Her father, Cisli Spiralhugged, is the next heir of the human throne, since the current Law-Giver has no wife and no children.
Busla Diebones is the only child of Cisli Spiralhugged still alive.
It seems like Grimrust doesn't plan to simply beat his opponents into submission. He is slowly conquering the world with
legitimate claims. That skinless demon would be great at Crusader Kings 2.
Busla's life before her ascension was not very remarkable. A regular sorry fate of a childe abductee.
But then she is appointed as the general. And shit hits the fan.
The first thing she does is murder her cousins. That's right, both Stalith and Irka were of the royal bloodline.
During the following year, Busla makes a trip to the underworld and tames a companion worthy of her peculiar personality.
And soon after that, she receives a gift.
That's not the only gift she received. And not the only giant rat she tamed. Busla's life is quite busy.
The Hideous Malice was trying to destroy Girderjoyous for a long while, but it was Busla Diebones who finally managed to end the settlement.
Some of you might remember that Friend, one of Redlabored's uglier dwarves, lost most of his kids during attacks on Girderjoyous.
But what about Busla's treasured artifacts? Let's take a look
Not bad. Lacks some attention to details, but quite fancy nonetheless. What about the other one?
A. Dwarf. Bone. Ring. Ring made from
dwarf bone. MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well, at least the creator of this monstrosity was swiftly dealt with.
Unlike Smunstu Guileghouls, the general of Grimrust is rather paranoid about keeping her artifacts safe. She stored both treasures within the Fat Tower, where her Master resides.
Surely nothing will happen to the treasures there, right? Right?
Wrong.
Now THESE dwarves have MASSIVE BALLZ. Both of them are still alive, by the way.
OKAY, you must be wondering by now, WHY IN FFFUCK arr you dumping this information on us, Grimwulf?? First, I have nothin' better to do and not in the mood to actually play the game. And second, a vast majority of our dwarves are connected to the Hideous Malice in one way or the other.
Quick facts (those of you with save games can easily confirm them via Legends Viewer):
- Friend's wife and most of his kids were killed in Girderjoyous during both goblin and elven assaults;
- Givi's second apprentice Litast Towershin is a citizen of Kingdomstole;
- Spigot spent 4 years living in Malignquickness - goblin pits of the Hideous Malice, his master was a goblin;
- Eryfkrad's eldest sons were abducted by goblins - the younger one was later murdered, the eldest escaped and reunited with his father;
- Lizzurd has 10 brothers and sisters, 6 of them were imprisoned by the Hideous Malice, some of them murdered later on
THE LIST CAN GO ON, most of us have something to do with Grimrust's goblin empire, usually a grudge.
The goblins attack other civilizations relentlessly.
And it's only a matter of time before they send their armies to Redlabored.
Unless Grimwulf you think the tavern as is isn't enough to keep those mental breaks at bay.
It isn't, but there are other ways to improve the general mood. It's not at
critical point just yet.