Kodex Kommunistic Kolony in Rimworld, Season 1

[Ulminati]

Plants don't die(I think) if the lamp goes out. They just have 0% growth when it is dark or cold (I think). A single solar generator powering a heater and a sunlamp will slowly but eventually allow you to grow healroot and hops. They will just take 3-4x as long to grow of it's only powered a few hours every day. Just make sure it sits on its own power circuit

 

[Grimwulf]

Plants don't die(I think) if the lamp goes out.

They kind of do. All plants have a maximum period of growth, so to say. If you don't harvest them before this period expires, they will die. I tried to grow potatoes using only hydroponics and regular lamps, they were growing at smth like 50% speed. Each time they died before reaching harvestable condition.

 

[Ulminati]

Hm... Crap. And you can't harvest 75% grown plants at a decreased yield?
I still think 1 solar generator, a battery, a sun lamp and a hydroponics thingie for healroot might be a sound investment. Medicine is awful scarce.

 

[Grimwulf]

And you can't harvest 75% grown plants at a decreased yield?

Sometimes you can (chance of success depends on Growing skill), but my regular-lamp-potatoes didn't reach even 50%. I guess solar lamp connected to a single solar generator might be enough. But I'd rather focus on building a badass fort than think about how to feed my people.

 

[Ashery]

And you can't harvest 75% grown plants at a decreased yield?

Sometimes you can (chance of success depends on Growing skill), but my regular-lamp-potatoes didn't reach even 50%. I guess solar lamp connected to a single solar generator might be enough. But I'd rather focus on building a badass fort than think about how to feed my people.

Potatoes don't really benefit much from hydroponics/rich soil, though. Just double checked growth rates in a hydroponics basin under a standard lamp, and potatoes were growing at 30%, with rice up at 46%. Not sure if that's enough of a boost to get anything harvestable, though, if potatoes died sub-50%.

Alternatively, you could skip the hydroponics and just go for an enclosed room with a heater and sunlamp over basic soil. That'd also open you up to growing corn instead of just rice. Gives you some resistance against solar flares, too, provided you can spare the wood for a campfire to keep temps from dropping too far.

 

[Ulminati]

Screw the vegetables. I was thinking healroot and hops!

 

[Kalin]

Hey shut the fuck up about your plants and post an update already! I keep checking the thread thinking it's sexy time just to get cucked by a fuggin jute sperging about green houses. Shit ain't right!

 

[Ashery]

You realize that's just going to make me want to post more, right?

 

[Kalin]

 

[Ashery]

 

[Ulminati]

...So when you grow those hops, remember that Kalin doesn't get any beer without going through Systembolaget

 

[Bliblablubb]

Who cares about hops and healing plants? All we need is potatos. HUEG amounts of potatos. They will feed us, make us happy, and if shit hits the fan we can power our defenses with them! Well, maybe not the last one, but a KommuKolony without potatojuice is doomed. DOOMED!

 

[Azira]

Are you saying that potatos are not healing plants? Are you a traitor to Kommunism?! KILL THE TRAITOR!!!

 

[SmartCheetah]

They should totally implement throwable potatoes. Fuck me, even I can mod it in

 

[Bliblablubb]

Don't forget that Comrade Potato is responsible for defeating famine in Yurop AND doubling her population. Every country should have a giant statue to honor that.

And what happens if there is lack of potatos? Irishmen will emmigrate to some other continent and lay the foundation of Kommunism's archnemesis. Learn from history.

Potatojuice also heals radation, so yes, technically it's even medicine. By Lenin's hairy balls, is there anything this marvelous invention of ancient 'murican Kommunists cannot do?

 

[ERYFKRAD]

is there anything this marvelous invention of ancient 'murican Kommunists cannot do?

Become tomato.

 

[Azira]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomato

 

[ERYFKRAD]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomato

Crom.

Truly potato is greatest of all.

 

[Grimwulf]

Look alive, men! What is wrong with you?

Why do we have to attend to this stupid gathering in the middle of the night?

Spoiler

I don't mind, personally. I'd rather take a nap during the day, when it will be warmer. Hopefully.

Shall we wait for Dreaad, Kommissar?

No. Where is the lactose woman?

Happy to see you too, Kommissar. Good morning, komrades.

Spoiler

And yeah, it's lacgirl. LAC. GIRL.

Work hard, respect your Kommissar, abide the law. And then you'll become a fine komsomolka, lacgirl. Yes. A fine one indeed. If only you were a bit more... bulky.

Ahem. Shall we begin already?

M? Oh. *clears throat* AHAHRMRRHHRHRM, komrades and bottle brothers, we have gathered here today in order to--

For the love of god, Grimwulf, cut it before I cut you!

Our currently operating power generators ain't producing enough to support our glorious Kolony. We should build more, but we only have so much steel for expensive projects. Besides, turrets are needed.

We need to fix that power. Turrets would be useless without power as well.

They will be working during daytime. And if we turn off some lights, heaters, freezer and whatnot...

I say get powah first, need my heat damn it. Could make indoor campfires, but knowing you fucks you'd burn the place down.

*chewing in silence*

I'll take it as abstaining. Where is corporal Greenball?

*voice from the freezer* If we can't keep the lights on it will reflect badly on the kkkolony, and by extension communism. You wouldn't want that, would you? Because we're all comrades here, right? Right?

YOU STAY QUIET THERE, OR I SWEAR I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS!

Honestly though, we need more chairs. The population of Kolony is growing.

Yeah, sure. One day. SO, I've consulted the many communistic voices inside my head - they want dat power flowing too. You have my vote, men.

That makes it four in total: Grim, Kalin, hello friend, and me. Lacgirl and Dreaad abstained.

It's decided then. Now, for the new prisoner...

Cryocrypt.

That's just rude.

No food to try to feed and recruit. I've checked your food stores - they are not as vast as you think.

Why even bother with freezing her? For what purpose? Kimmy's old and used. Release her. Now. Otherwise we risk her dying here. She's not as strong as Kalin, so I doubt she'll survive the infection.

No need to recover the foreign relation. Might as well test the facility.

I agree, for once. Need to test those things, if we get them working we can store slaves there, or use them in case of another infection!

*voice from the freezer* We need to test those cryocoffins now in case we need them urgently later on.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!

Enough! THE VOICES say heal and release!

I don't care how many voices live inside that fucked up mind of yours, but you only get one vote, like the rest of us. EQUALITY, bitch!

That makes it 2 votes for releasing, 3 for cryofreezing. Dreaad abstained.

FUCK YEAH, I'll do it personally. And enjoy every bit of the process.

Over my dead body, you freak. I'll do it myself.

Spoiler

In order to fix the power shortage, we need more generators. Another wind turbine here...

Spoiler

Second solar generator there...

Spoiler

And two more batteries tops. Which means we need to dig the battery room a bit deeper.

And somehow find a ton of steel real quick. How much do we have right now?

180.

Spoiler

That infection is here to stay, Kimmy.

Spoiler

*moans* Just give me some antibiotics, stupid.

Medicine? Here? *chuckles* But don't you worry. I know exactly how to solve your little problem. *strips Kimmy*

What are you doing? Let go!

Spoiler

Do you mind looking elsewhere, komrades? She's naked. Show some manners.

That's a fine piece of body.

Too thin for my liking. A true komsomol woman must be spacious. To keep you warm during cold winter nights.

Why would you need a woman if you already have a heater?

Spoiler

You animals. My fellow citizens of District will come and save me. You'll see! *coughs*

Shhh.

Spoiler

Why are you doing this? *weeps* You're not like the others. Let me go! Please?

Of course I'm nothing like these kommies. I'm only here for one man.

Spoiler

As for you, love... Don't take it personal. But I don't want any competition.

WAIT!!!

*closes the cryosleep casket*

Spoiler

Dreaad is mine.

8th of Winter, 5501

Oooohhh, baby. That shit is BAD ASS!

Spoiler

Am I good or what? There will be no unrest on my watch. Peacekeeper mk.2, you and I gonna have tons of fun!

Spoiler

Shall we bash the shit out of that self-proclaimed woman first? She has probably commited a crime lately, rite? Hell, just looking like that is a crime by itself, so-- Wait, what's that?

Spoiler

Cargo pods!

Spoiler

*pshhh* Grimwulf, come in. Let's send somebody to grab the goodies from cargo pods. There's gotta be something useful, I'm sure!

Spoiler

*pshh* Grimwulf? Damn. Hey, you!

Spoiler

Huh? Me?

Go find Grimwulf and tell him to contact me pronto. He's probably building some shit nearby, or maybe dragging corpses around for no reason.

Meanwhile.

Spoiler

*snores in deep sleep*

Your doubts are many. But you must choose wisely.

hrmrhm... Go away... Where is Trudy...

Smaller power plant. Little energy. No defenses. Bigger power plant. Hundreds of units of power. You get power.

hrhmm... Bigger. Hundreds. Power. Power...

Recruit more bodies. Be careful, there are traitors.... in the darkness. They long for power and female companionship, they do not love the Machine and the People

mmhrhrh... Female bodies... Recruit more traitors...

We will.... watch you, Kommissar. Sacrifice what you need.

*ppsshhh* GRIMWULF, HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHERE ARE YOU?! WE NEED THOSE GENERATORS UP AND RUNNING ASAP!! Also, cargo pods. Over.

*yawns* Give me a damn break.

Oh, look. Grim doors are finally opening.

Spoiler

Kalin's screaming could wake up Lenin himself. MORNIN', Kommissar!

*grumbles* Git back to work, all of you.

Spoiler

Would kill for a coffee right now. Let's see... That power cable needs to go.

Spoiler

Great. Just great. *psshh* THANK YOU, GRIMWULF YOU FUCK! THAT REALLY FIXED THE ISSUE!

*psshh* Shuddup, Kalin. I got this. But first, gotta get myself a snack.

A SNACK?! Fine, you come here and I'll--

Remember that you have no balls and cry?

Spoiler

Awright, cut it off! Last time we had a fight, the whole Kolony was paralized for an entire day. Can't afford that anymore. PROGRESS, damn you!

Later that day.

Grimwulf. You should really change that synth jacket. Just pick a fancy parka from the storage - there are plenty.

Spoiler

Hypothermia is a thing.

You know what else is a thing? Torturing people to death. How can you be so blind, Grimwulf? This man is making decisions of his own.

Shut up.

Okaaay. Always nice to have a chat with you.

That cursed hypocrite. Pretending to be friendly and loyal, only to reveal his sadistic bloodlust in the end. He is a cold blooded murderer.

Stop it, Sparkles. My brother is a good man.

I don't care! Go discuss it somewhere else!

We're stuck in this place, Grimwulf. Let me explain...

One hour later.

Spoiler

Thus, I can have my final rest only after you build a proper home for your people. For my brother. And I want you to bury the corpses, of course.

I want vengeance, Grimwulf. I did not deserve to die like this.

I want to kill Germans.

Newsflash!

Spoiler

I don't care what you want.

Later that evening.

*psshhh* Grimwulf, what are you doing right now?

*psshhh* We've ran out of steel, so I thought I might as well start another Prosperwall.

Spoiler

A better question is... OI! DREAAD! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOIN'?!

Grimwulf? Just taking a stroll, хаха... Oh, have you heard this sick joke about a Russian, a German and an Italian who crash-landed on an unkown island...

Dis better b gud.

Years pass by as the three men struggle to survive. Constant hunger, diseases, injuries, hardships. And then a JINN appears! And tells 'em that each has three wishes.

Jinn? Really?

So, the German steps forward and says, "I want a keg of cold beer, a billion euros, and to return home". Granted! The German instantly dissapears, cold beer and cash waiting for him back home. The Italian says, "I want a bottle of wine, a gorgeous woman, and to return home". Granted! The Italian dissapears too! And the Russian says...

"A crate of vodka and those guys back". That's a bearded joke, and you got it all wrong. Are you even a slav?

*psshhh* Grimwulf, you buttplug. Send someone over to help us mining.

Spoiler

*psshhh* Negative. Everyone's busy. Too busy to chit-chat on the radio, if you catch my drift. Over and out.

Later that night.

Phew. What a day. At least the steel shortage has been dealt with.

Spoiler

Evenin', men. Bon appetit.

Spoiler

We were discussing that considering the sheer amount of stuff we have in the storage... And since we're all equals...

Dreaad wants his "share". I would laugh if I wasn't so tired.

Meanwhile.

Good enough for today.

Spoiler

Time to eat and sleep.

Spoiler

NO!!! I'M TIRED OF WAITING PATIENTLY!

Hurrr

You will bury those corpses even if I have to possess your mind and force you to do it!

Spoiler

*psshhh* Grimwulf, you a'righ? Over... Not responding again.

I haven't seen Kommissar Wulf this whole evening.

Boo-fucking-hoo. Shuddup and sleep everyone. First one to snore will get a club to his head, I swear.

Spoiler

Not that I'm worried about Grimwulf. But still.

I bet he's gone berserk and doing something inane again. Like, i don't know, searching for the king of all deers.

Spoiler

 

[Azira]

Oh, that's right! It's weekend now! Time to work on the Kolony.

Nothing beats burying dead bodies, in the middle of the night, digging holes in -20 degrees weather, right?

 

[hello friend]

Just chillin'

 

[Dreaad]

What the fuck was Dreaad doing in the middle of the night?

 

[Ashery]

Nothing beats burying dead bodies, in the middle of the night, digging holes in -20 degrees weather, right?

Would you rather dig when it's -20C or 65C?

Spoiler

Though I'm amused at just how effective wool dusters are at keeping colonists cool.

 

[Reinhardt]

Why lacgirl have personal room and personal heater?
You can move Azira closer to Dreaad and there will be enough room for one more bed.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

mmhrhrh... Female bodies... Recruit more traitors...

This was bretty funny.