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Inactive Let's Play EU3 Mare Apertum - Life and Unlife of Vlad Dracula

Make your choice:

  • Wallachia, to paint Europe red and LARP over a butchered Vampire: The Masquerade canon along it

    Votes: 12 22.6%
  • Friesland, to unite the Dutch sodomites against all odds.

    Votes: 3 5.7%
  • Bishopric Bremen, to unite the krauts against all odds.

    Votes: 3 5.7%
  • Tyrone, to free the Irish people and, like Portugal, forge a colonial empire of their own.

    Votes: 8 15.1%
  • Riga, because Latvia deserves better than some kraut tyrants subjugating their people.

    Votes: 6 11.3%
  • Tripoli, to become the King of Kings of Africa

    Votes: 1 1.9%
  • Crimea, to forge a new Mongol Empire over Eastern Europe, Central Asia and beyond

    Votes: 4 7.5%
  • Rajputana, to drive the towelheads out of their clay and unite the Hindis under the Wyrmlord dynasty

    Votes: 4 7.5%
  • Aymara Kingdoms, to not end as Prisoners of Ice

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Maya, for their civilization to survive even beyond 2012

    Votes: 12 22.6%

  • Total voters
    53
  • Poll closed .

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
vlad.jpg


Index

  1. Prologue: The Lifeless Doomsayer
  2. The Road to Damnation
 

Tigranes

Arcane
Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
10,350
Wait, the Wallachian Reverse-Mongol Horde over the Crimea and into the soft underbelly of Central Asia?

GOOOO
 

LusciousPear

Savant
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
722
Location
SF
MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Shadorwun: Hong Kong
Maya.

We have an abandoned Aztec LP. It has left a hole in my heart.

I need completion. I need the machete rape gangs. I want to see machetes DESTROY THE POPEMOLE IN HIS HOMELAND.

(Maya invading Italy plz)
 

Infantryman

Scholar
Joined
Feb 9, 2010
Messages
459
Location
War Saw, Potatoland
Joining Wallachia bandwagon. Good LARP makes a good LP. Plus, you're going to have to REMOVE KEBAB FROM PREMISES once more (I bet they'll DoW you), and this never gets old.
 

Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
11,351
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
I'm torn between Maya and Tyrone. Still I think Maya would be a foregone conclusion of LOL EUROPEANS unless MA actually improved native odds against the conquistators and their lust for mayagold. Tyrone on the other hand looks like FUN between repelling the filthy five o'clockers, colonizing the 'muricas, repelling the other imperialist assholes (including the five o'clocker bastards) and enslaving the natives. Not to mention having to focus on naval combat.

Out of the options not mentioned though I would recommend picking a Japanese state/clan. I remember having quite a blast with Japan after I united it with Shimazu (IIRC) in MMU. After the initial Sengoku nonsense which itself is quite FUN/rage inducing due to the mechanics involved you get to do imperialism Nippon style. Lots of Naval combat with the ragheads of Indonesia (occasionally worst turk sends their fleets to help), colonizing the Australias, getting the filthy Chinese off your Taiwan (which you colonized but they like invading). Hell my Japan converted to protestantism and waged war on the papists if they got near :M

Difficulty of the unification varies by the clan you pick, with Shimazu being one of the harder ones as the ones on the main island (Honshu) have an easier time usurping the title of Shogun, you need to control a few key central provinces to be able to do that. Which the AI will always try to do (it changes their nation to japan and gives them cores on all your shit, fun times). Although there are ones worse off which start with one province and further away from Honshu. Also popamole pirate spawns limit naval movement which makes invading the main island harder until you manage to build a fleet. Not sure what they changed in MA regarding the Sengoku mechanics though.

Either way I vote Tyrone. Those shamrocks will help you get all the potato and gold from the 'muricas.
 

Zwist

Learned
Joined
Jun 6, 2012
Messages
236
Bremen. The religious wars could lead to some really nice narratives.
 

marooned

Liturgist
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
313
Wallachia sounds very promising but ended up voting for Maya because, hey, conquistadores.
 

Cassidy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
7,922
Location
Vault City
What's with this Mayan Declinism? Vote for vampire and rap magic, fuckers!

To be honest, I already did a Greattst Countrey LP in almost the same region, but this time I would spice it up with lulzy LARP and focus expansion elsewhere. Of course, I'm not grotsnik, but I'd give it a try.

As for the Mayans, were they Melonheads, Sapiens or Neanderthals?

:M
 

Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
11,351
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
As for the Mayans, were they Melonheads, Sapiens or Neanderthals?

:M

Sapiens, as we all know Cleveology clearly states that Aryan Nordic Ubermensch=Neanderthal and Melonheads evolved into Khazarian Jews. If they were Neanderthals clearly they would have repelled the few sapiens that invaded their continent. Melonheads would manipulate the conquistadors into not looting the mayagold. Thus it is clear that they were what Cleveology scientifically calls "spear-chucking assmonkeys".
 

Esquilax

Arcane
Joined
Dec 7, 2010
Messages
4,833
Tyrone seems interesting, would love to see them become a colonial power to rival England.
 

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