Completed Let's Play Myth 2: Soulblighter

[Darth Roxor]

Look at that smug bastard, going away with the book all while friendly fire claims the lives of everyone outside


Roxorowski's brother Roxorowicz volunteers to blow up some more corpses : x

 

[DraQ]

DraQMini (Soulblighter is not the only being capabale of using necromancy. But we are quite new at this shit and after unfortunate explosion dwarf is only thing we could construct from DraQ remains).

I never asked for this.

 

[CappenVarra]

Getting the Codex out of the depths of GD takes time...

 

[Storyfag]

Dare I say... MOAR?

 

[Sergiu64]

Who was the archer the got killed by one of his own at the end? Sergiu65 or one of the nameless?

 

[hoverdog]

sign me up as whomever.

 

[Ivar the Boner]

Gate of Storms

Spoiler

Friday October 10, Madrigal

First this boogey men bullshit and now Alric is shitting his pants because of some old woman? 'Oh, I'm off to play a grand piano..'

HOLY FUCK THEY ARE REAL!

And they be a-rapin'

We have survivor of rape-fest and it's Imperator!

Imperator... I'm disappoint.

Oh, whole fucking garrison got slaughtered but mr. Majesty is like "I got this!"...

Daaaaamn.

We can forgive Imperator for this moment of weakness, he is wounded and he jast saw whole garrison getting raped by monkeys with claws and nasty, big, pointy teeth!

Joka, Hoodoo and Ovg are finally back, they have two battles and couple kills under their belt so they should be much better than normal warriors. They are responsible of training two new recruits - Hoverdog and KickAss, and surviving Myrkridia onslaught is their training. Welcome to the Legion.

And we have bowman Mrowaksu. Unfortunately Sergiu65 died in wight explosion at the end of last mission.

Now we have to form a defensive line a start our Amazing Journey.

We are not ready yet you goddamn beasts. I thought about some satchel charges but we don't have time for that.

Myrkridia is long-gone race of I Don't Even that almost made humans extinct. They were trapped inside the Tain by hero named Connacht around thousand years ago. Connacht then turned into Evul Balor that we stopped during TFL events thanks to Myrkridia Banner we've found inside the Tain. Fallen Lords and Balor retained some of memories of their former incarnations and in case of Balor it was hatred of Myrkridia. So it doesn't really make fucking sense that Soulblighter summoned those beasts because this guy don't seem to have will or ideas of his own, he just did what Balor told him to do (and did it badly to be honest). Soulblighter is least interesting fallen lord in my opinion but he is only survivor so it's no wonder that sequel is about him.

Bowmen! target one monkey, they go apeshit and attack whatever is close to them if they are wounded badly enough!

You didn't wounded any of them enough, which is not surprising since they are best "normal" (Giants and Heroes excluded) melee unit.

Nice! but that's all we could do and now we must charge.

There is only three of them left but still, charging Myrkridia with warriors is like charging meat grinder with penis, it fucking hurts no matter how many dicks you have.

But we did it and lost only one penis warrior.

There is some of them behind us so we are going to run away like real heroes.

Or we won't because we are surrounded.

Codexers are on our left flank and it looks like they will have to fight one monkey without dorf support.

More is coming but we have Alric there. Alric is not... in his best form yet but he should be able to deal with one or two Myrkridia.

Codexers are lucky as hell and "their" Myrkridia went berserk.

I left three warriors in the back as Alric's bodyguard so they should help with stopping monkeys behind us.

Alric have another Myrkridia to deal with so he can't help them. WE have to do something about it and we shall do what every hero would do in our place...

We are going to throw bombs at Alric's bodyguards and hope that it will hurt Myrkridia a little.

Ok, Alric chopped them to pieces and we can start looking for our ship.

Which means we will make five steps and get attacked again.

Git em your majesty!

Hoverdog is tanking Myrkridia so we better get him out of there because that's certain death for him.

Great, we have to fight them because we can stumble on more Myrkridia if we decide to run away and we will be surrounded then. But Alric is extremely resistant to Lightning (As he proved in Balor's Keep) so this should be easy.

Slash!

Ok, Alric is busy and we don't have a tank here.

And they are charging downhill so our dwarfs may have a problem.

Now, warriors have to do their job.

I'm proud of you guys.

We healed Alric and we can continue. There are reinforcements on this map. I don't remember where so we will have to look for them. We need every new warriors because our wounded are shit out of luck, Mandrake Roots are for Alric.

Well, that was quick!

Welcome aboard guys!

Unfortunately they brought some friends with them.

KickAss! NOOOOO! (But we gained three warriors and lost only one )

They will pay for this barbarism!

Wooo! Awesome!

I think we annoyed Myrkridia by destroying their "skull platform".

NOOOO! You stupid dwarf...

Fortunately bomb didn't go off.

We are losing soldiers but rest is enduring and in enduring grow strong.

MOAR!

But nothing is free in this game and we have to fight for those guys.

No one died. We are getting better and better. This time our bowmen did great job and managed to damage two Myrkridia enough for them to go apeshit and their in-fighting helped us a lot.

I didn't noticed those guys until it was too late.

We have horde of warriors but those Myrkridias are at full health so we have to be prepared for some casualties.

Actually, we've lost only two guys.

We are getting near to where this massacre we saw in the beginning took place and that's just few steps from the docks.

Thanks to Alric's anti-lightning hax those guys should not be a problem but there is large group of Myrkridia patrolling this area.

One bowman died, that's unfortunate because they just stopped sucking balls.

And now we will wait for a while to see if this large patrol is coming because I would rather not have them behind us.

Those are not Myrkridias I was thinking about.

Three monkeys decided to target Ovg which is bad for Ovg but good for everyone else.

I tried to save him but those bastards are too fast.

Then two more warriors died and now we have just charge through town center into the docks.

Ok, those are Myrkridia I was thinking about. Alric, get back, you have shit to do.

Dispersal Dream awww yiiis.

And this is not even his final form... one monkey survived but Alric will just solo it and we can deal with fetch/soulless squad.

We raped them not losing anyone and now we must make our way to the ship.

Suck it!

POOF!

MAKE WAY FOR HIS MAJESTY!

POOF! Ok, we used all our Dispersal Dreams.

It would be very not Myth-like if there would be no one last surprise.

But we are getting on this ship no matter what.

And fucking monkeys won't stop us.

We've lost a dorf. He was non-codexer so no big deal (Maybe it will make room for DraQMini to join us in next missions).

As we were boarding the ship, some floating old lady entered Madrigal's docks...

Smug king is smug and kingly.

 

[Imperator]

I died or not just want to now?

 

[Ivar the Boner]

I died or not just want to now?

Nope, you are alive and well. And you scored 10 kills total so it means you must have killed couple Myrkridia.

 

[Darth Roxor]

THREE-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWG

 

[Imperator]

THREE-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWG

LOL

 

[DraQ]

We can forgive Imperator for this moment of weakness, he is wounded and he jast saw whole garrison getting raped by monkeys with claws and nasty, big, pointy teeth!

I think they are better described as werewolf/orc hybrids in term of looks and werewolf/RIP AND TEAR! hybrids in terms of everything else.
Growing some extra RIP AND TEAR! when they are pissed.

More pissed than usual, that is.

Unfortunately Sergiu65 died in wight explosion at the end of last mission.

So you could say that his shooting everyone in the back has finally...

...backfired.

Myrkridia is long-gone race of I Don't Even

Also a fitting description.

So it doesn't really make fucking sense that Soulblighter summoned those beasts because this guy don't seem to have will or ideas of his own, he just did what Balor told him to do (and did it badly to be honest).

Well, he no longer has to worry about Balor's disapproval.

There is only three of them left but still, charging Myrkridia with warriors is like charging meat grinder with penis, it fucking hurts no matter how many dicks you have.

But we did it and lost only one penis warrior.

And now I understand why they have those conical helms. My life is now complete.

They will pay for this barbarism!

Wooo! Awesome!

Dorfs. Dorfs never change.

NOOOO! You stupid dwarf...

Dorfs. Dorfs never change.

Fortunately bomb didn't go off.

Dorfs. Dorfs never change.

 

[Ovg]

Can I become another warrior called Fat Boobs?

But at least I sacrificed myself to save fellow codexers


Dayum, will we be seeing moar of king's kickass action?

 

[Zboj Lamignat]

Great LP, shite death for me though

 

[Storyfag]

Dispersal dream

 

[SmartCheetah]

Oh lord, I remember playing this game so many years ago. Good stuff, very good stuff.
So yeah, hire me! I dont mind which unit, so it can by anything you want.

 

[DraQ]

SmartCheetah

'zerks can run pretty fast.

 

[Ivar the Boner]

Landing at White Falls

Spoiler

Sunday November 16, Near White Falls

We arrived at White Falls and Vigilance apparently made small detour to get some more soldiers because our Codexerks and DraQMini are here.

This mission is timed, we have to get to the fort and kill two cannon crews before our ship got hit three times. I was never fan of this mission but I don't actively dislike it like The Baron and... other "puzzle mission" (It's a mystery).

SmartCheetah joined us, fresh from Gower and without any experience but Berserkers are always useful. It's actually hard to tell if they are "overall" better than warriors, they are much faster and that's single most important "stat" in Myth games. They should have lower staying power because of lack of shield and armor but they attack so fast that most enemies can't even retaliate (and those who don't get stunlocked will kill both 'zerk and warrior in one hit anyway).

But let's not get carried away, we got shit to do here.

We will fuck around with those thralls by using dorfs but after that we will simply rush every enemy because I don't remember exactly how much time we have here.

Ok, now we must start moving.

I'm afraid we can't really rush Soulless on high ground so we have to enter dancing competition.

Meanwhile, DraQMini will cover our backs. He don't have experienced of Ivoldi or Tindrli but he's good for what he is

Well, that was stupid of me. But this time, no take backsies. I'm not Iron Man'ing missions in Myth because I'm not good enough to do it even on normal but I take 3-6 screenshots and then make a save game to keep savescumming at absolute minimum (and that's why some of you had rather anti-climatic deaths, you were just unlucky to die shortly before I had to save game). Savescumming is worst sin LP'er can commit but I also remember almost abandoning my SotHR LP during "shaman flying on some green shit" mission, so I keep backup saves in case shit goes really bad.

Now it's NightGoat's turn. I will send him some help in form of two more berserkers in case more Soulless leave their high ground.

Archer died, in-game hints for this mission said to keep wounded archers in the back and heal them, but I think those hints are full of shit and we need berserkers in this mission, not bowmen.

Now we will heal 'zerks that are in worst shape because there is no Alric in this mission to eat all our mandrake roots (well, he actually is in this mission, but we don't control him).

We are near the fort and some undead decided to welcome us.

We are going to rush soulless with 'zerks becaus we ain't got time for dat.

Ghols... let me guess, they have wight pieces?

Sure they do.

Storyfag! DODGE!

He managed to survive but we lost one non-codexian berserker.

Oh hai. NightGoat decided to charge thralls but I told him to calm the fuck down.

Because that's a job for dorfs.

RECIEVE THINE POUNDING!

We soften them a little and now berserkers can finish them off.

Thralls on our right are dead so we can move on.

Seriously, already? damn.

And we still can't rush to the fort because we have shit behind us.

We've lost another archer.

And wight-chucking Ghols arrived.

And our dwarf assploded yet another archer.

But our berserkers are reaching highest levels of badassery, slashing Ghols left and right while constantly dodging flying wight pieces.

We killed most of them and now we must try to get into the fort.

DraQ and his merry company of shit-chuckers will cover us.

We are under fire from the walls but there is nothing we can do about it.

Oh, great. Couldn't fucking Vigilance just sail away while we do this shit?

That's what we just needed man, goddamn fetch.

Someone is fucked.

Berserker died but our brave dorf assploded another fetch.

Goodnight sweet prince.

Ok, entrance is sort-of-not-really clear, our berserkers now have to RUN...

Boxer met his end as javelin-pillow before he managed to reach ramp leading to cannon.

THEN JUST CHOP THEM YOU TAFFER!

Meanwhile, second berserker group is zig-zaging through thralls.

Storyfag and NightGoat did their job, but there is no hope for them and they know it. They decided to take few Soulles with them.

Brave Fag of Many Stories was finally brought down by forces of darkness.

And second group must now dodge wight pieces and Ghols.

Then NightGoat died, but he took two soulles with him.

We silenced both cannons but berserkers died, all of them.

FOR KING AND COUNTRY!

Oh, those two guys from the second group survived.

 

[Imperator]

Where is the head from the first game?

 

[Ivar the Boner]

Where is the head from the first game?

I don't think it was ever explained what happened with the Head. All I remember is that civil war broken out in Madrigal between Head followers and those who opposed after Legion crossed the Cloudspine. I'm not sure but I'm betting it was destroyed during civil war or after Alric took Madrigal back (And I'm ignoring MumboJumbo's explanation of the Head here because it made the Head huge, gaping plot hole).

 

[Storyfag]

Brave Fag of Many Stories was finally brought down by forces of darkness.

Sign me up for another round! This time I'd like to be something easier to kill. I want to die many times :D A Warrior, maybe?

 

[Haba]

Where is the head from the first game?

I don't think it was ever explained what happened with the Head. All I remember is that civil war broken out in Madrigal between Head followers and those who opposed after Legion crossed the Cloudspine. I'm not sure but I'm betting it was destroyed during civil war or after Alric took Madrigal back (And I'm ignoring MumboJumbo's explanation of the Head here because it made the Head huge, gaping plot hole).

The Head was always a huge gaping plot hole.

With the release of Myth 3, the community expected an answer to all the questions left unanswered by Bungie. The hype had built up the idea that Mumbo Jumbo were writing the story with the aid of magical design documents, given to them by Bungie so that anything in The Wolf Age would be the Tru7h.

The fact is, this turned out not to be so true and the infamous design docs were revealed to be nothing more than a pizza box with phrases such as "Small children who save the world are lame" sketched all over it. In other words, there was no bible of Myth lore to speak of and the story resided entirely within the game creators' imaginations.

MumboJumbo's explaination is perfectly suitable, given what they had to work with. The problem, naturally, is that they chose to "reveal" the origins in the first place.

 

[Ivar the Boner]

Where is the head from the first game?

I don't think it was ever explained what happened with the Head. All I remember is that civil war broken out in Madrigal between Head followers and those who opposed after Legion crossed the Cloudspine. I'm not sure but I'm betting it was destroyed during civil war or after Alric took Madrigal back (And I'm ignoring MumboJumbo's explanation of the Head here because it made the Head huge, gaping plot hole).

The Head was always a huge gaping plot hole.

With the release of Myth 3, the community expected an answer to all the questions left unanswered by Bungie. The hype had built up the idea that Mumbo Jumbo were writing the story with the aid of magical design documents, given to them by Bungie so that anything in The Wolf Age would be the Tru7h.

The fact is, this turned out not to be so true and the infamous design docs were revealed to be nothing more than a pizza box with phrases such as "Small children who save the world are lame" sketched all over it. In other words, there was no bible of Myth lore to speak of and the story resided entirely within the game creators' imaginations.

MumboJumbo's explaination is perfectly suitable, given what they had to work with. The problem, naturally, is that they chose to "reveal" the origins in the first place.

I'm not entirely sure I remember MumboJumbo's explanation right, so I may be simply making stuff up but:

*HUGE FUCKING SPOILER*

Spoiler

If the Head is Moagim, that would mean there are two levelers at the same place and at the same time and I don't think it should work like that. I honestly think that "fan" explanation that the Head is Balor makes more sense.

*END OF SPOILER*

And like I said, I may remember things wrong so take EVERYTHING I say with a grain of salt... oh and by the way, wouldn't you wan't to die in this LP by any chance? we could use more archers

 

[DraQ]

The Head was always a huge gaping plot hole.

Unexplained shit != plot hole.

 

[Azira]

I've died once in this LP. It was great! Everyone should try it.