Let's press the button of awesome - Stolen memos found

[Rod Rodderson]

And yet it goes on. Your sacrifice is noted.

 

[Twinkle]

THE LEGACY DLC, PART 2

Hawke crossed the chasm in pursuit for the mad dwarf messenger.

Heh, he tried to lead the party straight onto a set of traps.

He managed to escape by orrdring his buddies to delay Hawke.

It seems I was too quick to compliment Bioware's "improved" approach to encounter design. Baddies definitely spawn in waves, the only difference being that they hid spawn triggers behind closed doors.

Great, the new party banter doesn't take main campaign's events into account at all.

Do your stories ever have griffons in them?

Kind of tricky because they're extinct. You can work a griffon attack into a tale, but it takes skill.

I was thinking more like... heroic griffons. The sort that swoop in and save the day.

Daisy, haven't you heard? Swooping is bad.

Oh.

Final destination was visible from the lower gallery, too bad there was no quick and easy way to reach it.

Am I in your stories, Varric?

Daisy, everyone is fair game for my stories.

I never hear any stories with me in them! What sorts of things do I do?

Well, you get lost a lot. You wind up in the middle of a dog racing track in Darktown. Or in the viscount's bathing room.

So they're true stories?

Daisy, I could never make that stuff up. Nobody would believe it.

Empty rooms and convenient trap switches hint at close ambush.

Lol, so unpredictable.

Click!

Still the way forward was closed. Hawke had to find a key.

There.

:/ Enchantment?

Hawke opened the gate.

O'rly?

Har har. Still these cheap tricks won't do them much good.

We'll deal with their bosses in the next update.

 

[sea]

Man, I knew the writing in Dragon Age 2 was shit, but it seems even worse in this DLC. Why does everyone constantly repeat the same fucking crap? DID YOU HEAR, HE SAID HE WANTS OUR BLOOD? I WONDER WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT HERP DERP

Also, holy shit, can they make a story that doesn't involve slaughtering a billion Qunari/blood mages/Carta thugs/Templars? After developing a reputation for literally killing every living thing to ever fucking exist, you'd think people would want to steer clear of Hawke. But nope, instead it's HAY GUYS LET'S SEND GENERIC BANDITS TO STOP THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, I'M SURE THAT WILL WORK. How the hell do you even employ people like that? "Okay guys, you're guaranteed to die horribly, and thus you won't make any money... who's in?"

Oh well. At least they made some new textures, though I'm pretty sure a lot of those bits and pieces are reskinned assets from Dragon Age Origins.

 

[RK47]

Fuck I watch My little ponies for the first time and I think I've seen multiple copies of the fucking elf personalities floating around.

I really, really cannot imagine why Bioware wouldn't just stop pretending and make a My Little Pony RPG.

 

[Ulminati]

I really, really cannot imagine why Bioware wouldn't just stop pretending and make a My Little Pony RPG.

I bet Konjob would just love that

 

[lightbane]

So far, this DLC seems to be an improvement: It went from an horrible unbearable piece of shit to just an horrible piece of shit. I doubt the next DLC will be better than this one.

 

[abnaxus]

Also, holy shit, can they make a story that doesn't involve slaughtering a billion Qunari/blood mages/Carta thugs/Templars? After developing a reputation for literally killing every living thing to ever fucking exist, you'd think people would want to steer clear of Hawke. But nope, instead it's HAY GUYS LET'S SEND GENERIC BANDITS TO STOP THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, I'M SURE THAT WILL WORK. How the hell do you even employ people like that? "Okay guys, you're guaranteed to die horribly, and thus you won't make any money... who's in?"

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Mooks

 

[DraQ]

The ending wouldn't suffer a damn thing if it gave a choice to Hawke to just walk away...declaring 'You both are not worth saving. I'm leaving Kirkwall.'

That will have a more powerful impact than being dragged into this whole mess that doesn't have any satisfying conclusion or convincing reason to commit into, despite Gaider preaching that Hawke is a very 'influential individual' I fail to see how this is so. Aside from his companions he has no followers, no faction warriors under him, just a mine owner with a small fortune and exceptionally strong.

Choices without influences.

 

[Brother None]

So all this DLC is, is one big combat tromp? Boring.

 

[RK47]

I wouldn't expect any less from the Champion of Kirkwall. He has no diplomatic stat, and is a complete warrior devoid of any intelligence stat.

Varric can spin more tales to make cash for the EA's carta for all we know.

How about making a Carta DLC where you actually manage Varric's family assets and stronghold at the same time, huh? Would that be too much of an effort to ask, Bioware? Decide between profitability or morality? Or is it too hard compared to creating new monster meshes and giant darkspawns to explode into blood splots?

 

[Sceptic]

So all this DLC is, is one big combat tromp?

Yeah I was wondering too. Didn't Bioware claim this DLC would be less combat-focused? There's nothing else in it so far...

 

[Twinkle]

So all this DLC is, is one big combat tromp?

Yeah I was wondering too. Didn't Bioware claim this DLC would be less combat-focused? There's nothing else in it so far...

Nah, it's a pure dung crawler, olololol.

THE LEGACY DLC, PART 3

Stupid guards were sleeping on duty.

Then Hawke found a letter.

I've seen a lot but a dwarf blood mage? Not likely.

And what does this have to do with Father?

Carta should want gold, not blood. This is something different.

I guess we only get that answer from Corypheus.

Also he overheard a conversation between Carta's goons.

dwarf 1: If I get the Hawke's blood, Rhatigan says I can go into the tunnels and drink of the Master!
dwarf 2: Shh! We must wait in silence. The Master commands it.
dwarf 1: I hate how all of you get to hear his voice. I never do...

And never will. That group was massacred quickly, their sniper buddies unable to aid them.

This is a part of the class-specific armor set. It's mostly inferior to Champion Armor Hawke is currently wearing, but its stats are super-OP for players who slug through Legacy during the first or the second act.

The party eavesdropped on another exchange between the crazies.

dwarf 3: Why does the Master want this Hawke fellow, anyway?
dwarf 4: It is not our place to question.
dwarf 3: Does it have something to do with the key? Didn't it belong to somebody Hawke?

Oh, opening bronto's cage wasn't the brightest idea, they are capable of stomping over everyone who isn't Hawke.

Even without companions' aid Hawke prevailed, regen be praised.

A mad dwarf crossed Hawke's way, rambling about the Master and Hawke's blood.

The Hawke's blood! The Master will rise. He will be free!

Gerav?

Varric? N-no one told me you would be part of this. We were just going after the Hawke.

We don't have time to get friendly with the crazies, Varric.

Hawke, this is Gerav. He's a greedy, brilliant, bastard son-of-a-nug from the Carta.

Gerav, this is Hawke, the one whose blood you want to drink or bathe in or whatever.

But if you're after eternal youth, I've got to tell you, he's no virgin.

The Master is calling. He needs the blood.

Gerav... buddy... This isn't like you.

Look. I've still got Bianca, never misfired a day in her life. You don't want her to see her papa like this, do you?

Varric? You want to spare this bastard?

Not if he's after you, Hawke.

Bianca, I think it's time to say goodbye.

However, the dwarf dropped a smoke grenade and dodged his shot.

Reinforcements! You bastard!

Whatever, even with reinforcements he didn't last for long.

You poor stupid bastard...

I used to do business with the Carta, back in the day. Gerav was a nutcase then, too, but in a good way.

He was trying to design a new type of repeating crossbow. Bianca was the only one that ever worked.

I can't believe he ended up like that.

Dwarves standing in the next cavern weren't much of an obstacle either, however they were aided by a human mage.

That statue served as a teleport to the city. There was no need to use it, though.

Finally the party confronted local Carta's leader.

Hawke. They told me you were going to be trouble.

And look, you brought the whole family. How generous.

I swore to Corypheus we'd bring him Malcolm Hawke's blood. One way or the other...

Whatever this Corypheus is after, it stops now.

Corypheus, we have doen as you command! Your sacrfice is here. You will see the surface once more!

So there's no way back which means no kiting.

Note the creature's name.

The main difficulty here is small playing field. What's worse: the bad guy can activate floor traps on a whim. And simple running around means being an easy target for shooters.

So I kept him stunned most of the time using spells and Hawke's abilities.

In a desperate kamikaze attack he took down two of the party members.

Nevertheless, it was too late to affect the outcome.

Rhatigan's body covered some shining orb.

What the--?

Don't touch it, moran!

Discharge of magical energy pierced Hawke's body

And the orb tuned into a huge two-handed sword. Note that this weapon is class-specific too.

Aaah!

What is this? I can feel it... inside me.

I've never seen... that before. And it was Father's?

This is going to take me to Corypheus.

He had to follow the stragglers.

Yes.

 

[Crooked Bee]

But if you're after eternal youth, I've got to tell you, he's no virgin.

of Bioware

But... Wanka? really?

 

[RK47]

Yes. Because it sounds like 'wanker', geddit?

*Giggles* Bioware, top of the humor department.

 

[Brother None]

My impression is this DLC is worse than the main game.

 

[curry]

Aaah!

What is this? I can feel it... inside me.

Do it wrong and it'll make you sick

 

[SCO]

Probably not designed by committee and thus the conflicting retarded writers ambitions didn't cancel each other out.

 

[Twinkle]

THE LEGACY DLC, PART 4

Smug bastards! The way back has just been cut off by the magic barrier.

Those sons of bitches... The whole blasted thing's sealed over.

I'm not leaving until we find this Corypheus.

Oh yes, I will.

Hello, derpspawn, my old friends.

And they wonder why I prefer the surface.

Hawke desperately tries to improve his KKK rating. He is too good to open doors anymore, he kicks the with a mighty foot like Duke.

Stupid dwarves found their end there. In the meantime a new type of darkspawn is being introduced. While they use a unique model they are pretty much bigger versions of dogs.

The symbol of the Grey Wardens with a red orb inside. Let's touch them.

Some kind of ghost in a form of blue mist started reciting a spell.

"... bound here for eternity, hunger stilled, rage smothered, desire dampened, pride crushed, in the name of the Maker, so let it be."

The last orb remains. After dispelling it the demon contained inside must be slain.

Of course he'll summon his buddies two times, it's a deeply tactical game after all.

The blue smoke returns.

I can do nothing about the Wardens' use of demons in this horrid place.

But I will have no one say any magic of mine ever released one into the world...

Did... did that voice sound familiar to you? I could almost swear...

It sounded like Father, but... how?

Daddy! What kind of mess did he get himself into?

So it were the Wardens who imprisoned that Corypheus. Still doesn't explain daddy Hawke's involvement.

This type of darkspawn can bury themselves in the sand.

What's worse is that they have a nasty habit of exploding on death.

Hawke advises to tread carefully. Who know what kind of moles can pop from the ground again?

The key!

I'm not sure how to classify this creature. Darkspawn-like hunching movement and ghoulish appearance reveal the taint, yet it doesn't seem to be going to die anytime soon. Additionally, his rusty blood-stained armor bears Grey Warden insignia.

Did they find it? The dwarves? I heard them... looking... digging...

How do you bring the key here?

Sneak up on me again, freak, you'll be missing a head.

Take it! If the key is here, it does me no good.

I don't think we're getting any help here, Hawke.

Hawke! You are the blood of the Hawke? I smell no magic on you...

But you hold the key! The key to his death... Yes, I can show you out, yes.

I can find my own way out.

The seals hold us in. Anything comes in, nothing ever leaves. Not without the key.

The key, it made the seals. It can destroy them.

Every seal, you touch the key to it. Only then they open. Only for the Hawke.

Not back. Not up. Only way out is down and through the heart. Down...

Down in the depths...

Do not believe what you see in the Deep Roads. The world ends in the dark.

Hawke discovered the first seal mentioned by that thing. It was guarded by a recolored pride demon.

Let me guess. The first seal?

Two thousand years, the magic holds. Never broken.

Give it the key. Let it take the magic back to itself.

Absord it, all who came before...

Choices & Consequences. I pick electricity damage, simple because it's a closest option.

The blood works. It is good.

I'm not following you one more step unless you tell me who you are. What's your name?

Name... So long since I've said my name. La... Larius! I was Larius.

There... was a title, too. Commander... Commander of the Grey.

A Warden! Was this your... Calling?

Yes! The Calling... the songs got louder. Only death stops them.

I am dead. But I never died.

I don't have time for your daft blathering.

C-Corypheus calls! In the darkness! What waits there?

And another type of enemy is introduces. These are pretty much like bulldozers on rampage, nearly invincible behind a shield.

But they are really vulnerable from behind.

Onward and downward.

 

[Brother None]

New enemy types?! Truly this DLC is worth the cash.

 

[Twinkle]

THE LEGACY DLC, PART 5

It seems that daddy had imprisoned even more nasty fade creatures.

"...be bound here for eternity, hunger stilled, rage smothered, desire dampened, pride crushed, in the name of the Maker, so let it be."

I may have left the Circle, but I took a vow. My magic will serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base.

That's... that's what Father used to teach me. "That which is best in me, not that which is most base."

Simple words to a foolish little girl. Father...

Well, he left you that, at least.

Hawke looked around. Shrieks of darkspawn echoed in the cavern, however, they were nowhere to be seen.

Father was here. I can almost see it in my mind.

Holy crap, Bioware made the whopping three new darkspawn models for the DLC. to the exhausting effort.

That's actually interesting. Dumat was the archdemon killed by the Warden in DA1. Dumat was the first archdemon killed by the original Grey Wardens millenium ago. A chance to talk with the powerful creature? A powerful item? Maybe a challenging fight? We'll continue collecting these scrolls.

Ah, the first detailed information concerning that Corypheus dude. He's exactly like the Architect from DA:Awakening only with definitely more malevolent intentions.

An attempt to ambush Hawke proved to be futile, as always.

"...be bound here for eternity, hunger stilled, rage smothered, desire dampened, pride crushed, in the name of the Maker, so let it be."

We got the memo already, FFS!

Hawke slew the last caged demon. Maybe he'll get a chance to exchange a few words with daddy after all?

I've bought our freedom, Leandra. We can go home now, us and the baby. We'll be together.

I hope it takes after you, love. I would wish this magic on no one.

May they never learn what I've done here.

And the ghost vanished for good.

He was talking about you. Mother must have been pregnant with you when they left Kirkwall.

He didn't want to pass magic to a child. And then he had me. He'd hate what I've become.

So he had doubts. He trained you so you'd be able to handle things like this.

But he didn't want any of us to follow to places like this. And here I am.

Yes, surviving more than any ten people could.

Or should. Father wanted us free, but I'm not. I endure. None of this is what I want.

And the Maker allows it.

If there's anything to the Maker, He seems to favor bold action. Father knew this.

All but required, given the enemies put before us. Seen and unseen.

Father must have asked the same questions I do. And I won't be the last who doubts.

After Mother... I need a thread to my old life so I can think clearly about this. Not these whispers.

Whatever has passed between us, you're my connection. And this mess needs to end.

Considering that this stupid DLC pack is called "The Legacy" there can't be anything more boner-crushing. I demand deep emotional connections in my underground dung crawls!

Well, as a compensation Bethany was gifted with a cool new staff.

I still fail to adjust to their shitty habit of exploding on death. Nevertheless, the two remaining party members took care of the problem.

Another thing required to summon the archdemon.

The path to the second seal was guarded by bulldozer and ogre. In DA2 ogres were massively nerfed, they are hardly more dangerous than an average derpspawn.

The second guardian can make mirror images of himself.

Still, it doesn't take any effort to spot the real one simply by examining their lifebars.

Time to choose the second bonus for the "key" weapon.

That gollum-like ex-warden creature appeared again.

He is waking. The magic grows lax. He feels us walk where no step goes.

When you run off, where do you go?

I know the darkness before the seals. Here, the voice is too strong.

I cannot stay!

 

[Brother None]

So does this DLC unlock the Bethany romance option? It'd sell like hotcakes if it did.

That's actually interesting. Dumat was the archdemon killed by the Warden in DA1. A chance to talk with the powerful creature? A powerful item? Maybe a challenging fight? We'll continue collecting these scrolls.

Wikia says that was Urthemiel. Dumat was slain well before DA:O

 

[Twinkle]

Thanks for the correction, Brother.

 

[random_encounter]

Aurak deepspawn, Gears of Dragon Age bulldozers, and tons of derptastic combat... I don't know why I never went in for any DA2 DLC. But you Twinkle for taking the hit. Again.

So basically, what I'm getting is that this whole place is some kind of Warden version of Area 51 where they studied Fade creatures and deepspawn on top of a set of Deep Roads that the dwarves presumably used to hide a monster, but are no longer worried about it because of all of Corypheus whom the Wardens captured and imprisoned here later on.



Er, alright. Maybe it will make more sense in the next update.

 

[Twinkle]

THE LEGACY DLC, PART 6

Get out of here, stalkers.

They were curiously absent in vanilla DA2 despite being present in DAO and DAA.

Besides Grey Wardens and Darkspawn this area was visited by non-Carta dwarves as well. Seems like this location is sealed as tight as infamous "no one enters, no one leaves" Vault 101.

The Legion of the Dead... sent after Paragon Garen's heir. Why does that sound familiar...?

I think Garen was sometime in the early Exalted Age. Hundreds of years ago.

Do you think they found him?

Who knows?

That's where I know the name! Tethras Garen should have been the heir to the Garen clan.

But he was accused of killing his siter and sent into the Deep Roads to die. When the real murderer was caught, they tried to find him.

They never could. Instead, every Garen heir from that time on took the name Tethras in his honor.

One of them became a Paragon in his own right and founded my clan.

So, this is... kind of your ancestor they're looking for.

Not directly, but... a little closer than I like to come to my past, you know.

Like patient moles, the darkspawn, large and small, hid behind the rocks.

Yet the party has to be constantly on the move to evade shielded fuckers and bite them in the ass. I wonder if this can be considered as popamole behavior or not by the prestigious Kodex Kritikal Kommittee.

Another scroll.

And here's the altar.

No worky, because one item is missing. Ok, we'll continue searching.

Further along the deep road armies of stalkers and spiders clashed. No kidding, it's pribably the most epic fight in the whole DA:L. Hawke only had to pick them in small groups to whack them with ease.

Among the People, we bury our dead, not burn them. This must be the dwarven way.

Yeah. Let's get back to the altar.

Here goes...

It worked!

Hawke came there seeking the light!

Meh... Hawke grabbed 4 gp and an amulet from the altar. There's nothing more to that quest.

Fascinating...

And the body of the poor exiled dwarven noble is found. Interestingly, his fate nearly mirrors dwarven prince's origin story from the original.

Atrast tunsha. Totarnia amgetol tavash aeduc.

That was sweet, Hawke. Now let's get out of here before you see me cry.

The bridge was blocked by a darkspawn with shield. One masterful dodge and he's dead by himself.

You heard that bros. Kirkwall's mystary is solved.

But spamming bots behind the back as soon as you read pick up some chunk of paper is unclassy, Bio.

The third and the last seal is ready to be broken.

The final guardian is nearly identical to the previous, except he's fatter, spawns more clones and spews acid instead of magics.

It's time for some enchantment!

The ghoulish creature emerged from shadows.

He feels the seals weaken. He knows you are close. You must be ready...

What's that? Who? No... no. They're here.

Speak plainly!

The Wardens. They listen to Corypheus. They want to bring him the light.

Stop them. You must stop them.

A small group of wardens led by stern middle-aged woman appeared from a hidden passage.

Something's happening. The prison's breaking down. But it's stood up to tunneling before. What can--

You! You have the key! And you've come through the seals. But how?

Champion? Are you the one? The same Hawke, child of Malcolm?

The Carta said they were close. You must be him. I am Janeka. I lead this unit of Grey Wardens.

Senior warden, why are you interested in my father?

Then you don't know? Without Malcolm, this prison would have fallen thirty years ago.

I'm not here for touching family stories.

The Grey Wardens built this prison to contain one of the most powerful darkspawn we've ever encountered.

But even the best magic fades. The Wardens need to reinforce the seals.

This requires the blood of a mage untainted by... Warden training. The last to perform the ritual was your father.

You're not using my blood for anything.

We need your help, Hawke. I have done extensive research on this darkspawn and I believe the original Wardens were wrong.

He isn't a threat to humanity -- he's out greatest opportunity. A darkspawn who can talk, feel, reason...

Corypheus cares nothing for Blights. He used you!\

The Warden-Commander!

Don't listen to this... creature. He's half darkspawn himself.

I know how to harness Corypheus, use his magic to end the Blights.

No. The Wardens knew. Corypheus is too powerful.

My only purpose now is to end the Blight. But Father was no fool. This is wrong.

Worth he risk. If he doesn't help, it's one more big darkspawn to stick a bolt in. No big deal.

If she has a way to control him, I don't see the harm.

Corypheus calls her, and she listens. She brought him the Carta, sent them for you.

You must help us.

So bros this is the moment of truths. Whom are we going to help? Will we try to exploit the creature or help to contain it in the magical prison?

 

[RK47]

...what's the point of exploiting this ....thing? You're THAT bad ass already. Butttt go ahead. Exploit it Just to see the derp.