Note: events from this update (which takes place after Friendly Arm Inn) happened accidentally, as I was looking for the first stat book - the one in sirines' cave - and had chosen the wrong area (damn you, faulty memory!). After exploring whole of it, and not finding the cave, I slowly began to realize my mistake and finally decided to load an earlier save. Why did I do that - no idea. Especially considering the pain The Codex and me went through (a lot), and rewards we got (rather nice).
The narration will be provided from an unaware point of view, the death count will be counted separate from any other.
Alright, everyone. This is it. We are getting first book of permaboost in this update, which means we'll have to deal with sirines and golems. That should be fun, right?
That depends what you mean by 'fun'.
I mean you dying a lot, in various ways, or even many times the same way.
Thanks for the reassurance.
Let's move on, then:
If I remember correctly, this is the area we should be heading to.
After a moderately long journey, we enter the "coast" part of the Sword Coast.
The Codex' stats so far. Level ups are inbound!
That cave bear shouldn't stay there for long.
We begin with resting, mostly to refresh the spell list.
It all starts innocently - with a classic wolf.
Which dies fast.
I'm way past considering your kind a threat, wolfie.
Soon enough we meet a completely unsuspiscious, scantily-clad, blue-skinned chick.
Hello there, lady!
I'd like to warn You...
Death count: One
A kiss of death? That is so cliched, it hurts.
Well, this game isn't exactly known for its originality, is it?
Right. Let's move on.
You want to omit Shoal's quest?
If part of her quest is me dying, then yes.
If You had a party members, You could make one of them kiss Shoal and force her to resurrect the dead after beating the crap out of her.
Well, I do not
have party members, so no go.
Oh, that can be arranged.
This thread needs more Paco.
Whoa! What's going on?
I think we can make an exception this time. I'll give You a party member to
help You in the situation.
Alright, but not him. He'll screw the Nereid three times and probably not die after.
Time for some collar-grabbin'!
Man! No! Show some respect!
I saw a mudcrab yesterday.
Ooookaaaay... Who's that?
Oblivion is a joke... I mean joker... I mean jester. He has just the right stats to be able to help with kissing Shoal the Nereid, and not much else.
We make Oblivion talk to Shoal.
Yeah, there you go. Enjoy the little blue tongue there, as what follows is not that pleasant...
Oblivion! No! This can't be! She killed you! Why don't you try that with me, bitch!?
Actually, she already...
Shut up, You're ruining my Oscar scene!
Shoal does not present much of a challenge for our hero.
Oh shit, an ogre mage!
Don't worry, You'll be fine.
Sure, You've got Oblivion here to help You.
Fuck you both.
Droth the ogre mage soon makes himself invisible, our hero only manages to wound him once before that happens.
So, what now? I don't have any means of dispelling that.
You're probably fucked then.
There he izzzzz... *snore*
Sorry, no death screenshot.
Death count: 2
Aren't we a little over our heads trying to kill an ogre mage?
What, are You chickening out? Oblivion and I could do this without You, You know.
Shut up, and bring him on!
Droth doesn't fight in melee, I remove The Codex' armour for this combat.
Here he comes.
And the result seems to be similar to the one before...
...but not quite.
Yes, master, I will shoot myself in the back with an arrow.
The Codex is not actually dead, but the game treats the situation as if he was. Oh well.
Death count: 3
I am sure
it will be much better next time.
Since I'm starting to get desperate...
I mean: to explore all the possibilities, we try to set some snare traps on
Why are you so surprised?
Here he comes again.
Not sure if the trap even worked - probably not. The damage You can see ine the screenshot is from an arrow.
Anyway, we managed to disrupt his spellcasting, which is always a plus. Let's hope the good luck streak does not end here.
Oblivion falls asleep, but our brave hero resists the spell!
Yeah, I rule, and stuff.
Why sound so discouraged?
Going to be dead in a moment anyway.
Maybe we can make it this time!
Yes, master, I know stabbing myself in the gut is good for me.
Death count: 4
That was fucking unpleasant.
Bear with me just a while longer.
Not that I have any other choice.
We try set snare again, but no go. The first one just fails, but the second is a critical error and hurts our hero.
One word about my trap setting skills and I will drive this sword through...
Ok, ok. I'm silent.
Criticize Oblivion if You have to, but he's quite the punching bag.
I was torn if I should even publish this screenshot, as it is kind of embarassing for everyone here - Oblivion made a save against Sleep, while The Codex did not. What has the world come to?
And just wait a minute. The codex is an elf. Shouldn't he be, like, immune to sleep? Goddamn cheating game!
Oblivion manages to resist Dire Charm too, a feat The Codex hasn't yet managed to achieve.
This feels like playing Blood Bowl with elves and watching the opponent's dwarf team dodge around like balet dancers, while your own players trip over their own feet. Fucking dice.
Uh, where was I?
Oblivion and his one remaining HP are in the middle of a heroic duel with Droth.
It doesn't last long, though.
And The Codex does not wake up in time to save his own life.
Death count: 5
I kind of fell asleep there. How much did I miss?
Shut up, and let's try again.
After drinking an oil of speed, we try to set snare again, but without much hope for success.
Droth arrives and he's immediately greeted by a barrage of arrows.
The Codex dodges the spell, that puts Oblivion to sleep, by
running out of its range - and spikes Droth with more arrows, one after another, disrupting his spellcasting.
And Dire Charm is resisted! Hell yeah!
Yeah, stopping him from casting spells was the
tactic against Droth.
We don't want Oblivion to contaminate our game world. He would have disappeared when kicked out of the party, but this solution is even better.
Will this helmet suffice?
Bye bye, Oblivion, You will not be missed.
Indeed, it's quite good. Especially that magical helmets are not very common in this game. Being able to get it so early doesn't hurt either.
Saving throws bonus from Helmet of Defense is cumulative with the one from Ring of Protection making The Codex' saving throws pretty decent - meaning about 50% chance of resisting spells.
And there's also the less useful 20% resistance to elements.
After this rather lengthy distraction, we can finally move on.
We don't get far before meeting some natives.
Ghouls? IWasExpectingSomethingMoreImaginative. YouKnowBeingOnTheCoastAndAll.
We win the unexpectedly difficult combat and The Codex levels up!
A very nice find indeed.
Dual thief/mage level up.
The Codex will now be able to cast level 2 spells, which is good since we've just found one that is very useful
And Droth has replaced cave bear as the fattest kill so far. Not for long, though.
A quick 96-hour rest before moving on.
Ghouls seem to be a common sight here. No wonder the coast is all but deserted.
One ghoul is no challenge for me and sword!
Further on the coast, we meet some carrion crawlers.
Ew. These things creep me out every time.
They are defeated but not without problems, as their THAC0 is pretty good.
The abandoned ship can be looted.
That's really exciting. What sort of treasures will we find on a whole ship of a container?
I am fucking disappoint.
And it's a cursed one.
We give (actually: return) the ring to a nerby standing mad gnome for a reward and some XP.
"Mad gnome"? That's as much as saying "short dwarf", if you ask me.
Well, I don't.
We got this oil for the ring. Quite a bargain, considering that the ring is fucking useless.
More carrion crawlers. I guess they like the weather on the coast.
They will enjoy it no more, as it's dark and cold where I'll send them!
Death count: 6
Not. A. Word.
So... was it dark and cold where You're returning from?
What the fuck did I just say!
On the plus side, carrion crawlers are not there after the reload. They must have gone to some inn to get drunk celebrating killing the protagonist of the game, or something.
Further exploration brings us to this spot, with an ogrillon waiting for us.
What are these fruits of perversion? Half-ogres, half-?
Orcs, if I'm correct.
Where do they come from then? I haven't seen a single orc anywhere here. Will I meet some later?
Not in this game, no.
It doesn't make any fucking sense!
That was surprisingly easy.
Yeah, whatever they are, they're not ogre-level challenge.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! RETREAT!
It doesn't fucking look very good.
Yeah, especially that some half-ogre joined the chase.
As well as another ogre, it seems.
There's many of them and all bigger than me! It's like high school all over again!
I can't outrun them, it seems, so that's it. This is where I make my final stand!
Ok. Good luck.
On second thought, I think I'll try escaping one more time!
Ok. Good idea.
Oh, look, ghouls.
GEEZUS FUCKING KREIST NOT NOW!
So... What now?
Only three of them followed. I might have a chance here!
Ok. Good luck.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Death count: Se7en
Let's kill them one a time, shall we.
I was thinking along the same lines.
Let's start with this berserker here.
What exactly is the difference between an ogre and ogre berserker?
You don't want the latter to hit You.
I'm not exactly very keen on being hit by a regular ogre too, you know. But I think I get it.
We use the run&shoot tactics, but the ogre has good enough AC to laugh off most of The Codex' efforts.
We do manage to wound him considerably before reaching a dead end. Will it be enough to defeat him in melee?
I somehow doubt that.
And the doubts were indeed well-founded, as everyone no doubt can see.
Death count: 8
is the difference between being hit by an ogre an being hit by an ogre berserker.
Did it hurt much?
Not really. Either my pain threshold was immediately exceeded or I died so fast there was no time to feel pain.
Oh, it's cool then.
No it's not fucking "cool"! Dying is far from fucking being "cool"!
Before we approach the ogres one more time, The Codex stops for a quick 64-hour rest.
And there's our berserker.
Oops, one step too far.
I'll give you fucking "oops" when I get my hands on you someday!
While retreating, we pass a pair of carrion crawlers having sex (?). Anyway, it's quite disturbing.
You can say that again! And I fucking hate running with my eyes closed!
Since I'm not sure what was the cause of death here, I will assume that The Codex tripped, fell and killed himself by, I don't know, hitting a stone with his head.
What do You mean "too much Blood Bowl"?
Death count: 9
It wouldn't be that
difficult if not for the fucking respawning enemies.
Let's try a slightly different approach.
We prepare to throw our newly acquired oil of burning. Keen reader eyes might notice that The Codex is hurt a bit. That's because I forgot to save the game after resting last time.
After a misleading "gulp", we get a lot of messages about ogres getting damaged. The numbers are not very impressive, though.
So, what exactly have we achieved?
We managed to piss them off.
Just fucking perfect.
being chased by two berserkers and two half-ogres, The Codex has no choice but to drink a potion of invisibility to save his life.
Whew, that was close.
And since You're already invisible...
What since then?
Let's try backstabbing with a two-handed sword. I'm curious if it works.
Huh? No! Fuck you! Don't make me do this! Aaaarrrrrgh!
If someone's interested, there was a "weapon unsuitable for backstabbing" message before the death screen appeared.
Death count: 10
We hide and approach the ogres to assess the danger level.
I'm assessing it as pretty fucking high.
Oh yeah, stealth failed at one moment. Forgot to make screenshots while trying to outrun the ogres.
Death count: 11
Depends. I'm always happy to see You die, but I'm getting a bit fed up with being stuck here.
Have I already told you to go and fuck yourself today?
Maybe? Wasn't really listening.
We approach the problem from another angle to get rid of the half-ogre visible in the screenshot. The NPC standing nearby The Codex is Surgeon, Daveorn's brother who provides a handy full heal for people fucked (not literally) by Shoal the Nereid.
Not so tough without your friends, huh!?
I may have forgotten to save the game before clicking to loot the half-ogre...
I hate you so much.
You want a piece of me!? OW! FUCK! Ok, you can have a piece of me, just don't kill me!
HELL FUCKING YEAH SWORD! WE ROCK! SLAUGHTER!
You can act all tough now, but we all heard You whine just a second ago.
That was... a feint! To distract the ogre!
This time we save and rest (176 hours).
Another half-ogre is awaiting death.
Oh yeah, straight through his heart!
Another one down. We're doing pretty good.
The second berserker. You want to count on Your luck to be there again?
We retreat all the way to Arcand while shooting back - but The Codex manages to get some hits in, from time to time.
How about we switch places, and you run away from brutes wanting to beat the crap out of you, while I make smart-ass comments about it?
If I wanted that kind of excitement, I would've gone to a local football match.
Shit shit shit!
Better run away...
Thanks for the fucking hint.
Somehow we managed to outrun the carrion crawlers, but the ogre is persistent - and fast.
It's not, however, immortal.
Look what we have here!
Uh. Elev.. no, ten-o-clock!
Carrion crawler, that's what.
Oh. One of these is no problem.
How about two?
Oh, You're already paralyzed. Forget I said anything.
Death count: 12
These fucking things live near water?
Seems so, yes.
I'm fucking moving into a desert.
So yeah, we have to fight the ogre berserker AGAIN.
No sweat. I killed him once, I can do it again.
To limit collateral damage, I find this spot near Arcand. We can run around the rock in the middle, shooting back at the ogre.
It's kind of slow, but works.
And he's down!
He even dropped the same scroll. Either it's a fixed drop or it's randomized when the monsters are spawned, not when killed.
For continuation, check out bonus update #3B in my next post.