In Progress Let's Succeed at Ruling the Waves 2: Electric Boogaloo

[ValeVelKal]

We lost our commander !

 

[Andnjord]

Life can be funny sometimes. You go to bed having all the time in the world to write silly stories about pixel battleships blowing each other up with giant rats in command and then you wake up the next morning and you don't even know if you'll have time to breathe. Anyways, update is in the writing, should drop within the next hour or so.

 

[Andnjord]

The Battle Of Cape Hatteras

Spoiler

Here we are again, the Union scoundrels have sortied out once more thus giving us a chance to truly whip them up good. Even though it’s already Fall at this point the battle starts at 07:22 hours, all the daylight we could ask for.

We have twelve battleships present, as the last of the Alabamas finished her working out period in the previous month. We are a little bit light on Destroyers for my taste but as this is not a night time engagement it shouldn’t be much of a problem.

The Union on the other hand has only nine battleships in total. As of a few turns before when I checked though there were at least a couple on foreign stations around the globe so we could potentially be outnumbering them 12-8 or even 7.

Sure enough, at 8:31 our Armoured Cruisers spot the first enemy ships, and at 8:52 we get confirmations on the position of their main battleline.

Move in closer for identification. Risk to the crew’s safety: acceptable.

I don’t like those odds….

…five…six…SEVEN! AT THEM, ATTACK! I WANT THEM ALL! ! ! ! WE’VE GOT THEM! !

The AI really does not want to fight this battle and tries its best to disengage. Unfortunately for it I am better at manoeuvring than they are, and at 10:05…

Range is down to 5 000 yards. We are ready to open fire Admiral.

FORWARD SQUADRON, FIRE AT WILL!!!

Yes-yes, kill all for Admiral Packleader!

What the hell is that rodent… ehm…Captain Vale doing here? I thought he was in charge of the Destroyer flottilas.

Again with the insulting insubordination Captain Dayyalu? What the hell is wrong with you, this is Captain Velkal you drunk, not captain Vale!

….it’s still a fottuto rat….

That’s enough! When this battle is over you can consider yourself officially relieved Captain Dayyalu. You are clearly incapable of sustaining the stresses of combat!

Bloody hell, you Unionists are even worse at manoeuvring than when I was drunk in the goddamn Kaiserliche Marine.

This is rear-admiral Oscar reporting, my squadron is now in position to flank them and are currently engaging an inferior force of three Battleships. Over.

I won’t bore you with the details, but essentially we chase same formation (one squadron north to block their path to port, two squadrons south chasing) for quite a while. Eventually some of them start slowing down one after the other leaving them easy prey for our Rat Pack. Three of them suffer this fate. Only four left.

Yes-yes, feed on them my pretties, feed-feed the Brood!

BOOOM, BEAUTIFUL JOB CAPTAIN VALE!

They are starting to get away, we need to do something!

Send the rat pack to intercept them, no mercy this time. Then we can go home and get a freaking drink…why did I join a dry navy again?...

And it works, the two southernmost battleships are force to alter course to avoid the rats destroyer attack right into the maws of our pursuing fleet where they get torn apart by point blank shelling.

RAAAARGH…SLAUGHTER!

Only two US battleships remain, we’re slowly catching up to them (our northernmost squadron only has 10 to 0% ammo left) but at this rate they will probably escape into the night soon enough.

Fly-fly my pretties, surround them!

You know what goes faster than a 16 knot battleship? That’s right, a 28 knot Destroyer carrying a pack of blood-frenzied Skavens.

YES, I HAVE THEM NOW, I WILL FINISH WHAT I HAD STARTED! THERE WILL BE NO NIGHTFALL TO SAVE YOU SCUM!

YES! I HAVE DESTROYED THE UNION FLEET, I WILL BE REMEMBERED AS THE GREATEST ADMIRAL OF ALL TIME, I WILL BASK FOREVER IN MY GLORY AND…I….I...........I..................AAAAARGH….

Did….did he seriously just have a heart-attack?

Admiral Packleader has left-left us to join the great brood-mother, yes-yes.

Well in that case…ehm...Do you mind?


Dayyalu looks around, picks up the Admiral’s Grand Hat, and puts it on his head.

Alright. Now look at me you dirty rat. Yes look at me and stop gnawing on the admiral’s eyes. Are you looking? Good, now listen. I am the Admiral now, capisci?

Yes-yes, all hail the Admiral Guido-Packleader! Hail!

Spoiler

So yeah, I don’t have the time right now to finish my turn properly and write about it so I’m handing this over to Dayyālu a couple of months early. Up to you to finish the war champ, the US has only 2 battleships left and are under blockade. So try and win this quickly enough so we can get our reparations and move on to the next glorious victory! Or drag it out for 37 months if that’s your thing, who am I to judge.

 

[Andnjord]

And here is the save file Dayyālu

Hopefully I did everything correctly and you are actually gonna receive the save file and not my secret stash of porn. Hopefully

https://sabercathost.com/5mYn/Game8.7z

 

[Dayyālu]

Great victory! I'll wait for the turn in a PM or something. In the meantime.....

Spoiler

11th of November 1904, aboard the Battleship Texas

Tip-tip-tip-dat-tip-da-tip-tip-tip-dat-tip-da-tip

Dear Flora, my love and wife, I can only write to you to inform of the most portentous event. For sure, in a few days, you'll read about the great battle where we have defended Liberty against the oppressive regime of the Unionists. As our brave youth fights in the trenches, we fight in the cruel seas to defend the Confederate way of life.

Sadly, I have to inform you that our great Admiral has fallen in battle. If only you could see him, Flora. It was magnificent, like in the tales of old....

YES! WE have destroyed the Union Fleet We will be remembered as the greatest sailors of this age! Rejoice, men!

Admiral! The last Union ships are making a suicide run against us! Take cover!

Flora, believe me, there was nothing we could do as a lucky shot hit the bridge. I can only remember tearfully the wise last words of our great Admiral.

Captain Dayyalu ... it's up to you now to lead the Fleet to glory! Remember the honour we have won today! I die without regret, knowing that I leave my victory and my men to such a fine leader!

I am completely devastated. In normal circumstances, such a promotion would be the greatest thing a man could desire. But was it worth the death of such a great Man? Of a Man amongst Men? The ways of God are mysterious, and it's up to us to follow his Lead.

I'll freely admit, though, that my new responsibilities have given me some.... headaches. My wife and love, I'll have to confess, it appears that not everything is right in the fleet now, it's like some...

Admiral. Your presence is required for the damage reports.

OH MY GOD ITS A TALKING SLUG OH GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING OH GOD WHY THE HORROR THE ENDLESS HORROR

*clears throat* Buuut of course! Just a few moments, let me finish this letter to my dear wife and I'll be on the bridge.

some.... things aren't exactly normal and saintly.

EDIT: Turn works!

 

[Andnjord]

Great victory! I'll wait for the turn in a PM or something. In the meantime.....

Spoiler

11th of November 1904, aboard the Battleship Texas

Tip-tip-tip-dat-tip-da-tip-tip-tip-dat-tip-da-tip

Dear Flora, my love and wife, I can only write to you to inform of the most portentous event. For sure, in a few days, you'll read about the great battle where we have defended Liberty against the oppressive regime of the Unionists. As our brave youth fights in the trenches, we fight in the cruel seas to defend the Confederate way of life.

Sadly, I have to inform you that our great Admiral has fallen in battle. If only you could see him, Flora. It was magnificent, like in the tales of old....

YES! WE have destroyed the Union Fleet We will be remembered as the greatest sailors of this age! Rejoice, men!

Admiral! The last Union ships are making a suicide run against us! Take cover!

Flora, believe me, there was nothing we could do as a lucky shot hit the bridge. I can only remember tearfully the wise last words of our great Admiral.

Captain Dayyalu ... it's up to you now to lead the Fleet to glory! Remember the honour we have won today! I die without regret, knowing that I leave my victory and my men to such a fine leader!

I am completely devastated. In normal circumstances, such a promotion would be the greatest thing a man could desire. But was it worth the death of such a great Man? Of a Man amongst Men? The ways of God are mysterious, and it's up to us to follow his Lead.

I'll freely admit, though, that my new responsibilities have given me some.... headaches. My wife and love, I'll have to confess, it appears that not everything is right in the fleet now, it's like some...

Admiral. Your presence is required for the damage reports.

OH MY GOD ITS A TALKING SLUG OH GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING OH GOD WHY THE HORROR THE ENDLESS HORROR

*clears throat* Buuut of course! Just a few moments, let me finish this letter to my dear wife and I'll be on the bridge.

some.... things aren't exactly normal and saintly.

EDIT: Turn works!

Great job once again

Your updates will have better be as funny as these !

Captain mode though. We should have voted on that. Speaking of which, are we going for "historical efficiency of tech" or did you randomize that as well ?

Aye, I've had too many ships sink themselves after deciding it would be perfectly fine to keep going at max speed after eating two torpedoes. You're free to change it for your own turn though.
Techs are left on default. In my (limited) experience though there is still a lot of variance in the new techs, for example I didn't get torpedo bombers until 1930 in my Italian game, furthermore none of us have played it enough to know when it's actually a good idea to switch from battleships to massed carriers so we are liable to get things completely wrong still.


ÉDIT: waaaaaaaaait a second. Dayyālu , the save was played with the very first patch that they've released, do you have it installed?​

 

[Dayyālu]

ÉDIT: waaaaaaaaait a second. Dayyālu , the save was played with the very first patch that they've received, do you have it installed?

I've kept the base game unpatched in the case your save was with 1.00. I have no problems running it with 1.00, but it would be nice to know if it's 1.00 or 1.01.

I've now finished my own CSA game and I can guarantee that going full BBs in the 50ies is akin to assisted suicide. Maybe the situation will change when we get SAM mounts, as the tech is already there but you lack the pieces (they will be patched in soon). I can clearly see that a bunch of escort CLs and escort Destroyers with SAMs and your own heavy CAP could theorically keep in check enemy air to let your BBs survive, but again, the question is.... why?

For the same price you could get Cs and do everything. Again, there's a reason the devs gave us slow air tech, to let the Yamatos shine when they should not.

 

[Andnjord]

I've kept the base game unpatched in the case your save was with 1.00. I have no problems running it with 1.00, but it would be nice to know if it's 1.00 or 1.01.

It's 1.01

 

[Comte]

Nice I installed 1.01.

 

[Comte]

1.02 was released:

Download the zipped update program, unzip it, and run the updater. This patch should update both the v1.00 release and/or the v1.01 updated versions of the game.

The patch/updater should automatically locate your RTW2 folder - if the path shown to your RTW2 folder is incorrect please use the 'browse' button to locate the correct folder. If you receive an error message such as 'RTW2.exe missing' then you most likely have selected the wrong folder for the game location, make sure you enter the correct path.

Save games should, as far as we can determine, work fine with this update.
The following are the fixes/changes made for the 1.02 update:
DP guns checkbox will now not be checked in an autodesign when DP guns are unavailable
Fixed a memory leak issue.
Torpedo bomber squadrons will not be auto-created at airbases if the nation has no aircraft of that role.
Estimated number of enemy submarines active will not be negative.
Checking a design with 0 deck armor will now give an error in the designs report instead of no response.
Deutschland class ships (pocket battleships) will be classed as CA (12000 tons or smaller, guns 11 inches or less, and 6 or fewer main guns).
If Austria goes communist, it will be led by a Chairman.
Now takes radar sighting range into account when determining initial positions for battle.
Reduced victory points for surviving merchants to 600.
Fixed a bug with historical resources in 1900.
Fixed a bug with TPS value not showing in a rebuild.
Fixed a bug with torpedo reloads for deck mounted torpedo tubes.
Fixed an error with rebuild times being too long on ships with aircraft.
Fixed a bug that caused floatplane scouts not to launch or only launch from the first ship.
Fixed a bug with AON armor connected to the wrong tech.
Fixed a bug with box protection not always being applied.
Fixed a bug with some carriers on the borderline between CV and CVL being classed as CA.
Fixed a bug with reducing gun count in casemates giving negative weight.
Fixed a bug with CV and CVL not included in strength ratios for determining blockade.
Fixed a bug that caused error messages when setting ammo and torpedoes for battle.
Fixed a bug with radar range circles not showing in battle.

The following were the fixes/changes made for the 1.01 update:
Aircraft maintenance cost in main screen will now update when a squadron is added or disbanded in the air groups screen.
Fixed unreachable invasion target at Rhodes.
Sunk ships will no longer repair aircraft.
Fixed a bug with display of hangar side armour.
Fixed display of ship speed in nation data ship lists.
Slightly increased ready and spotting times of aircraft
Stopped some erratic course changes at start of battle.
Prevented building of airbases in the base overview screen until airbases are invented.
Map flags are now updated when a nation changes government type.
Removed automatic scrapping of old Corvettes.
The design board of the AI nations now also demand guns on their first carrier.
Misidentified ships will now not be revealed in the ship data card.
If twin DP guns is invented, then basic DP guns will be unlocked as well.
Fixed a bug with CL sometimes being built with features ahead of their time by the AI in a 1900 start.
If the first carrier is below 20000 tons, the design board will only demand 6 in guns.
Fixed a bug with torpedo hits not being credited to air formations.
Prevented bulging of ships below 2500 tons.
Fixed erroneous hints in rebel support event.
Added text in battle map if weather prevents floatplane or air ops.
The eccentric scientist will now be less eccentric, i.e. he will not invent things in tech areas that are not even known.
When aircraft prototypes are offered, only the three latest non-obsolete types of the same role will be shown for comparison.
Fixed an error in in CheckDarknessApproachingBase procedure.
Surprised airbases will not launch strikes, not even at other airbases.
No reminder about air group for museum ships.
Cancelling invasion target will not change ASW or submarine policy display.

http://nws-online.proboards.com/thread/2250/rtw2-v1-02-update-available

 

[Dayyālu]

Well, it's time to check those reports. Let's see what the Great Admiral has given us.....

Spoiler

It's always interesting to see different playstyles! Andnjord plays completely different from my stock builds. Probably more optimal than my choices, but we're here to damage the psyche of the other guys, not to optimize.

The main differences I'd like to apply at once, considering the war against the US is already won and we don't have meaningful ways to properly invade their colonial possessions yet, is to increase research to 10% (12% is the maximum, but the diminishing returns aren't worth it, I guess). I'd also love to immediately drop the gunnery and night fighting training, but we have to consider that while the US B fleet is completely done for their CL and DD forces are still almost on par with us. Cutting the expenses will have to wait until the fight is over and we can mothball the useless ships and Reserve Fleet the rest while planning for the next big thing. Research priorities are also focused on the next big thing, so I approve.

The only other thing is to reorder a tad our spying priorities. I don't want to antagonize too much he big boys. Also, High spying on RUSSIA?

This, however, makes me worry. I mean, extra Bs up to date are nice, but we'll probably get BB tech soon-ish, and 28 months are almost too many for a simple B. On the positive, it's an extremely solid design. I guess we'll keep them.

The US declines a series of engagements, they probably completely lack the ships to meaningfully oppose us at sea. Good. Good.

Honestly, I am not willing to waste money now that we have them blockaded. We can starve them without risking RNG land battles.

AHAHAHAHAH WE GOT ONE OF THEIR RUNNERS

We quickly get the runner, this one should be easy as fuck, considering our Light Cruiser is an updated one. Sadly, the enemy is a CL of the Chicago class, and it's as fast as us. Little chance to catch the fucker if we don't have a stroke of luck before it runs for safety.

No luck, the enemy CL escapes. Sad.

Our docks expand thanks to the valiant work of Negro slaves (the basics of the Glorious Confederate Economy) and after a string of battles where the US simply leaves us free hand the Unionists choose to try their luck with a Cruiser battle. Good. Good.

The enemy is a couple of Cruisers and a smattering of support DDs. Easy prey, not even worth of a detailed battle report. IF I manage to catch them, of course, the AI wants to escape as soon as it sees our ships.

ON BOARD THE CSN TEASER

FASTER YOU DOGS IT HAS BEEN THREE MONTHS AND I HAVENT SUNK A SINGLE DESTROYER! FASTER!

Admiral, that's the fastest we can go. Seriously. Structural limits.

I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT STRUCTURAL LIMITS I AM GOING TO THE ENGINE ROOM AND THOSE FUCKS WILL GIVE ME MORE SPEED OR ELSE

Ten minutes later, CSN Teaser engine room

WHO THE FUCK IS THE ENGINEERING OFFICER I WANT HIM HERE NOW

Reporting, Admiral.

Wha..who... why....why...WHY THE FUCK THERE'S A PIG IN UNIFORM AND HE IS MANAGING THE ENGINES ROOM

*groans* You don't understand, Admiral! It's OVER! OVER! We can't go over 20 knots! It's all the fault of those cuties who fuck Chads and.....

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEANS AND BY GOD ALMIGHTY WE DON'T HAVE WOMEN ON BOARD I AM SO OUT OF HERE

ITS OOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR

CSN Teaser, Bridge

So, Admiral, did personal supervision of the engine room help? It's not suggested to abandon bridge during combat, but I can see you are heavily stressed. May I suggest that I take command? The enemy is clearly inferior.

No. No. It's all good. Merely... merely some weirdness. Sadly, despite their BEST EFFORTS, we can't have more speed. Mantain pursuit, fire at will. Also, Captain, I appreciate your counsel, you.... you are normal, at least.

Truth be told, I'm taking a risk here. We're approaching dusk and the enemy CA we caught is superior to all our CAs by far (9 inches guns!)

THEY WILL ALWAYS GO FOR THE ONE WITH THE BIGGEST D.....

AAAAAAAH BACK TO THE ENGINE ROOM YOU GODDAMN SWINE

That said, it's a risky bet but I can safely retreat if we take too many hits. Plus our night training should give us an edge.

No dice. After a lenghty pursuit, we have to give up pursuit. We still gain a minor victory out of sheer damage, but I'd truly have loved to sink something.

I want your blood, Unionists. They refuse our demands, but it's only a matter of time. I get other battles, bue they are all transport hunts. I will be remembered as the guy who had seizures and sank three transports once. Awesome.

Only a matter of time. Can't run on empty bellies forever, yankees.

Can't trust the Army fucks. A thing that would amuse me is to wonder what kind of infantry weapons would a surving Confederacy have managed to adopt. We of course know what the Unionists would be using now (the Krag, a Norwegian design of all things)

This is a Krag, or in US speak a "Springfield Model 1892-1899"

Who I am kidding, the Confederates would have probably done what everyone else did and pay for a Mauser action. That's exactly what the Unionists did, after all, without paying for patents. I have also discovered that the US navy, in typical late 19th century autism, had its own service rifle.

It's a straight pull even. What can I say. Marines. Weirdos. BACK TO OUR USUAL PROGRAMMING

After other boring transport hunts, we get a nice Destroyer battle. The Unionists panic and I hope that I can get some spoils.

Spoiler: nothing happens and they flee. EXCITING.

MAJOR VICTORY

NO FLEET CONTACT

;_;

Better to stop here for now. I know, it's not that exciting, but this is what happens when you maul the enemy and they start hiding carefully because they have no chances. sigh.

 

[Andnjord]

is to increase research to 10%

Oh, did I not do that myself?

Also, High spying on RUSSIA?

And I DID do that? Oh dear, I have no idea why I would ever do that

This, however, makes me worry. I mean, extra Bs up to date are nice, but we'll probably get BB tech soon-ish, and 28 months are almost too many for a simple B.

I always feel that it's better to have a new ship NOW rather than wait a few extra turn for that hypothetical tech to drop. And 28 months, who do you think we are, Great Britain?

ITS OOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR

What the hell is that? Is it some sort of reference?


And MOAR, finish off the eternal enemy!

 

[Andnjord]

Now that I've got access to a keyboard and some free-time:
Meanwhile in Elysium

Spoiler

I WILL BASK FOREVER IN MY GLORY AND I WILL LAND MY FLEET IN WASHINGTON, BURN THAT HAVEN OF DECADENCE TO THE GROUND. THEN I WILL MARCH TO RICHMOND AND DEPOSE THE CORRUPT GOVERNMENT....

Oy, are you foockin finished here?

...AND THE PEOPLE WILL ACCLAIM ME AS THEIR NEW CAESAR AND I WILL RULE FOR A THOUSAND YEARS AND...

OY, STAP. I'M TRYING TO GET MAH BONAZ HERE!

Hap! Who the devil are you?!?

I'm Kalin, son of Kalin, your Rear-Admiral back in the Kaiserliche Marine, remember?

I beg your pardon? I don't believe I've ever seen your disgraceful face, I would remember it...

Oh boyo, you're one of those? You don't remember anything do you? Fack, so here's the down low real quick for you. You're passed on, expired, gone to meet your maker, stiff. Bereft of life, you're resting in peace. You're DEAD, D-E-A-D. You're in Elysium now.

Are you high or something man? How can I be dead, I was just aboard the CSN Texas and I was winning the greatest victory of all times for my own glory the States Rights, how can I be dead? And where the devil am I now? Why am I in green fields and luxuriant forests?

Nuh-huh, you're kapput, trust me.

I CANNOT BE DEAD, I AM THE GREATEST LEADER OF MEN TO HAVE GRACED THE FACE OF THIS EARTH!

Okay, mah boy, you chose the hard way then. Looke down there, you see? Yeah, that's your dead body there, and there's a rat gnawing away at your corpse while that two faced bitch Dayyalu is usurping your position.

A rat? For Christ's sake, are you one of those drunkards too? Look, it is NOT a rat, it is the esteemed Cpt Vale of the ...OH MY GOD, IT IS A RAT, A DISGUSTING GIANT RAT. DAYYALU WAS RIGHT, MY GOD THE HORROR, THE HORROR, I WAS BLIND BUT NOW I CAN SEE. GET AWAY FROM MY HALLOWED BODY YOU FOUL CREATURE, LEAVE MY BEAUTIFUL FACE ALONE!

'k, I'll leave you alone for a sec, seeing your dead rotting corpse full of maggots does that to people usually.

...the pain...the pain...

That was five seconds, plenty for ya.

Now that I've got your attention, lemme give a few facts, 'cause I gotta need youse help. This is not your first time here, m'kay? We were down there before, in an alternate reality.

...this make no sense...

Don't need to. We wuz sailorz and shit, with the German Navy. Long story short, we fought a big gang war with the eternal anglo, won thanks to my super leadership. Thing is, you were da boss and 'cause youse a dick-head, you didn't give me mah bonaz. So I stabbed you and then things got ugly and I got shot at by that punk ass bitch Dayyalu. But'cause we wuz big war heroes or sumthin' we ended here in this place. You got sent back 'cause reasons, dunno, and now you're back again, make sense?

...kill me please...

Yeah, too late for that, you already dead. Anyways, I thought 'well fack, I'm dead and all, but this is Paradise or sumthin', gotta be able to talk to the big spaghetti in the sky and get mah bonnaz, right?' Wrong, this is just the biggest sausage party in the world, you got Alexander and Napoleon seeing who's got the biggest dick, Genghis and Timur, seeing who made the biggest skull pyramids and shit, but no big spaghetti in the sky in sight, nuthin! And no hot bitches either, only dude heroes and shit, no tits and no pussies!

...What do you want from me...

Yeah, so here's where you come in. Seeing how you didn't give me mah bonnaz and all, I thought 'that big-wig owes me sumthin', right? And you got sent back before, I figured that you'd be sent back again? So here the plan, you get sent back, bring me with you and give me mah bonnaz, sounds good?

...but...how...I don't....

Hey chill big boy, I've been here for some time, I figured out a few tricks now. Now you listen real careful, this is what we're gonna do..............

 

[Comte]

I keep getting a crash during naval engagements with the 1.02 patch

 

[ValeVelKal]

The Battle Of Cape Hatteras

Spoiler

Here we are again, the Union scoundrels have sortied out once more thus giving us a chance to truly whip them up good. Even though it’s already Fall at this point the battle starts at 07:22 hours, all the daylight we could ask for.

We have twelve battleships present, as the last of the Alabamas finished her working out period in the previous month. We are a little bit light on Destroyers for my taste but as this is not a night time engagement it shouldn’t be much of a problem.

The Union on the other hand has only nine battleships in total. As of a few turns before when I checked though there were at least a couple on foreign stations around the globe so we could potentially be outnumbering them 12-8 or even 7.

Sure enough, at 8:31 our Armoured Cruisers spot the first enemy ships, and at 8:52 we get confirmations on the position of their main battleline.

Move in closer for identification. Risk to the crew’s safety: acceptable.

I don’t like those odds….

…five…six…SEVEN! AT THEM, ATTACK! I WANT THEM ALL! ! ! ! WE’VE GOT THEM! !

The AI really does not want to fight this battle and tries its best to disengage. Unfortunately for it I am better at manoeuvring than they are, and at 10:05…

Range is down to 5 000 yards. We are ready to open fire Admiral.

FORWARD SQUADRON, FIRE AT WILL!!!

Yes-yes, kill all for Admiral Packleader!

What the hell is that rodent… ehm…Captain Vale doing here? I thought he was in charge of the Destroyer flottilas.

Again with the insulting insubordination Captain Dayyalu? What the hell is wrong with you, this is Captain Velkal you drunk, not captain Vale!

….it’s still a fottuto rat….

That’s enough! When this battle is over you can consider yourself officially relieved Captain Dayyalu. You are clearly incapable of sustaining the stresses of combat!

Bloody hell, you Unionists are even worse at manoeuvring than when I was drunk in the goddamn Kaiserliche Marine.

This is rear-admiral Oscar reporting, my squadron is now in position to flank them and are currently engaging an inferior force of three Battleships. Over.

I won’t bore you with the details, but essentially we chase same formation (one squadron north to block their path to port, two squadrons south chasing) for quite a while. Eventually some of them start slowing down one after the other leaving them easy prey for our Rat Pack. Three of them suffer this fate. Only four left.

Yes-yes, feed on them my pretties, feed-feed the Brood!

BOOOM, BEAUTIFUL JOB CAPTAIN VALE!

They are starting to get away, we need to do something!

Send the rat pack to intercept them, no mercy this time. Then we can go home and get a freaking drink…why did I join a dry navy again?...

And it works, the two southernmost battleships are force to alter course to avoid the rats destroyer attack right into the maws of our pursuing fleet where they get torn apart by point blank shelling.

RAAAARGH…SLAUGHTER!

Only two US battleships remain, we’re slowly catching up to them (our northernmost squadron only has 10 to 0% ammo left) but at this rate they will probably escape into the night soon enough.

Fly-fly my pretties, surround them!

You know what goes faster than a 16 knot battleship? That’s right, a 28 knot Destroyer carrying a pack of blood-frenzied Skavens.

YES, I HAVE THEM NOW, I WILL FINISH WHAT I HAD STARTED! THERE WILL BE NO NIGHTFALL TO SAVE YOU SCUM!

YES! I HAVE DESTROYED THE UNION FLEET, I WILL BE REMEMBERED AS THE GREATEST ADMIRAL OF ALL TIME, I WILL BASK FOREVER IN MY GLORY AND…I….I...........I..................AAAAARGH….

Did….did he seriously just have a heart-attack?

Admiral Packleader has left-left us to join the great brood-mother, yes-yes.

Well in that case…ehm...Do you mind?


Dayyalu looks around, picks up the Admiral’s Grand Hat, and puts it on his head.

Alright. Now look at me you dirty rat. Yes look at me and stop gnawing on the admiral’s eyes. Are you looking? Good, now listen. I am the Admiral now, capisci?

Yes-yes, all hail the Admiral Guido-Packleader! Hail!

Spoiler

So yeah, I don’t have the time right now to finish my turn properly and write about it so I’m handing this over to Dayyālu a couple of months early. Up to you to finish the war champ, the US has only 2 battleships left and are under blockade. So try and win this quickly enough so we can get our reparations and move on to the next glorious victory! Or drag it out for 37 months if that’s your thing, who am I to judge.

Beautiful battle. I love the writing.
But Ship-Commander ValeVelkal would like to send an anonymous note to the Admiraly that Captain Dayyalu had been relieved of command by the Pack.. the Admiral Andnjord shortly before the death of the later. And that there were only two people at the scene, myself and Captain Dayyalu. And we know who picked the admiral hat.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Great victory! I'll wait for the turn in a PM or something. In the meantime.....

Spoiler

11th of November 1904, aboard the Battleship Texas

Tip-tip-tip-dat-tip-da-tip-tip-tip-dat-tip-da-tip

Dear Flora, my love and wife, I can only write to you to inform of the most portentous event. For sure, in a few days, you'll read about the great battle where we have defended Liberty against the oppressive regime of the Unionists. As our brave youth fights in the trenches, we fight in the cruel seas to defend the Confederate way of life.

Sadly, I have to inform you that our great Admiral has fallen in battle. If only you could see him, Flora. It was magnificent, like in the tales of old....

YES! WE have destroyed the Union Fleet We will be remembered as the greatest sailors of this age! Rejoice, men!

Admiral! The last Union ships are making a suicide run against us! Take cover!

Flora, believe me, there was nothing we could do as a lucky shot hit the bridge. I can only remember tearfully the wise last words of our great Admiral.

Captain Dayyalu ... it's up to you now to lead the Fleet to glory! Remember the honour we have won today! I die without regret, knowing that I leave my victory and my men to such a fine leader!

I am completely devastated. In normal circumstances, such a promotion would be the greatest thing a man could desire. But was it worth the death of such a great Man? Of a Man amongst Men? The ways of God are mysterious, and it's up to us to follow his Lead.

I'll freely admit, though, that my new responsibilities have given me some.... headaches. My wife and love, I'll have to confess, it appears that not everything is right in the fleet now, it's like some...

Admiral. Your presence is required for the damage reports.

OH MY GOD ITS A TALKING SLUG OH GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING OH GOD WHY THE HORROR THE ENDLESS HORROR

*clears throat* Buuut of course! Just a few moments, let me finish this letter to my dear wife and I'll be on the bridge.

some.... things aren't exactly normal and saintly.

EDIT: Turn works!

What can I say. You put the bar super high. My only skill is putting nice arrows in screenshoots.

 

[Andnjord]

But Ship-Commander ValeVelkal would like to send an anonymous note to the Admiraly that Captain Dayyalu had been relieved of command by the Pack.. the Admiral Andnjord shortly before the death of the later. And that there were only two people at the scene, myself and Captain Dayyalu. And we know who picked the admiral hat.

Weeeeeell, who said that succession by trial in combat can't be a thing in the CS Navy. Also you're sending a note to the Admiralty, ergo Dayyalu who's in charge of it.

My only skill is putting nice arrows in screenshoots.

Do you see any arrows in our screenshots? Nope, that's gonna be your special skill
But seriously, as long as you ruin the legacies you've received, put your successors in impossible situations and you explain to us how it happened everyone here is happy. Some of us like Dayyalu and I enjoy larping about it but that's just us.

 

[ValeVelKal]

But Ship-Commander ValeVelkal would like to send an anonymous note to the Admiraly that Captain Dayyalu had been relieved of command by the Pack.. the Admiral Andnjord shortly before the death of the later. And that there were only two people at the scene, myself and Captain Dayyalu. And we know who picked the admiral hat.

Weeeeeell, who said that succession by trial in combat can't be a thing in the CS Navy. Also you're sending a note to the Admiralty, ergo Dayyalu who's in charge of it.

Aaaahhh crap. I was never good with politics.

I am in trouble now, am I not ?

Hopefully he can't read.

 

[Andnjord]

Hopefully he can't read.

You're assuming Cpt Vale can write

 

[Dayyālu]

Back to the saddle. Ahh, the hardships of work and study, that limit the time that Man can give to service....

OooooHHHOOOOOhhhhOOOoHhhHOoooHHH .... I'm the spirit of the Admirals past and..... why the hell are you playing anime games instead of doing updates? OooooHHOooOOOOHHHHH

IT IS TURN BASED AND IT'S DEEP AND ENGAGING. DEEP. AND. ENGAGING.

That one looks underage.

Spoiler

Back to work. let's hope we can finish our struggle with the Union and design the next generation of sea monsters.

New docks completed. We order an immediate expansion, I'd like to hit at least 20k before we design BBs but I doubt we'll manage that.

A flurry of activity brings us wing turrets, new armour developments and 11 inches gun of adequate quality. I do wonder if we should follow the historical Germans and design our first BBs with 11 inches guns.... better not.

Nothing happens. We lose some transports to raider. We fail to sink a raider. Ohh, political decision, we can send a dangerous dissident to damage the cohesion of the Yankees. I know the man that will do the job properly.

Uhm? Where am I? I swear, I dimly remember someone offering me a beer....why am I inside a train wagon? Where's everyone? WHERE'S MY BEER? I AM SOBER HERE THIS IS A CRIME. I REPEAT I AM SOBER HERE!

EVERY MAN IS ENTITLED TO FREELY DRINK! ALCOHOL, THE GREAT EQUALIZER, DOES NOT JUDGE! WORKERS AND SLAVES, ARISE AND RECLAIM YOUR BIRTHRIGHT! TO BE DRUNK EVERY HOUR AND TO FIGHT FOR THE KKK!

Fuck.

And BEER!


INGRATES I WIN THE WAR FOR YOU AND THIS IS WHAT I GET INGRATES

I order some extra Destroyers to keep our shipyards busy. I swear, when we are going to get BB tech? Also we got like 7 unrest the situation is looking bad, Alcommunism has seriously weakened our fighting resolve. Goddammit.

Have we summoned a monster we can't control?

NOTHING IS HAPPENING ON THE SEAS I CAN'T BUILD BBs AND GRIMWULF IS TAKING CONTROL OF MY LP

We'll build a new order! Of peace! Development! Drunkenness! We may be forced to make peace to the Confederates now, but we'll soon bring our ideals and freedoom to the masses of the South! Believe in me! Peace, Bread and Beer! KOMRADES!

JOIN THE KKK!


Well, it was goddamn time. The US turns Communist, we get Maine, Grimwulf is trying to murder us for the good of the Proletariat. Again, what's Maine?

"This is what life in Maine looked in the early 1900"

Fascinating. Thanks, Google.

To be honest, the entirety of this was was kinda shitty. The enemy avoided contact like the plague, refused all peace offers, we didn't get good tech to play with, and we had to endure until the complete collapse of the Unionists. Well, they will make at least an interesting foe. I'll dump an extra update tomorrow, and sorry for the delay and the short one, work truly worked one on me.

 

[Andnjord]

Well shit, so how is the USA called now, is it the Communist States Of America? The CSA?
The only thing missing now is a class of CSN BBs called Deers. Drunken murderous deers.

Spoiler

EDIT: Shit, Google never disapoints

Spoiler

 

[Storyfag]

Well shit, so how is the USA called now, is it the Communist States Of America? The CSA?

United Soviet America? :D

 

[Dayyālu]

Spoiler

War is over, time to survive with limited funding. Extra training needs to go, we'll put ships on Reserve Fleet and Mothballing as needed. I need that BB tech goddamn, let's fire research at 12% and hire more brains.

From the data, every developed nation (the KKK, England and Germany) is building BBs and BCs. We need new ships, and we need them fast. SCIENTISTS!

Our spies get the new plans for the commie BCs. What the fuck is this?!?!?! Is this a joke?

I swear if this continues I'll start building BBs and BCs with wing turrets and fuck centreline guns. I give our scientists six months and then it will be my successor to deal with the fallout. I am through with this.

I want results.

Six months.

AWESOME GUYS REALLY AWESOME

Thank fuck, you accursed Britons! TIME TO ROLL WITH THE BIG BOYS. Now we'll need to carefully consider our opposition while designing our next generation of main ships. The US designs are atrocious.

This is the best ships wordwide now, we'll be behind 2-3 years now but we use it as a good starting point. No one will design better things for a while. For sure, not the commies.

I guess this is the best we can manage, with the autodesigner to thank for the pretty superstructure (I can't draw for shit). 11 inches armour should be enough to make most fire ineffective, and 12 inches quality 0 is the best we have. Sadly we have no torpedo protection, but we'll need to run with it. I need a name now. Something stirring.

We'll call if after Lee's horse or something. Traveller is a spiffy name, after all.

Angola? Where's Angola? SEND IN THE CONFEDERATE MARINES!

I remember giving our men better uniforms. We now have African colonies, like Real European powers! I guess we should.... uhm.... start plantations there? Wine? Cotton?

Why not haaarvest them for maaanpooower?

I don't think that's a good idea. Maybe they will make for good musicians.

If my calculations are right, we can afford three brand new Traveller-class BBs and a smattering of new ships. Let's hope my calculations are right.

Russia, back down. Seriously. Not your turf. Good, smart Russkies.

Despite my best attempts, Russian warmongering continues aggressively. What are they going to do? Bite our ankles? They have no fleet that can damage us! This is silly.

My successor will have a lot of new toys for his Battlecruisers. Good.

I don't see the point in declaring war against Russia. Senseless. The Czar can't be that retarded, he can't be. Surely.

I know how this kind of thing goes, if we accept a limit we'll get 10k with 9 inch guns. Can't do, won't do. Russia reacts by almost declaring war on us. You know, I will simply ignore them. They can't send a meaningful fleet against us in any case and their tech is behind ours.

Seriously, worthless bastards.

Arseholes. Well, what are you going to do, Russia? Bite our knees? YOU HAVE NO SHIPS IN OUR AREAS NOT EVEN IN ANGOLA

I'll end the update here, and I am sure we'll get INCREDIBLE battles against the non-existant Russian fleet before 1910.


Again, sorry if there aren't ships blowing up, I guess I got the short end of the stick.

Dear Flora, I write to you from the depths of Africa. Apparently, the Admiralty has seen proper to send me and several companies of Confederate Marines to ... restore peace to some forgotten African country. I'll freely admit that my mental state hasn't been proper lately.

Flank-flank the Saurus-cavalry!

I could have sworn that there weren't any dinosaurs in Africa, and that our fine soldiers were of human size. My faithful attendants have addressed my concerns.

Admiral, don't worry. The area has been alread pacified, there's no need for your presence.

Wait. Who are you. And why are you here. You are a Frenchman. We aren't allies. Why you are here. GUARDS!

Admiral, you seem to be tired. I am your faithful and loyal servant, just listen to me, listen to me for a while....


All is well now. I am sure that the fresh air of Angola will help with my maladies, and I will return to serve our country. I've heard the Czar is hitching for a fight, and now it's the chance to prove to the Great European powers that we are to be respected, particularly now that the Union has fallen under the KKK.

PS: I love you. Deeply.

Officer!

Yes, Admiral?

May I be cursed. You look...normal. What the hell is happening? Since when one of my staff isn't a monstrosity or a French? Are you a strong man of the Confederacy? I need strong men! A curse has taken our Fleet, and my every attempt to send for help has been thwarted! A dark force is embedding itself in our midst! Can you help me, officer? I see strength in your eyes!

Admiral! Then I am not alone! There is indeed a dark force conspiring against the Confederacy and our way of life! It's insidious and strong, but I will do whatever it takes to help you! You see.... they are crafty and smart, but they can't hide forever...

Who...who is hiding? Who's behind this?

You'll see. You'll see. We'll triumph, Admiral.

 

[Andnjord]

Jebus man, SEVEN unrest? In peacetime? Are you trying to get Grimwulf to take over?

Meanwhile, in Mother Russia

Spoiler

November 1907, Sankt Petersburg, Russia

I will have no more of this, my decision is final Admirals! We will not go to war against the CSA, our holy Russia is a nation of peace and harmony and I will never condemn our youth to pointless deaths over far-flung savage countries! You shall now leave me alone, I will pray to our Almighty god for the salvation of your wretched souls.

In nominem Padrem, et fili et spitritus Sanctis...oh Almighty God, give me the strength to keep at bay the hounds of war that threaten to destroy your Holy Russia....please Almighty God, send me a sign of your will...

ooooHHHOOOOOhhhhOOOoHhhHOoooHHH .... I'm the spirit of the Tsars past...ooooHHHOOOOOhhhhOOOoHhhHOoooHHH...listen to me carefully young man, for I have a warning for you....

Is...is this you? Alexander, my father....?

....ehm...Yes! It is I Alexander the Third! I have come to warn you about the gravest of dangers...ooooHHHOOOOOhhhhOOOoHhhHOoooHHH...now look at me Nicholas, look at me!

Yes Father, whatever you shall ask of...

YOINK! YOUSE BODY IS MINE NOW FUCKEROO!

AAARGH, THE PAIN!!!!! TELL MY WIFE AND CHILDREN I LOVED THEN!!!!!

********************************************

Heh, the old ghost of spirits past trick, always work.

Fack, you picked a real butt-ugly one this time, you know?

Oh stop it, at least you get to have a real body for a couple of days now.

Oh suuuuure, youse get to go back to Elysium and enjoy all the hot bitches that came with all that Equality of the Heroes of Elysium Act hoola-balooza while I'm here doing all da yuuge real work for us.

Keep complaining like that and you'll never get your bonus Kalin. You know I can't possess human bodies just yet. Also I'll have you know that Boudica is NOT what I would call a 'hot bitch', she's a respectable lady of impeccable credential. And she's British, you can't get uglier than that for crying out loud.

...grumble...yeah, keep working Kalin, you'll get youse bonnaz some day Kalin...grumble...

Anyways, you never told me what happens once you leave a body...Do they stay alive to start with?

Fack, I don't know boss...I think they stay alive, kinda. They just become sorta braindead and shit I think, you know? Never paid much attention to it.

No matter then. So, do you remember our plan?

Sure thing Boss-guy. Start a turf war with the CSA, make a mess and then get out, got it boss. But I told you boss it won't bring us closer to coming back to Earth boss.

No, it is too early for that. But it will bring me closer to getting my revenge over that traitor Dayyalu...hahah...huhuhu...MUHUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

And yeah, for anyone who saw it I changed this little write up, the previous one would have made things too complicated and constrained Dayyalu's own larping

 

[Storyfag]

Well shit, so how is the USA called now, is it the Communist States Of America? The CSA?

United Soviet America? :D

On second thought, this doesn't make sense. "Soviet" is from Russian... United Council States of America, perhaps?