In Progress Let's Succeed at Ruling the Waves 2: Electric Boogaloo

[ValeVelKal]

Secretary of the Navy ValeVelKal, part 7 - February - December 1932

We-We also need ... BIG SHIP. For-for Yankee. C-Cannot trust. No-no. Cannot !

We-We call new ship name p-pillar of our c-community ! Slaveowner-class. F-first one : Slaveowner Robert E. Lee !

Stop right there, you fool !

Who-who you are !

​

Don't you recognize me ! I am Jefferson Davis, or rather, his ghost.

Oh ! Thanks-s for s-slavery ! B-beautiful victory !​

No ! You don't understand ! I am the Jefferson Davis of the original timeline. In the original timeline, our beautiful cause was defeated !

W-what ?​

But shortly before surrendering, Vice-President Alexander Stephens and myself made a pledge. Until the end of time, we would travel through space and dimension to make sure that the idea of a Confederation would be seen as a Lost, beautiful, Cause.

...mkay ?
​

To make sure our cause would be seen as noble, we need you not to mention slavery. The very mention of the Peculiar Institution would turn our allies into bitter foes. No ! Claim Slavery was abolished ! By those who historically fought for it ! Claim men are more free and happy in the South than the urban proletariat of the North ! It is the only way to make our cause palatable, and noble. Our only way to make it look like it was a fight for the greater Good !

Me don't care p-palatable. Slaves n-normal ! S-same rats ! R-rats eat smaller rats !​

No ! Please ! At least change the name of your ship ! Do not involve our general Lee in slavery matters ! You cannot remind everyone that the first Gentleman of the South was a slaveowner ! Please !

Get away, w-weird g-ghost in w-weird dr-dream !

Here is ship ! Changed my-my mind. Two s-sister ships will be Slaveowner Washington and-and Slaveowner Jefferson. W-will remind yankees F-Founding F-father were like Conf-f-federates !
​

So I chosed to go for a relatively "small" BB in terms of tonnage to be able to have 2 of them.
- Speed of 24 (edit - soon : 25) "only" makes it faster than any US BB at 23, though of course with all forward armement running away will be tricky. In addition, our intelligence might be incorrect.
- Short range as I plan to station them in US home waters and patrol every week in front of Washington so the yankees have a weekly reminder of what their founding fathers thought of slavery !

These sacrifices allow me to have a massive armor despite the "pocket size", in particular :
very high deck armor protect them from any long range shots from a similar gun size 16 quality 1.
very high turret armor, since I am learning from my Nathan Bedford Forrest-class mistake and in particular I was taught that if you have only 2 turrets, you better heavily armor them,
- Of course, massive AA and level 3 torpedo protection.

Meanwhile, in Richmond the post-war era saw the Confederate Economy grow rapidly, allowing the government to focus on develop railroads and other infrastructure :

... and with these new railroads and these new industry, maybe we will finally be able to get rid of slavery in our country !




Thank you President Hull, I knew you were someone reasonnable !


OH LORD ! WHY ARE MY OPINION POLL NUMBERS COLLAPSING ! EVERYONE IN THE SOUTH HATES ME FOR HINTING THAT SLAVERY WAS MAYBE BAD. SOMEONE DO SOMETHING !

IT IS YANKEE'S F-FAULT ! THEY SNEAK R-RAILS IN OUR C-COUNTRY. WE NEED TO KILL-KILL THEM ALL !


​

That's stupid ! Now people hate me AND the yankees are mobilizing their large fleet. Can someone do something SMART ?

Et bien, Monsieur le Président. I have a proposition for vous ! It will help on both problèmes !

I recently acquis a manufacture in Louisiane. I can propose you to build new vaisseaux made entièrement with servile energy !

S-stupid ! We no n-need those ships !


We specialize in grand destroyers !
​

We n-need four-four of these ships !

​

So our CL line-up was pretty lackluster, with
- 3 old Nathan Bedford Forrest-class, primarly raiders,
- 2 Teaser-class, well-designed but mine-layers.

I felt like we needed some workhorse CL that could do at the same time some picket/scouting for the battleline and also defend the battleships against airplanes. I also prefer my CL cheap - hence 5000 tons only.
The four ships are the Louisiane, Lafayette, Nouvelle-Orléans and Baton Rouge.


You do this ! Meanwhile I tame down the US !

Looks like I managed to calm them down. Next time, blame another country, Secretary ValeVelKal

Sir YES SIR ! Immediately !

VE-VENEZUELA IS SNEAKING RAILS IN L-LOUISIANA TO DESTROY OUR INSTI-TI-TUTION ! WE KILL-KILL THEM ALL !





What ? Secretary ! Bring the fleet back immediately ! We need it against the Americans !

But... Sir YES SIR !




​

 

[ValeVelKal]

I am quite amused that the chaos of multiple commanders mostly reflected on a shitton of Destroyer
classes that are born of different uses and ideas for them.

No such thing as obsolete destroyers. Someone's got to do that trade protection thingy during wartime, and ain't there no better way to handle it than mothballed 500ton 1899 destroyers that cost 2 gold per month in peacetime.

Plus they soak up random sub attacks saving your pride of the fleet from getting headshot for lulz. And the AI always goes full retardo on subs when you kill off his real ships.

Regarding Air, I hope we are cutting down significantly on Land Air, it's murder but it's also murder on the budget.

I keep some 5-6 bases worth of aircraft in reserve and deploy them to whatever theatre most of action happens at. No need to stack up every base out there, just keep them ready for emergency.

I can only agree with you. The Duncan Ingraham-class costs 9/month, and only because I can't be bothered to MB them.

If you have some experience, care to take a turn ? We need fresh blood.

Also, question - how to you redesign a ship so you benefit from the 10% bonus from not getting to far away from preexisting design ?

[I might have left by mistake some aircraft hangar on the Slaveowner Washington er hmm]

 

[mondblut]

If you have some experience, care to take a turn ? We need fresh blood.

Eh, no, I am not an AAR or larping type. Fun read though, but alas, I can't contribute.

Also, question - how to you redesign a ship so you benefit from the 10% bonus from not getting to far away from preexisting design ?

Right click on ship, select "open design" (not "for rebuild") and there will be 10% to tinker with.

 

[ValeVelKal]

So I found out that I can easily "fix" the issue with the Slaveowner having planes & hangar (for 500 weights or so) my creating a new slaveowner2, then deleting the original Slaveowner file and renaming Slaveowner2 => Slaveowner.

Should I do it or should I roll with the mistake ?

 

[Andnjord]

...Wait, there are 'underwater destroyers' in RTW....?....That's just a photoshop on your part, right? In which case well played sir, well played

About the 'Founding Fathers' class, I doubt their uber deck armor will actually get any use due to the engagement range I've personally experienced (But maybe that's just me being an aggressive maniac), but at least it will keep out most if not all of the late game 1500+ pounds bombs dive bombers will drop like candy late game. And it should be easy to refit them with all 5'' DP secondaries once we get access to them.

And I like our new CLs, they look like the Nuremberg class ships of real life.

But we can mostly see the madness of successions with the design of our BBs. I made fast medium sized ones, Dayya made monster-sized fast ones and Vale is making small and slow ones. At least there are 4 fast ones now, that should guarantee that they form up together in an independent squadron come the fleet battle with the US.

Speaking of which, could we get an almanac screenshot of the US fleet?

So I found out that I can easily "fix" the issue with the Slaveowner having planes & hangar (for 500 weights or so) my creating a new slaveowner2, then deleting the original Slaveowner file and renaming Slaveowner2 => Slaveowner.

Should I do it or should I roll with the mistake ?

I'd say do it but pause their construction for a couple of months. It's not like historical navies didn't change the design of their ships aaaall the time while in construction. Just look at the French Flotte d'Echantillon. Or check out the video When Hotels go to War, he does a good job at conveying the madness of French naval planning in that period.

 

[ValeVelKal]

...Wait, there are 'underwater destroyers' in RTW....?....That's just a photoshop on your part, right? In which case well played sir, well played

Well, I know my French dead-end submarines history… Comte is presumably French… we are in 1933...

… I had to add this picture to the game

Though actually with an 8 inch the Surcouf would be an "light cruiser that go underwater"

But we can mostly see the madness of successions with the design of our BBs. I made fast medium sized ones, Dayya made monster-sized fast ones and Vale is making small and slow ones. At least there are 4 fast ones now, that should guarantee that they form up together in an independent squadron come the fleet battle with the US.

More like - I like cheap . You will be happy to know that removing the hangar allowed me to make the Slaveowner-class go at 25 knots (and add a couple heavy AA)

Speaking of which, could we get an almanac screenshot of the US fleet?

January 1934, where I am presently :

I'd say do it but pause their construction for a couple of months. It's not like historical navies didn't change the design of their ships aaaall the time while in construction. Just look at the French Flotte d'Echantillon. Or check out the video When Hotels go to War, he does a good job at conveying the madness of French naval planning in that period.

OK, done then.
Actually, you need to change 3 things :
- The Slaveowner file, that you need to replace with the new file,
- In said "new" slaveowner file, you also need to edit the name of the ship, so it is not "slaveowner2" (cosmetic change)
- In the main save, you need to update the description of the ship which is stored independantly and not updated when you change the ship (so remove aircrafts, and increase speed). Also a cosmetic change.

 

[ValeVelKal]

So Comte oscar will you be taking next round ?

 

[Andnjord]

January 1934, where I am presently :

I mean...sure...lots of essentially Traveller-Class equivalents...none that can actually outfight the Admiral class and successors one on one...But that is still a shitload of capital ships. That is going to be a tough war. Our flying rats better perform as well as we hope.

 

[Andnjord]

To the CS-Navy Design Bureau.

To rationalize our ASW fleet, I would like to humbly submit this design to the admiralty, the Dayyalu KE-class named in honor of the retired secretary of the navy. Optimized for ASW warfare, it should provide our navy with unparalleled submarine protection at a fraction of the cost of our current hodge-podge of decayed destroyers. Boasting a ASW theoretical valuation of eight (8), it is twice as effective in its role compared the Duncan-Ingraham DD for almost the same maintenance cost. Ample free tonnage would enable it to be refitted with a sea-plane hangar and two (2) floatplanes should the enterprising great-admiral desire.

Spoiler

Signed: Captain Andnjord

600 tons is the minimum for KE to not be disbanded in peacetime, while 900 is the minimum to carry 4 K-guns. I think it will be allowed to be refitted with Forward ASW mortar once we get the tech, for a total ASW value of 10. I think airplanes grant better ASW, but in our 1930 save it didn't seem to do anything. Maybe its because we don't have the tech for it yet but this is why they're not included yet. You could also optimize it further by dropping the speed lower and getting rid of the AA guns, but it would start to feel weird and gamey at this point in my mind.

EDIT: Fuck it, drop the speed to 16 knt, take out the AA guns and you have a ship that has twice the ASW score of the Duncan's at only 8 ship bucks per month. DO EEEEET

REDIT: Iceland's base needs to be improved. Again :D

 

[ValeVelKal]

Well, I finished my part so you ll have the pleasure to do it ; I left a lot of cash and a limited surplus to the next guy.

I expanded Iceland, but only once. It will be a nice station for the Slaveowner class as it allows access to French, German, UK and Russian home water.

 

[Comte]

So Comte oscar will you be taking next round ?

Sorry guys I got so many PBEM wargames going I won't be able to take on another round right now plus muh kids are taking all my time.

 

[Andnjord]

So Comte oscar will you be taking next round ?

Sorry guys I got so many PBEM wargames going I won't be able to take on another round right now plus muh kids are taking all my time.

Alright, unless oscar manifests himself soon I can take the turn after this week-end.

 

[ValeVelKal]

So Comte oscar will you be taking next round ?

Sorry guys I got so many PBEM wargames going I won't be able to take on another round right now plus muh kids are taking all my time.

Alright, unless oscar manifests himself soon I can take the turn after this week-end.

You sound very sure...

... can the Louisiana clique trust a ghost ?

 

[Andnjord]

So Comte oscar will you be taking next round ?

Sorry guys I got so many PBEM wargames going I won't be able to take on another round right now plus muh kids are taking all my time.

Alright, unless oscar manifests himself soon I can take the turn after this week-end.

You sound very sure...

... can the Louisiana clique trust a ghost ?

They don't need to trust a ghost , they just need to break the glass ceiling and allow the first strong independent woman who needs no man to take charge. Captain Andnjord, second of her name will be ready!

 

[ValeVelKal]

Secretary of the Navy ValeVelKal, part 8 - January- November 1933

Hello Secretary ! Today is an important day !
What ? New-new d-destroyer t-technology ? New air t-technology ?
No, no sadly ! It is the day we choose which floatplane will equip the Slaveowner class. After careful study, I narrowed it down to the Palmetto P100, made in Louisiana, and the Palmetto P105, also made in Louisiana. Of course, we could put one of...
W-what are adv... w-wait ! WHO PUT F-FLOATPLANE ON BA-BATTLESHIP :



You evidently. You even signed twice. Two crosses, for two floatplanes !
Me-me never see this ! Who-who gave you ?
Well, Monsieur Comte brought it to me...
Ahhh ça alors. J'ai heard mon nom through the door.
Oui, oui. Les hydravions… Monsieur le Président said he wanted more avions, n'est-ce pas ? Imaginez your battleship lose its couvertures de carriers. You will be very content to have a seaplane. Avez-vous thought at ceci ?

N-no ! Planes go-go on c-carriers.​

D'accord, d'accord. but avez-vous throught at élections ? C'est next year. Do you know how much I reçoit for each of these hydravions ? Twice what I reçoit for normal avions. And that monnaie is put to good usage, Monsieur ValeVelKal.

Me alive, n-never floatplane on b-battleship. And s-shody. Slow s-ship ! Remove. Remove now-now !​

I hear vous, Monsieur ValeVelKal !


-------------------


Are we alone ?
Oui...

L'admi-rat résiste... Tu sais ce qu'il te reste à faire, Baud !
Oui ! Vive la Louisiane ! Vive la Francophonie !

-------------------

We have a new technology, Mons... I mean, Secretary ValeVelKal. It makes landing a plane on a carrier extra safe !

​

I w-want test-test !
Of course ! I personally prepared your plane, Secretary

...

Oh no ! Who could have seen it coming ! The plane exploded mid-flight !​

​

Most probably the training bombs had been replaced with live ordonnance by mistake, bombs which for some mysterious exploded while Secretary ValeVelKal was heafing toward the Roger Mills...

Even if he had somehow survived the explosion, the fall would have been fatal... one thousand feet...

... and now everything is burning, we won't be able to investigate what just happened... Only the charred body of Secretary ValeVelKal will remain...
... let's go see the President. I have the perfect candidate to be Secretary. And he has some experience in the role.

...

Mr President, we have some terrible news !
Oh my God ! Tell us, Baud !
Yes-yes, p-please tell us !
ValeV... wait ! You can't be ValeVelKal ! It is not possible !
What ? You are not yourself !​

We-we working ! Get away !
I .... I ... Sir Yes Sir !
As I was saying, Secretary, please do not blame any country on this continent. Blame some minor country in Europe next time ! One that can't reach us !
Und-d-erstood ! P-pick one randomly in Eu-Europe ! G-germany ?


​

Germany is fine. The French and the English will keep them in line, and it is not like they risk challenging us.

​

Ah well ! Talk about overreaction !

I am sorry old chaps ! No one likes the German, but my government is afraid you bring us in some conflict in Europe ...​

​

We-we still got F-France !




O-ok. We-we need help F-France at any cost !

B-better get r-ready for war...





​

 

[ValeVelKal]

Quick question :

Confederate constitution states Presidents are elected for 6 years, only once.
Jefferson Davis got the provisional role of President in 1861, and got elected for real late 1861 / sworn in in 1862...

… which means President Cordell Hull is leaving at the end of this year (well, in February of 1934 to be accurate)

So in your opinion, who are the candidates ?

 

[Andnjord]

Oui ! Vive la Louisiane ! Vive la Francophonie !

Was that your initial plan for setting up your succession?

You could use John N Gardner, FDR's Vice President from Texas.

Also, welcome aboard Commissar Draco !

 

[ValeVelKal]

o Oui ! Vive la Louisiane ! Vive la Francophonie !

Was that your initial plan for setting up your succession?

You could use John N Gardner, FDR's Vice President from Texas.

Also, welcome aboard Commissar Draco !

Ah nice. I was thinking about Edwin S. Broussard, of the powerful Cajun Broussard family. He would have been the candidate backed by Comte's money.

Wait, Commissar Draco joined the succession ??...
… because I just had found a new player and wanted to surprise all of you with it, so I propose it iis going to be "ValeVelKal - Surprise guy - Commissar Draco"

 

[Andnjord]

o Oui ! Vive la Louisiane ! Vive la Francophonie !

Was that your initial plan for setting up your succession?

You could use John N Gardner, FDR's Vice President from Texas.

Also, welcome aboard Commissar Draco !

Ah nice. I was thinking about Edwin S. Broussard, of the powerful Cajun Broussard family. He would have been the candidate backed by Comte's money.

Wait, Commissar Draco joined the succession ??...
… because I just had found a new player and wanted to surprise all of you with it, so I propose it iis going to be "ValeVelKal - Surprise guy - Commissar Draco"

No, I just did that because I saw him brofisting about every single post in the thread in quick succession like he'd just found it and was reading it. Unless he'd manifest himself and ask for it I don't think he intends to join the succession. Please go ahead with your plans.

 

[baud]

Oui ! Vive la Louisiane ! Vive la Francophonie !

Was that your initial plan for setting up your succession?

And then I would freed Quebec from the clutches of the British Empire and created the Alliance Francophone Américaine, to show France how it's done. Too bad my masterful plan failed and Valekval survived/had a clone ready/had a doppelgänger do the flight test.

 

[ValeVelKal]

Secretary of the Navy ValeVelKal , part 8 - November 1933 - February 1934

Well, as suspect that as usual you know why I summoned you !​

N-not at all !

Ah come on ! Don't be modest ! Congratulation for your election as the new President of the Confederation
What-what ? Me no-no read Newspaper !
You really are the master, aren't you ? Your candidature shortly before that accident which you miraculously, err, "survived", the whole schtick "I don't campaign at all but look at this new likeable animated character that HAPPENS to be a rodent and that HAPPENS to be captain of a Steamboat…"
He... I m-mean ... I applied ???
Come on ! The whole country laughted at how you defeated the USA, I mean, "Pete", using you wits and your nimbless !
And your politics ! Tough on the bullies of the world : Germany, the USA, Venezuela... The industrial development in Louisiana with countless ships and planes… And adamant support for slavery, of course !
Let's not forget : your insistance on speaking only English - with very simple grammar - to make sure the simple and really everyone afraid of the French taking over would vote for you..
Hmmm ! O-ok ! All-all planned ! Now-me President !
In four months, Secretary of the Navy ValeVelKal, in four month.
OK, I go home. Call me in four-four months.​

​

​

 

[ValeVelKal]

Secretary of the Navy <Vacant> , part 1 - February 1934 - December 1934

Well-well ! Me P-President !

How you get h-here !
Et bien Monsieur. I come to propose my services as the new Secretary of the...
OK ! You Secretary of State !
Mais je wante…​

I order one-one new l-large destroyer !
D'accord Monsieur !
You-you solve B-Balkans ! You-you c-calm all those p-people ! A-Austrians, R-russians, G-g-germans ! C-comfort po-position of CSA. Instore p-peace in Yugoslavia ! Se-securize the region !
Oui Monsieur !


[ Also, I want new-new Slaveowner-Class. H-Hamilton !
But Monsieur, was Hamilton even an esclavagiste ?
They-they debate. Q-question be v-virus for-for USA !



At ce sujet, je know someone for Secrétaire de la Navy ! Monsieur Baud !​

No n-need for S-secretary of N-Navy ! Navy p-perfect ! Now-now, let me s-sleep !

No political supervision ??? Oh boy !

What if we used some sort of protuding shape at the bow of the ship, below the waterline, to break the water and reduce drag ?​

Not bad, but see what I propose : what if we had an amphibious tractor that would allow us to land heavy equipment DIRECTLY on the enemy shore ?

​

Great ! But now this ! What if we standardized our fuze by expected altitude of the target, rather than set it manually everytime ?

Incredible ! My turn again : What if we used some some sort of special clutch which, err, works better by, err... OK you got me I stole it from the Limeys​

Amazing ! What if we reviewed dizains of thousands of landings on carriers to know what went well and what went wrong to improve our landing practices ?


… yes ? ... no ?

Yawn ! OK you do that !

What if rather we aimed BETTER !
​

Nice ! But hear me out : What if we slowly increased the official tonnage of "destroyers" so next time the President asks us to make destroyers, we can actually make cruisers instead ?



GENIUS !!! But I have better : what if we used our 5 inch guns... against air targets !!!!

Pointless. 4 inch is totally enough and 5 inch rate of fire is not fast enough...
Awww

….

Monsieur, your laissez-faire, laissez-dormir policy bears its economic fruits...

Et the opinion Américaine finds vous relatable and don't want to wage war contre vous !​

But, euhhh, the Français have tried several times to contacter our Secretary de la Marine, without succès ! Fait que they found us "not sérieux !"

Squeeaaakk

And the Américains are trying to saisir some international concessions in Tonkin !

N-Never !

Uh... Now we need réellement someone to take charge of the Marine... Ideally someone qui knows where le Tonkin is. Can I propose you B...

F-Fine ! F-FINE ! N-next person that go-go through d-door, is Secretary of Navy !

...

...

... La door ! Someone arrive !
Hello, Mr President, Mr Secretary. I came to bring ... why are you looking at me like this !

...

...

Muahahahahaha ! AHAHAHAHAHAH ! Ahahaha !

Of c-course, not-not wo-woman. N-next p-person !

Merci my child. Vous can leave the room. And go fetch Baud, please...
​

--------------

​

...

...

Why-why no one co-coming ?

Vous told us to let you sleep, remember ? Putain, où est Baud ?

... the d-door ! it m-moves !
Bonjour Monsieur Le Président !

Who-who ?
I came to talk about the new design for the army uniform !

​

​

 

[ValeVelKal]

Well, that's it for it, with a new player coming soon…

https://ufile.io/ogk6f409

He may have been involved in some Punic adventure earlier on.

I wanted to put a joke based on Hamilton the Musical, but I was long in words short on content enough already. Also, I got to put "admi-rat" once, so one stuff in one stuff out the cosmic karma is respected.

 

[baud]

Vous told us to let you sleep, remember ? Putain, où est Baud ?

... In conclusion, switching our primary language to French would enable us to open new, broader relationships with France and all its colonies and reduce Communist influence coming from our neighbor in the North. It will also even perhaps help us get a position in Quebec, on the other side of the Commie's lines! Any questions ?

 

[Andnjord]

Pointless. 4 inch is totally enough and 5 inch rate of fire is not firing fast enough...

Pah, is this what I get for having preached all 5'' secondaries since the design of the Admiral Class? Pah!