In Progress Let's Succeed at Ruling the Waves 2: Electric Boogaloo

[baud]

Got bored yesterday, enjoy!

First order of business, you will disband all the airgroups except the one from Portland. We cannot afford to pay our aviators to shoot down fishes or whatever they think they're getting paid to do in Iceland. Please leave me now, I shall retire in my study.

Here's the airfield of the Iceland squadron. Tough job, demobilizing those brave lads showing the flag here in the middle of nowhere.

... So-so, I dropped my-my bombs on commie-mie ships, avoiding their guns, but then my motor-tor stopped!

No-No?! What-at happened?

Hum.

You see-see, I suspected a sabotage from-from one of pack-mate, jealous-ous of success, so I had prepated a new-new invention, called an anti-chute, so I didn't fell-fell to my death with the flying-ing destroyer.

Ooooh!

Excuse me, sir?

You see, I wasn't out of-of troubles, the sea there was full of-of sharks... What-at? Can't you see I'm retelling-ing propaganda, I mean my-my exploits?

Commodore Baud, I am here regarding an important piece of news for your squadron.

Commodore delivering news? Me smell a furry rodent.

Well, those are grave news indeed and I prefer to deliver them in person, better than impersonal memo from high command. But to tell the truth it's also giving me the opportunity to seclude myself from my new boss, who's really way too keen at looking at our ledgers, plans and deployment orders in details.

No problem with-with boss-man looking at details, knows better, no-no?

Well, first it's boss-woman and second it's always about assets this and asset that with that bitch, so she could discover how I've allocated funds normally intended to the air squadrons ...

Huh?

...towards more important pursuits, like my Francophonie projects, parties, junkets to the arms manufacturers, resale of slightly used assets and all that.

Seems li-like you're about to have an ass-asset issue soon. HuHuHu.

Wait-Wait, funds for air-air squadrons? Like me-mine air squadrons?

Hum, see, hum, maybe? Merde, j'ai parlé trop vite.

YOU THE REA-REASON NO FUEL HERE? THAT HAVE TO EAT RO-ROTTEN FISH AND HUNT FOR SEA-SEAGULLS?

It's not as if you were of any use, lost in the middle of the ocean, planes out of range of anything! In any case...

Out of-of range because no fuel! But I like the fi-fish here.

No money for anything! And the last recruit you sent was a SKUNK!

Rat, skunk, same difference and don't use that tone with me, I still outrank you. And it's a moot point, since the squadron is officially disbanded.

Rank my-my tail! I'll have-have revenge for this!... What? Disbanded, my-my squadron?

Yes, your squadron, like most of them, are closed to save money, removing by the same way an easy source of funding for me.

This is not-not finished! I'll reveal your emblez... emzzelm... embezzement, argh, your thievery to the high-high command!

If you dare rat me out to the pack leader, you'll get to fall with me and without your 'anti chute' this time! Most of funds reallocation were signed by your hand, I mean paw.

What? How?

Well, you shouldn't have left that stack of blank pre-signed orders lying around...

But they make man-management much-much easier...

Well my message was delivered, I'll leave you to pack your 'things-things' and go back to the métropole, I'm leaving on a tour of the French arsenals. So Long, and thanks for all the fish!

 

[Andnjord]

Wrapping up.

Spoiler

With the US navy lying almost entirely at the bottom of the sea, it is time to start thinking about the needs of the navy for the future. While I wouldn't mind a couple more modern Battleships and a shitton more cruisers and destroyers, we are desperately behind in terms modern fleet carriers. While our CV conversions are fairly decent they are tremendously inefficient at their primary role for the tonnage they displace, and while the opposite is true for the CVL, they only carry 34 aircraft into battle, far too little to overwhelm enemy defenses and defend themselves or their fleet.

********************************

Mr. President, after combing through the ledgers and purging our most wasteful expenses, I have been able to prepare this Five Year plan for your perusal.

Good-good oh pack-leader. But me expect real results, not fake p-production numbers and fake re-painted s-ships.

Of course Mr. President, we are not the degenerates of the North and we are not god-less socialists. If you'll allow me...

1. All Battleship production is to stopped upon completion of the CSS Dixieland.
2. One new dedicated fleet carrier is to be put into production every year. With the addition of our current CV-conversion, this should provide us with six fleet-carriers by the end of the five year plan, with two more in production.
3. The ASW fleet will have to be rebuilt from the ground up, all the non-combat capable DD (the Duncan Ingraham, the Rat Packers...) will be scrapped to be replaced by the KE design submitted some years ago by an anonymous enterprising Captain.
4. All our Battleships will have to be refitted. Their AA suite standardized using our excellent new 5'' guns, their Fire-Control modernized and provided with their own floatplanes to provide Air Recon.
5. Budget permitting, new destroyers and cruiser should be built, but due to budget restraints they will be of secondary importance to the previous three priorities.

No Battleships? How will we destroy the enemy fleets?

Mais...without croiseurs...how will the proud workers of Louisiana earn their living...

How will we finance la Francophonie...

Most good-good! Have plan for Brood-mothers?

Of course Mr. President. Our engineers are still finalizing the designs, but allow me to introduce the Vale Victis, the future of our navy. I had it named in honor of the great visionary of the Destroyers with Wings.

E-excellent! Offensive strong, no useless armor. Many Destroyers with Wings! Name g-good, clever p-pun. Flattery accepted! You may proceed.

For the record, here is the KE that will replace our ramshackle of creaky Destroyers. They provide twice the ASW trade protection for only half the price.

************************
The Charleston-class CL are currently being finished. When all five are finished I'm able to proceed with my construction plan.

As you can see the KE are extremely cheap, so much so I will have 30 of them built by the end of my turn. On the other hand the Dixieland is enormously expensive, costing just under twice the amount our new Carrier costs. I thought about cancelling it for a moment, but decided that it would not be kosher to cancel the legacy of a fellow admiral.

We get to pick a new Fighter plane

A tad less maneuverable than their predecessor, our firepower jumps from three to eight. Our flying rats have grown some big teeth. My choice goes to the Confederate Airmotive CA, the fastest and most durable of the three.

Sporadic fighting continues throughout spring and summer

But the US navy cannot oppose us anymore.

SURRENDER YOU MISERABLE WENCH. YOU ARE DOOMED AND WILL STARVE SOON

NEVER! IT IS BETTER TO LET HALF THE PEOPLE DIE SO THE OTHER HALF CAN EAT THEIR FILL. YOU WILL SELL ME THE ROPE THAT I WILL HANG YOU WITH. And we still have a ton of vodka and beer anyways.

Couple of months later....

AN ARMY WITHOUT BEER IS A DULL WITTED ARMY, AND A DULL WITTED ARMY CANNOT....Fuck, no more alcohol...

PEOPLE OF AMERICA, WE ARE ADVOCATES OF THE ABOLITION OF WAR, WE DO NOT WANT WAR; BUT...

Shut-up d-drunk man. Just s-sign here and here.

*******************************************

With the war over, I can proceed with my plan of finally retiring a bunch of forty years old ships to replace them with our efficient and cheap KE.

And here is a end of war Almanac shot:

 

[baud]

Vale Victis

:D

That's a good one.

 

[TheLoneGunman]

Loving the update! :D

 

[Chaosdwarft]

I have been a long time lurker on the playground section of this forum. You guys always crack me up, although I'll admit I might not understand all the jokes.

I just wanted to thank you all for this AAR. You made me buy the game. And its is as wonderful as Aurora or Dwarf Fortress.

Merci à tous les franco-français et autres francophones, je ne savais pas que vous étiez aussi nombreux sur ce forum.

Many thanks from a French-Spanish hybrid.

 

[Storyfag]

You guys always crack me up, although I'll admit I might not understand all the jokes.

Well, we can give you some background info if you like. Just say the word.

 

[baud]

je ne savais pas que vous étiez aussi nombreux sur ce forum.

C'est plus le hasard qu'on se retrouve tous dans le même fil de discussion.

Bienvenue aussi

 

[Chaosdwarft]

I was wondering, can a nation that has turned communist, be toppled through a counter-revolution? It just seems weird that the socialist soviet republics in this game can't disintegrate.

Also do AI nations go to war with each other? So far in my run it seems I am the only one who is getting into wars.

Cheers!

 

[ValeVelKal]

Sad-sad. No more update.

 

[Chaosdwarft]

Sad-sad. No more update.

Did someone get the save torpedoed by soviet scum?

 

[Dayyālu]

Who the hell has the save?

IT IS TIME TO END THIS BEFORE ANOTHER HD CRASH CLAIMS ITS VICTIMS

Andnjord !

 

[ValeVelKal]

I Wonder if the "5 years during which the archives burnt" did not kneecap the will to carry on of Andnjord.

If so, we may want to roll back a bit. It is true that not knowing what happened during that critical and long awaited war vs the USA is a bit of a miss ;(

 

[Norfleet]

Also do AI nations go to war with each other? So far in my run it seems I am the only one who is getting into wars.

My guess is that due to the way wars seem to require deliberate escalation of tension and the AI lacks any particular will to do so, only the player will intentionally provoke wars since only the player takes directed actions.

 

[Dayyālu]

My guess is that due to the way wars seem to require deliberate escalation of tension and the AI lacks any particular will to do so, only the player will intentionally provoke wars since only the player takes directed actions.

It's mechanically impossible for AI nations to go to war, unless modded, and even modding that found several problems. I hope they'll manage to solve them sooner or later.

If so, we may want to roll back a bit. It is true that not knowing what happened during that critical and long awaited war vs the USA is a bit of a miss ;(

Da, da. I need to take back control on this. Sorta. Kinda.

 

[Norfleet]

So, it's basically just you vs. the world, the AI nations never fight each other, not even in a low-resolution way?

 

[mondblut]

So, it's basically just you vs. the world, the AI nations never fight each other, not even in a low-resolution way?

Yeah. At best you can drag an ally into war and be treated with random popups telling that the pride of their fleet was sunk by a mine or that their operations brought you 100 more victory points (right after you scored some 15000 by sinking the entire enemy fleet).

The "strategic layer" in this game is a joke of a cardboard imitation, unfortunately.

 

[Norfleet]

Well, that's at least a low resolution simulation of an ally, anyway. Do allied units participate in your battles? Given how unhelpful they seem to be, do you even need them? Admittedly, adding a full-on strategic simulation would likely get the AI even more fatally thrashed.

 

[Dayyālu]

Well, that's at least a low resolution simulation of an ally, anyway. Do allied units participate in your battles? Given how unhelpful they seem to be, do you even need them? Admittedly, adding a full-on strategic simulation would likely get the AI even more fatally thrashed.

Have you even read the LP? We had several cases of allied ships showing up and getting sank for our benefit.

All your questions have been already been answered by the updates. This is peculiar.

 

[mondblut]

Do allied units participate in your battles? Given how unhelpful they seem to be, do you even need them?

Sometimes. When you ally with britbongs early in the game, their fuckhueg fleet can provide significant boost to your firepower when fighting in nothern europe.

 

[Norfleet]

Have you even read the LP? We had several cases of allied ships showing up and getting sank for our benefit.

Yes, but I'm very old, and that was like, ages and pages ago, so I subsequently forgot ever seeing it. So at least you get some cannon fodder...good enough, I guess?

 

[Andnjord]

So yeah, about them updates....

Life got busy, Disco Elysium got released, an apricot scented one left then came back and to be fair nothing much happened during my turn time, all colliding together to create a vortex of lack of inspiration and motivation. BUT I will get that update out SOON(tm) now, I promise.

Yes, but I'm very old, and that was like, ages and pages ago, so I subsequently forgot ever seeing it. So at least you get some cannon fodder...good enough, I guess?

I find your lack of memory disturbing...

 

[Galdred]

I hope this goes to some CV vs CV action.
Does the game represent early air naval operations convincingly?

 

[Chaosdwarft]

So is this thread on strike?

 

[Storyfag]

As befits the Francophone Clique

 

[ValeVelKal]

Meh, with all the update RTW2 had since we started the AAR, I feel like we should end it here and start a new one.

It was really cool.