I'm depressed as fuck with endless fail decks :/ I bought cards and had about a dozen rare and mythic wildcards to buy anything I wanted, but every deck I tried has been no better at winning than what I had to begin with
All of the decks can hold their own in Platinum 4, but in Plat 3 they start struggling and end up back in Plat 4 again. I use this rank as my judge for how well they will do in Standard Event, I don't play that anymore because it isn't worth playing if you don't win 5+ matches most of the time. The decks I've got are:
Ilharg, Raze Boar deck
This was a huge letdown. I blew a lot of rares and mythics on this and it only wins about 50% at best. It has Arboreal Grazer and Circuitous Route to help ramp lands. It has 3 Zhur-Taa Goblin (the riot creature) and 2 Gruul Spellbreaker (also riot) which get a few hits in early and then serve as blockers. And then the finisher is to get the Raze Boar out and when it attacks, it brings out either Agent of Treachery to steal something, Ravager Worm to kill a creature, or God Eternal Rhonas to pump everything and hit their face hard. The problem is the deck is just one big sitting duck. It goes about 5 turns without having any of the big creatures. 5 turns doesn't sound long but it is when you are being rekt in the face by a Cavalcade deck or vampires with embercleave or whatever. And the blockers don't last long if the enemy has deathtouch creatures. I have 4 Flame Sweep but it isn't enough, especially against vamps that can easily get to 3 toughness. I won some, 1 cavalcade deck couldn't attack while I had the blockers out and then I got my boar and rekt his face. One was another RG deck that matched my creatures at the start like a stalemate, but then I got the boar and it attacked and pulled out Agent, stole his only big creature. When the deck works it is great, but it just is far too easy to break. 1 big creature per turn is like a sitting duck for control/counterspell decks. Rhythm of the Wild stops your creatures getting countered but if they counter the Rhythm then you are
Dimir Lochmere Serpent deck
4 Thought Erasure to slow them down, and you discard your own serpent. Then use the 2 mana ability of the serpent to exile 5 cards from their gy and then you can play it as a flash creature once you get some more lands. It is not good against cat type decks because you can only use the exile their GY on your turn. It also mills them with Merfolk Secretkeeper which doubles as a blocker, has some removal (murderous riders, 3 Cry of carnarium, legions end, soot) and 9 counterspells, and a jace. But it just doesn't work well. Again, against some decks it is really strong, cavalcade is fucked by it because legions end / carnarium just wipes out their entire board easily and Drown in the Loch or whatever counter is good to stop their Chandra/Cavalcade. But other aggro decks just walk all over me and I can't counter them fast enough. And control decks have free roam because I don't really have much on the board. I have counters and some removal, but if they play a lot of PWs like a fires deck, then I quickly run out of cards and end up losing the board. Disappointing. Wins maybe 55% at best.
My Dream Deck 1
This is WBU, it is awesome to play, I love it. 4 Kaya's Wrath and 2 Time Wipe means aggro decks really struggle to get you. 4 Prison Realm and 1 Murderous Rider to remove PWs, 4 Thought Erasure to help slow them down. 2 Agent of Treachery to steal their big shit later on. Then you bounce the Agent with Teferi or Time Wipe and steal other stuff. And if you lose the agents, it has 2 Clear the Mind to keep bringing it (and everything) back. I also have 1 Kenrith which can bring the agent back into play, and is awesome at life gain too, and helps draw. And 1 Fae of Wishes to bring an answer to anything from the sideboard. I love the deck but just isn't that good at winning. It can get to Plat 3 quite easily but it is such a defensive deck, it waits to answer whatever they do which can easily put you on the back foot. There are 6 board wipes for aggro decks but they all need 4/5 mana, so a fast one with Torbran/Embercleave/Cavalcade can beat me in 3 turns, or 4 if I don't draw a wipe. So that means I'm losing like 30% of the time from those guys. And then other control decks can be stronger because I have no counters, only removal which runs out fast, few agents helps but a Fires deck that plays a PW every turn is too much to handle. Wins about 55% until Plat 3 then it ends up about 45%
My Dream Deck 2
This is maybe the strongest deck I've got. 3 Gilded Goose to defend against aggro decks, works well, good life gain. Cry of Carnarium and Massacre Girl help kill any weenie aggroers. Deathsprout, Murderous Rider, and Assassin's Trophy against bigger creatures/PWs. Then once you get to 6 mana it has 3 Casualties of War which totally fucks some people. When you kill their only creature, planeswalker, arti/enchant, and fancy land, all with one spell, they usually just concede. And if not you still have a big upper hand. It has 2 Krasis to help draw and get some life and a few other strong cards. And again 1 Fae of Wishes to draw answers in the late game. But it has the same problem as the previous deck. It has nothing to attack with. It just defends, kills whatever they play, and then hopes to win late game by playing a PW once they are all spent, or Mass Manipulation or something. But this only works half the time. The other half the time they just keep on playing things and eventually I run out of answers. It can easily win if I get an ok draw, it has a Liliana and Lochmere Serpent and some stuff that can finish them once you wipe out all their stuff, but if they have removal too then it just ends up going 20 turns with nothing in play until someone finally gets a foot hold. Fun as hell to play but again it drops to 50% wins on about Plat 3.
Stuff I still want to try but I am getting low on wildcards now:
Weenies + Embercleave
Only saw this for the first time a few days ago and it seems promising. Fills the board with weenie white creatures and red/white, Raise the Alarm etc, and Aurelia which can pump one of them. Then they attack and embercleave pops out on one of them. It maybe only hits for 6 but the other creatures hit another 5 ish and that's good. And if you kill their creature, they just move the embercleave to another one. It also has instants to give creatures indestructible or protection from your color so they can survive. Seems weak against board wipes but I seem to be the only person who runs 4+ board wipes. So maybe it would win a lot.
Strongest Deck in Standard (imo)
I guess it is anyway. It is basically an alternative to Fires but it is much more explosive. Uses 4 Smothering Tithe, it means you either have hardly any mana on your turn, or you let him create these tokens that give him a lot of mana early. Then he uses Emergency Powers, ends up with 7 extra mana in addition to all his other mana. Plays Bolas, Teferi, Narset, etc. Uses Elderspell on his own PWs to pump the bolas and wins same turn. He basically has infinite mana so can do all this really fast and on the same turn. It has a God-Pharoah Statue to make you even more mana screwed. He ends up with so much mana and cards in hand that he can use Fae of Wishes, play the card he wished for, and then bounce the fae back to his hand, all on the same turn. Also if he has Narset out, then Emergency Powers empties your entire hand, and he ends up with 7 new cards and 7 extra mana on top of all what he already had. I think it is stronger than Fires decks, because it looks exactly the same but isn't limited to 2 spells a turn. He can do 4 or 5 big spells a turn. He also used Chance for Glory which gives him 2 turns or lose the game, but that was enough for him to play several cards while I was still tapped for mana. You guys have gotta see this deck, it is crazy. I'm wary of making it because I don't know how reliable it is.
Fires deck without the fires
I think I saw a guy play this but I thought about it myself too. Deck with 4 Bedevil, 4 Angrath's Rampage, and some Carnarium/Soot so you kill anything they play. Then you play Bolas and have back up bolas's from Fae if you need. Black and Red is so good at killing anything that gets played. Blue helps you keep drawing cards and maybe a few counters to protect the bolas once he is out. Some Agents to steal anything big late game. Fae of wishes for answers. Maybe some Kaya's Ghostform to protect Bolas. It sounds super strong to me, but maybe Fires would be better.