Make elfs manly again

[Cael]

It's the lack of beards. There's no good reason to portray elves without beards. I blame lotr movies.
Look at TES or Serpent in the Staglands. The elves are good. They have beards.

Elves lacking beards was in DnD long before the LotR movies. You named yourself well

 

[Shadenuat]

It's the lack of beards. There's no good reason to portray elves without beards. I blame lotr movies.
Look at TES or Serpent in the Staglands. The elves are good. They have beards.

 

[Cael]

It's the lack of beards. There's no good reason to portray elves without beards. I blame lotr movies.
Look at TES or Serpent in the Staglands. The elves are good. They have beards.

Batman never looked so ugly...

 

[catfood]

 

[Turjan]

IIRC, weren’t wood/forest elves pretty ruthless to outsiders? Like they were just plain mean.

Maybe I’m thinking about Warhammer Fantasy Battles though.

That's mostly in "The Hobbit" though. Those wood elves were more like the elves from Irish fairy tales: mean, dangerous and generally unpleasant. It's in LotR where Tolkien's tone changes.

 

[Roguey]

That Pathfinder? Then why Sseth use it as a thumbnail for:

You'd have to ask him.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/lelf

The original illustration (shown below) can be found in a supplementary manual book for Pathfinder, a top-selling tabletop role-playing game released by the Paizo Publishing, titled "Ultimate Campaign" and published as hardcover in May 2013.

 

[Serus]

For the record, I present You the elves from "The Hobbit" (1977) animated movie:

If you haven't seen it, do it. It's a great adaptation of The Hobbit, you just need to forget about LOTR or any preconception and think of the source material as if it was fully self-contained.

 

[vota DC]

tolkien elves were not effeminate, they were noble and refined. that just seem effeminate to barbaric brainlets

A single tolkien elf is just a tall human that doesn't age. We have barbarian axe elves in fist age and even a bearded elf in lotr.
As a group it depends on the enviroment. For example Valinor elves are faggots "omg ar whatever is invading Valinor, please Eru sunk Numenor because even with the help of an entire army of Maiar and some Valar we are too gay to fight a tiny island full of half real men and half manly elves".

 

[Hassar]

Most RPGs that have elfs are basically sissy versions of humans.

Reasons to support my point

• Really long life means less reasons to have kids. This mean they don't try to have sex or copulate. They are sexual virgins compared to Chad humans that wanna fuck all day errday.
• Effeminate features: long hair and skinny af. These guys looks like walking pencils. They would be recorded on snapchat to be made fun of at the gym for how pathetic their muscles look. Human women have more testosterone.
• Elf language: most of elf language is the girliest shit I have ever heard. Like I'm the type that gets embarrassed to order at Starbucks for how girly their shit sounds but ELF LANGAUGE? Ain't gonna speak that

Now elfs didnt use to be this way. Tolkien elves although effeminate were actually strong af. WoW night elves look like Chads that would steal your gf. Who is to blame mostly?

Bioware

tolkien elves were not effeminate, they were noble and refined. that just seem effeminate to barbaric brainlets

Yeah, Tolkien used to be mad when he heard people think that Legolas was slender and not strong:

“
He was tall as a young tree, lithe, immensely strong, able swiftly to draw a great war-bow and shoot down a Nazgul, endowed with the tremendous vitality of Elvish bodies, so hard and resistant to hurt that he went only in light shoes over rock or through snow, the most tireless of all the Fellowship
The Book of Lost Tales, II, The History of Eriol or Aelfwine, Ballantine Books, 1992, p.333“

And Beleg Strongbow was a beast. It was really D&D and perhaps Irish mythological descriptions of elves and fairies that made them slender and graceful. Nordic elves were somewhat different.

 

[Seethe]

We simply need Warhammer RPGs.

Truth

 

[IncendiaryDevice]

Some images of Elves from Fighting Fantasy (early 80s):

1st two are Dark Elves & third one is a Blackheart (Elf/Ork hybrid). Elves in FF weren't just Elves, they had to have a descriptor before the word Elf, such as Black, Dark, Wood, Mountain, etc.

Their generic picture for Elves on that page was:

But it doesn't say which type these are. [I had to take a photo & upload this last one as I couldn't find it on-line, hence the weird page & blurring distortions]

 

[DJOGamer PT]

tolkien elves were not effeminate, they were noble and refined. that just seem effeminate to barbaric brainlets

A single tolkien elf is just a tall human that doesn't age.

Elves in Tolkien's legendarium are like the elves of Celtic mythology, in the sense that they are better than humans in pretty much anything (more beautiful, more intelligent, more skillful, more noble and possessing stronger will and physical abilities).

 

[vota DC]

tolkien elves were not effeminate, they were noble and refined. that just seem effeminate to barbaric brainlets

A single tolkien elf is just a tall human that doesn't age.

Elves in Tolkien's legendarium are like the elves of Celtic mythology, in the sense that they are better than humans in pretty much anything (more beautiful, more intelligent, more skillful, more noble and possessing stronger will and physical abilities).

Yep, taller means bigger so stronger. The structure is the same, it just change the scale and the spirit connection. Long life means better skill, the sight is better from the birth.
Dwarves have different structure. More than orcs. Orcs have a twisted human/elf structure dwarves instead are famous for their resilience, there is a quote about orcs train to be resilient as dwarves. It means dwarves have something similar of chimps that are smaller than humans but have more dense muscles. They aren't human at all while elves, hobbits and men have stronget ties.
No idea where uruk-hai get their ability to march tireless outmarching even the fellowship.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

No idea where uruk-hai get their ability to march tireless outmarching even the fellowship.

Quality whips, courtesy of Sharku industries.

 

[Cael]

tolkien elves were not effeminate, they were noble and refined. that just seem effeminate to barbaric brainlets

A single tolkien elf is just a tall human that doesn't age.

Elves in Tolkien's legendarium are like the elves of Celtic mythology, in the sense that they are better than humans in pretty much anything (more beautiful, more intelligent, more skillful, more noble and possessing stronger will and physical abilities).

Yep, taller means bigger so stronger. The structure is the same, it just change the scale and the spirit connection. Long life means better skill, the sight is better from the birth.
Dwarves have different structure. More than orcs. Orcs have a twisted human/elf structure dwarves instead are famous for their resilience, there is a quote about orcs train to be resilient as dwarves. It means dwarves have something similar of chimps that are smaller than humans but have more dense muscles. They aren't human at all while elves, hobbits and men have stronget ties.
No idea where uruk-hai get their ability to march tireless outmarching even the fellowship.

Urak-Hai are selectively bred for extra buffness, IIRC.

Can't remember if there are added human genetics in there.

 

[rohand]

http://midkemia.wikia.com/wiki/Moredhel

 

[Shin]

this elf would pound the shit outta human butt
so
no need to be so racist plz

 

[rusty_shackleford]

this thread is very racist

 

[unfairlight]

We must secure the existence of our people and a future for Elven children.

 

[Sykar]

i want big elf titty to smother my face with

There, you are welcome.

 

[abnaxus]

Fëanor dindu nuffin.

 

[TheEntitledOne]

Pathfinder figured this out.

I'm the only one seeing the hidden knife stabbing the elf?

 

[Sykar]

It's the lack of beards. There's no good reason to portray elves without beards. I blame lotr movies.
Look at TES or Serpent in the Staglands. The elves are good. They have beards.

Batman never looked so ugly...

You have seen nothing yet:

 

[Pika-Cthulhu]

Elves are pretty manly, look at what Morgoth turned them into, the manliest brand of elf, Orc!

 

[Morkar Left]

No idea where uruk-hai get their ability to march tireless outmarching even the fellowship.

Quality whips, courtesy of Sharku industries.