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Make elfs manly again

Discussion in 'General RPG Discussion' started by Lukrame, Oct 10, 2018.

  1. Lukrame Savant

    Lukrame
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    Most RPGs that have elfs are basically sissy versions of humans.

    Reasons to support my point
    • Really long life means less reasons to have kids. This mean they don't try to have sex or copulate. They are sexual virgins compared to Chad humans that wanna fuck all day errday.
    • Effeminate features: long hair and skinny af. These guys looks like walking pencils. They would be recorded on snapchat to be made fun of at the gym for how pathetic their muscles look. Human women have more testosterone.
    • Elf language: most of elf language is the girliest shit I have ever heard. Like I'm the type that gets embarrassed to order at Starbucks for how girly their shit sounds but ELF LANGAUGE? Ain't gonna speak that

    Now elfs didnt use to be this way. Tolkien elves although effeminate were actually strong af. WoW night elves look like Chads that would steal your gf. Who is to blame mostly?

    Bioware
     
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  2. unfairlight Self-Ejected

    Self-Ejected
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    Elves are basically Japanese.
     
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  3. Shadenuat Arcane

    Shadenuat
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    Warhammer elfs are pretty ubermensch
     
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  4. Mustawd Arcane

    Mustawd
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  5. Delterius Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Delterius
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    sounds like OP is an incel/fag but doesn't want to admit it tbh
     
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  6. Mastermind Arcane Patron Bethestard

    Mastermind
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    tolkien elves were not effeminate, they were noble and refined. that just seem effeminate to barbaric brainlets
     
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  7. Generic-Giant-Spider Arcane

    Generic-Giant-Spider
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    Drizzt ruined Drows.
     
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  8. Roguey Codex Staff Sawyerite

    Roguey
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    Pathfinder figured this out.
    [​IMG]
     
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  9. deama Liturgist

    deama
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    I agree with your first point, but I think your second point is wrong; I donno what to think about your last point...
    I think that elves should be more muscular, very lean muscular, like 10% bodyfat average but having lots of muscle because of the years of experience and "training" they had from living for so long.
     
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  10. someone else Arcane Patron

    someone else
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    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Yeah, make them like Legolas or Thraduil.
     
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  11. FreeKaner Prophet of the Dumpsterfire

    FreeKaner
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    We simply need Warhammer RPGs.
     
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  12. Roguey Codex Staff Sawyerite

    Roguey
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    Tolkien elves could be meaner.
    [​IMG]
     
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  13. Tigranes Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Tigranes
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    Peter Jackson's Thranduil was the very definition of a tryhard metrosexual emo on a drug high. At least Legolas stabs people in the face every two frames.
     
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  14. Excommunicator Arcane

    Excommunicator
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    I agree

    [​IMG]
     
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  15. Lukrame Savant

    Lukrame
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    That looks so fucking badass much better than the pathetic sissy dragon age elves.
     
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  16. Yosharian Magister

    Yosharian
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    [​IMG]
     
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  17. RNGsus fed up taxi driver Patron

    RNGsus
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    Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Make Elves Dead Again
     
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  18. Mustawd Arcane

    Mustawd
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    IIRC, weren’t wood/forest elves pretty ruthless to outsiders? Like they were just plain mean.

    Maybe I’m thinking about Warhammer Fantasy Battles though.
     
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  19. Neanderthal Arcane

    Neanderthal
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    Do not compare Elves to men, for they are not men, they are not even of the same species.
    Do not hold them to be effeminate, the worst woman is immeasurably superior to the greatest Elf.
    The Elf is the other, the stranger, the outsider, a rival that must be eradicated.
    For make no mistake they would see us extinct or but slaves upon our own world.
    And those who would court the Elf are deluded children who think to play with danger, who think they are superior to mankind, and who disdain their own species.
    They are nought but tools, to be used and then cast away by the uncaring hand of the inhuman.
    Make the Elf suffer, make him run, and finally burn his foul taint from the earth so that humanity may embrace its true destiny.
    A destiny forged by our own strong, fair hands, free of the Elfs lies and manipulation.
     
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  20. ERYFKRAD Barbarian Patron

    ERYFKRAD
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    Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
    Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
    Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
    Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
    Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
    Elves are terrific. They beget terror.

    Suffer not the elf to live while you still draw breath.
     
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  21. Higher Game Arcane

    Higher Game
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    Elves with their inherently effeminate sounding language sound suspiciously like the Portuguese. You can figure out who the orcs are. Discuss, huehue!
     
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  22. Hobo Elf Arcane

    Hobo Elf
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    Did people forget the Thalmor in Skyrim were basically just Elven gestapo?
     
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  23. ERYFKRAD Barbarian Patron

    ERYFKRAD
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    Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Gay elven Gestapo.
     
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  24. RK47 collides like two planets pulled by gravity Patron

    RK47
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    Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
    Elves are the best slaves.
     
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  25. Telengard Arcane

    Telengard
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    Elves are drawn to be prissy on purpose, in order to excite certain feelings in the viewer. And for that same reason, drow are always drawn with whips, chains, leather, and cat-o-nine-tails. -- It's all sex.

    You know how they say sex sells? It does. But that "sex sells" thing, it's not all T&A on the beach. Sexual imagery can be more subtle. The way an elf sits, the arm placement, what they're holding, these things can all provide subtle cues that evoke sexual feelings in the viewer. Which is done for two reasons. 1) Such effeminate imagery evokes both the familiar and the alien at the same time. It's something not so unknown that people don't recognize it, but it's also strange and "other". So, with a few subtle cues, you provide an image of an alien race that feels different, yet at the same time familiar. 2) If a large portion of your audience are effeminate boys (and with fantasy, it is), that prissy image of an elf causes them to have a funny feeling in their pants, which feeling they want more of, and they are willing to plunk down their allowance to get it.

    Now, your dweeby tween probably doesn't know that the image of the drow homeland -- underground, authoritarian, cruel, filled with spider imagery and tawdry gilt, leather harnesses, whips, chains, and male slaves -- is all just an image of a BDSM lair. But we're all adults here, so we can recognize it for what it is. And for the purposes of marketing, that dweeby tween doesn't need to know that it's a BDSM lair, anyway; they just need to know that they likes what they sees. You know, likes it in their pants.
     
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