The brutish figure charged into the cavern, jagged blade in hand, grunting angrily in the gloomy light as it searched for its prey. Josh squeezed down behind the boulder, struggling to keep his massive shoulders concealed. The chase had gone on for too long and there was nowhere left to run. It was time to make a stand.
He began the ritual, whispering the ancient incantation as tiny flames danced along his heavily muscled arms. He felt the power gathering, charging the air around him as he battled to maintain control. At the last moment he leaped up with a cry and unleashed the torrent of energy on the doomed orc. The result was not what he intended. The flames sputtered out and he flung a blob of strange purple goo instead of the ball of fire he was expecting. He cursed in frustration at yet another failure, pulled out his great sword and charged at the orc still struggling to free itself from the sticky mess.
~~~
He was standing over the dismembered corpse of his foe when an annoying peal of laughter interrupted his reverie. With a weary sigh he turned to face the red-headed sidekick who had tormented his every step since the day they first met in the Dungeon of Lesifoere.
"Josh, babe, you've really got to work a bit harder on your studies. I know you prefer working out but let's be honest, as a wizard you're a bit of a circus act at the moment. One of these days you'll turn me into a beetle or a pretty princess!"
"Sounds good to me," he growled, glaring at the androgynous figure. "Some help you are in battle, I should leave you right here and spare myself the trouble."
"Now, now," Roguey cooed. "You know you love having me around. And who else would record your words of wisdom and use her rogue abilities to sniff out dangerous traps?"
"Like the spike trap that impaled the rest of the party? Yeah right. Sometimes I wonder what the point of a rogue is these days."
"Not my fault," Roguey sniffed. "I told them I had a bad feeling and they just made sexist jokes about the time of the month. It's the burden I bear as a Cassandra. Now let's make camp so I can see to those scratches and brush your hair."
~~~
The next two days passed in a haze of skirmishes and snatched rest, but the long-sought Phylactery of Gaider remained as elusive as ever. They had entered an area infested with kobolds who, although not particularly fearsome as opponents, delighted in ambushes and sniping with concealed archers.
"Damn it!" shouted Josh as he finished off yet another kobold. "I'm sick of killing these things. They're not even good for combat practice or experience, it's like fighting the same battle over and over again!"
Roguey gave a languid stretch as he got up from the corner, putting down the manuscript he had been working on.
"More wise words your Joshliness, I shall inscribe them for posterity."
Josh merely glared, unsure as ever whether Roguey was being serious or not.
"Show's over," he muttered, pointing down the next passage. "Let's get a move on."
The passage changed in character as they progressed, from rough-hewn natural rock to smooth finished stone. A deathly silence descended, broken only by the sputter of an occasional torch. Josh began to feel uneasy, sensing a pervasive evil presence in the very air and walls around them. It wasn't often he felt nervous, he hadn't been genuinely afraid for his life since he infiltrated Mount Troika years before, but something was very, very wrong about this place. Even Roguey had put his quill and scrolls away and stopped talking about the lack of women in most adventuring parties.
They emerged from the passage into a hall of polished marble, surrounded by a cluster of statues. The lithe figures of warriors, heavily muscled wizards, bearded dwarves and strange lizard men - all were rendered in great detail in grey stone, every one a masterpiece.
They picked their way through the statues, heading for the far side of the immense hall where a strange pink glow illuminated the walls. But a mere 10 steps in Josh sensed movement behind and spun around, readying his weapon. It was a statue of a spearman, beginning to advance upon them!
"They're not statues!" yelled Josh, moving protectively towards Roguey. "They were just petrified and it's wearing off!"
All the figures were now coming to life and a lizardman's club bounced off Roguey's chainmail bikini. Battle was joined.
Next time: The Lair of the Tavitron!