Pffft, out with the oldschool fags.
Time for the new
and improved Jagged Alliance!
Here we have the aftermath of a shootout. Bull is up front with a Benelli shotgun and a hot pair of sunglasses. Buns follows his ass with a M4 and a backup Israeli Uzi incase she feels the need to do zero damage, but look cool doing it. MD is covering rear and squeezing a medkit between his asscheeks. There are certainly people in this shack ahead, but there only scattered windows, most of them broken slits in the wood.
Surprise! Bull winds up on the wrong end of a lead mining operation and eats a full load of shotgun pelllets to the face. He quickly pivots and blows a round back through the shooter's window and pangs some lead off the man's skull for a whopping -1 damage. The man returns fire and Bull's flak jacket starts to look like a bouquet of dead flowers. MD, hearing the shots, runs up with a medkit already slung over his shoulder. Buns rotates past Bull and searches for the gap in the side of the wall, flanking the enemy. Bull eats another round and starts to dream of Elysium while MD fervently attends to his exposed sinews. The shooter disappears in the fog of war and Buns rolls a 'nade into the room...
The grenade clinks off the side of the wall and ricochets to no one's knowing. Someone screams and the 'nade claps as it explodes. A man runs to the corner of the room with shrapnel in his arms and Buns eyes him, her finger switching her rifle to burst-fire. The man seizes up in her sights and his training has him level his gun at her but the rounds light him up before he can pull the trigger He somersaults backwards as if Buns was firing Russian Gold Medals and the man sticks his landing in the corner of the room. Another assailant appears near the far off wall and Buns retreats. MD patches Bull up and then swings around to help Buns. With more nades they flush the last man out and he charges Buns for God knows what reason. Buns shoots the man in the chest with a burst of fucking die asshole but he falls on her anyway and they tango in the desert sands like two one-armed scorpions. MD eventually comes from behind carrying a giant boot and stomps the man to death.
Everyone reloads at the same time to make a badass "chik-chuk-chook, chika-chik" sound even though it doesn't make a lot of sense because Bull is using a shotgun. In the distance, there are a ring of blown-out trucks, shimmering in the desert heat like a rusted oasis. Buns and MD agree to go check it out while Bull leans against a flattened tire with a cigarette bobbing in his mouth, tendrils of smoke wisping out of his gnarly wounds. Meanwhile, Buns jets toward the trucks like an idiot while disregarding MD's shouting, clapping, and at one point, firing his weapon into the air. Buns runs straight ahead and...
The mine explodes and shaves Buns down to a size ten and her flaming high heels go spiraling into the air like mangled bats out of hell. She sails against the hood of a truck, denting it, and then hits the ground and rolls forward as a cloud of dust settles. MD rushes up and slings the medkit out of his asscheeks and kneels to take care of her. "Your fucking legs!" he screams. "My fucking legs!" she screams. Buns moans and clutches the ground while MD patches her up. He stands once he's finished and checks out what all this protection could be for.
Holy mother of god. Ten tonnes of explosives that our heroes know not how to use, but could easily fuck random shit up with anyway. MD takes what he cans, but does not give up the space in his inventory occupied by his exotic porno-mag. The group rallies up and spreads the grenade launchers and bazookas around like disease in a Mother Theresa home and they wander off into the desert high on peyote and kill many, many coyotes and lizards and shit.