From Software The Dark Souls II Megathread™

[cretin]

I almost beat my wife over maldron today. Now there is an NPC that absolutely fucking cheats. Just complete horseshit.

 

[Strange Fellow]

One of the best encounters in the entire series.

 

[cretin]

This is disgusting. I feel ashamed. I finally beat that faggot, I backstabbed him and then when he was running away like a bitch I jumped down to the platform and leapt across to the stairs, and caught him running past with a ferocious series of blows to finish. Some sort of noise escaped my mouth, half way between a girlish scream and the laugh of a madman.

Felt like I had just been caught watching tranny porn or something. Fuck this game!

 

[Silverfish]

Felt like I had just been caught watching tranny porn or something. Fuck this game!

So far as I'm aware (I'm not a Vaati-level lore nerd), Gwyndolin isn't in DS2, so you're good.

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

First DS2 playthrough in five years, first time through Scholar version.

Get invaded by some geek using what looked like a Dagger and Monastery Scimitar when I'm innocently farming Heide Knights. Haven't PVP'd in DS2 in literal years, not even using a PVP build, was just trying to get some Heide gear because I like the way it looks. So this goon comes up dressed like a medieval thot, does that whole gay honor souls thing of wave/bow but I'm having none of it. Go right up and start cleaving with the caveman club. After 2 failed parries he gets the message that this isn't his regular Drangleic Shield using n00b. Tries to go all in with a forward roll, gets swag backstepped and squashed on his desperation backwards roll by leaping attack. Sorry kid, made it to Rank 2 Brotherhood of Blood off geeks like you back in 2014. Go practice that parry on Silver Knights or sumfin in Anor Londo, hahahaha. Oh this isn't DS1? Damn, tough break.

lights cigarette

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

So here's how I rank the covenants in DS2.

Lmao
Way of the Blue - Everyone joins this shit for the 3% health ring and should abandon it asap so girls don't see you're some meek lil pussy.
Heirs of the Sun - Gay ass co-op covenant only worthwhile for the sword you get and that lightning spear that does too much damage. Every "sunbro" is played by cringelords. Solaire is a repressed homo.

Basic Bitchezzz
Pilgrims of the Dark - Another lame PvE covenant but at least this one has some exclusivity club membership and you get an extra boss fight outta the deal. More bang for ya buck. I like the ring if I did a spellcaster build focused on dark magickz.
Dragon Remnants - Honor dueling is intensely lame and that's the way it is. I also think this is the most lame PVP faction since you can get the rewards in like an hour or two if you're decent or use a katana. Rewards suck too, despite the dragon armor being a major step up from whatever that furry shit was in DS1.

Respectable, but not getting my respect
Brotherhood of Blood - I know I mentioned hitting Rank 2 in my previous post many years ago. At that time, yung GGS would have listed this among the best if not the best covenant. The more I think about it, the more I realized this was just a gay honor duel covenant with optional fun and games by Cracked Red Eye Orb farming. It's above Dragon Remnants because it does take actual masculinity to achieve the rank-ups. If you get the final rank you have mental problems.
Company of Heroes/Champions/Idk I just use this to farm shit lmao - Whatever it's all right, the fist ring is a cool gimmick.

Approaching startling levels of based
Blue Sentinels - Long ago I was some loser that hated "the good guys" and embraced the edgy trappings of the black phantom. Well I'm older, I'm significantly more prone to losing my shit figuratively and literally, and I gotta tell you... Blue Sentinels are alpha males. Brotherhood of Blood has a grueling ranking process, but you can do it infinite number of times. Blue Sentinels stay in that duel arena and get those Blue Eye Orbs because they DESERVE it. The fact you can potentially never go back into that arena because you sucked so much dick is great. I also like that they can forcibly interject any invaded players and pop in like, "ANYONE HAVING UNAUTHORIZED FUN IN HERE?" I've never ranked up in this and I'm not that much of a loser to try it but seeing a glowy blue spirit tells you of someone about to bring justice down upon your wretched ass.

Playing Dark Souls as God intended
Bell Keepers - I used to think this was some bitch made faction for cheap shotting punks that just want to gang up. Used to sit in that Belfry Luna all day and night waiting to kill these cocksuckas but you know what? Bell Keepers are just playing Dark Souls as it should be. The entire aim of this faction is to be an asshole and that is something I'm down with. It wasn't until I joined and played around that I understood how addictive it was to make people hate you. And I mean really hate you. If I could find my old phone I'd show the pictures I took of PS3 hatemail where one guy went into exquisite detail how he'd love to see me get murdered. All this because I deemed him unworthy of the Bell. This covenant is badass and best of all you don't even have to interact with them. Your own curiosity, greed and pride brought you to this, nigga.

Chadlord Covenant, don't wanna hear anything else
Rat King - Hands down the best covenant in the game. When I was new I had no idea what the fuck this covenant even did, I think I actually killed the Rat King by accident because it was a rat that is almost undistinguishable from other rats. Then I corrected my mistake and stopped being a racist and gave it a whirl. This is no joke the most fun you can have in DS2. This covenant is like the Bell Keepers, but you're also playing Tecmo's Deception. Unleash a bunch of traps and cut off convenient pathways all in the name of being a colossal asshole. There's also something even better that trumps the Bell Keepers: you bring the player into your world and all the would-be enemies are friendly to you as long as you're apart of the Rat Gang. That means Bonfire Ascetic that shit up and watch the magic happen. I recommend busting out the good ol dual-Avelyns if you're doing Doors of Pharros and chewing on a cigar like a 1930s mobster holding their tommygun. Greatest covenant in all of Dark Souls games.

 

[Zlaja]

Respectable, but not getting my respect

The fuck is this? It's like saying "this shit is for pussies, so only for real men".

 

[fork]

Respectable, but not getting my respect

The fuck is this? It's like saying "this shit is for pussies, so only for real men".

No, man. It's like saying "all the pussies out there may respect it, but I—Chad spider—do not."
At least I read it like that.

 

[Multidirectional]

Bell Keepers were always my favorite. Lots of good PvP action while also getting my loads of Chunks and occasionally even rarest materials.

 

[SumDrunkGuy]

Bell Keepers were always my favorite. Lots of good PvP action while also getting my loads of Chunks and occasionally even rarest materials.

I wrecked countless fags in that place. I sort of became a legend there. People still fear my and Princess Alyssa's return.



I was a beast in those days.

 

[SumDrunkGuy]

This was my proudest DkS2 moment while i was binging on adderall:



That shit was so fun. Also somebody tell Diablo1_reborn to not get depressed everytime i call codexers fat homosexuals. Everybody knows I'm joking.

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

Look at that loser Havelfag coming in full bodied, spear, Gower's ring on, invading Bastille probably to catch some niggaz trying to infuse their shit. Deplorable creatures that deserve all the BMing possible. My first encounter was when Havelyns were the big kids on the block and I ate about 50 bolts to the face within 2 seconds. From that moment forward I vowed to disrespect every Havel player. I wish there was a "spit on your corpse" gesture but I'll make due with lobbing corrosive urns to try and break their shit.

 

[d1r]

This was my proudest DkS2 moment while i was binging on adderall:



That shit was so fun. Also somebody tell Diablo1_reborn to not get depressed everytime i call codexers fat homosexuals. Everybody knows I'm joking.

I can hear you just fine.

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

Go to 2:20:00 to watch Ruin Sentinels crushing someone's spirit to the point of having anxiety symptoms and self-analysis of failure. Some people just aren't cut out for GAMING, baby!

 

[kites]

Some people just aren't cut out for GAMING, baby!

a brick is cracking, a window's breaking.. "that was a mistake"
i'd be dishonest if i said i didn't have similar feelings during my first few fights with them (inconsistent and trash player)

 

[Caim]

So here's how I rank the covenants in DS2.

Lmao
Way of the Blue - Everyone joins this shit for the 3% health ring and should abandon it asap so girls don't see you're some meek lil pussy.
Heirs of the Sun - Gay ass co-op covenant only worthwhile for the sword you get and that lightning spear that does too much damage. Every "sunbro" is played by cringelords. Solaire is a repressed homo.

Basic Bitchezzz
Pilgrims of the Dark - Another lame PvE covenant but at least this one has some exclusivity club membership and you get an extra boss fight outta the deal. More bang for ya buck. I like the ring if I did a spellcaster build focused on dark magickz.
Dragon Remnants - Honor dueling is intensely lame and that's the way it is. I also think this is the most lame PVP faction since you can get the rewards in like an hour or two if you're decent or use a katana. Rewards suck too, despite the dragon armor being a major step up from whatever that furry shit was in DS1.

Respectable, but not getting my respect
Brotherhood of Blood - I know I mentioned hitting Rank 2 in my previous post many years ago. At that time, yung GGS would have listed this among the best if not the best covenant. The more I think about it, the more I realized this was just a gay honor duel covenant with optional fun and games by Cracked Red Eye Orb farming. It's above Dragon Remnants because it does take actual masculinity to achieve the rank-ups. If you get the final rank you have mental problems.
Company of Heroes/Champions/Idk I just use this to farm shit lmao - Whatever it's all right, the fist ring is a cool gimmick.

Approaching startling levels of based
Blue Sentinels - Long ago I was some loser that hated "the good guys" and embraced the edgy trappings of the black phantom. Well I'm older, I'm significantly more prone to losing my shit figuratively and literally, and I gotta tell you... Blue Sentinels are alpha males. Brotherhood of Blood has a grueling ranking process, but you can do it infinite number of times. Blue Sentinels stay in that duel arena and get those Blue Eye Orbs because they DESERVE it. The fact you can potentially never go back into that arena because you sucked so much dick is great. I also like that they can forcibly interject any invaded players and pop in like, "ANYONE HAVING UNAUTHORIZED FUN IN HERE?" I've never ranked up in this and I'm not that much of a loser to try it but seeing a glowy blue spirit tells you of someone about to bring justice down upon your wretched ass.

Playing Dark Souls as God intended
Bell Keepers - I used to think this was some bitch made faction for cheap shotting punks that just want to gang up. Used to sit in that Belfry Luna all day and night waiting to kill these cocksuckas but you know what? Bell Keepers are just playing Dark Souls as it should be. The entire aim of this faction is to be an asshole and that is something I'm down with. It wasn't until I joined and played around that I understood how addictive it was to make people hate you. And I mean really hate you. If I could find my old phone I'd show the pictures I took of PS3 hatemail where one guy went into exquisite detail how he'd love to see me get murdered. All this because I deemed him unworthy of the Bell. This covenant is badass and best of all you don't even have to interact with them. Your own curiosity, greed and pride brought you to this, nigga.

Chadlord Covenant, don't wanna hear anything else
Rat King - Hands down the best covenant in the game. When I was new I had no idea what the fuck this covenant even did, I think I actually killed the Rat King by accident because it was a rat that is almost undistinguishable from other rats. Then I corrected my mistake and stopped being a racist and gave it a whirl. This is no joke the most fun you can have in DS2. This covenant is like the Bell Keepers, but you're also playing Tecmo's Deception. Unleash a bunch of traps and cut off convenient pathways all in the name of being a colossal asshole. There's also something even better that trumps the Bell Keepers: you bring the player into your world and all the would-be enemies are friendly to you as long as you're apart of the Rat Gang. That means Bonfire Ascetic that shit up and watch the magic happen. I recommend busting out the good ol dual-Avelyns if you're doing Doors of Pharros and chewing on a cigar like a 1930s mobster holding their tommygun. Greatest covenant in all of Dark Souls games.

All three games do something with their covenants that the others do not. Some (DS2) do them better in general than others (DS1), but I do believe there's a middle ground between all games to perfect them. For starters, switching between them should be possible without punishment, but it should not be possible on the fly. Maybe tie it into the leveling waifu of the month. As for the actual covenants, this is what I've figured out so far:

- The Basic Boys. Team newbie is one of the first you can join. Being a member should add a bonus to your health and make it a bit easier to farm out the equivalent of humanity/effigies/embers. This does come at the cost of being the primary target for invasion by the rest of the covenants. You can't level up in this one: the increase in important items is the reward.
- The Fun Police. The boys in blue watching over the newbs and step in when one gets invaded, get their currency by beating all invaders in a host's world. Get powerful magical buffs.
- Sunbros. Engage in jolly cooperation against the world. Can also opt to invade players who area already being invaded to cooperate with the invader. Groups of Sunbros can also invite others to invade, which is shown from the signs that they draw. Get the most potent lightning bolts and group healing spells.
- Edgelords. Drop in on other players and ruin their day. Get their currency by killing the host. Multiple edgelords can invade at the same time and the reward is assigned randomly, and they can damage one another. They get the most explosive fire spells. Also no waifus to give your currency to.
- Wardens. If you come into their neighbourhood they can invade and ruin your day. Have one or two areas that are required to pass through, and several smaller ones that are optional but have a bonus boss at the end. Get their currency from beating trespassers, which they can use for powerful dark spells that deal damage over time or inflict status effects, or make their home turf more dangerous.
- Trolls. Can invade or be invited into your world and can attack anything except quest-relevant NPCs. They can follow a host into a boss fight and help them fight. Get their currency from killing either the host or the area boss, which is spent on items to help them disguise themselves or spawn additional enemies into their host's world, who can turn against the troll if attacked.
- Duelists. May or may not be dragon flavored, they can be invited into your world for a fight. The winner gets their currency, which can be spent on improving their super mode which only works if the user is unarmored, unarmed or both. The higher your rank the fancier you look. Other invaders into a world where two duelists are going at it can be attacked by both.
- PvE Gang. More or less hard mode for the seasoned PvE player. More enemies, tougher enemies or both, including optional challenging encounters and at least one bonus boss. Unlocks gimmicky rewards for very particular builds: think stuff like the Vanquisher's Seal.

That should cover everything without there being duplicates. The whole angle of "being summoned into a boss fight" ala Spears of the Church can be rolled into the Wardens. Imagine the Royal Rat Authority but there's also a rat boy there!

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

DS1 did have the Gravelord Covenant which was pretty interesting in theory. You make the game much harder for other people at random by cursing their world with tough black phantoms, but if they see your sign they can invade your world to kill you which would lift the curse in their world and have those phantoms disappear. Personally I think the Rat Covenant is more fun since it's fully interactive but I think the Gravelord thing could have its place somewhere since it's definitely a unique spin.

Personally I'd make any faction with high item find rates be more prone to invasions as a risk/reward, I'd have the hard mode PVE covenant encounter more hostile spirits that have the AI of DS2's NPC invaders (like Maldron the Assassin or Jester Thomas, either trolling dickheads or hyper aggressive cancer builds) and gatekeeper covenants should receive bonus rewards if they prevent the goal in that area from being reached like killing someone before they can ring the bell. Wouldn't mind there being a scavenger faction that favors invading worlds that have two people fighting already and join in as a threat to both, if they kill both the other phantom and the host they get a random piece of gear from both their inventories (though not from any item box). Would create an interesting focus shift in the midst of a battle.

 

[Nathir]

All three games do something with their covenants that the others do not. Some (DS2) do them better in general than others (DS1), but I do believe there's a middle ground between all games to perfect them. For starters, switching between them should be possible without punishment, but it should not be possible on the fly. Maybe tie it into the leveling waifu of the month. As for the actual covenants, this is what I've figured out so far:

Why?

 

[Caim]

DS1 did have the Gravelord Covenant which was pretty interesting in theory. You make the game much harder for other people at random by cursing their world with tough black phantoms, but if they see your sign they can invade your world to kill you which would lift the curse in their world and have those phantoms disappear. Personally I think the Rat Covenant is more fun since it's fully interactive but I think the Gravelord thing could have its place somewhere since it's definitely a unique spin.

Personally I'd make any faction with high item find rates be more prone to invasions as a risk/reward, I'd have the hard mode PVE covenant encounter more hostile spirits that have the AI of DS2's NPC invaders (like Maldron the Assassin or Jester Thomas, either trolling dickheads or hyper aggressive cancer builds) and gatekeeper covenants should receive bonus rewards if they prevent the goal in that area from being reached like killing someone before they can ring the bell. Wouldn't mind there being a scavenger faction that favors invading worlds that have two people fighting already and join in as a threat to both, if they kill both the other phantom and the host they get a random piece of gear from both their inventories (though not from any item box). Would create an interesting focus shift in the midst of a battle.

Gravelording is fun, but a bit wonky in DS1. So by mixing it with the Mound Makers you have a wildcard covenant that can do whatever it wants at a moment's notice.

Having the hard mode PvE covenant add more tough monsters is certainly an option. I've played a lot of the Cinders mod for Dark Souls 3, and one of the options you have there is having a lot more enemies in the world, which makes the game tougher by making fights more involved. Actually harder boss enemies are few and far between, but they happen.

As for the scavenger faction... permanent punishment in a game like this is not a good idea. And just copying a random piece of equipment from a defeated enemy can really throw off the flow of the game. However, this could be done by spawning in a scavenger who needs to find pickups specifically placed for them, and the host can chase down the scavenger. If the scavenger gets all the pickups and makes it back to their entry point they will get a boatload of souls, but if the host kills them they get nohting. Maybe the host can also get some of the pickups, and if the scavenger escapes without getting all of them the host gets some souls out of it. Having the host hold some of the pickups might reduce the reward for the scavenger, so the scavenger will have to balance risk, reward and speed.

All three games do something with their covenants that the others do not. Some (DS2) do them better in general than others (DS1), but I do believe there's a middle ground between all games to perfect them. For starters, switching between them should be possible without punishment, but it should not be possible on the fly. Maybe tie it into the leveling waifu of the month. As for the actual covenants, this is what I've figured out so far:

Why?

Because it's more fun than having to choose between not being able to do the thing you want or losing all progress you have in your current covenant.

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

Spoiler

UMBRAL DAGGER +5 FOR BACKSTAB FISHING/PARRIES

MAGIC INFUSED ICE RAPIER +5 TO CARRY US HOME

BUCKLER FOR EASY PARRY FRAMES

FLYNN'S RING FOR THE GIMMICKS

OLD LEO RING FOR THE COUNTERS

RING OF BLADES +2 SOLO FARMED BECAUSE THAT'S WHO I AM

ENGRAVED GAUNTLETS FOR THE BIG DICK DAMAGE

SACRED OATH TO MAKE SURE YOU DIE

GREAT CRYSTAL WEAPON TO MAKE SURE YOU HIT YOUR SCREEN

GREATER HEAL TO COUNTER THE INEVITABLE GANKS

AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF RESIN JUST IN CASE

THROWING KNIVES TO FINISH 'EM OFF

FIREBOMBS TO FINISH 'EM OFF IN STYLE

REPAIR POWDER FOR R2 SPAM

I'M SORRY CARVING FOR WHEN THIS KNIFE OR SWORD GOES UP SOMEONE'S ASS

WIFI CONNECTION TO REALLY MAKE SURE THOSE PHANTOM HITS LAND

Time to rank up.

 

[Nathir]

Because it's more fun than having to choose between not being able to do the thing you want or losing all progress you have in your current covenant.

It's called a covenant, not the afternoon cooking class. I am okay with stuff like way of white having no penalty, but some other covenants could imo even have harsher penalties rather than just losing progress.

 

[d1r]

DS1 did have the Gravelord Covenant which was pretty interesting in theory. You make the game much harder for other people at random by cursing their world with tough black phantoms, but if they see your sign they can invade your world to kill you which would lift the curse in their world and have those phantoms disappear. Personally I think the Rat Covenant is more fun since it's fully interactive but I think the Gravelord thing could have its place somewhere since it's definitely a unique spin.

Personally I'd make any faction with high item find rates be more prone to invasions as a risk/reward, I'd have the hard mode PVE covenant encounter more hostile spirits that have the AI of DS2's NPC invaders (like Maldron the Assassin or Jester Thomas, either trolling dickheads or hyper aggressive cancer builds) and gatekeeper covenants should receive bonus rewards if they prevent the goal in that area from being reached like killing someone before they can ring the bell. Wouldn't mind there being a scavenger faction that favors invading worlds that have two people fighting already and join in as a threat to both, if they kill both the other phantom and the host they get a random piece of gear from both their inventories (though not from any item box). Would create an interesting focus shift in the midst of a battle.

Gravelording was only working for New Game Plus players. One of Dark Souls' biggest mistakes.

 

[cvv]

Rat Covenant WOULD'VE been the best.

If FS didn't place it IN AN OPTIONAL FUCKING AREA.

Imagine HAVING to run through the Doors of Farros, knowing that an army of neckbeard basement edgelords is already waiting for you.

 

[Generic-Giant-Spider]

DS2 really did have some jamming beats.

 

[Puukko]

Has anyone played the more recent overhaul mods to make a recommendation? My initial/current plan was to play Augur of Darkness since that seems to be the granddaddy of DS2 overhauls, but it hasn't had updates since 2019 and there have been a number of more recent ones (Seeker of Fire, Ascended) which to my ear sounds like they may have been made with better tools and more modder experience. I'm wondering how they compare. I only played the very beginning of AoD and remember enemies disappearing between area loading zones, lol.