The Mass Effect 3/BioWare Thread

[Cowboy Moment]

I dunno about you nvidia bros, but I always end up subconsciously hating the games ATI advertises in CCC. But that might just be because Catalyst is a buggy piece of shit that's harder to remove than most actual malware.

 

[Freelance Henchman]

ATI Catalyst

 

[skuphundaku]

You thought that Bioware has a monopoly on "We are synthetics that kill you so that you won't be killed by synthetics"? Think again: "British Leaders Suggest Panic Buying Of Gasoline To Avoid Panic Buying Of Gasoline [Zero Hedge]"

 

[DwarvenFood]

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

You thought that Bioware has a monopoly on "We are synthetics that kill you so that you won't be killed by synthetics"? Think again: "British Leaders Suggest Panic Buying Of Gasoline To Avoid Panic Buying Of Gasoline [Zero Hedge]"

YO DAWG is a universally accepted method it seems.

 

[skuphundaku]

 

[Oesophagus]

Okay, but British Leaders are lying for money.

Are you suggesting that the reapers..
..oh

..oh no!

 

[Storyfag]

Okay, but British Leaders are lying for money.

Are you suggesting that the reapers Bioware..
..oh

..oh no!

Fixed

 

[Idiott]

 

[Oesophagus]

You know, Bioware can still make this thing fly. All they need to do in the ending DLC is to reveal that the god-kid is a Donald Rumsfeld character, who just lied to sheperds about the whole organics-synthetics thing.
It was all about oil from the start!: x

 

[skuphundaku]

The Reapers actually hate us for our freedom!

 

[Outlander]

In the upcoming DLC: 'Mass Effect 3 - You Thought The Other Was The Real Ending LOL', Bioware will reveal that everything that happened after the intro in Mass Effect 2 was a fabrication of Shepard's dying mind.

At least that way the 'plot' would make sense.

 

[Angthoron]

You know, Bioware can still make this thing fly. All they need to do in the ending DLC is to reveal that the god-kid is a Donald Rumsfeld character, who just lied to sheperds about the whole organics-synthetics thing.
It was all about oil from the start!: x

Well, oil is actually made out of organic stuff.

THEREFORE OIL IS PEOPLE.

 

[Menckenstein]

 

[Oesophagus]

Well, oil is actually made out of organic stuff.

THEREFORE OIL IS PEOPLE.

Thus, with two off-the-cuff posts, the Codex creates an immensely more plausible and interesting plot than ME3. Which does not mean that it's any good

 

[villain of the story]

I think Reapers are from the future. Civilisations will develop terrible weapons that will destroy everything so in the end, the only option they will end up with will be to send their terrible weapons that destroyed everything back in time to destroy everything in the past to prevent the weapons being developed in future.

Now, incidentally, time travel takes 10K or 50K years or whatever it was in the game.

 

[deus101]

THE REAPERS IS KAISER SOZE!

 

[DraQ]

time travel takes 10K or 50K years

How would that even work?

 

[villain of the story]

Because it's hard science, mang. Time travel is hard work.

 

[Regdar]

In the upcoming DLC: 'Mass Effect 3 - You Thought The Other Was The Real Ending LOL', Bioware will reveal that everything that happened after the intro in Mass Effect 2 was a fabrication of Shepard's dying mind.

At least that way the 'plot' would make sense.

Earlier than that bro. Think prothean beacon on Eden Prime in ME1.

 

[Ulminati]

@Bioware

Make the "Fixed true ending DLC" exactly the same as the one already in the game, followed by a cut to Shepherd lying in a hospital bed. Ash/Kaidan are standing next to Shepard talking to Doctor Chakwas. In the back, the stereotypical heartbeat monitor bleeping from hospital dramas emenates from some life support equipment.

Kaidan: "Doctor, do you think Shepard will ever wake up again?"
Chakwas: "I'm afraid not. The protean artefact on eden prime completely fried Shepards mind. He/She may be experiencing lucid dreams, but he/she will forever be locked in this vegetative state"
*The 3 of them look thoughtfully at Shepards unconscious body for a moment*
Ashley: "I guess this is mercy then."
Ashley disengages the life shupport machine. Cut to the heartbeat monitor slowing down, then flatlining while sad music plays.

Here's a track you can copy-paste.



I'd buy that DLC. Hell, I'd buy ME3 for that DLC.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

@Bioware

Make the "Fixed true ending DLC" exactly the same as the one already in the game, followed by a cut to Shepherd lying in a hospital bed. Ash/Kaidan are standing next to Shepard talking to Doctor Chakwas. In the back, the stereotypical heartbeat monitor bleeping from hospital dramas emenates from some life support equipment.

Kaidan: "Doctor, do you think Shepard will ever wake up again?"
Chakwas: "I'm afraid not. The protean artefact on eden prime completely fried Shepards mind. He/She may be experiencing lucid dreams, but he/she will forever be locked in this vegetative state"
*The 3 of them look thoughtfully at Shepards unconscious body for a moment*
Ashley: "I guess this is mercy then."
Ashley disengages the life shupport machine. Cut to the heartbeat monitor slowing down, then flatlining while sad music plays.

Here's a track you can copy-paste.



I'd buy that DLC. Hell, I'd buy ME3 for that DLC.

Half the Biodrones would die from apoplexy.

 

[DraQ]

Half the Biodrones would die from apoplexy.

If they look anything like bio team, that goes without saying.

 

[sgc_meltdown]

Half the Biodrones would die from apoplexy.

Not yet.

(credits + sad music)

Wait, what's this, an after the credits cutscene?

Maybe...maybe it wasn't, wait, this is that mining cavern wher-

oh no

no, no no

[floating female asari skeleton in scientist suit.]

as the cutscene fades, Liara's faint voice: "Shepard..."

...

-Mass Effect 3 Menu-

 

[DraQ]

[floating female asari skeleton in scientist suit.]

Would seriously buy.