The Witcher 3 GOTY Edition

[Storyfag]

Witcher 3 suffers from the lack of best friend Siegfried. I don't know why so many characters like him, Kalkstein, etc. were thrown to the side.

where's iorweth he was in the last game lol
cdpr's approach to the franchise is very much "this is a new game get over it" and i'm not against it

IIRC there were plans for his appearence, but then the deadline came.

 

[Maxie]

where's iorweth he was in the last game lol

I don't think he made it even in 2

you mean yaevinn

I might. I killed them all on general principle.

don't trip over your penis king

 

[Maxie]

Witcher 3 suffers from the lack of best friend Siegfried. I don't know why so many characters like him, Kalkstein, etc. were thrown to the side.

where's iorweth he was in the last game lol
cdpr's approach to the franchise is very much "this is a new game get over it" and i'm not against it

IIRC there were plans for his appearence, but then the deadline came.

i'm still cringing that they bothered to bring in vernon roach and that wacko lesbian and mirosław zbrojewicz
luckily i could finally orchestrate da blue str1pes getting killed

 

[Skinwalker]

One thing I regret is brewing all those decoctions. I thought they would help me fight the monster from which they are brewed, but they just have random effects that don't help. They're all fucking useless and cluttering my inventory. Can I get rid of them?

Troll decoction is pretty good in a pinch.

Perhaps, but so far all of the trolls I've come across have been non-hostile comic relief characters. Like five of them already. Are there any trolls who don't talk and just attack you on sight? I need their livers.

 

[Old Hans]

One thing I regret is brewing all those decoctions. I thought they would help me fight the monster from which they are brewed, but they just have random effects that don't help. They're all fucking useless and cluttering my inventory. Can I get rid of them?

Troll decoction is pretty good in a pinch.

Perhaps, but so far all of the trolls I've come across have been non-hostile comic relief characters. Like five of them already. Are there any trolls who don't talk and just attack you on sight? I need their livers.

there are some generic hostile trolls. I know there is at least 1 in a cave, but I wont spoil which cave.

 

[Storyfag]

Are there any trolls who don't talk and just attack you on sight? I need their livers.

Undvik.

 

[Skinwalker]

Having finally arrived at Skellige, I found myself 1. horribly over-levelled, and 2. reading a woke book that makes no sense.

The last sentence is particularly nonsensical. Each is master of their own fate, but also Freya determines your fate? Also Freya cares not for "outward" traits like sex, but isn't being male/female a major aspect of your destiny, thus making it part of what Freya determines? This is very upsetting to me.

Anyway, from what I remember, the main quest eventually gives you a choice between a man and a womynz for the next ruler of Skellige, and heavily promotes the wombynz as the progressive intelligent reasonable prosperity-bringing leader, whereas the man is a dumb, violent oaf. I chose the man anyway, and I'll do it again.

Fuck off with your loaded choices, you wokinistas!

 

[Cologno]

It's called "bullshit".

 

[AwesomeButton]

I think I've read somewhere that in pagan Norse society women and men could both ask for divorce, and women were allowed to inherit land.

 

[Maxie]

I think I've read somewhere that in pagan Norse society women and men could both ask for divorce, and women were allowed to inherit land.

this is Skellige islands a fictional creation

 

[NorwegianWolf]

The last sentence is particularly nonsensical. Each is master of their own fate, but also Freya determines your fate? Also Freya cares not for "outward" traits like sex, but isn't being male/female a major aspect of your destiny, thus making it part of what Freya determines? This is very upsetting to me.

I agree, this sentence sounds like it was written by an unpaid intern. Doesn't make sense.

 

[ScrotumBroth]

Witcher 3 suffers from the lack of best friend Siegfried. I don't know why so many characters like him, Kalkstein, etc. were thrown to the side.

where's iorweth he was in the last game lol
cdpr's approach to the franchise is very much "this is a new game get over it" and i'm not against it

IIRC there were plans for his appearence, but then the deadline came.

I read somewhere that people have found game files with his name, apparently he'd be in the elf ghetto of the city.

 

[Skinwalker]

The Wild Hunt, more like, the Endless Rain. Why'd they program the game world to rain like 70% of the freaking time? Even Skellige, which you'd think would be more snowy than rainy. But noooo, snow is, like, a once in a blue moon occurrence in Vikingland, but rain is constant, never-ending. The rain was there before the witchers, and it will remain long after they are gone.

Yea, I get that Central Europe is a rainy marshland, but seriously. It ruins the vibe when you have it on THIS MUCH. Games set in perfidious Albion don't have as much rain as Twitcher 3: It's Raining Again.

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

Just be glad that The Witcher 3 didn't also follow the color scheme of its native country:

 

[Maxie]

The Wild Hunt, more like, the Endless Rain. Why'd they program the game world to rain like 70% of the freaking time? Even Skellige, which you'd think would be more snowy than rainy. But noooo, snow is, like, a once in a blue moon occurrence in Vikingland, but rain is constant, never-ending. The rain was there before the witchers, and it will remain long after they are gone.

Yea, I get that Central Europe is a rainy marshland, but seriously. It ruins the vibe when you have it on THIS MUCH. Games set in perfidious Albion don't have as much rain as Twitcher 3: It's Raining Again.

hey asshole
it's also windy

 

[Skinwalker]

The Wild Hunt, more like, the Endless Rain. Why'd they program the game world to rain like 70% of the freaking time? Even Skellige, which you'd think would be more snowy than rainy. But noooo, snow is, like, a once in a blue moon occurrence in Vikingland, but rain is constant, never-ending. The rain was there before the witchers, and it will remain long after they are gone.

Yea, I get that Central Europe is a rainy marshland, but seriously. It ruins the vibe when you have it on THIS MUCH. Games set in perfidious Albion don't have as much rain as Twitcher 3: It's Raining Again.

hey asshole
it's also windy

Wind's howling.

 

[Cologno]

Looks like rain.
Erh, raining again.
Urhhh, now snow.

 

[Skinwalker]

Hm. The game was pretty good at giving you the option to not attack talking trolls, but then I came across a group farting in a cave, and they automatically turned hostile. Forsooth, CD Project Red. Shame on you.

Troll lives matter!

 

[Skinwalker]

After avoiding the meme for most of the game, Twitter 3 finally caved in and revealed a "hidden" female blacksmith. Oh, you thought that dwarf was gonna be the master armorer? Well, check yo privilege, sexist bigot! It's actually his 20 year old busty blonde WOMYNZ assistant who's been the REAL master armorer this whole time! Dass right, bigots, WOMBYNZ can spend all day hitting a piece of metal with a hammer on an anvil until it straightens out, just as well, NAY, BETTER! than filthy disgusting men! It's not like muscle strength and extreme patience are in any way involved in this! Or hand-eye coordination. Or tolerating the heat of the forge. All things that womynz naturally excel at!

SO EMPOWERING!!! Moar female blacksmiths please, only then can we end sexism.

 

[Cologno]

So good she's banging out dents at Crows Perch and still directs you to retrieve designs conceived by men, she has faith are better, and yet she can't replicate. I think i blew that one off don't recall missing anything.

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

Yoana is the only master armorer in the base game, meaning she's the only person who can craft master-level versions of the various Witcher armors, though there's another master added by the Hearts of Stone expansion and still another by the Blood and Wine expansion (which also has an unlockable grandmaster armorer).

 

[Cologno]

Yoana is the only master armorer in the base game, meaning she's the only person who can craft master-level versions of the various Witcher armors, though there's another master added by the Hearts of Stone expansion and still another by the Blood and Wine expansion (which also has an unlockable grandmaster armorer).

Okay, then I didn't blow her off then cuz I know I had master level armor in the end. I liked the game but it's sheer length blended together after awhile.

 

[jackofshadows]

After avoiding the meme for most of the game, Twitter 3 finally caved in and revealed a "hidden" female blacksmith. Oh, you thought that dwarf was gonna be the master armorer? Well, check yo privilege, sexist bigot! It's actually his 20 year old busty blonde WOMYNZ assistant who's been the REAL master armorer this whole time! Dass right, bigots, WOMBYNZ can spend all day hitting a piece of metal on an anvil until it straightens out with a hammer just as well, NAY, BETTER! than filthy disgusting men! It's not like muscle strength and extreme patience are in any way involved in this! Or hand-eye coordination. Or tolerating the heat of the forge. All things that womynz naturally excel at!

SO EMPOWERING!!! Moar female blacksmiths please, only then can we end sexism.

To be fair, this subversion is very much in line with the original setting. Would be also in line if said ASSistant blow Geralt as a bonus reward though.

Also:

 

[Maxie]

After avoiding the meme for most of the game, Twitter 3 finally caved in and revealed a "hidden" female blacksmith. Oh, you thought that dwarf was gonna be the master armorer? Well, check yo privilege, sexist bigot! It's actually his 20 year old busty blonde WOMYNZ assistant who's been the REAL master armorer this whole time! Dass right, bigots, WOMBYNZ can spend all day hitting a piece of metal with a hammer on an anvil until it straightens out, just as well, NAY, BETTER! than filthy disgusting men! It's not like muscle strength and extreme patience are in any way involved in this! Or hand-eye coordination. Or tolerating the heat of the forge. All things that womynz naturally excel at!

SO EMPOWERING!!! Moar female blacksmiths please, only then can we end sexism.

bow before da womyns librul. in the witcher 2 inside iorweth's squat there's a female scoiatel literally complaining that regardless of what she does she will never be given command just because she's a woman

of course geralt can say 'kalahira stay strong queen' or act non-committal, it has no consequence either way and you don't meet her again either lmao

 

[9ted6]

After avoiding the meme for most of the game, Twitter 3 finally caved in and revealed a "hidden" female blacksmith. Oh, you thought that dwarf was gonna be the master armorer? Well, check yo privilege, sexist bigot! It's actually his 20 year old busty blonde WOMYNZ assistant who's been the REAL master armorer this whole time! Dass right, bigots, WOMBYNZ can spend all day hitting a piece of metal with a hammer on an anvil until it straightens out, just as well, NAY, BETTER! than filthy disgusting men! It's not like muscle strength and extreme patience are in any way involved in this! Or hand-eye coordination. Or tolerating the heat of the forge. All things that womynz naturally excel at!

SO EMPOWERING!!! Moar female blacksmiths please, only then can we end sexism.

That's accurate to the source material where every single man that's not in Geralt's crew is stupid or evil and women are always much more capable at every single thing.

Two core themes of the books are women >>>>>>> men and vague sympathies toward Communist Poland even though its government was headed by men so in the Twitcher man's view it should've been terrible.