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The Witcher is popamole

1eyedking

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The Witcher's art direction & writing is extremely brian-engaging. Combat is actiony - nowhere near Diablo quality though. Almost zero role-playing game mechanics.

Conclusion: an excellent adventure game. And very good games nowadays, at whatever genre, are nonexistent.

Not that it would still stand tall against other classics, though.
 
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1eyedking said:
The Witcher's art direction & writing is extremely brian-engaging.

393px-Sex_Clerks.png
 

Phelot

Arcane
Joined
Mar 28, 2009
Messages
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deranged said:
The only way to play Witcher is on 'Hard', where you actually have to use potions and herbalism. Otherwise you're dead....

And as far as Action-RPGs go it had the best combat. And it was something new... ++ For that.

But it IS just QTE combat ALL THE TIME. None of those stats or skills explain how Geralt does those retarded backflip sword ballet dancing, it's just show. If you want Action-RPG play RIsen or something similar. The Witcher is just waiting for a signal to press the button again. All in all, combat was extremely disapointing for me. Luckily, the entire game didn't consist of it, but enough of it did to ruin it. Chapter 2 wasn't so bad, but the English translation made it difficult to follow WTF was happening.
 

made

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Germany
Clockwork Knight said:
Why would anyone want a peasant smelling like pig shit when there's the naked blonde on top of a pile of gold coins is beyond me

FtR said:
Actually I don't think she's anything more than a fuckbag.

Really? What gave you that impression?

393px-Sex_Clerks.png

Except it's not a peasant. Witcher wiki says it's a sex-starved secretary.
 

Phelot

Arcane
Joined
Mar 28, 2009
Messages
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made said:
Clockwork Knight said:
Why would anyone want a peasant smelling like pig shit when there's the naked blonde on top of a pile of gold coins is beyond me

FtR said:
Actually I don't think she's anything more than a fuckbag.

Really? What gave you that impression?

393px-Sex_Clerks.png

Except it's not a peasant. Witcher wiki says it's a sex-starved secretary.

Yeah, she's one of about 6 or so of the same model NPC that wanders around some administration building. The fun part is clicking on every identical NPC to figure out which one will have sex for a fucking diamond
 

Phelot

Arcane
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She looks sickly with that skin tone.

Also, it is mature that she does not react to your beating of her father. This seems reasonable.
 

VentilatorOfDoom

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phelot said:
She looks sickly with that skin tone.

Also, it is mature that she does not react to your beating of her father. This seems reasonable.
you have to *roleplay* that, mang. He probably treated her badly and didn't let her fuck around however she wanted n stuff, so she thinks he got what he deserved. *roleplay*, get it?
 

Phelot

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Messages
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VentilatorOfDoom said:
phelot said:
She looks sickly with that skin tone.

Also, it is mature that she does not react to your beating of her father. This seems reasonable.
you have to *roleplay* that, mang. He probably treated her badly and didn't let her fuck around however she wanted n stuff, so she thinks he got what he deserved. *roleplay*, get it?

Of course!

Games with bad writing and storyline holes are superior because they allow you to use your imagination.
 

CrimHead

Scholar
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Jan 16, 2010
Messages
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1eyedking said:
The Witcher's art direction & writing is extremely brian-engaging. Combat is actiony - nowhere near Diablo quality though. Almost zero role-playing game mechanics.

Conclusion: an excellent adventure game. And very good games nowadays, at whatever genre, are nonexistent.

Not that it would still stand tall against other classics, though.

brian-engaging

This is all you need to know about the contents of this post.
 

Volourn

Pretty Princess
Pretty Princess Glory to Ukraine
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24,924
"And as far as Action-RPGs go it had the best combat."

Bullshit. There's like 1000 ActionRPgs with better combat than TW.
 

Sceptic

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Messages
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Divinity: Original Sin
OK which one of you edited the Shivering Isles entry on Uncyclopedia?

The ED one had some hilarious bits too, especially the platforms comparison.
 

CrimHead

Scholar
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Jan 16, 2010
Messages
3,084
Political tension runs high in Cyrodiil, as the new Emperor Vince D. Weller has executed the beloved troll spacemoose for inciting rebellion and exposing himself in the Imperial City. The Emperor's political opponents, Nutcracker, vrok, and Cassidy, cried foul and started rabble-rousing in the streets, causing Weller to send in for the fearsome guard ViolentOpposition in an attempt to restore order. Meanwhile behind the scenes, the Emperor's advisor Naked_Lunch opened the gates of RetardoLand in the midst of all of the chaos. Naked_Lunch proceeded to give the Amulet of Kings to Nicolai and POOPERSCOOPER, who used its power to create a wordfilter throughout all of Cyrodiil, making communication impossible. They brand the Emperor a DUMBFUCK!!! and attempt to blame their coup on a bard named kingcomrade and a furry Kajeet named Jasede. The coup fails, however, when the retired God-Emperor DarkUnderlord returns to power and restores order to the realm of Cyrodiil. Vince Weller, who was stripped of his imperial power during the coup, asks DarkUnderlord for his powers back so he can smite the revolutionaries. DarkUnderlord replied coyly, "Fuck you."
 

Hamster

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Codex 2012 Grab the Codex by the pussy Codex USB, 2014
The worst parts of TW for me were story and main character, not combat. They shoudn't have replaced the new witcher they planed from the beginning with this idiocy with amnesiac Geralt.
 

Thrasher

Erudite
Joined
Jan 17, 2008
Messages
1,407
Suicidal said:
Quilty said:
Play the game on the highest difficulty, it forces you to approach combat with a little more strategy and makes alchemy important. The combat remains a QTE but you have to be more careful.

I fire-spell-spammed my way through the game on highest difficulty, the only enemies that gave me trouble were the fire elementals which appeared, IIRC, twice in the entire game and The Beast because my fire spell wasn't developed enough at that stage in the game. Is this considered "more strategy"? Yeah it does make alchemy more important, as in, you need to drink a potion of stamina regen before clearing a dungeon.

The combat in TW is laughably bad, and this is coming from someone who more or less enjoyed the combat in Arcanum. It has zero redeeming qualities. I wish they had made it like something the Gothic games/Risen had - actual sword fighting suited for an action RPG, where your character immediately responds to the click of the appropriate mouse button and performs a different type of strike or a shield block, which you have to time correctly, not this fucking QTE shit that belongs in bad console games + that one spell that can easily win you the game.

Not only is it completely uninteresting, but also not very entertaining to look at. If you use your sword it feels as if you're just slicing air - the enemies don't seem to react to you striking them, the only way you can tell that you're hitting them is by the blood trails n shit.

Good game, but the combat could have been much, MUCH better.

^This. Plus too much running back and forth. But.... it is a good game for the story and C&C.
 

1eyedking

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Thrasher said:
I fire-spell-spammed my way through the game on highest difficulty, the only enemies that gave me trouble were the fire elementals which appeared, IIRC, twice in the entire game and The Beast because my fire spell wasn't developed enough at that stage in the game. Is this considered "more strategy"? Yeah it does make alchemy more important, as in, you need to drink a potion of stamina regen before clearing a dungeon.

The combat in TW is laughably bad, and this is coming from someone who more or less enjoyed the combat in Arcanum. It has zero redeeming qualities. I wish they had made it like something the Gothic games/Risen had - actual sword fighting suited for an action RPG, where your character immediately responds to the click of the appropriate mouse button and performs a different type of strike or a shield block, which you have to time correctly, not this fucking QTE shit that belongs in bad console games + that one spell that can easily win you the game.

Not only is it completely uninteresting, but also not very entertaining to look at. If you use your sword it feels as if you're just slicing air - the enemies don't seem to react to you striking them, the only way you can tell that you're hitting them is by the blood trails n shit.

Good game, but the combat could have been much, MUCH better.
Also, this.
 

Serious_Business

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P.S. TW sex cards are fuckin' awesome

So Captain Center of the World thinks everything in the Witcher is shit except the sex cards? Explains a whole fucking lot, as always, thanks for being so obvious shithead it helps otherwise one might think you're a fully developped human being

I agree with this faggot thread, back when it was out I thought the Witcher was decent enough but I tried it again recently and I was dissapointed (yeah yeah... dissapoint). Didn't get very far, but it just doesn't seem very engaging to me. I've been playing KoTOR2 recently as well and it has much better writing, although obviously there's the Star wars shit to deal with but yeah I can handle it. I'm wondering if the patch will fix the end game, hope so cause I was really disgusted by it the last time. If you remove the end though (and maybe the gameplay... yeah fuck it) the game is a pretty fun ride. Compared to the first one which was a total bore fest, this has some existentialist undertones which I really appreciate, shows what decent/good writing will do for you.

Anyway this thread is about the Witcher so yeah, very ordinary game. I wouldn't cross it off the list of playable games in a rage but still, I don't think it's very inspiring and plays the blues and has heart and whatever the fuck it was. It's basically a Bioware game, but improved a little. However, Shepard is more extreme than Geralt, I think. Too much faggy long hair and emo bullshit going on, needs more cybernegro.

Edit : I meant Shepperd
 

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