Carceri
Arcane
This LP needs more pictures. I mean, the text is fine, but common!
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This is the old shit; Let's Play Baldur's Gate (Completed)
- Thread starter Edward_R_Murrow
- Start date
SCO
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2009
- Messages
- 16,320
You know I have tried making games. It's kinda boring.
Here is my completely effortless effort done to get a passing grade, lighting bug and all:
http://rapidshare.com/files/245717491/Polaris.zip.html
Here is my completely effortless effort done to get a passing grade, lighting bug and all:
http://rapidshare.com/files/245717491/Polaris.zip.html
Hory
Erudite
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2003
- Messages
- 3,002
I get an EXCEPTION_ACCESS_VIOLATION after the "Just kill everything" screen.SCO said:
In any case, I say that it may be boring if you do everything by yourself. Making engines is boring and is not particularly artistic. The engine is not a game, it's just a tool. The mechanics are the real game. Of course it's boring when, for your "polarity mechanics" you have to spend hours wrestling with generic code. Java is boring too. For such small projects you can safely use a more high-level language.
Andyman Messiah
Mr. Ed-ucated
I have come to this thread for two things and two things only. 1; to tell Mareus he is entitled to his wrongness, and 2; to tell Ed to continue the lp.
SCO
Arcane
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2009
- Messages
- 16,320
You must have a 64 bit system or something, probably its lwgl fucking up. The "game" is obviously not a game at all but a demostration that i know how to setup a 3d camera and frustum, and i think i managed to fuck that up, as is obvious from the ambient color and particle effects fuckups.
But it has the shadow of the beast and Agony music, two of the best amiga mods. Every pathetic game has a silver lining.
But it has the shadow of the beast and Agony music, two of the best amiga mods. Every pathetic game has a silver lining.
deuxhero
Arcane
Hmm, never played BG
1.Should I
2.Never could figure out if Fight in The Nude applied, does it? (I'm curious)
1.Should I
2.Never could figure out if Fight in The Nude applied, does it? (I'm curious)
Edward_R_Murrow
Arcane
Chapter 2: Life's A Beach
Last time, Motherfucker Shepard and crew rolled into Beregost. Now, as any adventurer knows, towns really like adventurers. Because they stimulate the local economy and all that, with their deep pockets and voracious appetite for booze, drugs, and women. They like them so much, they don't mind you breaking down the door and robbing them. With that said....
Hey look, a manor. It's robbin' time!
Time to snag a nice necklace and a wand of lightning.
That's right lock...you're gonna open when I grab your collar.
Apparently this guy doesn't like adventurers and assumes that Motherfucker Shepard will fight without his weapons.
And we all know what happens when you makes assumptions....
Time to shake down this smithy for stuff. And by shake down I mean buy things in a very civil manner because killing merchants in BG doesn't net you their inventory, and this guy is pretty much the best retailer until after the Cloakwood, and still probably the best weapons dealer. And Shepard likes weapons.
He is also good at identifying stuff. One of those belts is a powerful magical item that protects against piercing weapons...like pretty much every projectile. You can give that belt up as part of a fetch quest for something like 80 gold and 200 experience. Yeah....no thanks. You can get that much by walking into a house or something.
We head out to High Hedge, the estate of Thalantyr, the only magical shop until Baldur's Gate. Fucking monopolizing robber baron dillweed......
Like it or not, this is pretty indicative of Baldur's Gate's humour. The dialogue for the player character is really where it's at though. A lot of it reminds me of Fallout's "Could you say that again please... this time in my coat pocket?" type of lines, which is always a good thing, seeing as those were pretty humourous.
We want stuff.
Now that it's identified, the wand of lightning is usable. Time to light some people up.
The other belt i a cursed one that changes the gender of the wearer. Now who would want something like that?
Xzar apparently. I guess he felt that gender was merely a social construct, and that he was meant to be born as Xzarina. The belt works pretty well though...
And now that she has the Sleep spell...can't really complain.
Now the crew sets off to go south on their way to the beach. Beach trips are awesome, especially when you can pick up a sweet +1 Constitution item there.
IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US!
That's their excuse when PETA comes knocking.
Just...you know....ignore the Entangle spell beforehand....
Now we are finally hitting the beach.
Xzarina starts to get hormonal. Never should have given her that damn belt....
In fact, party members who want you to do something won't wait around forever. They have some time limits before they ditch you and go off on their own.
Killing the first of six Sirines who won't let us on the beach because of ocean-home, Earth mother, SCREW YOU HIPPIES IT'S SHEPARDIZING TIME!
While they can turn invisible, my entire party can't. Yay screenshot glitches!
Some Hobgoblins decide to crash the hippie ass-whupin'. Not a smart move.
Another Sirine shows up and downs Imoen with arrows of biting (poisonous arrows). They're about to get a taste of their own medicine.
Shepard, jacked up on a potion of clarity (protects against mental effects), an oil of speed (hastes user and gives 2X movement and attack speed), and the piercing protection belt goes to slaughter the last sirines with the arrows of biting looted off the other ones.
Unfortunately Khalid is seduced by the sirines and must be put down. Don't worry...his wife doesn't care and death is about as permanent in Baldur's Gate as straight-edge kids vows of abstinence.
Spelunking time!
Grab the treasure with haste.
Chug invisibility potion.
And get the fuck out of there!
On the way back, the party is attacked by Tasloi, nasty, little, green buggers with spears. Entangle and Sleep help make short work of them.
Time to run back to Beregost.
And now Jaheira is getting all pissy about Nashkel. Women...
OH SHIT MORE SIRINES!
They're just here for show...I guess. I mean, I don't know why a Lawful Good deity like Lathander would have not-so-good sea nymphs here. Or why a Lawful Good temple would have half-naked chicks singing for it.
Oh wait...the high priest is the governor. Makes total sense now.
Booyah! Now it's time to get 15 HP a level up.
We also nicked a Cloak that lets one assume a wolf fursona. Xzarina has already been making eyes at it.
And a wand that paralyzes people. Kinky.
Oh yeah...19 consitution at level 1! Totally worth all that hassle with the sirines.
Oh....the bonus was retroactive, huh? Whoops. That was mostly pointless then. But fun at least.
Even Montaron is having man-stration about Nashkel. Fine you whiny bitches...let's go.
We hit the road and go south.
This is supposed to show the party messing up some ogrillons (ogre-orc crossbreed) using the wonderful entangle spell. As you can likely see....it doesn't.
Going in caves and finding healing potions. Nifty! I sure wish I could go in caves and find prescriptions that wouldn't kill me/make me grow tits. Would save a lot of money...
Apparently Khalid's weapon broke. This not only serves as kind of a pain in the ass, but to illustrate the iron crisis hits everyone...except adventurers loaded enough for magical items.
I wonder if there's some social commentary here....
Sleep helps to ice some hobgoblins. One of them has Boots of Stealth and a new sword for Khalid.
Here one of the Flaming Fist, the mercenaries who serve as both the army and police for Baldur's Gate and the regions under the control of it, stop Shepard and his party thinking the are bandits. Shepard uses the "Professional" part of the dialogue stance system. It works better than sarcastic or murderous. How innovative!
The party continues south towards Nashkel.
Sleep again proves it is the best level 1 spell in BG by helping mop up a big band of hobgoblins. Why is it so great? First, enemies have shitty saving throws in most of Baldur's Gate. Second, it imposes a saving throw penalty. Third, it completely disables enemies for a few rounds. Fourth, sleeping enemies are automatically hit without the need for an attack roll, just like webbed, stunned, unconscious, or paralyzed foes.
And finally the party arrives in Nashkel. Also, it is now the game's Chapter 2 upon arriving, though my LP Chapters probably won't even sync up with the game's ever again.
Gobs o' info! Rawr!
Another would be assassin accosts Shepard in the Nashkel Inn.
She's a cleric, her most dangerous spells being Rigid Thinking, which confuses targets, and Hold Person, which does as advertised. She also has a decent armor class and a good deal of HP. Shepard has a party however.
Shepard, Khalid, and Xzarina's wolf fursona made up the front-line fighters (no Sleep spells left). Imoen and Montaron shot stuff at her, and Jaheira played with herself of something. The group interrupted the rigid thinking, but the hold person got both Khalid and Xzarina, slowing the battle down.
Shepard got tired of this though, and put the bitch in her place.
Looks like we're moving up in the world of bounties...
The first of many dream sequences, where you are given hints that there is something not quite right with you :hank:.
You get one every chapter after the first upon resting in a "safe" place.
To accompany each, you get a special power. Characters with good reputation (10+) get a Cure Light Wounds special ability that casts four times as fast. Characters with bad reputation (9 or less) get an instant casting Larloch's Minor Drain which deals 1d4+1 damage to a target and adds half the damage to your hit points. Each ability can be used once per rest.
This is the Nashkel store. Despite having a kind of poor selection, he has enough money to shell out 500 gold for each winter wolf pelt you find him. While they aren't everywhere, you're likely to run into at least 5 or so in your travels down south in the Cloudpeaks region surrounding Nashkel.
He also identifies the helmet we found on the assassin, Neira. It gives the wearer infravision, which is pretty useless. Though at this point in the game, it's just nice to have someone with a different helmet besides the horned one. Nice enough that I'll pass up the 200 gold for selling the helmet.
For shits and giggles I also identify the boots of stealth, even though I pretty much know what every magic item does already and the only use for identification is if I want to sell stuff at full price (read: more than 1gp) or use activated items like wands/staves/rods/rings/etc.
Shepard is not screwing around now.
Looks like we're off to our first dungeon crawl. Yay!
Next time; Shepard fins out just what is down in the Nashkel mines, kills it (them), and sodomizes it's corpse(s).
Last time, Motherfucker Shepard and crew rolled into Beregost. Now, as any adventurer knows, towns really like adventurers. Because they stimulate the local economy and all that, with their deep pockets and voracious appetite for booze, drugs, and women. They like them so much, they don't mind you breaking down the door and robbing them. With that said....
Hey look, a manor. It's robbin' time!
Time to snag a nice necklace and a wand of lightning.
That's right lock...you're gonna open when I grab your collar.
Apparently this guy doesn't like adventurers and assumes that Motherfucker Shepard will fight without his weapons.
And we all know what happens when you makes assumptions....
Time to shake down this smithy for stuff. And by shake down I mean buy things in a very civil manner because killing merchants in BG doesn't net you their inventory, and this guy is pretty much the best retailer until after the Cloakwood, and still probably the best weapons dealer. And Shepard likes weapons.
He is also good at identifying stuff. One of those belts is a powerful magical item that protects against piercing weapons...like pretty much every projectile. You can give that belt up as part of a fetch quest for something like 80 gold and 200 experience. Yeah....no thanks. You can get that much by walking into a house or something.
We head out to High Hedge, the estate of Thalantyr, the only magical shop until Baldur's Gate. Fucking monopolizing robber baron dillweed......
Like it or not, this is pretty indicative of Baldur's Gate's humour. The dialogue for the player character is really where it's at though. A lot of it reminds me of Fallout's "Could you say that again please... this time in my coat pocket?" type of lines, which is always a good thing, seeing as those were pretty humourous.
We want stuff.
Now that it's identified, the wand of lightning is usable. Time to light some people up.
The other belt i a cursed one that changes the gender of the wearer. Now who would want something like that?
Xzar apparently. I guess he felt that gender was merely a social construct, and that he was meant to be born as Xzarina. The belt works pretty well though...
And now that she has the Sleep spell...can't really complain.
Now the crew sets off to go south on their way to the beach. Beach trips are awesome, especially when you can pick up a sweet +1 Constitution item there.
IT'S COMING RIGHT AT US!
That's their excuse when PETA comes knocking.
Just...you know....ignore the Entangle spell beforehand....
Now we are finally hitting the beach.
Xzarina starts to get hormonal. Never should have given her that damn belt....
In fact, party members who want you to do something won't wait around forever. They have some time limits before they ditch you and go off on their own.
Killing the first of six Sirines who won't let us on the beach because of ocean-home, Earth mother, SCREW YOU HIPPIES IT'S SHEPARDIZING TIME!
While they can turn invisible, my entire party can't. Yay screenshot glitches!
Some Hobgoblins decide to crash the hippie ass-whupin'. Not a smart move.
Another Sirine shows up and downs Imoen with arrows of biting (poisonous arrows). They're about to get a taste of their own medicine.
Shepard, jacked up on a potion of clarity (protects against mental effects), an oil of speed (hastes user and gives 2X movement and attack speed), and the piercing protection belt goes to slaughter the last sirines with the arrows of biting looted off the other ones.
Unfortunately Khalid is seduced by the sirines and must be put down. Don't worry...his wife doesn't care and death is about as permanent in Baldur's Gate as straight-edge kids vows of abstinence.
Spelunking time!
Grab the treasure with haste.
Chug invisibility potion.
And get the fuck out of there!
On the way back, the party is attacked by Tasloi, nasty, little, green buggers with spears. Entangle and Sleep help make short work of them.
Time to run back to Beregost.
And now Jaheira is getting all pissy about Nashkel. Women...
OH SHIT MORE SIRINES!
They're just here for show...I guess. I mean, I don't know why a Lawful Good deity like Lathander would have not-so-good sea nymphs here. Or why a Lawful Good temple would have half-naked chicks singing for it.
Oh wait...the high priest is the governor. Makes total sense now.
Booyah! Now it's time to get 15 HP a level up.
We also nicked a Cloak that lets one assume a wolf fursona. Xzarina has already been making eyes at it.
And a wand that paralyzes people. Kinky.
Oh yeah...19 consitution at level 1! Totally worth all that hassle with the sirines.
Oh....the bonus was retroactive, huh? Whoops. That was mostly pointless then. But fun at least.
Even Montaron is having man-stration about Nashkel. Fine you whiny bitches...let's go.
We hit the road and go south.
This is supposed to show the party messing up some ogrillons (ogre-orc crossbreed) using the wonderful entangle spell. As you can likely see....it doesn't.
Going in caves and finding healing potions. Nifty! I sure wish I could go in caves and find prescriptions that wouldn't kill me/make me grow tits. Would save a lot of money...
Apparently Khalid's weapon broke. This not only serves as kind of a pain in the ass, but to illustrate the iron crisis hits everyone...except adventurers loaded enough for magical items.
I wonder if there's some social commentary here....
Sleep helps to ice some hobgoblins. One of them has Boots of Stealth and a new sword for Khalid.
Here one of the Flaming Fist, the mercenaries who serve as both the army and police for Baldur's Gate and the regions under the control of it, stop Shepard and his party thinking the are bandits. Shepard uses the "Professional" part of the dialogue stance system. It works better than sarcastic or murderous. How innovative!
The party continues south towards Nashkel.
Sleep again proves it is the best level 1 spell in BG by helping mop up a big band of hobgoblins. Why is it so great? First, enemies have shitty saving throws in most of Baldur's Gate. Second, it imposes a saving throw penalty. Third, it completely disables enemies for a few rounds. Fourth, sleeping enemies are automatically hit without the need for an attack roll, just like webbed, stunned, unconscious, or paralyzed foes.
And finally the party arrives in Nashkel. Also, it is now the game's Chapter 2 upon arriving, though my LP Chapters probably won't even sync up with the game's ever again.
Gobs o' info! Rawr!
Another would be assassin accosts Shepard in the Nashkel Inn.
She's a cleric, her most dangerous spells being Rigid Thinking, which confuses targets, and Hold Person, which does as advertised. She also has a decent armor class and a good deal of HP. Shepard has a party however.
Shepard, Khalid, and Xzarina's wolf fursona made up the front-line fighters (no Sleep spells left). Imoen and Montaron shot stuff at her, and Jaheira played with herself of something. The group interrupted the rigid thinking, but the hold person got both Khalid and Xzarina, slowing the battle down.
Shepard got tired of this though, and put the bitch in her place.
Looks like we're moving up in the world of bounties...
The first of many dream sequences, where you are given hints that there is something not quite right with you :hank:.
You get one every chapter after the first upon resting in a "safe" place.
To accompany each, you get a special power. Characters with good reputation (10+) get a Cure Light Wounds special ability that casts four times as fast. Characters with bad reputation (9 or less) get an instant casting Larloch's Minor Drain which deals 1d4+1 damage to a target and adds half the damage to your hit points. Each ability can be used once per rest.
This is the Nashkel store. Despite having a kind of poor selection, he has enough money to shell out 500 gold for each winter wolf pelt you find him. While they aren't everywhere, you're likely to run into at least 5 or so in your travels down south in the Cloudpeaks region surrounding Nashkel.
He also identifies the helmet we found on the assassin, Neira. It gives the wearer infravision, which is pretty useless. Though at this point in the game, it's just nice to have someone with a different helmet besides the horned one. Nice enough that I'll pass up the 200 gold for selling the helmet.
For shits and giggles I also identify the boots of stealth, even though I pretty much know what every magic item does already and the only use for identification is if I want to sell stuff at full price (read: more than 1gp) or use activated items like wands/staves/rods/rings/etc.
Shepard is not screwing around now.
Looks like we're off to our first dungeon crawl. Yay!
Next time; Shepard fins out just what is down in the Nashkel mines, kills it (them), and sodomizes it's corpse(s).
Best LP thread. Ever.
PrzeSzkoda
Augur
Fuck you, sir Murrow, now you made me want to replay Baldur's Gate. Okay, I think I'll give the Tutu thingy a go, just to use some class kits in the first part. All solo for me, though, those party members sure are annoying.
I was thinking that mebbe a Swashbuckler/Blade dual class would be nifty.
I was thinking that mebbe a Swashbuckler/Blade dual class would be nifty.
PrzeSzkoda
Augur
dragonfk said:
Gawd, forgot about that. You can dual-class out of a kit, but not into a kit.
I'd still like to see how 'em kits fare in BG1, especially since they all get the really kewl abilities after several levels (like, f. i., swashbuckler's AC lowers every 5 levels, and there aren't that many levels to be had in BG1 in the first place).
EDIT
Although I still could beat the system using Shadowkeeper, although that'd be sorta cheating.
coaster
Liturgist
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2007
- Messages
- 222
Some of the kits are OK but quite a few are totally overpowered in BG1, eg:
Totemic druid (spirit animals summons are level 9 & drain levels...mmm nice)
Bounty hunter traps (throw them across the screen to wipe out a bunch of enemies)
Inquisitor dispel/true sight (dispel at 2x level/remove all invisibility debuffs all mage & cleric enemies in the game)
Blade offensive spin (haste+max damage at level 1, hah)
Fun for the occasional powergaming though.
Totemic druid (spirit animals summons are level 9 & drain levels...mmm nice)
Bounty hunter traps (throw them across the screen to wipe out a bunch of enemies)
Inquisitor dispel/true sight (dispel at 2x level/remove all invisibility debuffs all mage & cleric enemies in the game)
Blade offensive spin (haste+max damage at level 1, hah)
Fun for the occasional powergaming though.
Melcar
Arcane
I think there is a fixpack out there that balances out the kits for BG1.
dolio
Scholar
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2007
- Messages
- 294
In BG2, at least, you can dual out of a kit (like the ultimate cheese character: kensai/mage), but that's all.dragonfk said:
However, swashbuckler/blade is also disallowed because you can't dual/multiclass with bard (bard is already like a prepackaged fighter/thief/mage, so that sort of makes sense).
Demnogonis Saastuttaja
Magister
I finally finished BG last week. I disliked how in the end there were more speaky NPC:s that you couldn't just backstab before combat, but overall there wasn't much to complain about. In BG2, however, it seems the important-dialogue NPC's are the norm which is pissing me off.
By the way, why did my dual-class character's second class leap to 5 in the beginning of BG2, it was 10/1 at the end of BG?
By the way, why did my dual-class character's second class leap to 5 in the beginning of BG2, it was 10/1 at the end of BG?
Talonfire
Scholar
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2008
- Messages
- 388
Demnogonis Saastuttaja said:
That's the way that BG2's "New game" level scaling system works. BG2 doesn't recognize dual classing for imported characters, unfortunately so if either level is below the minimum starting level for the said class it'll raise it.
PrzeSzkoda
Augur
Ya, the court demands a minstrel show! Go on, Motherfucker Shepard, time to break the game.
Edward_R_Murrow
Arcane
Alrighty then....here goes with a really freaking large update, powered by some IPA.
Chapter 3: Miner Inconvenience
When we last left Motherfucker Shepard, he had talked to the Mayor of Nashkel in a very EXTREME way and had agreed to clean out Nashkel's mines.
Don't mistake what Motherfucker Shepard for being some pansy move. This is just him saying that he wouldn't work for the pitiful sum of 200 gold. You can't even buy suit of plate for that.
Time to go to the carnival. One time, back in Candlekeep, the prophecy department told Shepard he would meet an incredibly annoying woman with severe emotional issues in a carnival area. Shepard grabs prophecy by the collar though and strides into the carnival unafraid.
One of the attractions is a mage with his ogre partner. The two had some falling out, and Shepard was caught in the middle. Bad choice for that ogre.
Plot development! Cernel Joson didn't listen when <s>Space Marine</s> Miner John told him about the demons, apparently.
A hostage situation! Shepard handles it with the grace and tact of a drunken silverback gorilla with a bad case of blue balls.
That is to say...he beat the ever-loving shit out of everything and raped it afterwards.
Bad idea.
Consider your collar grabbed by Master Spectre Motherfucker Shepard!
Shepard and crew leave the Nashkel Fair, and Shepard tells that prophecy to kiss his ass. Bullet dodged!
Now he must KILL THE DEMONS!
At the mine location, Shepard just finds a powerful Wand of Frost lying in this tree. I see bad ice related puns coming out of...cold storage.
It's like he was scripted to do exactly what the player character wanted him to do....
The miners are scared of the demons....but Shepard gotted his palsma sord and was ready to slashed the demons.
Miner Dink....his name is Miner Dink. Wow.....sucks to be him.
The demons were in the <s>base</s> mine.
Time for the dramatic reveal of our enemies.
Are they....
Tanar'ri, thirsting for the blood of innocent minors and hungering for chaos caused by disrupting the local economy?
Baatezu, hired by some infernal bargain for a devilish plot to help create an iron monopoly?
Yugoloths, serving as bodyguards for a terrible sorcerer?
The Pillar of Skulls set free?
Nope. Kobolds. Why can't commoners in Faerun bother reading a Monster Manual or something? I bet if they hadn't flipped out about demons, somebody already would have saved their asses. Plus...when demons really invade...nobody will believe them. And then they were a zombie.
Doom fanfic references are over now.
Still might make some Doom comic ones though.....
We deliver the dagger Miner Dink gave us to his friend.
Some kobolds block our path to the third level of the mines. They are summarily dispatched.
It's a good thing Motherfucker Shepard knew what this strange liquid was immediately upon picking it up. Elsewise he may have though it was some kobold moonshine and tried drinking it.
Hey look....a bottomless chasm....doesn't every dungeon have one of these?
What a convenient bridge over said chasm...
And here are the games (likely) first traps. If not disarmed, these shoot arrows at your characters for some decent damage.
You can't see it (yay glitches), but this spider is entangled, and easy pickings.
Shepard levels up, and decides to put more proficiency in slashy, slashy.
Lava! What's that doing here?
Besides that, this is an encounter with kobold commandos, who have a few arrows of fire in their inventory. They use these to good effect, and can seriously mess up unprotected party members.
Here are some more traps blocking the way to the fourth level of the dungeon.
More kobold commandos are fought and killed. The party rests up and gets ready to enter the ominous dome-like cave to face what is inside.
Well that was simple....
For a second there...yeah...I actually did think my dialogue options would matter.
Alright! Time for a boss fight!
This is Mulahey, a Half-Orc Cleric. I think he's about level 6 or 7, which means he has a decent arsenal of spells, moderate amount of combat ability, nice enough HP, and most importantly is immune to the sleep spell and has good enough saves to avoid Entangle.
He opens up the battle by summoning a bunch of skeletons and kobolds. Xzarina and Jaheira fire off an Entangle and Sleep combo to incapacitate them, while Khalid and Imoen deal with said foes. Shepard and Montaron go after Mulahey.
Mulahey has a few dangerous spells, namely Confusion and Hold Person. Confusion is like Neira's Rigid Thinking, except it can hit the whole party and with a save penalty. Luckily Shepad and Monty disrupt his casting. They aren't so lucky with one of his Hold spells though...
Mulahey still gets a beatdown despite holding Shepard and beating on him liberally. He attempts to surrender, but this is basically him faking it to buy time to summon more minions, which are dealt with via another Sleep/Entangle combo to avoid being overwhelmed.
It also bought enough time for Shepard to be un-held. Which means it's collar-grabbing time!
Mulahey and his minions fall. Monty bites it though.
Upon looting the scrolls he had in his treasure chest, Chapter 3 begins.
Let's look at those for a little bit of plot development!
Hmmmm....looks like this is part of a wider issue. Well, that just means more collars to grab! Time to find this Tazok fellow and give him a good Shepardizing!
This is Xan, the depressed Elven Enchanter. I guess clerics can heal any disease, restore life drain, and raise the dead but can't replicate prozac. I was going to take him along, but then I remembered he's an Enchanter and therefore sucks unbelievably. His opposition class is Evocation, which is usually remembered for stuff like Magic Missile and Fireball, but is also home to two of the best spells, Web and Stinking Cloud. He's dead weight as is.
Shepard is then awkwardly hit on by the mine foreman. He does not approve, but doesn't feel like fighting the entire Nashkel garrison. He leaves it be...for now.
A Dream! With this dream, Shepard receives another fast-cast Cure Light Wounds.
Shepard, while exploring around the mines exterior, runs into a hipster artist babbling some incomprehensible stuff. Except that bit about Greywolf...he recognized that name.
Greywolf shows up and demands to take Prism. Shepard protects Prism not because he like him (he doesn't) but because Greywolf is big, and must have big <s>guts</s> loot.
Greywolf is pretty beastly, especially at low level. He could likely take out an entire 1st or 2nd level party if you just try the lasso and click method.
However, he's alone and only a melee opponent. What does that mean?
If you guessed Entangle plus ranged weapons, you're absolutely right. However, it takes a few Entangle castings to get him, so a few people have to take some hits to buy time.
Greywolf dies.
Huh....this Ellesime chick sounds like one hell of a babe if just a look at her would cause a low-testosterone hipster to steal some emeralds and go on the run from Dog the Mullet Huntard...errr...Greywolf. Shepard would hate to see what would happen to someone who got rejected by her and was, well, less of a bitch. Good thing he'll never have to meet that type of person...
A quick trip to the Temple identifies Greywolf's sword as Varscona, a blade with some powerful magic on it inherited from the hatred of a priestess who was buried "sorta-alive" with it. It's a +2 weapon (that means it gives a +2 bonus to both damage and to-hit rolls) that does an additional point of cold damage on each hit. It's arguably the best one-handed sword in the game.
This means Shepard can now kick 326% more ass.
Time to get our reward for kobold extermination.
Some fruitcake who talks straight out of a ren-faire approaches Shepard and announces his intent to try and kill him. Time to test out the new toy.
This is Nimbul, another assassin sent to kill the player character. He's a bard, and a pretty high level one as he has access to a Lightning Bolt spell and quite a few level 2 mage spells.
He opens up with a Mirror Image, a la Tarnesh, then starts casting a Horror spell. He gets it off, but Jaheira responds with a Remove Fear spell.
His offensive magic kills Khalid, so Xzarina embraces her fursona to take up the fight, seeing as Sleep wasn't all that useful.
Some Amnish soldiers join in the fight, to help Shepard and crew out. But their bow attacks aren't too useful seeing as Nimbul is wearing Boots of Avoidance, enchante footwear that give the wearer a huge armor class bonus against missile weapons (-5 to your AC).
Eventually, Nimbul is overwhelmed.
Looks like he was hired directly by Tazok, as opposed to being just a generic bounty hunter. All the more reason to want to collar grab this Tazok guy.
Trade routes cleared of bandits huh? Bandito hunting time?
This is Noober, one of Bioware's...less endearing attempts at humor. He initiates dialogue with your character over and over, following them around and basically existing only to piss the player off. And if you attack him...the whole town goes hostile. Joy of fucking joys.
Shepard delivers some bad news to a widow...but knows that a real adventurer would cheer that widow up by getting to know her better...in the biblical sense.
And now for some random exploring!
Shepard and party go south of Nashkel, into the Cloudpeak Mountains, looking for stuff to brutally kill and strip of anything and everything valuable.
On their way, a half-ogre and his trained monkeys attack the party. They are beaten off faster than morning wood and the journey continues.
In the Cloudpeaks, Shepard and crew find a child who has lost his dog. This scene is so touching in an incredibly kitschy way that a nearby eagle lets out a single, large tear. Shepard knows he must help the boy like a true red-blooded patriot.
The boy gives him a strange chew toy...uhhhh I guess Faerun doesn't exactly have cute, squeeky plastic ones.....
Shepard and crew find the "dog", and it begins to follow them.
This moment, that oozes more kitsch than a Norman Rockwell painting, causes all the eagles in the mountain to shed a single tear....until....
Uhhhh....what the fuck just happened here?
The "boy" and his "dog" then teleport to who knows where. What the fuck was the point of all that?
Shepard scoffs at "the fastest dart thrower in the West".
What should be a simple bandit beatdown is complicated by a winter wolf jumping in the fray.
But not complicated enough for Shepard's might to smash through. Vax is turned into meaty chunks, and the party picks up a winter wolf pelt in addition to some nice bracers that give a decent (+2) to-hit bonus when using missile weapons.
Yeah...okay....this place vis just messed up. It's like a hodgepodge of dadaist encounters, each more warped than the last.
Finally someone normal....and by normal I mean a total bitch who needs to be put in her place.
Sendai is a well trained fighter with decent equipment. She has two very capable archers will her as well, both of whom can fire off arrows for a surprising amount of damage.
Luckily, Shepard is wearing both the Boots of Avoidance and the Girdle of Piercing, giving him a bonus of -8 to his armor class against arrows, on top of his already good armor class.
Sendai and her archers are entangled, and one of her archers gets hit by a Blindness spell to not only reduce his range of sight, but to give him large penalties both to his to-hit rolls and to his armor class. Now Shepard and crew can run up and smash the archer's faces in while Sendai can do nothing but sit back and watch.
After killing the archers, Sendai is given a bukkake by arrows. Surprisingly, her nice Studded Leather Armor +2 is totally intact. Sweet.
And that wraps it up for this area. Time to move on to another one.
On the way, Shepard's team is waylaid by an ogre mage and his cave bear companion. The ogre mage is entangled, but the bear is not, forcing the crew to melee it.
Shepard and crew come across a cave guarded by a big wolf. Inside are some potions...that again...are surprisingly well preserved and safe.
Shepard meets up with a Dryad, whose tree is being threatened. Shepard knows tree-hugging hippies don't like material posessions, but that people who don't like tree-huggers usually do, so it is therefore more economically advantageous to help the tree-hugger and loot the anti-hippies.
He calls this Shepard's Environmentalist Corollary ; that fighting for the good nature spirits who are usually completely broke is always more profitable than working for the aggressors because you get to kill the aggressors and take all their stuff, whereas working for them only nets you a fraction, assuming tree-hugging hippies are broke.
Uh oh. They guys don't seem like they have too much earning potential....oh well.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb may be fierce melee opponents, but a volley of Entangle and Sleep renders them helpless.
The Dryad thanks Shepard and actually gives him something of material value, albeit minor. We'll consider this...an outlier....
The good news is, one of the dumbies had a Girdle of Bluntness on. It's like the Girdle of Piercing Shepard has, only giving a +3 bonus to armor class against blunt weaponry.
Another dead winter wolf, another pelt, another gold. Fuck PETA, fur is in this season!
Shepard gets ready to rumble with some gnolls.
Though it looks like the other gnolls weren't so keen on following their leader to their death.
Shepard doesn't care what they think however.
You know, maybe people shouldn't be leaving their kids out in monster infested mountains where adventurers have to help them out. Besides the fact that the previous kid was some sort of demon, it's still kinda irresponsible. Maybe Shepard should call Faerunian Social Services on their asses....
Looks like the cat bought the farm. Maybe this will teach the kid to wander off into dangerous territory....
Or not. Looks like the cat really has nine lives. Freaking raise dead making kids act all tough and shit *grumble* *grumble*...well in my day, when my familiar died...I permanently lost constitution points and it was gone for good!
Now, the crew moves on to go commit an act of genocide against a bunch of little, blue men.
THIS. IS. SHEPAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!
Apparently the Shepardizing was so intense...the screenshot couldn't capture it.
Sleep and Entangle save the day, helping Shepard's crew hack through the blue masses.
The leader of the village gets homotional. Chill bro, I'm only brutally massacring your people, don't get worked up about it.
Xzarina stops using the Wand of Frost as an ironically named masturbatory aid, and uses it to damage that bear the village elder summoned.
In the back of the village, there's a cave with another bear inside and some nice magical loot including a Flail +1, a potion of fire resistance, and Bracers of Defense (these work like armor, except you wear them on your hands; great for mages).
The remaining Xvarts try one desperate last attack. It fails.
What have we learned from this? Genocide is fun, easy, and profitable. THank you Bioware for this wonderful moral message. And you thought Dragon Age was dark, gritty, and mature.
No, I don't think you get it. You're one guy with a bunch of magic items...like a pinata for greedy adventurers.
He does have a lot of magic resistance...which is funny, because it caused his mirror image to fail.
Eventually he is beaten down and looted. All the cursed items he would sell are on his corpse, but it's the short sword +1 and few safe potions that he got killed for.
Time to go back to Nashkel to sell things.
Cha-ching! I guess Winter Wolf pelts sell for so much because Faerun doesn't have a cute, defenseless, little creature that has snow white fur and exists in huge numbers.
Identify all the nice loot (even though I already know what it all is).
And time to head back out.
This area has ogre berserkers, nasty buggers who can dish out huge damage and have pretty good saving throws. That means Entangle doesn't always work so well.
Another ogre ambush happens, but also with some hobgoblin elites flanking. This one went much better, as one ogre was Entangled and the hobgoblins were put to sleep.
A nobleman wants Shepard to kill a big, white mountain bear. Easy as pie. It's all a matter a kiting (keeping at range, firing arrows, moving back, firing more arrows, a.n.) the poor thing. Bears in Faerun are far slower at max speed than a human in plate mail going at a brisk walk, which makes one wonder how they survive.
As a reward, Shepard gets some Boots of the North, which confer 50% cold resistance against the 5 enemies in the entire game who use cold-based attacks. Super useful!
Khalid is poisoned by a hobgoblin elite's poison arrows. These buggers are nasty, because they aren't arrows of biting, but scripted into the hobgoblin elite. They're less dangerous, but every arrow fired by the hobgoblin has this property, and you can't pick up anything but normal arrows.
Diplomacy....worked?
Well...it's far from diplomacy...but I'm pretty sure you can only pull that line off with a high charisma. That is to say, everyone can say it, but I think only higher charisma will let it work. Charisma is actually sorta useful in Baldur's Gate.
Jaheira i downed by Hobgoblin Elite's poison arrows before Xzarina can get her Sleep spell off to put the gobbys to sleep. As a bonus, it blocks the ogre berserker's path because one of the hobgoblins is in the way.
That made the rest of the battle a cinch.
Shepard meets a kindred soul. A paladin interested in killing things.
Shepardizing so EXTREME....MWSnap just couldn't handle it....
Shepard hopes so...he likes this girl's style.
Hmmmmmm.....yeah.....how about I preemptively grab the hell out of your big, fat collar? Oh wait...that's just your neck flab.
Another ogre berserker ambush. It's definitely time to go back to Nashkel, as the group has taken a licking.
Surprisingly, the journey is uneventful, and everyone gets patched up.
It's only after sleeping that some trouble happens. Xzarina and Montaron decide to start shit with Khalid and Jaheira.
All four of them are out of the control of the party, and they begin to fight each other.
See, Xzarina and Montaron are with the Zhentarim, an evil mafioso group on the Sword Coast. Khalid and Jaheira are Harpers, a (mostly) good aligned "vigilante" group throughout the Realms. Once they find out about each other (after a while in the party), it's like Hatfields/McCoys, Israelis/Palestinians, oil/water, Red Sox fans/Yankees fans, or people who drink a hefeweizen straight up/people who drink one with a lemon. That is to say, things get ugly...fast.
There are other party members who will come to blows with one another in BG1. Kagain and Yeslick don't get along, Eldoth and Garrick will fight over Skie, Shar-Teel will kill Eldoth, Faldorn and Jaheira don't see eye to eye, Tiax and Quayle loathe each other, and Kivan and Viconia can't get enough of each other...
Seeing as there was no sweet catfight between Xzarina and Jaheira going on, Shepard decided to end things quickly by joining with Khalid and Jaheira.
Oh, and they will continue to fight if you resurrect them, so it's good bye to them both.
Though one question remains...what to put on the tombstone...Xzar or Xzarina? She died as a woman, but reverted back to being a man after being dead and having the girdle removed.
Shepard just says "Fuck it" and dumps their bodies right outside the inn.
Welp....it's recruiting time. This guy can't be all that bad...
Seems like an interesting enough sort.
Next time.....we've run into the huge screenshot gap....so I'll have to think something up.
Chapter 3: Miner Inconvenience
When we last left Motherfucker Shepard, he had talked to the Mayor of Nashkel in a very EXTREME way and had agreed to clean out Nashkel's mines.
Don't mistake what Motherfucker Shepard for being some pansy move. This is just him saying that he wouldn't work for the pitiful sum of 200 gold. You can't even buy suit of plate for that.
Time to go to the carnival. One time, back in Candlekeep, the prophecy department told Shepard he would meet an incredibly annoying woman with severe emotional issues in a carnival area. Shepard grabs prophecy by the collar though and strides into the carnival unafraid.
One of the attractions is a mage with his ogre partner. The two had some falling out, and Shepard was caught in the middle. Bad choice for that ogre.
Plot development! Cernel Joson didn't listen when <s>Space Marine</s> Miner John told him about the demons, apparently.
A hostage situation! Shepard handles it with the grace and tact of a drunken silverback gorilla with a bad case of blue balls.
That is to say...he beat the ever-loving shit out of everything and raped it afterwards.
Bad idea.
Consider your collar grabbed by Master Spectre Motherfucker Shepard!
Shepard and crew leave the Nashkel Fair, and Shepard tells that prophecy to kiss his ass. Bullet dodged!
Now he must KILL THE DEMONS!
At the mine location, Shepard just finds a powerful Wand of Frost lying in this tree. I see bad ice related puns coming out of...cold storage.
It's like he was scripted to do exactly what the player character wanted him to do....
The miners are scared of the demons....but Shepard gotted his palsma sord and was ready to slashed the demons.
Miner Dink....his name is Miner Dink. Wow.....sucks to be him.
The demons were in the <s>base</s> mine.
Time for the dramatic reveal of our enemies.
Are they....
Tanar'ri, thirsting for the blood of innocent minors and hungering for chaos caused by disrupting the local economy?
Baatezu, hired by some infernal bargain for a devilish plot to help create an iron monopoly?
Yugoloths, serving as bodyguards for a terrible sorcerer?
The Pillar of Skulls set free?
Nope. Kobolds. Why can't commoners in Faerun bother reading a Monster Manual or something? I bet if they hadn't flipped out about demons, somebody already would have saved their asses. Plus...when demons really invade...nobody will believe them. And then they were a zombie.
Doom fanfic references are over now.
Still might make some Doom comic ones though.....
We deliver the dagger Miner Dink gave us to his friend.
Some kobolds block our path to the third level of the mines. They are summarily dispatched.
It's a good thing Motherfucker Shepard knew what this strange liquid was immediately upon picking it up. Elsewise he may have though it was some kobold moonshine and tried drinking it.
Hey look....a bottomless chasm....doesn't every dungeon have one of these?
What a convenient bridge over said chasm...
And here are the games (likely) first traps. If not disarmed, these shoot arrows at your characters for some decent damage.
You can't see it (yay glitches), but this spider is entangled, and easy pickings.
Shepard levels up, and decides to put more proficiency in slashy, slashy.
Lava! What's that doing here?
Besides that, this is an encounter with kobold commandos, who have a few arrows of fire in their inventory. They use these to good effect, and can seriously mess up unprotected party members.
Here are some more traps blocking the way to the fourth level of the dungeon.
More kobold commandos are fought and killed. The party rests up and gets ready to enter the ominous dome-like cave to face what is inside.
Well that was simple....
For a second there...yeah...I actually did think my dialogue options would matter.
Alright! Time for a boss fight!
This is Mulahey, a Half-Orc Cleric. I think he's about level 6 or 7, which means he has a decent arsenal of spells, moderate amount of combat ability, nice enough HP, and most importantly is immune to the sleep spell and has good enough saves to avoid Entangle.
He opens up the battle by summoning a bunch of skeletons and kobolds. Xzarina and Jaheira fire off an Entangle and Sleep combo to incapacitate them, while Khalid and Imoen deal with said foes. Shepard and Montaron go after Mulahey.
Mulahey has a few dangerous spells, namely Confusion and Hold Person. Confusion is like Neira's Rigid Thinking, except it can hit the whole party and with a save penalty. Luckily Shepad and Monty disrupt his casting. They aren't so lucky with one of his Hold spells though...
Mulahey still gets a beatdown despite holding Shepard and beating on him liberally. He attempts to surrender, but this is basically him faking it to buy time to summon more minions, which are dealt with via another Sleep/Entangle combo to avoid being overwhelmed.
It also bought enough time for Shepard to be un-held. Which means it's collar-grabbing time!
Mulahey and his minions fall. Monty bites it though.
Upon looting the scrolls he had in his treasure chest, Chapter 3 begins.
Let's look at those for a little bit of plot development!
Hmmmm....looks like this is part of a wider issue. Well, that just means more collars to grab! Time to find this Tazok fellow and give him a good Shepardizing!
This is Xan, the depressed Elven Enchanter. I guess clerics can heal any disease, restore life drain, and raise the dead but can't replicate prozac. I was going to take him along, but then I remembered he's an Enchanter and therefore sucks unbelievably. His opposition class is Evocation, which is usually remembered for stuff like Magic Missile and Fireball, but is also home to two of the best spells, Web and Stinking Cloud. He's dead weight as is.
Shepard is then awkwardly hit on by the mine foreman. He does not approve, but doesn't feel like fighting the entire Nashkel garrison. He leaves it be...for now.
A Dream! With this dream, Shepard receives another fast-cast Cure Light Wounds.
Shepard, while exploring around the mines exterior, runs into a hipster artist babbling some incomprehensible stuff. Except that bit about Greywolf...he recognized that name.
Greywolf shows up and demands to take Prism. Shepard protects Prism not because he like him (he doesn't) but because Greywolf is big, and must have big <s>guts</s> loot.
Greywolf is pretty beastly, especially at low level. He could likely take out an entire 1st or 2nd level party if you just try the lasso and click method.
However, he's alone and only a melee opponent. What does that mean?
If you guessed Entangle plus ranged weapons, you're absolutely right. However, it takes a few Entangle castings to get him, so a few people have to take some hits to buy time.
Greywolf dies.
Huh....this Ellesime chick sounds like one hell of a babe if just a look at her would cause a low-testosterone hipster to steal some emeralds and go on the run from Dog the Mullet Huntard...errr...Greywolf. Shepard would hate to see what would happen to someone who got rejected by her and was, well, less of a bitch. Good thing he'll never have to meet that type of person...
A quick trip to the Temple identifies Greywolf's sword as Varscona, a blade with some powerful magic on it inherited from the hatred of a priestess who was buried "sorta-alive" with it. It's a +2 weapon (that means it gives a +2 bonus to both damage and to-hit rolls) that does an additional point of cold damage on each hit. It's arguably the best one-handed sword in the game.
This means Shepard can now kick 326% more ass.
Time to get our reward for kobold extermination.
Some fruitcake who talks straight out of a ren-faire approaches Shepard and announces his intent to try and kill him. Time to test out the new toy.
This is Nimbul, another assassin sent to kill the player character. He's a bard, and a pretty high level one as he has access to a Lightning Bolt spell and quite a few level 2 mage spells.
He opens up with a Mirror Image, a la Tarnesh, then starts casting a Horror spell. He gets it off, but Jaheira responds with a Remove Fear spell.
His offensive magic kills Khalid, so Xzarina embraces her fursona to take up the fight, seeing as Sleep wasn't all that useful.
Some Amnish soldiers join in the fight, to help Shepard and crew out. But their bow attacks aren't too useful seeing as Nimbul is wearing Boots of Avoidance, enchante footwear that give the wearer a huge armor class bonus against missile weapons (-5 to your AC).
Eventually, Nimbul is overwhelmed.
Looks like he was hired directly by Tazok, as opposed to being just a generic bounty hunter. All the more reason to want to collar grab this Tazok guy.
Trade routes cleared of bandits huh? Bandito hunting time?
This is Noober, one of Bioware's...less endearing attempts at humor. He initiates dialogue with your character over and over, following them around and basically existing only to piss the player off. And if you attack him...the whole town goes hostile. Joy of fucking joys.
Shepard delivers some bad news to a widow...but knows that a real adventurer would cheer that widow up by getting to know her better...in the biblical sense.
And now for some random exploring!
Shepard and party go south of Nashkel, into the Cloudpeak Mountains, looking for stuff to brutally kill and strip of anything and everything valuable.
On their way, a half-ogre and his trained monkeys attack the party. They are beaten off faster than morning wood and the journey continues.
In the Cloudpeaks, Shepard and crew find a child who has lost his dog. This scene is so touching in an incredibly kitschy way that a nearby eagle lets out a single, large tear. Shepard knows he must help the boy like a true red-blooded patriot.
The boy gives him a strange chew toy...uhhhh I guess Faerun doesn't exactly have cute, squeeky plastic ones.....
Shepard and crew find the "dog", and it begins to follow them.
This moment, that oozes more kitsch than a Norman Rockwell painting, causes all the eagles in the mountain to shed a single tear....until....
Uhhhh....what the fuck just happened here?
The "boy" and his "dog" then teleport to who knows where. What the fuck was the point of all that?
Shepard scoffs at "the fastest dart thrower in the West".
What should be a simple bandit beatdown is complicated by a winter wolf jumping in the fray.
But not complicated enough for Shepard's might to smash through. Vax is turned into meaty chunks, and the party picks up a winter wolf pelt in addition to some nice bracers that give a decent (+2) to-hit bonus when using missile weapons.
Yeah...okay....this place vis just messed up. It's like a hodgepodge of dadaist encounters, each more warped than the last.
Finally someone normal....and by normal I mean a total bitch who needs to be put in her place.
Sendai is a well trained fighter with decent equipment. She has two very capable archers will her as well, both of whom can fire off arrows for a surprising amount of damage.
Luckily, Shepard is wearing both the Boots of Avoidance and the Girdle of Piercing, giving him a bonus of -8 to his armor class against arrows, on top of his already good armor class.
Sendai and her archers are entangled, and one of her archers gets hit by a Blindness spell to not only reduce his range of sight, but to give him large penalties both to his to-hit rolls and to his armor class. Now Shepard and crew can run up and smash the archer's faces in while Sendai can do nothing but sit back and watch.
After killing the archers, Sendai is given a bukkake by arrows. Surprisingly, her nice Studded Leather Armor +2 is totally intact. Sweet.
And that wraps it up for this area. Time to move on to another one.
On the way, Shepard's team is waylaid by an ogre mage and his cave bear companion. The ogre mage is entangled, but the bear is not, forcing the crew to melee it.
Shepard and crew come across a cave guarded by a big wolf. Inside are some potions...that again...are surprisingly well preserved and safe.
Shepard meets up with a Dryad, whose tree is being threatened. Shepard knows tree-hugging hippies don't like material posessions, but that people who don't like tree-huggers usually do, so it is therefore more economically advantageous to help the tree-hugger and loot the anti-hippies.
He calls this Shepard's Environmentalist Corollary ; that fighting for the good nature spirits who are usually completely broke is always more profitable than working for the aggressors because you get to kill the aggressors and take all their stuff, whereas working for them only nets you a fraction, assuming tree-hugging hippies are broke.
Uh oh. They guys don't seem like they have too much earning potential....oh well.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb may be fierce melee opponents, but a volley of Entangle and Sleep renders them helpless.
The Dryad thanks Shepard and actually gives him something of material value, albeit minor. We'll consider this...an outlier....
The good news is, one of the dumbies had a Girdle of Bluntness on. It's like the Girdle of Piercing Shepard has, only giving a +3 bonus to armor class against blunt weaponry.
Another dead winter wolf, another pelt, another gold. Fuck PETA, fur is in this season!
Shepard gets ready to rumble with some gnolls.
Though it looks like the other gnolls weren't so keen on following their leader to their death.
Shepard doesn't care what they think however.
You know, maybe people shouldn't be leaving their kids out in monster infested mountains where adventurers have to help them out. Besides the fact that the previous kid was some sort of demon, it's still kinda irresponsible. Maybe Shepard should call Faerunian Social Services on their asses....
Looks like the cat bought the farm. Maybe this will teach the kid to wander off into dangerous territory....
Or not. Looks like the cat really has nine lives. Freaking raise dead making kids act all tough and shit *grumble* *grumble*...well in my day, when my familiar died...I permanently lost constitution points and it was gone for good!
Now, the crew moves on to go commit an act of genocide against a bunch of little, blue men.
THIS. IS. SHEPAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!
Apparently the Shepardizing was so intense...the screenshot couldn't capture it.
Sleep and Entangle save the day, helping Shepard's crew hack through the blue masses.
The leader of the village gets homotional. Chill bro, I'm only brutally massacring your people, don't get worked up about it.
Xzarina stops using the Wand of Frost as an ironically named masturbatory aid, and uses it to damage that bear the village elder summoned.
In the back of the village, there's a cave with another bear inside and some nice magical loot including a Flail +1, a potion of fire resistance, and Bracers of Defense (these work like armor, except you wear them on your hands; great for mages).
The remaining Xvarts try one desperate last attack. It fails.
What have we learned from this? Genocide is fun, easy, and profitable. THank you Bioware for this wonderful moral message. And you thought Dragon Age was dark, gritty, and mature.
No, I don't think you get it. You're one guy with a bunch of magic items...like a pinata for greedy adventurers.
He does have a lot of magic resistance...which is funny, because it caused his mirror image to fail.
Eventually he is beaten down and looted. All the cursed items he would sell are on his corpse, but it's the short sword +1 and few safe potions that he got killed for.
Time to go back to Nashkel to sell things.
Cha-ching! I guess Winter Wolf pelts sell for so much because Faerun doesn't have a cute, defenseless, little creature that has snow white fur and exists in huge numbers.
Identify all the nice loot (even though I already know what it all is).
And time to head back out.
This area has ogre berserkers, nasty buggers who can dish out huge damage and have pretty good saving throws. That means Entangle doesn't always work so well.
Another ogre ambush happens, but also with some hobgoblin elites flanking. This one went much better, as one ogre was Entangled and the hobgoblins were put to sleep.
A nobleman wants Shepard to kill a big, white mountain bear. Easy as pie. It's all a matter a kiting (keeping at range, firing arrows, moving back, firing more arrows, a.n.) the poor thing. Bears in Faerun are far slower at max speed than a human in plate mail going at a brisk walk, which makes one wonder how they survive.
As a reward, Shepard gets some Boots of the North, which confer 50% cold resistance against the 5 enemies in the entire game who use cold-based attacks. Super useful!
Khalid is poisoned by a hobgoblin elite's poison arrows. These buggers are nasty, because they aren't arrows of biting, but scripted into the hobgoblin elite. They're less dangerous, but every arrow fired by the hobgoblin has this property, and you can't pick up anything but normal arrows.
Diplomacy....worked?
Well...it's far from diplomacy...but I'm pretty sure you can only pull that line off with a high charisma. That is to say, everyone can say it, but I think only higher charisma will let it work. Charisma is actually sorta useful in Baldur's Gate.
Jaheira i downed by Hobgoblin Elite's poison arrows before Xzarina can get her Sleep spell off to put the gobbys to sleep. As a bonus, it blocks the ogre berserker's path because one of the hobgoblins is in the way.
That made the rest of the battle a cinch.
Shepard meets a kindred soul. A paladin interested in killing things.
Shepardizing so EXTREME....MWSnap just couldn't handle it....
Shepard hopes so...he likes this girl's style.
Hmmmmmm.....yeah.....how about I preemptively grab the hell out of your big, fat collar? Oh wait...that's just your neck flab.
Another ogre berserker ambush. It's definitely time to go back to Nashkel, as the group has taken a licking.
Surprisingly, the journey is uneventful, and everyone gets patched up.
It's only after sleeping that some trouble happens. Xzarina and Montaron decide to start shit with Khalid and Jaheira.
All four of them are out of the control of the party, and they begin to fight each other.
See, Xzarina and Montaron are with the Zhentarim, an evil mafioso group on the Sword Coast. Khalid and Jaheira are Harpers, a (mostly) good aligned "vigilante" group throughout the Realms. Once they find out about each other (after a while in the party), it's like Hatfields/McCoys, Israelis/Palestinians, oil/water, Red Sox fans/Yankees fans, or people who drink a hefeweizen straight up/people who drink one with a lemon. That is to say, things get ugly...fast.
There are other party members who will come to blows with one another in BG1. Kagain and Yeslick don't get along, Eldoth and Garrick will fight over Skie, Shar-Teel will kill Eldoth, Faldorn and Jaheira don't see eye to eye, Tiax and Quayle loathe each other, and Kivan and Viconia can't get enough of each other...
Seeing as there was no sweet catfight between Xzarina and Jaheira going on, Shepard decided to end things quickly by joining with Khalid and Jaheira.
Oh, and they will continue to fight if you resurrect them, so it's good bye to them both.
Though one question remains...what to put on the tombstone...Xzar or Xzarina? She died as a woman, but reverted back to being a man after being dead and having the girdle removed.
Shepard just says "Fuck it" and dumps their bodies right outside the inn.
Welp....it's recruiting time. This guy can't be all that bad...
Seems like an interesting enough sort.
Next time.....we've run into the huge screenshot gap....so I'll have to think something up.
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