Watch me play a shitty game (Fallout 3) (COMPLETED!!)

[Hoaxmetal]

Yeah, she has a personality and she's one of few characters from F3 which I remember but that doesn't mean anything good either.

 

[Volrath]

Fuck, I thought we would have gotten a new update seeing as how we're on page 9.

:tearofdisappointment:

 

[DriacKin]

Part 7 – How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

What the hell? This whole town is fucking inane. Seriously, there’s not a single normal person here.

We could blow it up like that dude suggested.

I’m starting to agree with him. This town is devoid of any value. LET’S BLOW IT UP!!

The bomb needed an explosive skill of at least 25 in order to rig it. I had to use some Mentats (one of the drugs in this game) to get my explosive level up to 25.

This description is lying. You need an explosive skill of atleast 25 to disarm or rig the bomb. They require the exact same level of expertise in explosives.

Insert ‘Sombody set us up the bomb’ joke here.

OK. That’s done. You know what I kinda wanna do now?

?

I wanna go up to the sheriff dude and gloat in front of his face about how we’re about to blow up his town. :twisted:

Nope. The game doesn’t let us. No new dialogue options with him.

Well, in that case, can we atleast break into his house and steal all of his shit?

That we can do.

Let’s go!!

This is the door to his house. We make sure we’re hidden so nobody sees us break in.

This is Lucas Simm’s House

This place is almost completely empty. There’s practically nothing to steal.

Umm... maybe there’s some stuff upstairs?

Here’s the only thing of value that we find inside the house: another bobblehead doll.

According to Fallout 3, dolls aren’t for girls; they’re actually for big strong men who want to get stronger.

That was fucking unsatisfying. I just want to humiliate this guy. Why won’t the game let me do this?

Why do you hate this guy so much? What did he do to you?

He’s the mayor and sheriff of this town, right?

Yeah.

Well, he’s supposed to be the one in charge here. Therefore, I hold him personally responsible for the moronic bastion of stupidity that this place has become.

Well... we could just shoot him in the face and kill him?

:D

Note how our crosshair intersects his face. We pull the trigger and kill him.

Then, we loot his body and take his stuff.

That seemed to anger the rest of town. They’re all attacking us now.

Whatever. Let’s just get outta here. We’re done with this place forever.

OK. Mr. Burke said he’d meet us in Tenpenny Tower, right?

FACT: This is the map screen. The little triangle represents where we currently are.

Wow, that seems like it’s pretty far away.

Nah. Don’t worry. It’ll only take like 2-3 minutes or so on foot.

On the journey there, we meet all sorts of fantastic creatures:

Giant Bee!!

Giant Rat!!

Gian... umm, rather... Regular sized dog!!

Anyway, we keep travelling until we find a deserted city.

In the city, we find an intact mailbox that we can loot.

These are the contents of the mailbox.

Why the fuck is there a mug inside a mailbox? Seriously, who the fuck put it there?

I agree. That was kinda stupid.

I mean, Is there really somebody out there who doesn’t have anything better to do than go to deserted towns and put stupid shit inside the mailboxes?

You done whining yet?

Yeah.

You complain too much.

We finally arrive at (the incredibly phallic) Tenpenny Tower.

As we approach the entrance, we watch as a ghoul argues with the security guard, via intercom:

Apparently, Tenpenny Tower is a pretty nice place to live. Therefore, the ghoul wants to make his residence here.

Allistair Tenpenny is the dude who owns Tenpenny Tower.

This dude’s almost as whiny as DriacKin. How long are they gonna keep arguing?

After some more arguing, the ghoul decides to give up and leave. I tried to talk to the ghoul, but the game wouldn’t let me.

Now that the ghoul has left, we can finally talk to the security guard and ask him to let us in.

He initially mistakes us for the ghoul.

Hey, who you calling a ghoul? I ain’t no damn zombie!

Umm... I’m kinda here on business. Some creepy dude named Mr. Burke told me to meet him here.

The security guard lets us in.

Tenpenny Tower looks like it used to be a luxury hotel. This is the lobby.

This place looks nice! Way better than that shithole Megaton.

Well, we haven’t met any of the residents yet. They might be just as inane as the ones in Megaton.

Why you have to be so pessimistic?

Whatever. Let’s just blow up Megaton first. We can meet the folks after that.

We take the elevator upstairs to Mr. Tenpenny’s penthouse suite. The security guard tells us to meet him on the balcony.

We head up to the balcony. Up here, we find Mr. Burke and Allistair Tenpenny.

He’s asking us about his “fine tower”? Is that supposed to be some dick joke?

Umm... I guess it’s nice. Anyway, you the guy that hired Mr. Burke?

He’s “an absolute gem of a man”? Is that supposed to be some gay joke?

So... you’re the guy who wants to blow up Megaton, right? Don’t you have a problem with killing all those people?

I totally agree. Those dudes were fuckin’ psychos.

So... why you hate Megaton? Why you wanna blow it up?

FACT: This is the only explanation he gives us. Bethesda couldn’t be bothered to write any “real” motivations for wanting to destroy the city.

What the hell is this bullshit? At least I had a real reason for wanting to use the nukes.

This is what happens when you let the damn commies infect our precious bodily fluids. You get morons like this guy.

Who the hell was that?

I’m not sure, but I think he’s gone now... Although, I kinda agree with that guy. Mr. Tenpenny seems just as inane as the guys from Megaton.

Whatever. Let’s just talk to Mr. Burke and blow up the town.

FACT: Saying ‘Excellent’ twice increases the level of excellence.

Conveniently, this balcony overlooks Megaton, so we can see the explosion from here.

We have to flip this switch to detonate the bomb.

EXPLOSION!! :D :twisted:

EXPLOSION!! :D :twisted:

EXPLOSION!! :D :twisted:

EXPLOSION!! :D :twisted:

EXPLOSION!! :D :twisted:

EXPLOSION!! :D :twisted:

EXPLOSION!! :D :twisted:

Explosion over?

Destroying a city gives us a huge karma hit and makes us “Very Evil”

:twisted:

Anyway, let’s talk to our friends and see if they enjoyed it as much as we did. Here’s what Mr. Tenpenny thinks:

And, here’s what Mr. Burke thinks:

EXPLOSION!! :D :twisted:

He also gives us 500 bottle caps for a reward.

We get a house?!

We’ll check that out in a minute. But first, let’s head back to Megaton and take a look at the carnage.

Here’s what’s left of Megaton. The air is very foggy because of the recent explosion.

We’re basking in the glory of our accomplishments when we meet:

Moira! Why are you still alive?!!

We blew up your town! That’s what happened.

She’s telling *us* that *we* talk crazy?

:facepalm:

Not really.

Well, I guess I’ll just roam around until I find somewhere to stay. This’ll be fun. :D


End of part 7.

There’s a bunch of people inside Tenpenny Tower. I ignored most of them in this update. We’ll talk to some of these residents in the next update. We’ll also visit our new suite that we just received from Mr. Tenpenny.

Also, I hope you people got the Strangelove reference :D

 

[MetalCraze]

I remember how Bethesda hyped some crap about how you won't be able to do Megaton quests or even enter it until you'll do a bomb quest which should've supposedly lock one thing from you and open another.

What the fuck are they doing to the Vault-boy art?

FUCKING HELL
You just blew the whole town and she... and she...
Bethesda is improving lulz!

 

[KickAss]

man, this is great... its so much more fun than actually playing it!

 

[Hoaxmetal]

Uh, damm, I mean - come on! I thought that "Moira stays after explosion" was just lulz talk. Truly, I thought that Beth aren't that lame, not this :shock:

 

[Brother None]

Yeah, the Moira thing...let's just say it annoyed me so much I reloaded that moment 6 times just to shoot her over and over. Goddamn that's some lame shit, and no joking.

And the lack of explanation for Megaton blowy-uppy, as well as for nobody ever disarming the bomb before...
...?

I remember how Bethesda hyped some crap about how you won't be able to do Megaton quests or even enter it until you'll do a bomb quest which should've supposedly lock one thing from you and open another.

You mean Tenpenny Tower? Yeah, early PR said it'd be locked off, and blowing up Megaton opens up a unique locations. Dria didn't show it obv, but if you don't blow up Megaton, you can just bribe the guard to enter, and use the location as you always would.

Obviously, there's a quest in there that has an achievement tied to it, CAN'T LOCK OF THOSE. It's one of the better quests, tho', especially if you try to pussy-foot your way out of it.

 

[Volkens]

Do world a favor and kill that Moira thing. Nobody that stupid should be allowed to live. Make it painful.

 

[entertainer]

Hey, it's a mature game.

 

[Jaesun]

Awesome. So satisfying seeing that place blown up.

And I *honestly* thought you were joking that Moira survives the blast. :epic picard facepalm: Bethesda is improving, indeed.

But oh noes! You now have such NEGATIVE KARMA! YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE CONSEQUENCE FOR SUCH ACTIONS!!! Since there could not POSSIBLY be any easy exploitable way to raise your karma up.....

Oh wait... carry on. :wink:

 

[fastpunk]

Tenpenny Tower is about as far as I got in my recent attempt at an FO3 playthrough. Yeah, I actually gave it a shot. I just gave up after blowing up Megaton, got disgusted of how inane the whole thing was. But the most painful part was by far the Vault, I've yet to play a game that packs so much cringe-worthy dialogue into such a small portion. And the combat... Jesus Christ! I don't understand how some people can actually take this game seriously, let alone say that it's a true sequel to Fallout, or a good game even. To put it like skyway: "It's shit!".

 

[Lonely Vazdru]

Excellent ! Excellent !

 

[DriacKin]

Do world a favor and kill that Moira thing. Nobody that stupid should be allowed to live. Make it painful.

Seriously. Moira Brown makes Jar Jar seem charismatic.

 

[Carceri]

Here’s what’s left of Megaton. The air is very foggy because of the recent explosion.

Heh, you were able to just walk in there...but...but what about the radiation? You know, like in nuclear explosion, huh?

 

[Brother None]

Heh, you were able to just walk in there...but...but what about the radiation? You know, like in nuclear explosion, huh?

Yeah...Bethesda's not too good with the whole radiation thing. If memory serves, Megaton is only radiated if you get really, really close to it. Otherwise the logic is:

1. Food and water? Radiated.
2. Standing in water? Radiated.
3. Getting too close to Fatman nuclear explosions or cars exploding? Radiated.
4. Residual radiation from said nuclear explosions? None. In fact, I dunno if they patched this but in the original release, FIRE DOESN'T BURN. You can explode a car, wait a few seconds for the radiation to die down and jump on it. What the fuck is going on here?
5. The White House, hit by a tactical nuke 200 years ago? Yah, still irradiated.
6. Vault 87's entrance, whose nuclear spill was apparently pre-war (or was it bombed? I dunno, then why'd the sign be there?) has the highest radiation level in the game, killing you at ground zero in 1/3rd of a second (+3000 rads/s), significantly higher than the White House. Significantly higher than a live nuclear explosion. NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE.

 

[Jaesun]

...NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE.

This is the key to understanding Fallout 3.

 

[Ovplain]

Tenpenny Tower is about as far as I got in my recent attempt at an FO3 playthrough. Yeah, I actually gave it a shot. I just gave up after blowing up Megaton, got disgusted of how inane the whole thing was. But the most painful part was by far the Vault, I've yet to play a game that packs so much cringe-worthy dialogue into such a small portion. And the combat... Jesus Christ! I don't understand how some people can actually take this game seriously, let alone say that it's a true sequel to Fallout, or a good game even. To put it like skyway: "It's shit!".

Same here. I simply could not force myself to keep playing after that crap. I spoke to every person in Megaton and was shocked by the level of stupid. The only thing I wanted to do then was just to blow that gaggle of retards the fuck up and be done with this POS game.

 

[Pliskin]

Yeah, the Moira thing...let's just say it annoyed me so much I reloaded that moment 6 times just to shoot her over and over. Goddamn that's some lame shit, and no joking.

And the lack of explanation for Megaton blowy-uppy, as well as for nobody ever disarming the bomb before...
...?

Hey, it takes somebody with a high level of edumification to be able to defuse an atomic weapon (that's been rusting in a puddle for 200 years). You know --- somebody like YOU, because you are the smartest, bestest person in the whole Wasteland! Yes you are!

A skill of 25? That's equivalent to "do I snip the blue wire or the red wire"? Ohhh, challenging! You want C&C? How about making a skill-check failure cause the bomb to go off in yr face? (You know, assuming there actually are any skill checks in this game). Then the player could come back as a ghoul... Naw! That would ruin the main reason most people play Fallout3: Playing dress-up with their virtual dolly. And who want's an ugly dolly? It might effect the player's self-esteem. Can't have that in a Bethesduh game.

 

[Carceri]

FIRE DOESN'T BURN.
What the fuck is going on here?

:D
Fallout 3 is such a deep game that normal fire turned into spiritual fire. Spiritual fire doesn't burn. Only people who show penance and are devoted to Saint Constantine may experience this stuff.

 

[jagged-jimmy]

Wow, i thought that at least some of the hate is crazy talk, but wow, thats game is really lame.

 

[Jaesun]

Wow, i thought that at least some of the hate is crazy talk, but wow, thats game is really lame.

You have not even seen the worst of it yet. Stay tuned...

 

[Gay-Lussac]

Wow, i thought that at least some of the hate is crazy talk, but wow, thats game is really lame.

You have not even seen the worst of it yet. Stay tuned...

You mean you actually played through all of it?!

 

[DefJam101]

This is fucking disgusting.

My LP or the game?

The game.

But reading the LP is like watching that show called Dirty Jobs.

 

[Brother None]

You mean you actually played through all of it?!

I did too. It has its moments which are quite nice spread throughout. They might be hard to translate to an LP, but they're there.

Most of it's not very good, tho', and the writing is pretty consistently bad, sometimes raising up to mediocre. The voice acting just makes it worse, as a rule.

If this LP goes to the end, and I doubt it will, I do hope we're brought through what I consider the Worst Dialogue in An RPG EVER. And I do not say that lightly.

 

[Gay-Lussac]

You mean you actually played through all of it?!

I did too. It has its moments which are quite nice spread throughout. They might be hard to translate to an LP, but they're there.

Most of it's not very good, tho', and the writing is pretty consistently bad, sometimes raising up to mediocre. The voice acting just makes it worse, as a rule.

If this LP goes to the end, and I doubt it will, I do hope we're brought through what I consider the Worst Dialogue in An RPG EVER. And I do not say that lightly.

I played through to destroying megaton and doing some other sidequests. It was fairly entertaining. It just got boring, after a while I just didn't feel like playing anymore.