What game are you wasting time on?

[iqzulk]

I have never managed to finish it. I always get bored at some point through it and jump ship. This time does not look as it is going to be any different. I am at the alchemist's floating castle and I just can't give enough fucks to continue the game.

Look at it this way: if you DO complete the game this time, you won't need to go back to it ever, EVER again. It will be over and done with. For realz and for all eternity. If you drop it this time as well, you'll just go back to it in a year or two. Again. Do you really want that? Guessed so.

Also, Andrew Plotkin has a pretty good review of this game (he has a lot of good reviews - it's a pity I could never get into any of his famed interactive fiction adventures).

Overall, TLJ is just a kind of game that
1) was created by total amateurs in the genre and written by a writer who got significantly better at his job (although still meh) somewhat later
2) requires you to literally be ~14yo when you play it the first time in order to really get into it (and all the stupidity) - and yes, I'm bloody serious, this game really has a thing about scoring with a lot of teenagers somehow
3) frequently gets OMG10/10'ed for the sheer quantity of content (over its quality): like, there is a LOT of writing (with all the dialogues fully voiced - I wonder how many hours of spoken speech is there overall) and a LOT of plot (again, the quality of it, as well as the writing, is another issue altogether) and a LOT of screens to wander about and a LOT of meticulously modeled nooks and crannies (some of the screens are choke-full of that despite having not-so-many actual hotspots - also, abysmal ground/asphalt textures are abysmal) on those screens (needless to say that, say, Riven, absolutely destroys TLJ in the last two regards) and a LOT of custom animations (like the entirely optional hopscotch game, for example) and a LOT of hours needed to complete it (especially that everything is so. unbearably. slow!). In other words, for a person who didn't play a lot of adventure games before, all that megalomania looked really solid. And impressive. And like a potential OMG GOTY material. And if the second thing from this list (the one about the age and corresponding mental state - or if the person somehow managed to really connect to all the game's naivete otherwise) also made a score - then there you have it. An avid fan, believing the game to be a godsend from heaven and TEH BEST ADVENTURE EVER MADE.

By the way, Dreamfall totally has at least somewhat better writing. At least it really does sound like two actual believable persons talking to each other a lot of the times.

 

[Gurkog]

I tried playing TLJ last year and could barely make it 10 min into the game before remembering how stupid and boring adventure games are. The main character had no personality hook to get me, and her voice was truly grating on my ears. The only decent aspect of the game was the art direction... I do not play games just to look at pretty pictures.

 

[J_C]

I am trying to play through The Longest Journey. I have never managed to finish it. I always get bored at some point through it and jump ship. This time does not look as it is going to be any different. I am at the alchemist's floating castle and I just can't give enough fucks to continue the game. The puzzles are crap, everyone talks a bloody lot, the writing is not that good, and the main 'stark' characters are a bunch of hipsters. And April is a bloody idiot. Good lord. People has been dealing with insecurity since the beginning of time, no wise mole spirits needed. And for quite a while she seems to have this dark and cruel past that has really traumatized her and shit, only then you discover her big 'trauma' and shit was that her family kept her in a short leash. HOW FUCKING TERRIBLE, GURL! THAT'S SOME REALLY DARK SHIT IN YOUR PAST! Go fuck yourself and die.

And she has no bloody fashion sense. None, at all. Zero.

Anyway, so far the only hard puzzle that hasn't been completely retarded (rubber ducky puzzle, ugh... Do the monkey puzzle, emh... Monkey eye puzzle, blergh... Coke can puzzle, are you stupid?) was the screwdriver one, and that's just because I rarely examine objects because the less April I have to listen to the better so I did not knew the screwdriver was magnetic. Stark is suposed to be the world of reason and logic, yet none of the puzzles makes the least sense outside of 'adventure game logic' and none of the situations makes the least sense outside of 'it's a game!' If you want to present a world of logic and a world of chaos how about, you know, making the puzzles and situations match? Oh, and 'Bad guy is obviously evil! He gives off those really strong Hitler vibes!' Argumentum Ad Hitlerium = Good writing. Fuck off.

Oh, and the only way to advance the story past a certain point? FALL IN THE MOST OBVIOUS TRAP EVER! Gee, this creepy old lady who talks like a monsters and talks about being alone in the goods picking bones, oops, berries wants me to take her home? WHAT COULD GO WRONG! OOPS, NOW I AM TRAPPED AND GOING TO BE EATEN BUT I WILL KILL THE EVIL MONSTER WITH HOTSPOT MAGICK AND BE A HEROINE! No, you are a fucking moron gurl. Go kill yourself.

And by the way, if you are going to make up a famous poet to quote in your books hire someone who CAN WRITE POETRY to write his shit. Because, really, I have seen better shit read by hipster bohemian poets in hipster bohemian coffee houses. Also, whomever did write those books in the magic world library can't write for shit.

Whiny and pathetic main character, hipters morons everywhere, terrible characterization (OH LOL MY SPECIES EXIST OUTSIDE TIME SO I WILL TELL YOU HOW DIFFERENT MY PERCEPTION OF TIME IS IN EVERY SINGLE LINE I SPEAK! AIN'T I FUCKING ALIEN NAO?), stupid puzzles, who-wrote-this-shit dialogues... I hope this will do a one hundred percent turn somewhere down the line and become TOTALLY AWESOME because otherwise the adventure game community who goes OHMYGOD THE LONGEST JOURNEY IS THE BEST ADVENTURE GAME EVER is so full of shit it's not even funny.

And people shout decline at me... While tryhards like you run amok on the codex. What next, someone says that Fallout 1 and System Shock 2 is not that good? .... Oh...wait.....

Anyway, your opinion boils down to picking random parts of the game, and shouting TROLOLOL THIS IS SO SHITTY. It is like: And the characters in Planescape Torment is so shit OH LOOK I AM A FLYING SKULL, HOW RETARDED IS THIS, AND WHAT IS THAT TIEFLING GIRL, IS SHE LIKE A RAT, OR WAHT? And don't get me started about the story AMNESIA, REALLY, IT IS THE BIGGEST CLICHE IN THE WORLD, AND THE MAIN CHARACTER HAS NO PERSONALITY AT ALL. 0/10

 

[DalekFlay]

Still planning to continue this Witcher 2 replay, but giving in and installing GTA4 today in response to GTA5 hype. Never played Lost and Damned so this seems like the time.

 

[Cool name]

I could've sworn there was a rubber glove involved there, but it's been a while since I played.

The rubber glove is used later to pull a different live wire to enter the cinema. And there is a single rubber glove, so she can't really tie a live wire to a golden ring with it. I had it in my inventory, I believe, but I don't think I did repair it yet and there was no need to 'use' it nor mention about using it, either. All the puzzle did involve was click on ring, click on wires, and then the machine lits up.

Also, looking forward to your Dreamfall impressions should you ever decide to play it.

I already did. I am also, like, totally expecting the new one.

I did actually enjoy it far more than I did 'enjoy' TLJ thus far. At least the setting and the mood were consistent. There were no rubber duckies, an no do the monkey, and no explosive coke cans, and no monkey eye puzzle, etc. It may not have been brilliant but it wasn't bad at all and it didn't constantly sabotage it's own storyline and mood with random shit.

I don't really know what to think about TLJ. Is it dumb random fun ala Deponia? But everyone takes himself or herself way too seriously for that. Is it a story I am expected to take seriously, then? But... Rubber duckies, do the monkeys, explosive coke cans. I am expected to take April seriously? But she's a girl my age going alone to the worst place in town and then breaking into the police station in a setting in which it has been established the police are gigantic assholes. So I am not expected to take her seriously and instead see her as some wish fulfilment fantasy? But on and on she goes about her past and her stress and whineeeeeees like there is no tomorrow over totally inane shit. And I am expected to take the setting seriously? Obviously not, yet on they go about how corrupt and brutal corporations are, and how the villain is so totally Hitler-like, and... WTF am I playing, again? One moment I am expected to believe April is this strong girl who will save the universe, the next moment she is falling into a trap so obvious a five years old would have seen it coming from miles away. And then she's talking about how she did only do what anyone would have done... What, be a total retard? Because she was actually surprised and scared when she fell into the trap and she had no bleeping plan, so she obviously wasn't playing the monster's trick to her advantage. The monster wasn't even present when she started to panic, so she obviously wasn't playing a trick on it. One moment I am being told of people sold to the off world colonies in slavery, the next I am breaking into a police station's server by pulling childish pranks. One moment it tries to be mature and hip (and tries so very hard...) the next it is ridiculously infantile.

In a way it feels quite a lot like those young adult novels for girls I did read once or twice when I was smallish: A confused countercultural girl who doesn't fit in with the superficial plastic bitches and doesn't know what to do with her life discovers she's not really a loser but someone very special (tm) with a rare power that allows her to travel to another world, a grand destiny to save the universe, etc. Along the way she discovers who she really is, shows everyone how witty and smart and real she is, and everyone loves her and gives her very special (tm) names. Fuck, she even has a magickal talking animal and a seer who just happens to run the inn she did end up in during her second 'shift' already told her she has the talent to become the strongest and rarest kind of wizard! It's like young adult's urban fantasy 101 in there: The faux hipster shit (True Art is dis not dat! Old movies are real and legit and street! We are all so countercultural and real and alive!), how everyone loves the main character for no particular reason, how she comes with completely retarded plans that outwit everyone. The only thingie it is lacking is the hot werewolf, hot vampire, hot wizard, hot fairy prince, or hot (insert your favorite fantasy dood here) that falls for her even she has no personality at all to speak of.

I guess it is a case of anti-hype. For years I have heard about how this game had an incredible good and touching storyline, an incredible deep and relatable main character, and so much magic and charm and characterization and shit. Then I play it and... brutally underwhelmed. I was expecting, I don't know, MORE from something everyone talks about as if it were the crown jewel of the adventure genre.

2) requires you to literally be ~14yo when you play it the first time in order to really get into it (and all the stupidity) - and yes, I'm bloody serious, this game really has a thing about scoring with a lot of teenagers somehow

I am getting that impression as well. As I wrote just above it does really follow the 'teen/young adult girl's story' formula other than the rough sex with hot werewolves. Maybe I would have loved it back when I was totally into those stuffies and back when I thought 'My dad's really strict!' to be a world shattering development that would require years of therapy and the help of a few wise dead moles. Now I just find myself wanting for the shit she tries to pull to actually blow up in her face to accelerate her character development to 'not SUICIDALLY STUPID.'

Anyway, your opinion boils down to picking random parts of the game, and shouting TROLOLOL THIS IS SO SHITTY. It is like: And the characters in Planescape Torment is so shit OH LOOK I AM A FLYING SKULL, HOW RETARDED IS THIS, AND WHAT IS THAT TIEFLING GIRL, IS SHE LIKE A RAT, OR WAHT? And don't get me started about the story AMNESIA, REALLY, IT IS THE BIGGEST CLICHE IN THE WORLD, AND THE MAIN CHARACTER HAS NO PERSONALITY AT ALL. 0/10

Uhm... No? As I said I am in Ruper Klacks or something's castle. So the thingies that didn't work for me so far were, say... All the main thingies that did happen so far? Pretty much, yeah. Also, I am not writing a fucking review. I am talking about the game I am playing in a thread about the games we are playing. Do you like the game? Good for you. Do I think you are an idiot because of it? Not really. But I don't really like it and think it is flawed as fuck. Deal with it.

Also,

 

[Gurkog]

My 2nd multiplayer match in Blood Bowl ended with my team suffering 2 deaths 4 injuries that knock them out of the next game, and 6 minor injuries. I had 1 guy on the field at the end. At least the final score was only 2-0.

 

[iqzulk]

Seriously, Marathon 2 is fucking infuriating. It's like the game's constantly running after me with an Aphex Twin's smile and a giant barbed wire dildo which it repeatedly tries to stick all the way up my behind on every single even remotely "convenient" occasion (and a couple of completely random ones in between). Moreover, it seems like Greg Kickpatrick's levels are guilty of the "SUDDELNY A DOZEN OF S'PHT FROM EVERY DIRECTION! YOU ARE DEAD LOLOLOLOLZ! WELCOME BACK TO A CHECKPOINT HURRRRR THAT WAS 10 MUINUTES AGO DURRRR!" crap as much as Jason Jones' ones. First that slaughterhouse "If I Had a Rocket Launcher, I'd Make Somebody Pay!" level (also known as "Bob-B-Q: Enhanced Edition - now with even more coils!"), now - this "For Carnage, Apply Within" bullshit (by the way, Jones' level in between of those two - "Sorry Don't Make It So" - was probably the coolest one yet from an artistic standpoint, despite being derivative; even though that Benny Hill simulation near its end was the perfect example of that metaphorical giant barbed wire dildo I was talking about a bit earlier). And to think that it started so mildly and adventur-y, I actually thought that the whole game would be like that and that all the infuriating shit was left in the first game...

Anyways, that's certainly enough of Marathon 2 for today. Progress made: 0 (zero).

 

[spekkio]

After finishing main campaign of Dishonored I decided to switch to something more popamole.
I thought Bioshock 2 would be appropriate - I completed the 1st game when it was released and hated it I don't give enough fucks to hate games anymore. But since I've heard Bioshit2 was improved in some aspects...

Pros:
- ???

Cons:
- The game requires way too much additional shit to run: it installs Net Framework 3.5, GfW client + redistributable and Visual C++ redistributables. Such things irritate me, since in 99% of cases the game will be shit (devs depend too much on external software, which leads to stability problems),
- Non-removed 1.5 version crashed: 1) in menus 2) during intro movie 3) during first minute of the gameplay; Googled the problem and it looks like it's not related to crack, but the game itself - Steam forums are full of threads describing different ways the game can crash and possible solutions (not working for most posters),
- You play as Big Daddy. Well... I don't want to play as a fucking big daddy.
- Graphics look as fake as in Bioshock 1 (blood, surfaces, models) gameplay is the same (initial ~10 minutes, that was the maximal period I was able to keep playing before the inevitable crash),

tl;dr



Thanks to that I decided to delete both Bioshock games from my HDD (14 GB freed) and skip Bioshock-Infinite entirely (x GB torrent).
Well, that's another battle won for the developers / publishers - Your shit is so bad that I'm not even gonna pirate it in the future. You have my word.

 

[Cool name]

Cons:
- The game requires way too much additional shit to run: it installs Net Framework 3.5, GfW client + redistributable and Visual C++ redistributables. Such things irritate me, since in 99% of cases the game will be shit (devs depend too much on external software, which leads to stability problems),

Don't, like, all modern games require that bleep?

I can't remember the last time I did install something new that did not prompt me to install four different stuffies right after the game.

 

[spekkio]

Well, Dishonored did not install anything (it requires only Directx and C++ AFAIR) which made me all:



Recently I noticed that my tolerance to shit went down. In the past I was keeping games / movies / music I didn't like at first to... Dunno - give them second chance? Now it's just DEL and GTFO.

 

[Blonsky]

Im playing FarCry 2, around 62% of the story done so far, its not really what i expected from it.
I remember the first FarCry as a game in which i would start mission on this huge map and i could see everything on it, there was the sea filled with boats, the coast with enemy patrols and the jungle with who knows what inside, and i could choose the way i want to go by the equipement i had or just by what looked fun.
In FarCry 2 alot of this is missing, it has an open world but its the worst kind of an open world, 75% of the world is made of narrow paths with cliffs on both sides and enemy patrols going through them or enemy checkpoints on them, so stealth is not often an option, driving a vehicle means you will have to dump it or switch it after the first check point and attacking every enemy patrol or checkpoint gets really boring after awhile mostly because while doing missions you will go through the same checkpoint 3-4 times just to pass it on the way to the mission waypoint.
The game fells like they sacrificied alot of freedom of movement and planing of attacks for rushing into the enemy and making decision what to do when in the middle of the fight your gun explodes or enemy patrol drives in with a truck with a mounted machine gun on it.

 

[DeepOcean]

After finishing main campaign of Dishonored I decided to switch to something more popamole.
I thought Bioshock 2 would be appropriate - I completed the 1st game when it was released and hated it I don't give enough fucks to hate games anymore. But since I've heard Bioshit2 was improved in some aspects...

Pros:
- ???

Cons:
- The game requires way too much additional shit to run: it installs Net Framework 3.5, GfW client + redistributable and Visual C++ redistributables. Such things irritate me, since in 99% of cases the game will be shit (devs depend too much on external software, which leads to stability problems),
- Non-removed 1.5 version crashed: 1) in menus 2) during intro movie 3) during first minute of the gameplay; Googled the problem and it looks like it's not related to crack, but the game itself - Steam forums are full of threads describing different ways the game can crash and possible solutions (not working for most posters),
- You play as Big Daddy. Well... I don't want to play as a fucking big daddy.
- Graphics look as fake as in Bioshock 1 (blood, surfaces, models) gameplay is the same (initial ~10 minutes, that was the maximal period I was able to keep playing before the inevitable crash),

tl;dr



Thanks to that I decided to delete both Bioshock games from my HDD (14 GB freed) and skip Bioshock-Infinite entirely (x GB torrent).
Well, that's another battle won for the developers / publishers - Your shit is so bad that I'm not even gonna pirate it in the future. You have my word.

Bio 2 isn't even all that bad, while the idea of playing as a Big Daddy should win the oscar of the most retarded idea ever, it is better than Bio 1 in terms of level design and fights (something that isn't hard to do). You did right in avoiding Infinite, actually, it is a good idea to avoid any Ken Levine game that is made because after that Citizen Kane of gamming bullshit, he will go full retarded in the exploring pretty corridors, shooting boring enemies with boring weapons to experience a story that only people that don't read books find surprising or interesting.

 

[spekkio]

I started Mirror's Edge and... fucking hell - it's actually possible to make good graphics (faces included) on UnrealEngine3?

 

[Cool name]

exploring pretty corridors, shooting boring enemies with boring weapons to experience a story that only people that don't read books find surprising or interesting.

The very essence of storyfag gaming in a single line.

 

[Gregz]

exploring pretty corridors, shooting boring enemies with boring weapons to experience a story that only people that don't read books find surprising or interesting.

The very essence of storyfag gaming in a single line.

Storyfag's insist on great writing in their games. See: planescape

 

[Necroscope]

Installed Gears of War out of boredom, since I haven't played a legitimate shooter since HL2. Good lord, what a boring, brown shit of a game... It's like walking through never ending asshole filled with bricks and moles popping out from behind them. Uninstalling...

 

[DalekFlay]

Installed Gears of War out of boredom, since I haven't played a legitimate shooter since HL2.

Gears of War... a legitimate shooter...

legitimate shooter

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Gears of War is certainly a "shooter". Notice he didn't say anything about first-person

 

[Necroscope]

Don't know much about them modern shooters... Is there anything worthwile past 2005?

 

[Cool name]

Storyfag's insist on great writing in their games. See: planescape

If storyfags were to insist in writing like that of Torment there would not be 'storyfags' at all as Torment is pretty much one of the high points in videogame writing. I would rather say they 'want' that kind of writing yet don't really 'insist' on it that much. Beggars can't be choosers, etc.

In the end most, being generous, storyfag games are precisely what I did quote: Sub-par gameplay with both story and writing that doesn't come even close to a good piece of actual literature. And the superior ones do not go beyond coming 'close.' Even Torment would not be Torment if all it was were the story and the writing, what makes it special is how the story and the writing, limited as they are compared to actual literature, interplays with those elements unique to videogames to make something memorable.

 

[DalekFlay]

Don't know much about them modern shooters... Is there anything worthwile past 2005?

I quite liked Far Cry 3 and the Crysis games, though they're arguably very different from a typical old-school shooter. I like them because you sneak around and assault outposts from the bushes with a sniper rifle. Probably the most PC feeling.

The Darkness 2 was very fun, more linear than old-school games like Doom but with great over-the-top combat and quality power juggling and enemies which force you to do so.

Medal of Honor Airborne is a hidden surprise gem IMO, open levels with a nice look and good weapon use with objectives. Not as good as Allied Assault but fun.

If you can take linear Half Life style stuff there is a wealth of other options... Bulletstorm has moments of old-school over-the-top combat, Rage has amazing animations and a nice hub world between linear missions, Raven did a lot of linear but fun shooters before they died, Wolfenstein, Quake 4 and Singularity... Call of Juarez Bound in Blood and Gunslinger are two great Western shooters if you can take the linear paths... there are probably another dozen linear shooters worth playing if you like that style.

If you like loot and leveling Borderlands is supposed to be great. I don't. If you like Painkiller style circle-strafe arenas then Serious Sam 3 and Hard Reset might be up your alley. Again, I don't. Hard for me to speak to quality on these since I don't like the style.

 

[Necroscope]

I can stand linearity if other aspects of the game are fleshed out, hence I liked HL2 quite a lot (vehicles, gravity gun and shit, duh!). Other than that I really enjoyed Red Faction and... uh, Unreal (awesome soundtrack). Guess it's been a while...

Anyway, thanks for the suggestions, I'll go with TD2 and Airborne (as I rewatched Band of Brothers recently).

 

[bussinrounds]

I rewatched Band of Brothers recently

Have you played any of the Brothers in Arms games ?

 

[DeepOcean]

I can stand linearity if other aspects of the game are fleshed out, hence I liked HL2 quite a lot (vehicles, gravity gun and shit, duh!). Other than that I really enjoyed Red Faction and... uh, Unreal (awesome soundtrack). Guess it's been a while...

Anyway, thanks for the suggestions, I'll go with TD2 and Airborne (as I rewatched Band of Brothers recently).

The Darkness 2 is very good in terms of gunplay, the powers and it is a challenging game on the hard mode but it is short and the level design suck (not because of the linearity but because the levels aren't linear like HL 1 but linear on a CoD like fashion), I just wanted to get the gunplay mechanics, health system(you have to eat the hearts of the enemies when damaged but good luck with trying to get close to eat those hearts with the enemies shooting you.) and cool enemies from this game and put them on something with decent level design.

 

[Necroscope]

Have you played any of the Brothers in Arms games ?

Nope, doesn't even ring a bell.