Worst lines in a Bioware game?

[deuxhero]

What are some of the best examples of Bioware's awful dialog?

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

I gotta go dig up some of the Carth romance dialogues. Those are by far the worst I've seen.

 

[Xor]

Off the top of my head, pretty much the entire first conversation in KOTOR.

 

[shihonage]

In before I WANT TO BE A DRAGON

 

[Serious_Business]

Do you think I remember this shit by heart. Most of the time it's not exactly purely bad lines, I mean their writers can spell out coherent sentences, it's more like the setting that are fist hammered, the characters two dimensional, or the plots uncreative.

Wait. I don't remember any bad lines, then it must mean that there are no bad lines in Bioware!!!!!!!!

R00fles!

 

[racofer]

I want to be a Jedi Guardian!

I want to be a Jedi Sentinel!

I want to be a Jedi Consular!

 

[Texas Red]

If you ask Flemeth's name, she responds "Names are pretty but useless." How does that make any fucking sense? The fail at wiriting is more significant when you look at PS:T and how it handled names.

 

[visions]

I do not know who this Flemeth is or even what game she's from (I'm guessing DA) but this doesn't seem so bad. Real people frequently say things that are corny and make no sense, in an attempt to look profound or whatever.

Somehow I have the feeling that if I were to present inane lines I've heard people say in real life in a written medium as spoken by fictional characters, I'd probably get accused of bad writing that doesn't make sense.

 

[RK47]

A pause later. She laughs....

 

[20 Eyes]

If you ask Flemeth's name, she responds "Names are pretty but useless." How does that make any fucking sense? The fail at wiriting is more significant when you look at PS:T and how it handled names.

When I played the demo, this line annoyed me too. It is blatantly a fanfic level writer trying to sound deep.

Real people frequently say things that are corny and make no sense, in an attempt to look profound or whatever.

I can understand that. The thing is Flemeth is actually supposed to be ancient, wise, profound, and whatever.

 

[Excommunicator]

If you ask Flemeth's name, she responds "Names are pretty but useless." How does that make any fucking sense? The fail at wiriting is more significant when you look at PS:T and how it handled names.

This is true philosophical thinking, don't you understand, gamer? If the hack writer takes any basic element of human nature/society/language and makes an assertive philosophical-sounding rejection of that idea, then that becomes pure insight and brilliance. You don't actually have to think about it, you just have to sound enthusiastic.

That is what real intelligence is about you bastard common-folk

 

[The Gentleman Loser]

If you ask Flemeth's name, she responds "Names are pretty but useless." How does that make any fucking sense? The fail at wiriting is more significant when you look at PS:T and how it handled names.

This is true philosophical thinking, don't you understand, gamer? If the hack writer takes any basic element of human nature/society/language and makes an assertive philosophical-sounding rejection of that idea, then that becomes pure insight and brilliance. You don't actually have to think about it, you just have to sound enthusiastic.

That is what real intelligence is about you bastard common-folk

Yeah, that ranks up there with the "You can not understand, human." fall back for lazy quasi-philosophical writing.

Which they also used, for the Qunari Leader, who goes on to explain his motivations just a few play-hours later. Short version: A disciplined Caste System based on a Religion. Not like there isn't a few examples of this in humanity... or even in the DA universe outside of the Qunari, if you take "Mages", "Templars" and "Non-Mages" as castes.

EDIT: Just to add why this one is a pet peeve of mine. Usually after a while the writer decides it's time to reveal the motivations, and usually it ends up to be perfectly understandable... even simple. This appears in a lot of fiction. What's wrong with something along the lines of "None of your business." instead?

For example: The Reapers in Mass Effect. At first it's "We are beyond your understanding.", and then it's "Terminator Fetus". Reproduction is a pretty simple concept.

The only writer I can think of (off the top of my head) that did this fairly well was Lovecraft, but then he never had the "creatures beyond understanding" say that line... they could not be understood at all, and could not be talked to in normal ways. Still, even he did this poorly once in a while.

Basically if a creature can be understood through normal means of speech, then it can probably explain it's motivations just fine without the writer resorting to the "We are beyond your understanding." cop-out.

(The "I go by many names..." thing is also one of those older-than-writing cliches that pop up a lot. Heck, most internet users are "known by many names". All it takes is to introduce yourself differently in different places, or to not give your name at all and be nicknamed by the locals. "Some call me Flemeth, and others The Witch of the Wilds... more still call me that old woman that got a boob job somewhere on the way to this game.")

 

[bhlaab]

There's always a catch life is a catch I suggest you... CATCH... it will you can!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKbbGX4Wz0Y

 

[poocolator]

There's always a catch life is a catch I suggest you... CATCH... it will you can!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKbbGX4Wz0Y

"The ship ran around on the reefs near the city. I managed to make it to shore. Most of my men weren't as lucky. Poor sods. I knew some of those men almost ten years. Oh, balls."




There was a video from DA:O where some elvish twat broke into song around a campfire during a conversation. She was accompanied by various instruments. I couldn't stop laughing at that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OycVq0J7 ... re=related
If you mute it, it looks as if she's going on about her favourite dress.

 

[baronjohn]

In DA:O you can say to a merchant "I hear you're making a killing! Me too! (kill him)" I don't know. I can't even imagine a child writing this. You literally have to be an inexperienced, tasteless, artless retard to both write this and to not find it gravely offensive.

 

[bhlaab]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw7J7xEOyI8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDVkHkXpcqI

WAKKA WAKKA

 

[The Gentleman Loser]

In DA:O you can say to a merchant "I hear you're making a killing! Me too! (kill him)" I don't know. I can't even imagine a child writing this. You literally have to be an inexperienced, tasteless, artless retard to both write this and to not find it gravely offensive.

That's almost 80s Schwarzenegger Movie quality right there.

 

[Gord]

In terms of making sense (aggravated by terrible voice acting in my localized version), a lot of the lines from Mass Effect.

Example: You destroy that giant alien plant on Ferros and a Asari falls out of it. She also worked for Saren before falling out of that giant thing that just tried to kill you, yet you find it perfectly normal to let her mind-meld with you.

Also, the entire dialogue wheel. Is it that difficult to come up with some lines that actually bear some resemblance to what your character is going to say?

 

[Vibalist]

I hate how Bioware have always failed to capture medieval speech in games that take place in medieval settings. They do try, but fail because their characters keep going back and forth between speaking like the characters in LoTR and real life people. On one hand you have Morrigan saying 'tis' instead of 'this is', characters using expressions like "shall we move on" and all other sorts of old school shit. But then a minute later someone will say something modern-sounding like "anyways, let's get on with our mission" or "you're a pretty awesome guy, Grey Warden" and the illusion kind of breaks.

Edit: "I don't truck with demons" is a fucking ace example of this.

 

[Idiott]

DA2 is a gold mine of retarded sentences.

- But I don't want to ever leave you.
- Want a sandwich?

I don't truck with demons

Hmmm. Apostate Prostitutes? Apostatutes!

C(arver): You know, Fenris, I also have a tattoo.
F(enris): A what?
C: A tattoo, everyone got one before battle at Ostagar, mine's a mabari, for strength.
F: Does it allow you to pierce people chests and tear their insides ?
Cr: Huh no, but I can make it bark.
F: Don't.

 

[Jim Cojones]

"Visitors! How exciting!"
"Say, nice hair."
"Oh, well thank you."
"What are you doing here?"
"I live here -- this is my home. I should be asking you that same question! But you're going to die anyway, so why should I bother!"
"I'll be on my way."

 

[Wirdschowerdn]

I hate how Bioware have always failed to capture medieval speech in games that take place in medieval settings.

It's not a medieval setting, it's a fantasy setting, you fucking dumbfuck. They can use whatever language they want to.

 

[ghostdog]

In DA:O you can say to a merchant "I hear you're making a killing! Me too! (kill him)" I don't know. I can't even imagine a child writing this. You literally have to be an inexperienced, tasteless, artless retard to both write this and to not find it gravely offensive.

That's almost 80s Schwarzenegger Movie quality right there.

80s Schwarzenegger Movie quality is higher than what you, or the little copycat Bioware writers, can fathom. You think anyone can just go and use Arnie's one liners. right ?



RIGHT ?!

WRONG

 

[Lesifoere]

I hate how Bioware have always failed to capture medieval speech in games that take place in medieval settings. They do try, but fail because their characters keep going back and forth between speaking like the characters in LoTR and real life people. On one hand you have Morrigan saying 'tis' instead of 'this is', characters using expressions like "shall we move on" and all other sorts of old school shit. But then a minute later someone will say something modern-sounding like "anyways, let's get on with our mission" or "you're a pretty awesome guy, Grey Warden" and the illusion kind of breaks.

?

Medieval authors wrote like this:

Yclenched overthwart and endelong
With iren tough; and for to make it strong,
Every pyler, the temple to sustene,
Was tonne-greet, of iren bright and shene.

You aren't complaining that Bioware fails to capture medieval speech; you're complaining about speech that doesn't fit into the average fantasy reader's idiotic idea of what medieval speech is like, which is neither authentic nor particularly good, in general. I'll take "fuck this shit, let's move on" (yes, medieval people swore; yes, they used the word "fuck") over a hack writer trying too hard with thee/thou/'tis any day. "Shall we move on" isn't anymore "old school" than "you're pretty awesome, dude," just FYI.

 

[Gragt]

It's not like there is a rule that people in a fantasy world remotely inspired by our medieval world can't speak like we do.