Baldur's Gate Baldur's Gate 3 Early Access Thread [GAME RELEASED, GO TO NEW THREAD]

[Maculo]

Yes, Patrician taste. I plan RP as Andrew Tate and respec Shadowheart, Lazael, and Karlach all as max-strength fighters or barbarians that throw/carry my male PC from place to place, because walking is for the birds ...and women.

Will your male PC also end up as someone's bitch in a Romanian prison?

Every story needs a high point and low point for the protagonist, so that I may arise from Romanian Baldurian prison like a phoenix, defeat the matrix, and teach women how to do better ....through Islam? (I kinda forget all the facts at this point)

 

[La vie sexuelle]

They mocaped this.

 

[Nerevar]

Okay my character has 19 INT okay he should know that Korevas is Sarevok backwards straight away.

He should know that this guy in spellhold that sounds exactly like Irenicus is in fact Irenicus. Even getting a subtle threat from Yoshi while getting a tour.

 

[Fedora Master]

They mocaped this.

Female Drow Barbarian is a cringe pick

 

[MerchantKing]

They mocaped this.

The voice acting is extremely offputting and animation is disgusting. Why did they even bother?

 

[Jermu]

playing BG3 (or any rpg) with steam deck sounds like hell

 

[Barbarian]

They mocaped this.

Female Drow Barbarian is a cringe pick

Didn't 3.5 Drizzt have a 1 level barbarian dip?

Lol

 

[jaekl]

RPGs are about fucking things. You see that 90 year old woman over there, trying to push her shopping cart to her car? You can fuck it. You see that squirrel scurrying up that tall oak tree? You can fuck it.

You've gotta get off of this line of attack. Fucking things is not a big deal really. It's the romance that's the truly scary part about the whole situation. Think about it bro -

A guy fucking a sex doll is a creeper, but there's a "boys will be boys" element to it which limits the creepy factor a bit. You just may not want to let that guy around your kids but he's probably harmless.

Now a guy who not only fucks the doll, but he sets it a place at the dinner table and talks to it, gives it tender little kisses, buys it clothes and jewelry? YIKES. Makes the hairs on your neck stand on end.

Fantasy game masturbators are downright *wholesome* compared to romance enjoyers.

 

[La vie sexuelle]

RPGs are about fucking things. You see that 90 year old woman over there, trying to push her shopping cart to her car? You can fuck it. You see that squirrel scurrying up that tall oak tree? You can fuck it.

You've gotta get off of this line of attack. Fucking things is not a big deal really. It's the romance that's the truly scary part about the whole situation. Think about it bro -

A guy fucking a sex doll is a creeper, but there's a "boys will be boys" element to it which limits the creepy factor a bit. You just may not want to let that guy around your kids but he's probably harmless.

Now a guy who not only fucks the doll, but he sets it a place at the dinner table and talks to it, gives it tender little kisses, buys it clothes and jewelry? YIKES. Makes the hairs on your neck stand on end.

Fantasy game masturbators are downright *wholesome* compared to romance enjoyers.

Romance enjoyer don't put penis in to computer.

They mocaped this.

The voice acting is extremely offputting and animation is disgusting. Why did they even bother?

The cringe must flow...

 

[Turisas]

They mocaped this.

Female Drow Barbarian is a cringe pick

But female ogre is a very tasteful pick.

 

[jaekl]

RPGs are about fucking things. You see that 90 year old woman over there, trying to push her shopping cart to her car? You can fuck it. You see that squirrel scurrying up that tall oak tree? You can fuck it.

You've gotta get off of this line of attack. Fucking things is not a big deal really. It's the romance that's the truly scary part about the whole situation. Think about it bro -

A guy fucking a sex doll is a creeper, but there's a "boys will be boys" element to it which limits the creepy factor a bit. You just may not want to let that guy around your kids but he's probably harmless.

Now a guy who not only fucks the doll, but he sets it a place at the dinner table and talks to it, gives it tender little kisses, buys it clothes and jewelry? YIKES. Makes the hairs on your neck stand on end.

Fantasy game masturbators are downright *wholesome* compared to romance enjoyers.

Romance enjoyer don't put penis in to computer.

No, they place their computer monitor on top of the corpse of one of their victims and use that.

 

[La vie sexuelle]

RPGs are about fucking things. You see that 90 year old woman over there, trying to push her shopping cart to her car? You can fuck it. You see that squirrel scurrying up that tall oak tree? You can fuck it.

You've gotta get off of this line of attack. Fucking things is not a big deal really. It's the romance that's the truly scary part about the whole situation. Think about it bro -

A guy fucking a sex doll is a creeper, but there's a "boys will be boys" element to it which limits the creepy factor a bit. You just may not want to let that guy around your kids but he's probably harmless.

Now a guy who not only fucks the doll, but he sets it a place at the dinner table and talks to it, gives it tender little kisses, buys it clothes and jewelry? YIKES. Makes the hairs on your neck stand on end.

Fantasy game masturbators are downright *wholesome* compared to romance enjoyers.

Romance enjoyer don't put penis in to computer.

No, they place their computer monitor on top of the corpse of one of their victims and use that.

Tell me you liked Nekromantik without telling me you liked Nekromantik.

Movie for connaisseurs

 

[Nifft Batuff]

I loved RPGs when I was a kid.

 

[Fedora Master]

Wtf I just realized connaisseur is the actual French while connoisseur is the English pidgin version

 

[La vie sexuelle]

Wtf I just realized connaisseur is the actual French while connoisseur is the English pidgin version

Just like 50% of english words. https://blog.busuu.com/french-words-in-english/

 

[frajaq]

thinking about playing a scalie tbh

 

[Fedora Master]

I

Wtf I just realized connaisseur is the actual French while connoisseur is the English pidgin version

Just like 50% of english words. https://blog.busuu.com/french-words-in-english

I know. But usually the words are taken wholesale, maybe with the gay accute accent removed. Going from ai to oi just seems petty.

 

[Nifft Batuff]

Imagine having a son, a kid. You talked to him about RPGs and how much you loved Baldur's Gate. You piqued his curiosity, and now he want to follow your footsteps in your gaming hobbies and he is going to play BG3.

...

 

[Fedora Master]

thinking about playing a scalie tbh

The way they shoehorned Dragonborn into the FR setting was retarded even by 4e standards

 

[Turisas]

Imagine having a son, a kid. You talked to him about RPGs and how much you loved Baldur's Gate. You piqued his curiosity, and now he want to follow your footsteps in your gaming hobbies and he is going to play BG3.

...

More like he's gonna play BG1 or cry and play BG1.

 

[La vie sexuelle]

I

Wtf I just realized connaisseur is the actual French while connoisseur is the English pidgin version

Just like 50% of english words. https://blog.busuu.com/french-words-in-english

I know. But usually the words are taken wholesale, maybe with the gay accute accent removed. Going from ai to oi just seems petty.

And "rage" is same word, but with complete different spelling in each language.

thinking about playing a scalie tbh

The way they shoehorned Dragonborn into the FR setting was retarded even by 4e standards

You don't like planets collisions make only for simplification’s sake?

 

[Raghar]

Imagine having a son, a kid. You talked to him about RPGs and how much you loved Baldur's Gate. You piqued his curiosity, and now he want to follow your footsteps in your gaming hobbies and he is going to play BG3.

Or a daughter, and then she'd masturbate when she'd see that vampire.

 

[Tuco Benedicto Pacifico]

The voice acting is extremely offputting and animation is disgusting. Why did they even bother?

The game has often excellent voice acting.
This simply wasn't one of the most accomplished moments in EA.

But frankly, aside from the IDEA behind this "hilarious" gag being garbage to begin with, this clip highlights an even worse issue.
The fact that Larian has often a HORRENDOUS sense of cinematography and more than anything they can't get the "silent protagonist" right to save their own lives.

We talked about this even months ago in this thread, but to reiterate the point: every time the camera lingers on your mute main character reacting to something, the effect is almost unintentional comedic.
You often tend to over-act and overreact like an alcoholic street mime on the verge of a stroke.

 

[Gradenmayer]

The voice acting is extremely offputting and animation is disgusting. Why did they even bother?

The game has often excellent voice acting.
This simply wasn't one of the most accomplished moments in EA.

But frankly, aside from the IDEA behind this "hilarious" gag being garbage to begin with, this clip highlights an even worse issue.
The fact that Larian has often a HORRENDOUS sense of cinematography and more than anything they can't get the "silent protagonist" right to save their own lives.

We talked about this even months ago in this thread, but to reiterate the point: every time the camera lingers on your mute main character reacting to something, the effect is almost unintentional comedic.
You often tend to over-act and overreact like an alcoholic street mime on the verge of a stroke.

That’s because you play a pussy that does conversation checks instead of immediately escalating into physical violence.

 

[Tuco Benedicto Pacifico]

That’s because you play a pussy that does conversation checks instead of immediately escalating into physical violence.

It's actually WORSE when you attempt to play a silent tough guy like, say, a big barbarian, because seeing your character being all squeamish and acting absolutely terrified when a puny undead skeleton raises to attack you is more than a bit out of character.