Baldur's Gate Baldur's Gate 3 Early Access Thread [GAME RELEASED, GO TO NEW THREAD]

[Fedora Master]

Correct. This is retcon. In BG2, she uses vampirism to escape her shortened lifespan after having her elven heritage magical stripped from her as punishment in assisting Irenicus drain the Tree of Life.

While we're on the topic, I was never entirely sure what exactly that "elven heritage" was supposed to be in its totality, though. Was it just their long life span (basically a delayed death sentence) or their... emotions or what else? Irenicus wants the Bhaalspawn's divine essence to "restore" himself before he goes play lumberjack again, but obviously he was still quite powerful to begin with.

When talking to Ellesime, he says he was "stripped of everything that was elven", but it would be helpful if we knew just what that "elven" means. You know, other than "longsword fodder."

I presume his connection to the Seldarine, so a proper elven afterlife and whatnot.

 

[Mr. Magniloquent]

@Fedora They took away his +1 bonus with bows and swords, which led him to late nights obsessing over Elliseme because she took away his 90% resistance to charm and sleep too. He couldn't find the lesson in the darkness of his own grief, because she also stole his infravision.

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

The problem with this argument is that, even though it sounds absolutely fucking retarded, human sexuality often works precisely in this manner. Just look at all the male feminists raping women and Christian preachers sneaking out for private, drug-fueled parties with male prostitutes. That's why whenever you hear someone crusade just a little too strongly against some vice or another, you can put money on it coming from that crusader's guilty conscience.

So, do arachnophobes want to fuck spiders?

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

From what I remember of BG2, she became a vampire to cope with the curse she received as punishment for what she and Irenicus did at Suldanesselar.

lmao.

I wrote this short effort post ripping people on what if we would have gotten a BG3 that was a direct sequel per 5E, since everyone was still alive apparently, including Irenicus.

But then I deleted it, since I thought it would be silly for them to say Irenicus was still alive.

I hadn't read this full book or seen that both Bhodi AND Irenicus are still alive according to it.

 

[Sarkile]

Imoen's part vampire now huh? That book is definitely fanfic tier.

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

Xan is also a tranny now.

Actually, kind of believable.

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

Who ever wrote those things, didn't even beat BG 2 with Cernd in the party.

Written and designed by James Ohlen, Drew Karpyshyn and Brent Knowles et al. Ohlen is the lead designer of Baldur's Gate and Baldur's Gate 2, and I am sure that most of you will also recognize the other two.

Yet another reminder that Bioware was decline from the start.

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

It was probably a mercy that we got BG, Fallout and the others when we did.

It seems like half the devs turned out to be (or turned into) massive faggots, and it was only the former constraints of polite society that prevented them from manifesting their demons for all to see.

If the same games were made today by the same people, I have little doubt that they'd be just as much woke garbage as anything Larian or Owlcuck puts out.

 

[Butter]

It was probably a mercy that we got BG, Fallout and the others when we did.

It seems like half the devs turned out to be (or turned into) massive faggots, and it was only the former constraints of polite society that prevented them from manifesting their demons for all to see.

If the same games were made today by the same people, I have little doubt that they'd be just as much woke garbage as anything Larian or Owlcuck puts out.

see: every Bioware game in the past 15 years.

 

[Skorpion]

Alright, who adjusted Edgy-as-barbwire-tattoos medicine because its been shitting up every thread for a week with non-sense bullshit like a spam bot?
Even Fadora Faggot has the decency to type a one sentence cut-n-paste to his hate thread list once a week rather than dozens of times a day.

 

[Fedora Master]

Xan is also a tranny now.

Actually, kind of believable.

 

[Cat Headed Eagle]

Wasn't Bodhi a vampire? Is there something like a True Death in DND?

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

Alright, who adjusted Edgy-as-barbwire-tattoos medicine because its been shitting up every thread for a week with non-sense bullshit like a spam bot?
Even Fadora Faggot has the decency to type a one sentence cut-n-paste to his hate thread list once a week rather than dozens of times a day.

What's your problem? I didn't even bring up the dumb Minsc urinal book.

The thread is dead until the game is released anyway, since there aren't going to be any more major updates.

Maybe you'd rather it be the usual "boohoo, why is the game turn-based?" circle jerk, but occasionally people like to discuss other things.

 

[NecroLord]

Wasn't Bodhi a vampire? Is there something like a True Death in DND?

Yes. The destruction of the soul.
Also, some of the souls who end up on the Lower Planes (mostly the Abyss or the Grey Wastes) end up as literal demon fodder or larvae.
The larvae are used as currency by the inhabitants of the Grey Wastes of Hades...

 

[Fedora Master]

At this point, is the old lore regarding the soul trade and the lower planes even still accurate? Knowing Wokezards they might have changed it.

 

[Maxwell's Demon]

The problem with this argument is that, even though it sounds absolutely fucking retarded, human sexuality often works precisely in this manner. Just look at all the male feminists raping women and Christian preachers sneaking out for private, drug-fueled parties with male prostitutes. That's why whenever you hear someone crusade just a little too strongly against some vice or another, you can put money on it coming from that crusader's guilty conscience.

So, do arachnophobes want to fuck spiders?

In some rare cases, yes. Though bugs, snakes, and spiders are three things that humans evolved specific instincts to fear, so these cases are somewhat exceptional. Keep in mind that due to the misattribution of arousal (AKA "the suspension bridge effect") fear itself becomes an aphrodisiac.

Humans often feel and think many contrary things at one time. That's parallel processing in action.

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

At this point, is the old lore regarding the soul trade and the lower planes even still accurate? Knowing Wokezards they might have changed it.

https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Larva#cite_note-FCI-HotA-pp108-14

It seems to be mostly similar on the surface. I notice there's no entry for 4e, so I'm guessing it was one of the things 4e nuked.

 

[Trithne]

Hang the fuck on, Irenicus and Bodhi are still kicking around? Really? Can someone please fucking stay dead and gone for good? Will we just keep getting "Somehow, Palpatine returned"?

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

It's called being untalented. People who can't create unique characters do one of two things: either reuse existing characters, or clone them.

I think it takes a special breed of laziness and and an intent to capitalize off brand recognition to reuse them this much though.

Would it have really been so hard to make your own vampire thief girl? Or gay druid/ranger couple?

 

[Reinhardt]

Would it have really been so hard to make your own vampire thief girl?

beamdog tried. it was... shit...

 

[NecroLord]

Would it have really been so hard to make your own vampire thief girl?

beamdog tried. it was... shit...

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

beamdog tried. it was... shit...

My point is at least it was their own garbage, not someone else's character they retconned.

Blacula's are a doomed character archetype unless they're Blade. And even then, the third movie was terrible.

 

[NecroLord]

And even then, the third movie was terrible.

That's a bit harsh. It was decent, but not great.
Blade was the OG black vampire.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Sorry to break the fapcircle but...
"Heroes of Baldur's Gate" module is NOT canon.

AFAIK Wizards have some kind of "release your shitty module and share the profits with us" thing going on. These things are not canon.
Then again, one of the original Bioware members - James Ohlen - worked on it. So it might be dangerously close to becoming canon.

 

[Cryomancer]

is NOT canon.

Anything not published by TSR = fanfic