Baldur's Gate Baldur's Gate 3 RELEASE THREAD

[Crispy]

This has probably already been said here a number of times, but it's really just the first few hours of the game that the homosexual overtures are -- pardon the phrase -- slathered on. Once you reject first the big elf druid guy's then the black devil guy's then the white wizard guy's gay advances then they finally get the picture that you're not interested and never mention it again.

What I can't figure out is why I don't get any dialog options to have sexy time with the one person in camp whom I'd be interested in (the goth chick). Maybe it's because I'm playing a monk and the game is protecting my chaste oath for me.

Edit: Oh yeah I forgot about the homo elf vampire guy who tried to rape me.

 

[Ryzer]

This has probably already been said here a number of times, but it's really just the first few hours of the game that the homosexual overtures are -- pardon the phrase -- slathered on. Once you reject first the big elf druid guy's then the black devil guy's then the white wizard guy's gay advances then they finally get the picture that you're not interested and never mention it again.

What I can't figure out is why I don't get any dialog options to have sexy time with the one person in camp whom I'd be interested in (the goth chick). Maybe it's because I'm playing a monk and the game is protecting my chaste oath for me.

Edit: Oh yeah I forgot about the homo elf vampire guy who tried to rape me.

Even in videogames, no woman wants to have sex with you.

 

[Cryomancer]

Sounds like you never played the game

I played. The unique non ugly romance option for males is Shadowheart. And she is borderline and with a crazy past. Even the brothel in act 3 has options for everything except straight sex. I even got the "dense macabre" spell from the hidden quest.

Edit: Oh yeah I forgot about the homo elf vampire guy who tried to rape me.

I have killed him. I was curious about his questline but having to endure his existence for hundreds of hours before killing him was a too high price to pay. Death is too good for him. He must become subject to experiments.

 

[Grauken]

The unique non ugly romance option for males is Shadowheart.

We found your problem, you have shit taste

 

[Desiderius]

She does have child-bearing hips and nice pert breasts.

This is in fact progress once 90% of the rest can be burned with fire. Asstarion is well-depicted. Much of the human race was birthed from the likes of saggy old frog face and tavern wench Karlach. I'd as soon not have that in adventure games but if its going to be there it beats Yennifer cuntiness and Geralt shooting blanks.

 

[Gahbreeil]

[...]Geralt shooting blanks.

Geralt might be a pedophile, btw.

 

[Desiderius]

[...]Geralt shooting blanks.

Geralt might be a pedophile, btw.

Doubt

You can tell he wanted to think of himself as Ciri's surrogate father but he was shitty at it and left the real work to Vesemir.

 

[Gahbreeil]

Doubt

You can tell he wanted to think of himself as Ciri's surrogate father but he was shitty at it and left the real work to Vesemir.

A father isn't a pedophile though. I mean the twelve year old barmaid from "A Shard of Ice".

 

[Grauken]

Doubt

You can tell he wanted to think of himself as Ciri's surrogate father but he was shitty at it and left the real work to Vesemir.

A father isn't a pedophile though. I mean the twelve year old barmaid from "A Shard of Ice".

Gahbreeil tried this shit already here https://rpgcodex.net/forums/threads/the-witcher-or-how-i-lost-my-childhood.140413/

 

[Lacrymas]

As much as I dislike the Witcher, he isn't a pedo.

 

[Doctor Gong]

Some hardcore Incline might not approve, but the game is quite enjoyable so far, even if the annoying parts get really annoying since otherwise the game is what generally what one can hope for in in this style of RPG. A big adventure that your choices do have some impact on the game and the world. The fact that everyone is thirsty is not as big as a issue as that the options don't change depending on who you play. Even Mass Effect, which people joked was a alien sex simulator, had NPCs that only could be romanced by one gender and so on. Thus, the thirstiness becomes poor writing.

Then again, sometimes even writing that hits a lot of tropes can work. I adore shadowheart even if she on the nose on quite a few tropes. It's not Age of Decadence, but I never expected it to be so. It hits the key factor of being fun, at least for me, and I am enjoying it.

 

[Crispy]

Doctor Dong

 

[Darkwind]

Once you reject first the big elf druid guy's then the black devil guy's then the white wizard guy's gay advances then they finally get the picture that you're not interested and never mention it again.

Oh yeah I forgot about the homo elf vampire guy who tried to rape me.

So I only have to say "no gay homo sex" four times. Then the game opens right up for a boring basic bitch 'patriarchy embracing cis-heteronormative' playthrough? Got it...

 

[MerchantKing]

As much as I dislike the Witcher, he isn't a pedo.

At the moment. CDPR is probably working hard to change that.

 

[Yosharian]

If you fix Shadowheart's hair she isn't too bad honestly

 

[Desiderius]

I adore shadowheart even if she on the nose on quite a few tropes.

Once she catches feelings for MC her mind starts getting right and the Groomer Cult loses its luster. Cunt goddess even buzzes her with pain whenever her maternal instincts flare up but she remains unfazed.

This I can handle.

I never got any come-ons from the male characters other than the swarmy look on Halsin's face and Asstarion wanting to feed on my blood. I'm not big on the dialogue options that could end up there but that's because I'm not big on "romance" in these games at all. Relationships with the male companions are written from the female perspective because it's a female writer. The only true phag is Asstarion, the others are dudes talking to a chick and leaving options open to get into her pants because that's what the writer knows. When she's writing the female characters it rings truer for the same reason.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Doubt

You can tell he wanted to think of himself as Ciri's surrogate father but he was shitty at it and left the real work to Vesemir.

A father isn't a pedophile though. I mean the twelve year old barmaid from "A Shard of Ice".

Gahbreeil tried this shit already here https://rpgcodex.net/forums/threads/the-witcher-or-how-i-lost-my-childhood.140413/

Desiderius I beseech thee to glance upon the thread hitherlinked.

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

Once you reject first the big elf druid guy's then the black devil guy's then the white wizard guy's gay advances then they finally get the picture that you're not interested and never mention it again.

Oh yeah I forgot about the homo elf vampire guy who tried to rape me.

So I only have to say "no gay homo sex" four times. Then the game opens right up for a boring basic bitch 'patriarchy embracing cis-heteronormative' playthrough? Got it...

That and being careful not to become too friendly with the crypto-illithid, unless you're into that sort of thing.

 

[dukeofwoodberry]

Again the party members are ass in this game. Not a single Espirit de corps bro you can ride with. Absolutely pathetic from cucks at Larian. No idea how to write a proper bro, just a bunch of cringey faggots

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

Again the party members are ass in this game. Not a single Espirit de corps bro you can ride with. Absolutely pathetic from cucks at Larian. No idea how to write a proper bro, just a bunch of cringey faggots

There are plenty of bro characters. They just all want to have sex with you.

The sex stuff just shows how perverse the devs are. It ruins everything in the game, including the main story. Nothing takes you out of a game like constant idiocy.

There is a foundation of halfway decent dialog and character writing there, but it's buried underneath the giant shit the devs took on it for no reason.

 

[dukeofwoodberry]

Again the party members are ass in this game. Not a single Espirit de corps bro you can ride with. Absolutely pathetic from cucks at Larian. No idea how to write a proper bro, just a bunch of cringey faggots

There are plenty of bro characters. They just all want to have sex with you.

The sex stuff just shows how perverse the devs are. It ruins everything in the game, including the main story. Nothing takes you out of a game like constant idiocy.

There is a foundation of halfway decent dialog and character writing there, but it's buried underneath the giant shit the devs took on it for no reason.

The sex is the worst part but none of them are proper bros with quality comradery even outside of it. Froggy is the only one who has it and she might be my favorite party member but of course that's a strong women.

I'm not the biggest fan of Shadowheart either. She's okay but I really dislike how her personality stays pretty much the same whether you keep her as Shar follower or convert her to Selune. That's par for the course in this game with the fake C&C

 

[BruceVC]

Doubt

You can tell he wanted to think of himself as Ciri's surrogate father but he was shitty at it and left the real work to Vesemir.

A father isn't a pedophile though. I mean the twelve year old barmaid from "A Shard of Ice".

Gahbreeil tried this shit already here https://rpgcodex.net/forums/threads/the-witcher-or-how-i-lost-my-childhood.140413/

That was one of the first funniest threads I ever interacted in on Codex

Someone who misunderstood the point of a sentence in a book and thought it was the Witcher who was the pervert when in fact the author was clearly stating it was the innkeeper

Lord_Potato remember trying to explain to Gahbreeil his mistranslation to English

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

Well, if you have taste, sure, it's just Laezel.

But if you lower your standards there's Karlach, Shadowheart (provided you don't trigger her romance flags by kissing her or whatever - which is easy, since she plays hard to get anyway), Halsin (same, but his trigger is too easy), the gay elf (provided you turn him down two or three times), and Jaheria and Minsc (who have no romances). Minthara tries to have sex with you at first, but you can turn her down.

Gale just constantly railroads the player into his romance, and I haven't seen Wyll's.

 

[Grauken]

Someone who misunderstood the point of a sentence in a book and thought it was the Witcher who was the pervert when in fact the author was clearly stating it was the innkeeper

The high point was doubling down and never admitting being wrong and now bringing it up again

 

[ferratilis]

How am I supposed to play a big barbarian in this game when all male voice sets sound like Californian gender studies students?! Swen, give us at least one rough, masculine voice set ffs. Even Pillars of Eternity did it better, and that game was made by Californians.