NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Jaesun]

Those dwarves are more like bears though. And bears are icky. Otters are where it's at.

 

[Broseph]

Those dwarves are more like bears though. And bears are icky. Otters are where it's at.

 

[dnf]

http://krauserpua.com/2013/03/27/what-your-choice-of-video-game-says-about-your-smp-rank/

What your choice of video game says about your Sexual Value rank

March 27, 2013 35 Comments
I’m in a frivilous mood so here’s an idea I’m throwing out only half-seriously, one that came to me while trying to decide which game to play once I’ve finished the new Rage DLC (scorchers). The male domination hierarchy drives not just how women respond to you sexually but also your self-image, other men’s reactions, and the type of entertainment you’ll pursue. Our identities are expressed through our consumption choices, our fashion choices, and how we spend our time. So let’s apply that to video games.
Alpha: Command & Conquer, Rome Total War, Evil Genius

Bang! Smash! Kill!

The alpha male sits atop the male hierarchy giving orders to his lackeys then sitting back to smoke a cigar while he watches the world be remade in his image. He’s intensely competitive and loves to exercise his will upon a hostile world. He seeks decisive victory. Thus what better games than those where he commands armies, ripping thousands of little computer people from their little computer homes and sending them to certain death as they scythe through enemy lands looting and pillaging.
Sigma: Far Cry 3, Hitman Absolution, Dark Souls

Hunt and kill

The sigma walks alone on the fringes of society, heedless of its demands and determined to make his own way. The world is a playground and his mission to perfect his own skills for his own sake, to extract from it the little he needs to get by. He wishes for no affiliations, no crusade to join. So what better games than an open world sandbox with animals to hunt, pirates to assassinate, factions to play off against each other and the whole thing played at your own pace, free to pick and choose your own action? Who is a more symbolic archetype of the sigma mindset than the international assassin?
Beta: Gears of War, Call of Duty (single player), Battlefield

Yes, there’s a woman in there. Sassy.


Beta males are followers. They are looking for a cause higher than their own, to be pointed in a direction then sent off to surmount the obstacles and prove their worth. Thus we have long-winded save-the-world campaigns where you slot into a fire-team and play “follow the NPC”. There’s so much gushing about defending your homeland, team spirit and yes…. duty. I’ve replaced COD multiplayer (a lone-wolf twitch-fest) with Battlefield because the later better expresses the coordinated teamwork and class-based role-following that appeals to the beta drone.
Gamma: Final Fantasy, Mass Effect, Metal Gear Solid

Low testosterone environment


The gamma male is tortured by the cognitive dissonance between his self-perceived superiority (springing from his high intelligence) and his actual lowly SMP rank (springing from his feminisation). This conflict expresses itself in snark, excessive complication, and an appreciation for labyrinthian story-based RPGs that reward obsessive play. If the boring long-winded too-smart-by-half snarky lefty anti-capitalist message of MGS isn’t proof enough, just look at a photo of its creator Hideo Kojima. A high-acheiving gamma if ever there was one. Gammas want to play games that remind them how clever they are. They want to be the reluctant hero who saves the world he holds in contempt. They want the final cut-scene that vindicates them for being right all along. And they really like feminised bland characters.
Omega: World of Warcraft, Skyrim

No toilets to get your head flushed down


The thing omegas have far more than everyone else is time. With no social life to distract them the omega is free to over-invest in endless grinding RPGs, building a virtual self that can rank higher than his real-world incarnation. Online, no-one knows you’re a dog. The omega can access social communication through MMORPGs but with buffers that avoid the real world rejection he is used to. In Skyrim he can lose himself completely in a fully-featured virtual world where he is always the hero. This is the true escapism.
An overreach?
BTW, I’d love to know how the Sci-Fi and Fantasy genres are mapped by SMP rank. I don’t read much but I’d guess Asimov is for gammas, Herbert for betas, Star Trek for manginas and Doctor Who for omegas. However, I don’t know the scene well enough to judge.

I think he is right about the Gammas and Omegas though

 

[Jashiin]

Well this bandwagon might just collapse under its own weight, if this goes on for much longer.

 

[Dexter]

Btw. that's the sorceress:

And some screens:

I'm kinda partial to the art style, but I don't own or want any of the required console toys.

They're just pissed cause Japanese and Eastern European devs couldn't give two shits about their bullshit and more often than not react like this to it:

 

[Jaesun]

Moving thread to jRPG discussions.

 

[dnf]

BTE is some kind of a nomad thread. Post some social lolstice game article. Move it to politics. Post about some jrpg. Move it to desudesu. Post about popamole. move it to popamole,etc,etc. My sugestion: Make a subforum for BTE.

 

[Admiral jimbob]

You people get really angry at the idea of women who wear clothes.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

"casual homophobia"

edit: That second article could be summed up in a simple "I really like RTS".

 

[LundB]

This thread has like 600 pages of lulz, it's not as if two pages of unrelated discussion are going to ruin it.

YOUR ANUS HAS LET OUT LIKE 600 THOUSAND LUMPS OF SHIT, IT'S NOT AS IF TWO COCKS RAMMED IN ARE GOING TO RUIN IT.


ALJKF WELGNLFNGOVJREOIGJBFDF

See, I can't remember for sure whether I was actually angry or thought I was making a great joke last night.

Don't drink and post, kids.

 

[Tehdagah]

Third: The picture is of large, muscular, bearded guys. Gross, right? Who could be sexually attracted to that? Well, me, for starters. While the actual picture in question doesn't do it for me, that's broadly the type of guy I like. So now I feel stupid because George Kamitani thinks this is ridiculous.

And who could be sexually attracted to a ridiculous large, muscular woman?


edit. Kotaku readers never fail to amuse me

 

[dnf]

"casual homophobia"

edit: That second article could be summed up in a simple "I really like RTS".

He also puts FC3, Hitman and Dark Souls on a positive light. The article is just dumb though. Liking Macho characters or games with macho behaviour does not correlate to one guy being the real deal.

You people get really angry at the idea of women who wear clothes.

Because not caring about removing loli bodybuilders from the premises equals not liking composed woman? Unlike the feminists burka enforcers, we like variety.

 

[evdk]

So, when did hoopy come back?

 

[Clockwork Knight]

The elf's arms are uncovered. Fucking whore.

 

[circ]

I just noticed the fucked up proportions. Those legs are weirding me out.

 

[tuluse]

I just noticed the fucked up proportions.

 

[SCO]

Also IIRC female athelets cannot comepete in male leagues, so say good bye to your self insert playing for Bayern.

But this. Not that anybody who starts a video with a "coming up with a topic is teh hard so, I dunno, lol this" is winning many points with me.

Holy shit north korea is 9th?!

Steroids

 

[Gozma]

The hypermasculinized warrior guy actually does have a Japanese "beautiful boy" face that was created to get girls to buy romance comics where guys with those faces are the boyfriends. I'm not saying having 800 kilos of trapezius muscle is sexualization for girls rather than hypermasculine fantasy for boys, but the face is genuine "girl gaze" material

 

[Lorica]

Btw. that's the sorceress:

Spoiler

She belongs in a game where choosing the right conversation options means you get to milk her.

Spoiler

Tinkerbell, that whore! Put on some pants and get back in the kitchen lantern on Iger's desk.

 

[Zeriel]

I really don't like that art style, but it has nothing to do with it being sexualized or not. Gaming journalists continue to be a painful reminder that the human race was a mistake.

 

[SCO]

Gamers too. Nothing with being sexualized he says. Grow the fuck up.

 

[Tehdagah]

The term 'attractive' is more correct than 'sexualized'. Same for 'over-sexualized'. It should be 'exceptionally attractive'.

 

[catfood]

I wanna be that skeleton.

 

[Tytus]

I wonder if she has back problems. It seems so. Those tits are so heavy she needs a walking stick.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

She's a mage, I'm sure she can just heal her damaged vertebrae everyday before going to sleep.