Best thread ever.

[Nog Robbin]

Is quoting TES forums the only thing left to amuse yourselves? Yes there are idiots there. Yes, there are idiots here. What's the point?

Technically this is the "best thread ever" thread. Nothing says it has to be TES related. In theory we could quote any thread from anywhere - including here.

There are some doozies on TESF though - and laughing at peoples stupidity rarely grows old. That's why programs like "candid camera" and "you've been framed" (home video cock ups) do so well.

 

[Vault Dweller]

It's just too funny. They come up with crazy things so no "normal" person ever would:

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... pic=242699

I understand players & NPCs not doing it, but when it comes to horses, canines, & perhaps some other animals, I don't think it's (animal feces) tasteless- in fact, I think it would in fact help immersion.

My strongest point: What is a horse trodden trail without horse dung?

It's also a big part of dog ownership:
Imagine the whole element of NPC owners cleaning up after their dogs. It would be another way for NPCs to express their unique personalities.

Imagine stepping in poo for the first time, and then NPCs commenting about you tracking it all over the place until you clean it off.

Imagine chasing pesky dogs off your lawn, or getting into disputes (perhaps leading to fun revenge quests) when owners let their dogs go mess on your property.

Imagine a third NPC idle animation: The leaf raker, the dirt sweeper, and the poo scooper.

I think I may very well mod this in.

 

[Excrément]

http://www.rpgcodex.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=10891

this thread is interesting too.

 

[Goliath]

It's just too funny. They come up with crazy things so no "normal" person ever would:

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... pic=242699

I understand players & NPCs not doing it, but when it comes to horses, canines, & perhaps some other animals, I don't think it's (animal feces) tasteless- in fact, I think it would in fact help immersion.

My strongest point: What is a horse trodden trail without horse dung?

It's also a big part of dog ownership:
Imagine the whole element of NPC owners cleaning up after their dogs. It would be another way for NPCs to express their unique personalities.

Imagine stepping in poo for the first time, and then NPCs commenting about you tracking it all over the place until you clean it off.

Imagine chasing pesky dogs off your lawn, or getting into disputes (perhaps leading to fun revenge quests) when owners let their dogs go mess on your property.

Imagine a third NPC idle animation: The leaf raker, the dirt sweeper, and the poo scooper.

I think I may very well mod this in.

TES fanboys are also scat lovers - somehow I am not surprised...

 

[kingcomrade]

My strongest point: What is a horse trodden trail without horse dung?

His strongest point indeed.

 

[Data4]

I'm not sure if people here realize that even on other forums within the TES discussion boards, the Oblivion forum is an embarassment. I made a post in the Mods forum, and someone commented on my ESF signature:

Leading the way in cynicism, elitism, and a firm belief that U.S. taxpayers are being ripped off by the American public school system. Just look at any gaming forum for proof.

This is so true it hurts. I cannot bear to read the Oblivion forum, for instance. Not that it needs an instance. I've tried several times - I would really like to read the threads and enjoy them - but I come away after only a few minutes with an incredibly splitting headache and a conviction that humankind is doomed to extinction.

But, on the upside, whenever I begin to believe [the Mods forum] is experiencing an influx of morons all I have to do is pop up there for a minute and I instantly realize that this forum is really an island of maturity in an overwhelmingly large sea of people whose most profound utterance on any given topic is 'this sucks!'

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... &p=4413097



-D4

 

[LlamaGod]

I think one reason is that mods cant be used on the Xbox version, so all those guys have no interest in it.

 

[LlamaGod]

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... pic=246562

Oblivion is oh-so-innovative, just check out these hot features

Well, you could always...

- Wander
- Hunt for ingredients
- Try and get NPCs to like you
- Talk to people
- Make mods (PC only)
- Enjoy the music
- Try and get to remote places
- Roleplay characters
- Create all sorts of cool looking characters
- Make your own spells if you're in the Mage's Guild
- Steal things
- Kill random monsters
- Go on rampages
- Hunt for specific creatures
- Collect specific items
- Decorate your house
- Go cruising on your horse

Oblivion is truely breaking ground that's already been broken over 20 years ago.

 

[Relien]

- Wander
- Hunt for ingredients
- Try and get NPCs to like you
- Talk to people
- Make mods (PC only)
- Enjoy the music
- Try and get to remote places
- Roleplay characters
- Create all sorts of cool looking characters
- Make your own spells if you're in the Mage's Guild
- Steal things
- Kill random monsters
- Go on rampages
- Hunt for specific creatures
- Collect specific items
- Decorate your house
- Go cruising on your horse

I started Oblivion, but didn't know what to do. I decided to go somewhere, so I did.

After 50 meters I encountered a giant rat. It almost killed me, but finally I smashed it and took a "rat meat" ingredient from it. I noticed I'm not alone. There was a lumberjack in the forest with me. I didn't recognize its gender, so I engaged in conversation with it to find out. I played a persuasion minigame, but I only pissed it off. I talked to it, but it didn't respond. Well, whatever, I said to myself, I'll use CS and mod it out of the game.

I was modding while enjoying cool mp3s I have on my HDD, when I felt a strong need to get high. Well, it was a very late night when I noticed I'm playing a show featuring several pieces of rubber, a knife and a broken CD, having a good conversation. I realized it'll be better to return to Oblivion, and because I wasn't successful in moding that fucking lumberjack out, I tried to impress it by all sorts of new and cool looking characters. Unfortunately I wasn't a member of the Mage's Guild so I couldn't make any spells, and thus I failed to get its attention.

Terrible anger was beginning to get hold of me. I was stealing walking sticks from blind beggars, I was killing at will, all bloodstained and mad, spreading terror, rampaging about, tearing people apart, hanging them by their innards, until... Until I finally stood face to face with the arch villain, the starter of all evil, the unleasher of hell... The lumberjack. I was decided to let it live for an eternity in a pain so terrible that its vocal cords would cease to function the very moment it would start screamimg, but then I finally recognized its gender. I picked up its <spoiler avoided> genitals and decorated my house with it.

That was too much, I needed some sleep. I turned off my computer and relaxed in the silence...

Everything was so peaceful...

I felt the pleasant tiredness going through my body... ...when sudenly - a horse whinnied outside. I remembered the video of Mr. Hands that I saw on some horrible game forum and I instantly knew what I was going to do...

Revenge is so sweet...

 

[Antiphon]

You know, I saw a poll once at ESF that shows the average age there is something like 12-16.

I'm not sure why it's so rewarding for those in this thread to make fun of children.

Maybe it's because you all were just like them?

I've heard it said that there is pain behind some of the best humor.

Maybe you should be discussing you own painful childhoods.

edit: the poll was on the Oblivion forum and not representative of the entire ESF.

 

[Temoid]

What a bunch of meanies, making fun of retards!

 

[Levski 1912]

Maybe you should be discussing you own painful childhoods.

I had to put on my robe and wizard hat.

 

[Antiphon]

Maybe you should be discussing you own painful childhoods.

I had to put on my robe and wizard hat.

I'm kinda new to all this terminology, but were you what's called a LARPer?

That does sound truly painful.

You have my pity.


edit:spelling

Edit: On further reflection, at some young age aren't we all LARPers? I clearly remember playing Cowboys and Indians.

edit:edit:spelling

 

[callehe]

I cast lvl 3 spell erotism on you and you turn into a really beautiful woman.

 

[Antiphon]

I cast lvl 3 spell erotism on you and you turn into a really beautiful woman.

If you'd add "young" I'd probably go for that.

 

[Twinfalls]

Oh fuckin priceless:

In response to thistopic, which was actually intelligent and accurate:

As most of you will know by now traps are physics-based in Oblivion, and aren't disarmed with the 'Security' skill. To disarm them you throw stuff at them in order to set them off etc.

Personally, I'd much rather it be dependant on the 'Security' skill. Messing around with physics might be fun, but it removes character skill entirely from disarming traps and means that every character, regardless of build can disarm traps in exactly the same way.

You're a Warrior? Throw that rock at the trap to set it off.

You're a Mage? Throw that rock at the trap to set it off.

and worst of all...

You're a Master Thief lock-pick expert? Throw that rock at the trap to set it off.

Furthermore, the act of disarming a trap will not cause any of your skills to develop.

Overall, the traps might be fun and add to the element of danger in dungeons, but they're also an aspect of the world that in no way reacts to the character choices that you've made. They bypass character skill and leave it entirely up to the skills of the player.

Similarly, magic staffs in Oblivion are now very much like "guns" that everyone can use to the same level of skill, regardless of class or specialisation as they are not bound to any skill or attribute.

Again, this means that a Warrior will be able to use one as proficiently as a Mage, who will be able to use one as proficiently as a Thief.

Furthermore, the use of these staffs will, again, yield no increase in skills, so whilst it might be great that a Mage can use a staff at the same time as his personal spells this comes with the great drawback of not increasing any skills when using it.

Personally, I think that the 'Enchant' skill should have been left in and been used to govern the use of magic items (and made infinitely more useful than in Morrowind, I might add).

He got this:

Personally, I'm tired of the traditional idea that RPG games have to revolve totally around skill points. Skill points don't make good RPGs, Bethesda make good RPGs.

among the other gems.

 

[Vault Dweller]

What if IGN gives it less than a 9.0 or even a 8.0, underrated?

reviewers sure are harsh with expectations and stuff. cause I mean Bethesda worked so long to provide so much most other RPG developers would never even dare to develop.

I'm almost afraid to ask what it is.

most of them other RPG developers would just slap a story over rehashed 1980's year old gameplay and use graphics as the main excuse to get them.

:shock:

surely sites like IGN and Gamestop would be fair with TES4, and consider the magnitude of such an achievement!

Yes, I'm sure they will be more than happy to provide a complimentary blowjob or two.

seeing as how easily overrated games can get a 10 or extra points due to nostalgia alone, maybe Gamespot and other websites should take more responsibility for their scores and judgement

Translation: let's throw top scores at everything.

so really a small part of ES4's success depends on how much respect it gets from the top visited sites and subscribed mags.

I've always thought that success depends on good design and quality gameplay, but what do I know about those things?

 

[Vault Dweller]

From the same brilliant mind:

Oblivion isn't reusing the 14+ year old combat systems countless other RPGs and MMORPGs reuse.

attributes are still there but physics and common sense are finally being implemented whereas those other games still use numbers to determine if you actually hit someone OR NOT!!!

(She was the one who decided to make this statement bold)

plus the Gothic games are inferior games, totally. and no where near as appealing or fun.

so I was thinking maybe we can come up with props and objects we can have on hand in real-life while we play the game. and go about balancing what we can carry based on what we simulate what we can carry and stuff.

I know it sounds pretty drastic and insane (no kidding - VD). but it could be fun to try out. even with toy props to simulate objects you wanna pick up and carry along. biggrin.gif

also if you watch fantasy RPG movies like Conan the Barbarian, you can study how much they would carry and leave behind etc.

you should be able to (shoot multiple arrows) at higher levels.

I mean Legolas could biggrin.gif

besides Bows are really nerfed when it comes to stopping power and rate of attacks,

so multi-arrow shots would greatly help that type of weapon.

I fired multiple arrows using a toy bow. and they go pretty far.

 

[Levski 1912]

I'm kinda new to all this terminology, but were you what's called a LARPer?

That does sound truly painful.

You have my pity.

Go google "bloodninja chat log" and you'll see where the "I put on my robe and wizard hat" meme is from.

 

[kingcomrade]

http://www.teamwarfare.com/forums/showt ... 065&page=1

bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

 

[Antiphon]

Go google "bloodninja chat log" and you'll see where the "I put on my robe and wizard hat" meme is from.

Oh, I see, some cyber sex thing.
I suppose that's quite humorous to some, but for me, it failed to bring me out of my zen-like trance of perfected apathy.

Humm...maybe I should start the Porn Codex because any porn that can bring me out of my trance must be good.

 

[callehe]

have you tried tubgirl?

www.tubgirl.cx

really good stuff. should bring you out of that trance of yours.

 

[Futurist]

Ahh... Tubgirl. What would the internet be without you?

Man... Those latest quotes. Are they even worth commenting?

 

[obediah]

Ahh... Tubgirl. What would the internet be without you?

Man... Those latest quotes. Are they even worth commenting?

Speak for yourself. The joy at the thought of implementing the "Conan Encumbrance System" might just be enough to push me into making my own RPG.

Well that and the thought of adding some annoying and vapid cunt NPC named 'Saner'.

 

[Vault Dweller]

Well that and the thought of adding some annoying and vapid cunt NPC named 'Saner'.

Edit: Don't forget to give her the toy bow.