Moss said:
Moss said:
Agh. Turns 1 and 2 of that replay hurt my soul. All of those beautiful, beautiful 5 STR Tomb Guardians just....
standing there while Nekhbrekherek gets gang-banged. Oh, the humanity! (Mummanity?)
Perhaps they are voyeuristic Tomb Guardians
-M
If they'd come closer it'd be their arses that would have taken the brunt.
Legends Outworn vs The Furious Furries
I lose the toss and MicoSelva chooses to kick. As I'm such a brilliant coach, by skills were recognised by the game and my team got another reroll.
Turn 1&2: The Furries make a promising start to the game, Mrasly Mantle picking up the ball on his first attempt. ITZ Fluffy carries on his fine run of form by refusing the opportunity to blitz a hole into Legends Outworn's defensive wall of Tomb Guardians. Nekbrekerekh is the most positive of the Khemri players, blitzing into he Furries half while the rest of the team hold firm. Unfortunately for him, this invites the attentions of Fluffy who promptly knocks out the star player after being given another chance. Elsewhere Plaguebearer badly hurts Jackie Chan, who regenerates his smashed bones.
Turn 3&4: Red Riding Hood makes a feint into Legends Outworn's right flank, drawing Arnold Schwarzenegger out of position while Mrasly Mantle and most of the Furry team move up their right while holding a strong centre, keeping the Tomb Guardians busy. Dolph Lundgren badly hurts Khornage, a dear blow the the Furries who only have Prickly Mantle on the bench, and Clint Eastwood makes a great escape to avoid being pushed into his screaming fans.
Turn 5&6: Seeker KO's Jean-Claude Van Damme on Legends Outworn's right flank, but the main action is on their left as the Furries roll over all opposition, having to slow down to prevent themselves from scoring too early. This gives Legends Outworn a chance to recover, Clint Eastwood getting a -2d Block on Mrasly Mantle but it isn't enough to bring him down. Sylvester Stallone KO's Manboon and moves into contact with the Furries ball carrier.
Turn 7&8: The Khemri players are just too slow and clumsy to stop the Chaos team. Arnold Schwarznegger makes one last gasp attempt to stop a touchdown but he's pushed into the crowd on Turn 8, who kick the Governator in the head until he's KO'd, before Mrasly Mantle strolls in to but the Furries 1 - 0 up.
Half time, and all of the KO'd Khemri players wake up while Manboon keeps napping. Knowing that their team isn't good enough to win by themselves, one of the Legends Outworn fans shoots Brashy Antler with a rock and kills him! The Furries captive Apothecary saves him but it's 9 vs 11 on the pitch with all the half left.
Turns 9&10: The half starts well for Legends Outworn and ITZ Fluffy is stunned by Dolph Lundgren. After that things go to hell - Harrison Ford fails his pick-up and the Furries make an all-out assault on the Khemri cage before they can even move out of their own half. Clint Eastwood does well to pick up the ball but Gish-gors and Plaguebearer both get into close quarters with him.
Turn 11&12: Cunningly noting that the Furries have moved completely into the opposing half, Clint Eastwood dodges into the clear and attempts to throw the ball to the Tomb Guardian, Dolph Lundgren, who's completely free of any defenders - but he fumbles his pass and is then pushed into the crowd by Seeker. Jet Li is badly hurt by Screamer and Steven Seagal is KO'd by Fluffy then Troey Pelt picks up the ball and hands it off to Red Riding Hood, who legs it into the corner away from all the Khemri team: he can score with one go-for-it, but I choose not to. Nekbrekerekh saves Legends Outworn from a certain defeat by stunning Red Riding Hood, but the ball is in completely the wrong place on the pitch.
Turn 13&14: Nekbrekerekh makes up for lost time by picking up the ball and tries to pass downfield to Dolph Lundgren, who's still in the clear - but he's no elf and the ball is fumbled. Screamer picks up the loose ball but Nekbrekerekh steals it back from the Chaos Warrior's hand. Seeker tries to grab hold of the ball, but he fails and it bounces into the waiting hands of Sylvester Stallone(!).
Turn 15&16: Stallone blitzes out from the five Furry players surrounding him, but he's downed by Fluffy who has to sprint to reach the aging star. Seeker is luckier this time and picks up the ball before handing it to Screamer who has a clear route to the endzone. Eager to keep my record of scoring in Turn 16 in every single game... I decide to run it in early this time. 2 - 0 to the Furries. Game over. Well, with two bashing teams it's on until either the ref blows the whistle or one team is filling the injury box - Stallone badly hurts Red Riding Hood to take him to Level 2. Of course, he's now vulnerable to a blitz from Fluffy...
Who kills the fucker!
.... Who then regenerates
Phoenix's Man of the Match:
ITZ Fluffy -
was a huge threat to Legends Outworn and, although he only caused two KO's and that Turn 16 injury, was a great help in taking down the Tomb Guardians.
Clint Eastwood -
made dodges that an elf would be proud of and came close to earning a point for Legends Outworn single-handedly, sadly his pass didn't come off and he couldn't take down Mrasly Mantle.
