From Software Elden Ring - From Software's new game with writing by GRRM

[NJClaw]

I've come to realize that all the people complaining about the post capital hp bloat and getting one shotted are completely right. I'm so sorry for my earlier contentions on this subject and for thinking that people who said things like that were terrible whiners. Please forgive me!

Later, I'll also demonstrate how wrong I was that armour and poise do anything in PVE content.

Spoiler

Commander Niall wanted to summon blizzards and lightning storms, but the disciple of mediocrity doesn't know the difference between a commander and a pizza, so he doesn't care.

 

[Child of Malkav]

 

[mediocrepoet]

I've come to realize that all the people complaining about the post capital hp bloat and getting one shotted are completely right. I'm so sorry for my earlier contentions on this subject and for thinking that people who said things like that were terrible whiners. Please forgive me!

Later, I'll also demonstrate how wrong I was that armour and poise do anything in PVE content.

Spoiler

Commander Niall wanted to summon blizzards and lightning storms, but the disciple of mediocrity doesn't know the difference between a commander and a pizza, so he doesn't care.

Everything looks like a pizza to the man with a pizza cutter.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Man, the last part of Elden Ring is making me consider quitting this game out of boredom. The enemy and boss designs just keep getting worse and worse.

There's a fight up north in the mountains in some spirit cave against the Godskin duo but one at a time, first the apostle then the noble. Holy shit what a boring fucking fight. First you have to run for 10 minutes past all the garbage mobs in the cave, then in the boss room, fight these two assholes who have been designed with the "meatgrinder" school of bosses in mind.

All they both do is non-stop attacks (especially the motherfucking noble) with massive range, aoes, non-physical additional damage, etc. So you are basically forced to do one blow at a time, and defend for 2 hours again while they spam their shit. And of course they have so much health, it takes forever without bleed/other cheese. Meanwhile, one/two mistakes and you die, cause they hit like trucks. And their fucking size and dumbass jumping attacks mess with shield blocking angles, so you can easily get hit for damage even while blocking in the right direction.

I've beaten both of these before as single bosses, but the one after the other thing is just making me lose concentration at some point due to SHEER FUCKING BOREDOM, so I ended up dying 5 times already with the noble at like 5% health. Who the fuck would think a super long boring fight like this, where you are forced to be super conservative would be fun?

It's not the fight itself though, it's just I feel literally insulted by From Software designers when having to deal with this trash. No one normal could've designed a fight like this, this is someone with high degrees of sadistic psychological issues. There is zero fun to be had in fights like these, yet the longer the game goes, the more retarded the boss design gets.

 

[Wunderbar]

It's not that the fight is hard, it's just boring! That's why i keep dying... yes... out of boredom. It has nothing to do with my gaming skillz.

 

[mediocrepoet]

making me lose concentration at some point due to SHEER FUCKING BOREDOM, so I ended up dying 5 times already with the noble at like 5% health. Who the fuck would think a super long boring fight like this, where you are forced to be super conservative would be fun?

So you fell asleep. I warned you about this.

Try pushing some buttons. Or moving. Or ... anything, Mr. Cowering-behind-shield-is-peak-skill-man.

 

[Monstrous Bat]

I've come to realize that all the people complaining about the post capital hp bloat and getting one shotted are completely right. I'm so sorry for my earlier contentions on this subject and for thinking that people who said things like that were terrible whiners. Please forgive me!

Later, I'll also demonstrate how wrong I was that armour and poise do anything in PVE content.

Spoiler

Are you using power stance? I began dual-wielding curved greatswords around Leyndell because of the hp bloat and afterwards I could kill most mobs reasonbly quickly. Except those fucking giant flowers.

 

[mediocrepoet]

I've come to realize that all the people complaining about the post capital hp bloat and getting one shotted are completely right. I'm so sorry for my earlier contentions on this subject and for thinking that people who said things like that were terrible whiners. Please forgive me!

Later, I'll also demonstrate how wrong I was that armour and poise do anything in PVE content.

Spoiler

Are you using power stance? I began dual-wielding curved greatswords around Leyndell because of the hp bloat and afterwards I could kill most mobs reasonbly quickly. Except those fucking giant flowers.

I uh...

Wow.



EDIT: Actually... thank you for the tip. Try watching the video in the spoiler.

 

[HoboForEternity]

Man, the last part of Elden Ring is making me consider quitting this game out of boredom. The enemy and boss designs just keep getting worse and worse.

There's a fight up north in the mountains in some spirit cave against the Godskin duo but one at a time, first the apostle then the noble. Holy shit what a boring fucking fight. First you have to run for 10 minutes past all the garbage mobs in the cave, then in the boss room, fight these two assholes who have been designed with the "meatgrinder" school of bosses in mind.

All they both do is non-stop attacks (especially the motherfucking noble) with massive range, aoes, non-physical additional damage, etc. So you are basically forced to do one blow at a time, and defend for 2 hours again while they spam their shit. And of course they have so much health, it takes forever without bleed/other cheese. Meanwhile, one/two mistakes and you die, cause they hit like trucks. And their fucking size and dumbass jumping attacks mess with shield blocking angles, so you can easily get hit for damage even while blocking in the right direction.

I've beaten both of these before as single bosses, but the one after the other thing is just making me lose concentration at some point due to SHEER FUCKING BOREDOM, so I ended up dying 5 times already with the noble at like 5% health. Who the fuck would think a super long boring fight like this, where you are forced to be super conservative would be fun?

It's not the fight itself though, it's just I feel literally insulted by From Software designers when having to deal with this trash. No one normal could've designed a fight like this, this is someone with high degrees of sadistic psychological issues. There is zero fun to be had in fights like these, yet the longer the game goes, the more retarded the boss design gets.

mimic tear are for the trash mob boss fights so i get it done quickly. there are just too much of them repeating.

actual good boss like malenia and godfrey are fun even if it takes 3 hours each for me

 

[Andnjord]

There's a fight up north in the mountains in some spirit cave against the Godskin duo but one at a time, first the apostle then the noble. Holy shit what a boring fucking fight. First you have to run for 10 minutes past all the garbage mobs in the cave, then in the boss room, fight these two assholes who have been designed with the "meatgrinder" school of bosses in mind.

This is the perfect time to remind you of this: this is an optional fight, you don't need to beat them. It doesn't make the encounter any better, nor does it excuses From's developpers for putting it there, but at least save yourself the sanity loss.

BUT, because I care for you Porky I'll just leave you this warning. You will face the same but worse later on and it will be a mandatory fight. The only clue I'll give is that you might want to resort to a specific flavour of cheese cleverly hinted at by our fellow poet:

you fell asleep.

That will be all.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Beat those 2 fuckers, then some freeze dragon outside, and dragonhold knight dyke. Now fighting some invader type asshole with fire spells and a greatshield. Another annoying fight, he just blocks everything with the shield, then pops out with a fire spell that takes 3/4ths of your life...

 

[Monstrous Bat]

I've come to realize that all the people complaining about the post capital hp bloat and getting one shotted are completely right. I'm so sorry for my earlier contentions on this subject and for thinking that people who said things like that were terrible whiners. Please forgive me!

Later, I'll also demonstrate how wrong I was that armour and poise do anything in PVE content.

Spoiler

Are you using power stance? I began dual-wielding curved greatswords around Leyndell because of the hp bloat and afterwards I could kill most mobs reasonbly quickly. Except those fucking giant flowers.

I uh...

Wow.



EDIT: Actually... thank you for the tip. Try watching the video in the spoiler.

You'll excuse me for not clicking on every YouTube video with an eyecatching title on the internet.

 

[mediocrepoet]

I've come to realize that all the people complaining about the post capital hp bloat and getting one shotted are completely right. I'm so sorry for my earlier contentions on this subject and for thinking that people who said things like that were terrible whiners. Please forgive me!

Later, I'll also demonstrate how wrong I was that armour and poise do anything in PVE content.

Spoiler

Are you using power stance? I began dual-wielding curved greatswords around Leyndell because of the hp bloat and afterwards I could kill most mobs reasonbly quickly. Except those fucking giant flowers.

I uh...

Wow.



EDIT: Actually... thank you for the tip. Try watching the video in the spoiler.

You'll excuse me for not clicking on every YouTube video with an eyecatching title on the internet.

No I won't. But I appreciate that your first thought was to provide helpful advice instead of flaming.

 

[Bloodeyes]

I'm level 67 with probably more than 100 hours in this game and I'm still finding it a bit too hard to be fun. It's a genuinely impressive game but the sheer frustration is stopping me from truly enjoying it. At what point does the getting good happen? Because it's not happening for me. I don't think I've gotten significantly better at this. Higher level, not better.

It's not that I can't play the game. I can play it. It's just that I need to repeat everything I try to do 10 - 30 times before I succeed at it. Maddening. Bosses do so much damage and stagger that I often only get to make one mistake and I'm dead.

I'm also sick of my weapon (+12 claymore) but I can't replace it because I can't find enough +1 and +2 smithing stones. I've got loads of +4 and +5 but the lower level ones have dried up. I hate that system. There are so many weapons. Most of the mini-bosses I fight drop weapons. I can't use any of them because they all do way less damage than what I'm using already.

I don't even want any more weapons. Drop some better armour FFS. I'm still wearing the chest piece I found like 70 hours ago.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Ugh, ran into the Fire Giant. Another horribly designed boss. I mean it looks good, that's probably the only shit From Software cares about, but the fight itself is high end retardation. The camera angle is so bad, it prevents you from seeing his attacks coming, AND they get around the shield regardless. If that wasn't annoying enough, he has fire diarrhea all around. And of course once you get him down to half health, the fucker turns into phase 2, where he rips out his own leg and sticks it up his ass, but somehow that makes him stronger. Logic has never been a strong point for FS, has it...

I'm level 67 with probably more than 100 hours in this game and I'm still finding it a bit too hard to be fun. It's a genuinely impressive game but the sheer frustration is stopping me from truly enjoying it. At what point does the getting good happen?

Don't listen to these "git gud" retards, they are morons who live in their mom's basement. There is no skill involved in Elden Ring whatsoever. You have 2 choices:

1. Die a bunch of times to every fucking boss and hard enemy to learn their attack patterns, and then roll around like a retard to win. This also requires quite good reflexes in ER because a lot of attacks are terribly animated. Use this approach if you enjoy jumping through hoops like a dog.

2. Use a shield like me. Boss raises hand to attack, I raise shield. Boss pauses for 10 seconds to fuck with the rolling crowd above, I laugh, continue holding my shield up. He holds another 5 seconds, to fuck with them some more. I punch him in the face with the sharp end of my sword. He attacks with a 2 frame animation. I laugh again, cause my shield was still up.

 

[Efe]

lv67 is a bit lower for 100 hours.
did you lose runes a lot?
there are dark/red/dark red spots on map which denote mines. try going there you should get first tiers of smithing stone bells relatively easy

 

[Bloodeyes]

Ugh, ran into the Fire Giant. Another horribly designed boss. I mean it looks good, that's probably the only shit From Software cares about, but the fight itself is high end retardation. The camera angle is so bad, it prevents you from seeing his attacks coming, AND they get around the shield regardless. If that wasn't annoying enough, he has fire diarrhea all around. And of course once you get him down to half health, the fucker turns into phase 2, where he rips out his own leg and sticks it up his ass, but somehow that makes him stronger. Logic has never been a strong point for FS, has it...

I'm level 67 with probably more than 100 hours in this game and I'm still finding it a bit too hard to be fun. It's a genuinely impressive game but the sheer frustration is stopping me from truly enjoying it. At what point does the getting good happen?

Don't listen to these "git gud" retards, they are morons who live in their mom's basement. There is no skill involved in Elden Ring whatsoever. You have 2 choices:

1. Die a bunch of times to every fucking boss and hard enemy to learn their attack patterns, and then roll around like a retard to win. This also requires quite good reflexes in ER because a lot of attacks are terribly animated. Use this approach if you enjoy jumping through hoops like a dog.

2. Use a shield like me. Boss raises hand to attack, I raise shield. Boss pauses for 10 seconds to fuck with the rolling crowd above, I laugh, continue holding my shield up. He holds another 5 seconds, to fuck with them some more. I punch him in the face with the sharp end of my sword. He attacks with a 2 frame animation. I laugh again, cause my shield was still up.

I use a shield and a claymore. The idea is to eventually get the stats to use a shield and a colossal sword. The problem comes when I either drop my sword or have my guard broken. I can take some very big hits from very big enemies on my shield, but when an enemy does an endless combo or I'm stupid enough to actually try to hit back I get hit. Sometimes I recover from that and can dodge roll away and drink a pot. Oftentimes I don't recover. I get smashed to the ground and finished while standing back up.

I'm fine against the ones that do big attacks with long pauses, but the pressure fighters take a lot of tries for me to beat. Eventually I have to drop the shield, if only to get stamina back. I think I have 45 poise and something like 25 endurance so I can tank quite a bit. But eventually I need to hit back and that usually means getting punished.

 

[Bloodeyes]

lv67 is a bit lower for 100 hours.
did you lose runes a lot?
there are dark/red/dark red spots on map which denote mines. try going there you should get first tiers of smithing stone bells relatively easy

Damn right I lose runes a lot. This is my first souls game and I'm struggling hard to adjust. I'm not sure if my build is shit or I just need more practice but I still die so much. I'll look for those mines.

 

[Child of Malkav]

Porky, the reason why I think this shit boss fight design made it into the game is because whoever designed this game, whoever had the overall vision of how this game would play, whether it was Memehackzaky or some other unfortunate retard, simply didn't spend a second playing the game to see what is fun, what is not fun, what needs adjusting, what needs removing or modifying etc.
Because if they did, then bullshit like waterfowl dance and other cheap means that all bosses have, would simply not exist. But for that, it would require a sane, honest designer to actually play their fucking product to see what's what.

 

[Bloodeyes]

It's not that they don't play it. They are Japanese and the gooks are better at videogames than us

 

[mediocrepoet]

lv67 is a bit lower for 100 hours.
did you lose runes a lot?
there are dark/red/dark red spots on map which denote mines. try going there you should get first tiers of smithing stone bells relatively easy

Damn right I lose runes a lot. This is my first souls game and I'm struggling hard to adjust. I'm not sure if my build is shit or I just need more practice but I still die so much. I'll look for those mines.

I sympathize. I think Elden Ring would suck balls as your first Soulsborne game and I really like it.

What are your stats? Have you levelled vigor much?
How far into the game have you made it? What areas have you done so far?

Don't listen to Porky, he sucks.

 

[Bloodeyes]

lv67 is a bit lower for 100 hours.
did you lose runes a lot?
there are dark/red/dark red spots on map which denote mines. try going there you should get first tiers of smithing stone bells relatively easy

Damn right I lose runes a lot. This is my first souls game and I'm struggling hard to adjust. I'm not sure if my build is shit or I just need more practice but I still die so much. I'll look for those mines.

I sympathize. I think Elden Ring would suck balls as your first Soulsborne game and I really like it.

What are your stats? Have you levelled vigor much?
How far into the game have you made it? What areas have you done so far?

Don't listen to Porky, he sucks.

Vigor 30 (I want more. But if I take more when will I ever see my build realized? Level 300?)
Mind 14
Endurance 25
Strength 21
Dex 16
Int 10
Faith 18
Arcane 10

I want more STR and END so I can wear my gear. More vigor, more fucking everything really. Just can't seem to get there. I either do monotonous grinding in an area I know or I explore and usually lose runes to a boss or some other bullshit.

Starting class was Wretch. The plan is to become a paladin who wears the heaviest armour and has a tower shield and colossal sword. The idea is I put the minimum STR and Endurance I need to do that then level Faith for the remainder of the game. The problem with this is I drastically underestimated how much vigor and strength I would need to even wield my gear so it's going to take forever. Plus I thought I'd be able to find heavy armour and I can't really. So far just a helm and pants.

Gear is:
Weapon: +14 Claymore (just upgraded it from +12). Uses the sacred blade ash of war. Damage is 206 physical and 235 holy. Seems like most things feel it when I hit them. If I hit them.
Secondary weapon: Crepus's Black-Key Crossbow +4. I use this to draw enemies away from the pack so I don't have to fight them all at once. I don't fight with it. The damage is shit.
Finger seal +5
Shield: is Brass shield +2. Not sure if the +2 even does anything. I don't attack with it. Probably a waste of stones.
Helm: Greathelm (I have banished knight greathelm but it makes me heavy)
Armor: Godrick knight armour (So sick of this. I found it ages ago and I don't like how it looks. But it's got better stats than anything else I've found)
Gloves: Knight gauntlets (Still haven't found anything with better stats. I've had these longer than the armor)
Greaves: Banished knight greaves (thought I would eventually get a whole set of this stuff. Don't know how many thousands of hours that would actually take).
Seals: Green turtle talisman (+ Stamina recovery), Arsenal charm (Needed to stay medium) + the health charm I started with (mistake, should have got a golden seed).
Spells: I have them. Don't use them much. I want to, but it will be a long time before I get my required stats for gear. If ever.

As far as exploration goes It looks like I've explored maybe 3/4 of the map. I haven't beaten all the bosses I've found. I can't beat the two pumpkin head guys. I can't beat the crucible knight in redmane castle. I can't beat the lava dragon in Gael tunnel. Most other things I eventually beat using tactics similar to what Porky described. There's more to it than he says though. You have to manage when you drop your shield and you do need to roll out of the way a lot. Also need to figure out what direction to move in while blocking for a given enemy. Staying still is usually death, even with a shield. It's a playstyle that seems to suit me, given that I can't usually follow the chaotic and endless combos bosses put out.

But sometimes it's just like nothing works because a single mistake so often leads to death. Aggressive bosses make it so damn hard to recover. Once you're staggered or downed you're all too often fucked with no chance to even heal. I've spent my entire Saturday trying to beat the crucible knight. Best I've done is get him to half health. It was a horrible way to waste a day off and I only get one more.

I'm at the point where I think I will give up soon. I don't have time for things I don't enjoy. I spend my whole week doing something I don't enjoy. This is supposed to be what I look forward to and it fucking sucks. Elden Ring sucks. It sucks because it's too hard and that makes it not enjoyable to play. It's not poorly made, it's just difficult to the point of being stupid. Difficult for the sake of being difficult. I don't know what the FUCK everyone is talking about. Every goddamn asshole on the internet loves this stupid game.

It has a lot going for it: Great aesthetics, good sized open world with creative, hand crafted areas. Atmosphere, style, functional RPG mechanics that seem relatively resistant to minmax shenanigans.

It lacks: Decent UI, journal, story, real quests and fun combat. I like challenging combat but this is fucking ridiculous.

 

[NJClaw]

I've spent my entire Saturday trying to beat the crucible knight. Best I've done is get him to half health. It was a horrible way to waste a day off and I only get one more.

If you have a very limited amount of free time and don't enjoy beating your head against a wall over and over until it cracks, this might not be the best idea for a first introduction to souls. Play the other games first. Most of them are better (and easier), and they'll teach you many things that will greatly help with ER. Having played Dark Souls 3, ER basically feels like a giant expansion, where everything you learned in the rest of the series still applies 1:1.

 

[NJClaw]

I'm not going to buy more of these games to train me to play this one.

I mean, you do you, but you shouldn't play previous souls only because they would train you for ER. You should play them because they are legit masterpieces.

If you enjoy the aesthetics and style, Demon's Souls and Dark Souls 1 offer something arguably better, but with only 0.5% of the "aggravation". In the time that any random ER boss has finished up five full combos, an enemy in DS1 hasn't even finished his first attack.

Also:

I just had another few goes at that fucking crucible knight. Absolute bullshit.

The more painful a boss is, the better it feels to bully him once you understand the game:

 

[Vibalist]

Bloodeyes

2 pieces of advice before you quit:

1. Don't split your build between two 'main stats' - you mentioned going into both strength and faith. Go into one of the two instead. I also had a strength/faith build, but halfway through the game I respecced into pure faith, and got much better.
2. Use a weapon with a powerful ash of war. For faith builds, the blasphemous sword (that you get after killing Rykard) absolutely decimates weaker mobs and some bosses.

I understand your frustration, but sometimes it is a matter of minmaxing and optimizing your build a bit.