Fallout 4 Pre-Announcement Bullshit Thread [GO TO NEW THREAD]

[AN4RCHID]

Morrowind was a very ugly game, but in a kind of charming lo-fi way, not in the no-artistic-vision way that Oblivion was ugly.

 

[Lancehead]

Morrowind had ugly faces and awful animations but the environments were beautiful.

 

[undecaf]

They were funnily grotesque to look at, the "I-have-a-pinecone-in-my-asshole" animations, but they never really bothered me so much that it would disturb the gameplay experience.

 

[set]

Oblivion has a lot of nice architecture though. And Shivering Isles? I'm still kind of weirded out by how http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-zH2pKNa_k that expansion was compared to the rest of Oblivion and Skyrim. Granted, I got bored of it and never finished it, but I enjoyed it for quite a while unlike certain other main quests (note: I've never finished Oblivion's or Skyrim's main quests either and can't believe there are people with enough tenacity to do so). The main problem with Oblivion is its disgusting actor models and lightning. The lightning is something that still baffles me to this day - I don't even know how to describe it, but it's like everything has a plastic sheen. Or maybe it's just lathered in cum or something, I dunno.

Skyrim is just boring to look at, not ugly. Especially in the city content - less than ten buildings qualify as a city, none of the buildings are particuarly interesting. The best city is Windheim or whatever it's called, but it's not nearly large enough or interactive enough to be immersive. I wish you had the option of nuking Whiterun. Someone should put a mod in for that.

Actually, in comparison to Skyrim, Fallout 3 is definitely better. What kind of choices do you have in Skyrim that matter? Zilch. At the very least, FO3 gives you some token choices, like letting you deal with Tenpenny, or blowing up Megaton. Granted, these are generally stupid or ultimately poorly executed in the end, they are at least more dynamic and interesting than Skyrim - where everything is so static and invulnerable and dull that it can hardly motivate you to do anything other than run the fuck away. Most of my vanilla Skyrim playthrough was exploring dungeons, because the cities were so bad and so awful and so boring and dull and lifeless I wanted nothing more than to whack things for a few hours and see if something interesting might be buried underground somewhere.

Sadly, no.

I actually think FO4 might be better than Skyrim, under this same notion. As long as Bethesda remember that "Fallout equals Choices" or whatever it was that prompted them to let us have at least one alternative option for dealing with a city, it will at least be more tolerable than Skyrim, even if they scrap all of the mechanical ways of roleplaying, if they let the world shift even slightly by our whims, it will be a better experience than Skyrim.

 

[Onholyservicebound]

Using face mods would be a grave insult to it.

I like it...

Same, I get the lorefags whining though, it is a bit too clean. Maybe if it was reserved for the upper caste, but I never played Morrowind so I don't know how the gender roles work. Do the womynz go to war and shiet? Or do they stay in ye old kitchen? Still, I appreciate that the artist kept things like the eyelid wrinkles, the nose bridge crease, and the extremely deep brow ridge, seeing as ESO dropped pretty much anything that could distinguish elder scrolls elves from generic tolkein elves; fucking faggots.

Still looks like she could kick the shit out of an Oblivion dark elf:

 

[Curious_Tongue]

Using face mods would be a grave insult to it.

I like it...

Same, I get the lorefags whining though,

It's not just the lorefag in me that whines.

Hair, makeup, skin, EYES... This is a mod to make Morrowind accessible to females.

 

[Onholyservicebound]

No, I don't think so, the fantasy genre has always been full of super attractive and unrealistic women, and I don't think it's to make it accessible to females. If anything females seem to whine the most about this kind of thing. Females made it so barbie had smaller tits and bigger feet, females are first in line to complain about unrealistic fantasy armor. Females bitching about how Lilith in Borderlands was too sexy, skimpy, and heavily made up are why they added this thing to the second game:

And so heavy handedly beat us over the head that fat whales can be just as pretty as hot women.

 

[General Maxson]

*This* is hot?

 

[Onholyservicebound]

According to Borderlands 2 it is.
The brave knight is black and the damsel is fat, so progressive.

They did make a joke related to him being the white knight class though lol.

 

[Stompa]

And so heavy handedly beat us over the head that fat whales can be just as pretty as hot women.

Huh? I'm pretty sure there wasn't anything like that in the base game. Like, the most that I can remember fitting your description was that tidbit about clan of rednecks wanting to make her their clan-wife, but hey, they're silly rednecks.

Of course, later Burch just had to fag it up and go on about how she is "realistic"

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

No, I don't think so, the fantasy genre has always been full of super attractive and unrealistic women, and I don't think it's to make it accessible to females. If anything females seem to whine the most about this kind of thing. Females made it so barbie had smaller tits and bigger feet, females are first in line to complain about unrealistic fantasy armor. Females bitching about how Lilith in Borderlands was too sexy, skimpy, and heavily made up are why they added this thing to the second game:

And so heavy handedly beat us over the head that fat whales can be just as pretty as hot women.

Females are the first to complain about realistic fantasy armour too :/ .

By the way, I love hove the devs can't into anything other than grotesque vulgar pandering. How about making a character based on a fat person that could actually move in real life?

 

[Onholyservicebound]

And so heavy handedly beat us over the head that fat whales can be just as pretty as hot women.

Huh? I'm pretty sure there wasn't anything like that in the base game. Like, the most that I can remember fitting your description was that tidbit about clan of rednecks wanting to make her their clan-wife, but hey, they're silly rednecks.

Of course, later Burch just had to fag it up and go on about how she is "realistic"

Throughout the entirety of the quest she goes on a rant about how she accepts herself the way she is and that her mother is a bitch for trying to get her to not be 5000 pounds. Maybe it was just all of the articles that made it seem so "heavy handed", but there's a quote about how the hodunks are pussies for liking skinny chicks. Anyhow, Borderlands 2 as a whole really overdid the inclusiveness.

 

[set]

Characters should be true to themselves, but let's not play games trying to generalize the blame.

It's unfair to say that "females" are responsible for BL2 or any other game. There are plenty of 'white knight' men whining about armor aesthetics. And about armor not being "realistic" in general. Hell, as a dumb kid, I used to whine about the same things, "In real life you have to reload your gun, that's not fair!" I'd say after being killed in older games like Doom, never questioning my conviction, even though realism really has nothing to do with the 'funness' of a game like that.

I'd say everyone is tired of the same generic staples that we see in games. As AAA games consume the market, these games have more and more generic characters and stories, in vapid attempts to appeal to the broadest demographic.

If a fat chick is thrown in a game just because she's fat - and her whole story revolves around this - then we've accomplished nothing. We've shifted skinny with fat, but are still just appealing to our base instincts - there's no study of what it is to be beautiful, and let's be honest, games probably aren't the best medium to accomplish this in (unless the entire game's mechanics are about beauty). Developers just need to be called out on for "not trying" - and this goes in all fields that aren't graphics - be it AI, narrative, aesthetic design, mechanics... They think they can't innovate, or they just want to build the bare minimum, or play "follow the leader". It kind of misses the point too, although I could never find a whale of a woman physically attractive, I would want to play as one, if she had fun abilities to use, and a good theme in the game's world - I'd totally play a fat barbarian woman, or a sumo wrestler woman, with fun physics based attacks or something. The lack of playable fat characters in BL is far more telling than some token NPC.

 

[Lhynn]

Age of wushu going to have a beauty measurement mechanic for female characters

 

[Night Goat]

Borderlands 2 really needs a scene where that buttergolem has a coronary.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

It's quite obviously supposed to be humorous. You guys never met a fattie who thinks she's super hot?

And the female character in BL2 is almost identical to the first one, anyway.

sure is inclusive here

 

[Major_Blackhart]

I like fat chicks sometimes.

 

[Chaotic_Heretic]

fat chicks? sure. Not a baby whale.

 

[DeepOcean]

No, I don't think so, the fantasy genre has always been full of super attractive and unrealistic women, and I don't think it's to make it accessible to females. If anything females seem to whine the most about this kind of thing. Females made it so barbie had smaller tits and bigger feet, females are first in line to complain about unrealistic fantasy armor. Females bitching about how Lilith in Borderlands was too sexy, skimpy, and heavily made up are why they added this thing to the second game:

And so heavy handedly beat us over the head that fat whales can be just as pretty as hot women.

Man, I played the game and she is just a joke about rednecks. There is a few jokes about the rednecks sense of what is sexy and about she being self counscious about her weight. I don't know where you are seeing this thing of the game beating over your head about fat whales being pretty as hot women.

 

[DalekFlay]

They always give fat chicks big tits. The real horror is fat chicks with no tits, who do exist.

 

[set]

I'm doubtful about that. Really? How could a fat person's weight not go to their breasts at some point? You've at least got a B-cup I think, if you're medically overweight.

But I'll take your word on it because I really don't want to see any pictures.

 

[Onholyservicebound]

They always give fat chicks big tits. The real horror is fat chicks with no tits, who do exist.

That's not true! That's impossible!!! But seriously though, I've never heard of that, I wouldn't call those breasts to begin with, but I've never seen a woman that size with no chest.

It's quite obviously supposed to be humorous. You guys never met a fattie who thinks she's super hot?
And the female character in BL2 is almost identical to the first one, anyway.

And the gay characters being almost equal to the straight characters in number is also funny. I'd be more inclined to take it that way if they didn't do a bunch of interviews claiming how progressive they are.

It's funny that you say that about maya, because Gearbox was also proud that her design was pretty but unique, without being generic like lilith. They gave her a mature face. (Long pointy face with longer nose and skinny eyes.)

Still looks good, but not much like the fanart you posted.

 

[Scruffy]

They always give fat chicks big tits. The real horror is fat chicks with no tits, who do exist.

oh my god i've seen a couple of those
it's sad, really
i mean, the ONLY perk of being a fat chick is the big boobs
but those fat chicks with no boobs are just sad to look at

 

[DalekFlay]

I'm doubtful about that. Really? How could a fat person's weight not go to their breasts at some point? You've at least got a B-cup I think, if you're medically overweight.

Well I mean an A or B cup. When your breasts are that size and your belly sticks out to fucking China it makes you look pretty retarded.

 

[Infinitron]

Fallout 4 Hoax Creator Breaks Cover, Explains Actions

Plenty of people try to pull fast ones on the general gaming populace. Very few of them sit down for a pleasant fireside chat afterward. And yet, that’s exactly what the disappointment wizard behind infamous Fallout 4 “teaser” site Survivor 2299 did in the wake of a freshly canceled hoax campaign. Going by the name DCHoaxer on Reddit, he hosted an AMA that revealed why he did it, how much it cost ($990!), and what it was originally going to culminate in (a full-blown CG trailer). Hoaxcrafters and pranksters the world over, meet your new god.

So, first up, why go to all this trouble in the first place? Well, DC had a surprisingly well-meaning plan:

“I wanted to force Bethesda to reveal something during VGX on 12/11, and bring the /r/Fallout community together (for at least 3 weeks) Unfortunately, this plan Failed.”​

Good intentions? Maybe. Er, kinda? But also some very flawed reasoning. Leaks prompt early reveals. Hoaxes prompt, well, pretty much what Bethesda did.

As for that CG trailer, a chat with Bethesda apparently “killed his plans.” He added, however, that he’ll release it later, once the publisher has removed its quavering finger from the proverbial big red button. “I’ll do it after 12/11 on my website,” he wrote. “Let things cool off a little. I don’t wan’t to piss off Bethesda at this time even more.”

Also, in case you’re mad, DC acknowledged that he’s a “prick,” “asshole,” and a “douche,” so he covered pretty much the full spectrum of colloquial self-deprecation. He’s also received 14 death threats, because the Internet turns human beings into complete psychopaths.

So there you have it: the aftermath of a perhaps overly elaborate prank. Fallout 4 remains officially unannounced, Fallout fans’ jimmies have officially been rustled, and I have officially exposed “officially” as a largely meaningless word in most games articles. Have a good one, all!