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Many a year had gone by since I went
To listen to that ancient troll's lament,
Bewailing the death of all he held dear,
Like RPGs, C&C, stats, and beer.
All of the good things has been thrown away,
Replaced by horrors from the likes of Michael Bay.
But, so much had changed in the years gone by,
Surely that troll's anger could at last run dry.
Real RPGs were being made once more,
Incline at last, with Kickstarters at the fore.
So, I went again before that ancient troll,
To inform him of the death of popamole.
He laughed when I told him, and his laugh was bleak,
And for a long time I did not dare to speak.
"Do tell me of these great new RPGs.
Because I am sure in the mood for a wheeze."
So I told him, I did, of all the had come,
Of Kickstarters all earning a goodly sum.
But he sneered at me and shook his head,
"Dear me, but you are so easily led.
"Name me all these game that should fill me with glee.
I'll make it easy for you, just name three."
Well, to that plea I immediately accepted.
For my chosen games were already selected.
My first choice no one could fail to like,
Even this male troll who looked like a dyke.
Critics agreed this game totally rocks,
Best part of all, there was even a box.
He sniffed.
"One sec. Something greasy's stuck to my shoe.
Smells like I stepped in some big pile of poo.
Oh no, wait. It's just this box of Wasteland 2.
"I must say it was such a hoot
To win combats by simply selecting 'shoot'.
"It's play like some faggy Final Fantasy clone,
Or some console shooter on the Xbone.
"With foes that just run at you in a heap,
It's more like you're just sitting and shooting at sheep."
He halked and spat a huge wad of yellow bile,
And snarled, "Yep, there's what I think of inXile."
Well, I can't say I wasn't disappointed,
That this troll's reply had been so pointed.
But I was far from defeated with that,
My second choice was sure to not fall so flat.
This next game had garnered so much fame
That surely no one could claim it was lame.
Everyone said it's combat was so full of win,
Such was the game called Divinity: Original Sin.
When the troll heard, he claimed I was tokin',
Or else I simply must have misspoken.
"You know, it's been a very long while
Since I've read shit that was so juvenile.
"Plus it's so bound to the tyranny of choice
That nothing else ever really gets a voice.
"And thus the fun soon reaches the end of the line,
The gameplay broken long before you reach level nine.
"Larian only gets so much less crap than they deserve
'Cause everyone grades them on such a great big curve."
I was indeed disappointed, it was true,
To have my choices treated like so much dog doo doo.
But I let that disappointment fade into the past,
Because I had always saved the best for last.
The one game that was loved by one and all,
No one could hate it, no on had such gall.
And so I presented the best of the best,
The game that would finally put the troll's anger to rest.
But the troll did not even look at the box that I held,
And he turned from me as if he were impelled.
"No, I will never look again upon that game!"
And the hurt in his voice put me to shame.
"Every time I see it, I hear the bell
Of Sawyer and Roguey's marriage in hell.
"Who would have thought that Pillars of Eternity
Could be so broken by Balance and modernity.
"No xp. No fun. And no hard counters.
No death. No good builds. And overpowered ciphers.
"That's all it is," he said and laughed bitterly.
"Just a burning skull face and my misery.
"And I really hate it when others think it's so funny
That I gave Obsidian so much of my money!"
Which might have ended my quest, as sad as it is,
I had stuck out thrice on this troll's little quiz.
But I would not so soon give in to despair,
Not with more good games of which I was aware.
There was no reason for me to peeve
For I did have one last card up my sleeve.
I told him there was one that must meet even his lofty goals,
A magical game which was called Dark Souls.
And that ancient troll did then frown long and hard.
Which told me I had at last bested him with my trump card.
But the troll said nothing, and the silence grew long,
And I began wondering if I might not be wrong.
If there was something here that I had failed to see,
And I realized then that that troll was frowning at me!
"Challenging and well-designed, which I have to respect,
But call it an RPG, and I have to object.
"After all these lean years, there's little left to define
All of this land which used to be mine.
"The only thing left to define RPGs still
Is the difference between player and character skill.
"Take that away, and you know who will win."
And here he gazed out at that great sea of sin.
"They will. And then it is they who will define RPG,
And it will have nothing at all to do anymore with you or me.
"You know damn well their definition will be full of jizz,
Like 'Whatever I feel an RPG is.'
"And on that day, it will become a given,
The bestest RPGs are Halo, Call of Duty, and Oblivion.
"After all, how can calling Dark Souls an RPG be fair.." He sniggered.
"When the best way to play is to run around totally bare."
I honestly could not believe what I was hearing,
All of these reputations he was so ruthlessly tearing.
But as sad as it was, so totally grim,
These were still not the dark dire days of Skyrim.
There was one last game of which I had heard tell,
And many they were who thought of it well.
With this last game, there was no chance to fail,
For I spoke of the greatest of all, Underrail.
Yet upon hearing the name, the troll did not smile.
Rather he laughed, mirthlessly, for a long while.
"On early access. Yes, I'm sure you're excited to pay
For something that might even be finished one day.
"Believe me, you would be right to beware
Something attempting to claw it's way out of there.
"Who could've guessed ea'd be more like a pit
Filled with faucets endlessly pouring out shit. Oh that's right, it was me.
"With ea, no one seems able to take the hint,
The devil is always there in the fine print."
He sneered down at the sea.
"Now, while calling Gabe the Devil is an exaggeration,
It's only 'cause the Devil acceded his throne to the good Lord Gaben
And then he turned his sneer back upon me.
"Just join them, why don't you, it's totally clear,
Your place is with them, not with me up here."
I covered my ears and refused to here it,
These words that so cruelly sought to crush my spirit.
I would not falter, I would not bend,
I would prove that things were on the mend.
I proudly stood to my fullest height,
And shouted at that troll with all my might.
Everyone knows there's no more need for tears,
Kickstarter will save us all within the next few years.
Today, the popamole is done,
And today, it is we who have won.
But to this, that ancient troll did just cackle
In a way that would raise anyone's hackle.
Then while guzzling the last of his eighteenth beer,
He drunkenly stumbled and fell to his rear.
And he roared out as his butt hit the floor,
"Guess who just announced they're making Fallout 4!"
I would actually welcome the change if they moved to a more linear gameworld.... if that meant they added more detail, better FPS mechanics and had logical locations that explained where they got food and water. I doubt that will happen though, so far it looks like more like a theme park than any other Beth game to date. It's also kinda sad how they are stuck in this 'everything in wasteland' mentality. I liked the almost fully restored cities in some areas of F2 and NV. 100 years after the apocalypse if you don't have a division between the rich and the poor and at least some progress in technology, then you fucked up.
FO3 an FNV got critical acclaim from mainstream media, combine that with the fact that we're talking about "if it ain't broke don't fix it" Bethesda and any significant changes seem unlikely. Linear is too drastic of a change in my opinion unless by "linear" you mean denser.
Haven't read the thread since I'm sure it's full of hysteria, have I missed anything I should care about?
Any source with actual information? Reading IGN makes me feel gross.
I laughed when I read it was going to take place in the stupid Commonwealth from that one anachronistic android mission in Fallout 3. I guess in a way I'm glad they're taking it in a direction that really, really has nothing to do with the original games.
FO3 an FNV got critical acclaim from mainstream media, combine that with the fact that we're talking about "if it ain't broke don't fix it" Bethesda and any significant changes seem unlikely. Linear is too drastic of a change in my opinion unless by "linear" you mean denser.
FNV was what Fallout 3 should have been, half the quests and the entire storyline in FO3 don't make any sense. Terrible everything and the only good thing about it was that they gave Obsidian the engine to make New Vegas.
The price is offensively high for us brazilians. Can anyone explain to me why it costs so much, even though all other new releases are priced fairly? The price point we've been most commonly seeing is around 42 USD ( ~ R$ 130) or below. FO4, however, is priced at R$249, which translates to 80 USD.
TW3, for example, has the currently normal price (it used to be lower, but what can we do):
I doubt it'll sell very much here at that price point, but if it does, I'm afraid of the precedent it might set. Don't worry guys, I'm obviously not buying this, even if it was priced fairly. Maybe when we have a sale and it reaches an absurdly low price point.
I doubt it'll sell very much here at that price point, but if it does, I'm afraid of the precedent it might set. Don't worry guys, I'm obviously not buying this, even if it was priced fairly. Maybe when we have a sale and it reaches an absurdly low price point.
Due to Bethesda's coding quirks, Radiant AI actually transforms into the world's most powerful self-learning neural network when paired with Portuguese dialogue. The word "mudcrabao" in particular seems to activate its immense powers.
Witcher 3 had a release date... that got shuffled multiple times. People were preordering it as early as NINE MONTHS in advance. FO4 will probably be out by the end of the year.