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mediocrepoet

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The manager here has a lazy eye and it's incredibly difficult not to look at it if I look at his face.
Which eye do you meet?

But yeah, that's always disconcerting. I know a guy who has glasses that correct it, but if he's not wearing them or looks at you over them, it's like he's looking at you and the wall at the same time.
 

911 Jumper

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A number of funny replies in here. Sorry can't react to them, especially those who directly replied to my posts, as I don't have access to Reactions at the moment.

Regarding eye contact: I have no problem making eye contact with a woman regardless of how attractive she is IF there is a good reason for me to be interacting with her, e.g. dealing with a sales rep or a librarian.

But actually making contact with women out in public? I avoid it unless I absolutely have to e.g. moving out the way in an aisle at the supermarket. Even in these instances the eye contact is brief.

I should say I generally avoid making eye contact with people in public as I live in an inner city area and looking at someone here can be interpreted as an invitation to start a fight. In the city I live in, people have been stabbed to death for looking at someone “the wrong way”. So I avoid it. It's how I've been brought up – I suppose it's called being streetwise.

But back to women. I just don't see the point in locking eyes with women in public. Most of the time, it makes women feel uncomfortable, especially if they do not find you attractive. I suppose if you are into casual encounters, making eye contact with women may lead to something. But even then the chance of that happening is extremely slim. Most women will just think you are a “creepy” man.

Imagine you found out Sukhāvatī was actually a qigong-loving blonde who looked like this:
qigong-chinese-meditation-and-sport-training-outdoor-fit-blonde-girl-is-meditating-outdoor-near-chinese-arbor-2JDKWXE.jpg

You'd be ashamed of your words & deeds
Brunettes>blondes
When I was younger I thought the same. But now I think [natural] blondes are prettier. Problem is most of the blondes walking around today get their hair colour out of a bottle. I am not fond of dyed hair.

But Blondes generally turn more heads. That's not to say there aren't attractive brunettes out there. There could even be some right here on this forum.
 

Theodora

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But back to women. I just don't see the point in locking eyes with women in public. Most of the time, it makes women feel uncomfortable, especially if they do not find you attractive. I suppose if you are into casual encounters, making eye contact with women may lead to something. But even then the chance of that happening is extremely slim. Most women will just think you are a “creepy” man.
That is more continuous staring (assuming t's not an obviously mutual thing). Can't think of any friends getting upset because a guy made eye contact with them, but it's just plain weird and disconcerting when you have someone unilaterally staring at you for a significant stretch of time.
 

mediocrepoet

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Why do people find eye contact so hard outside contexts of guilt? Always just seemed a part of polite conversation to make eye contact with someone.
Guilt for an unrelated thing. Or self-consciousness in general.

Ultimately, it's a low valuation of the self and a fear of being judged.

It's important to make eye contact and then keep eye contact until you prove that you're the alpha and they scuttle away in shame.

11339.jpg
 

911 Jumper

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But back to women. I just don't see the point in locking eyes with women in public. Most of the time, it makes women feel uncomfortable, especially if they do not find you attractive. I suppose if you are into casual encounters, making eye contact with women may lead to something. But even then the chance of that happening is extremely slim. Most women will just think you are a “creepy” man.
That is more continuous staring (assuming t's not an obviously mutual thing). Can't think of any friends getting upset because a guy made eye contact with them, but it's just plain weird and disconcerting when you have someone unilaterally staring at you for a significant stretch of time.
For me, making eye contact in public is not really something I do unless I am engaging with a person. If, for example, I am walking on the street and people are walking past me in the opposite direction, I don't look them in the eyes, I look around them. Of course, if a person were to stop me and ask me something, then I'd have no problem making and maintaining eye contact.

Based on what I've heard from other women and from lurking over the years on forums with majority female userbases, most women tend to feel uncomfortable, self conscious, etc. when a man is looking at them (either repeatedly or staring) in public. A fleeting glance is fine, emphasis on fleeting.

But yes personally I avoid it when I can. I don't see the point of making eye contact with random women in public. The more attractive a woman is, the more likely she is already in some kind of relationship. So for me it makes the desire to make eye contact with such women even more bizarre.

I also live in England and the English, and Brits in general, tend to have a more reserved attitude towards eye contact in public (it carries a negative association), so there is that cultural influence, too.
I hear in other parts of Europe, it is more socially acceptable to stare and look at people.
 

Theodora

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Based on what I've heard from other women and from lurking over the years on forums with majority female userbases, most women tend to feel uncomfortable, self conscious, etc. when a man is looking at them (either repeatedly or staring) in public. A fleeting glance is fine, emphasis on fleeting.
Yes, I find it similar to -- though obviously much less threatening than -- a version of seemingly being followed around at night. Someone walking past or behind you for a moment isn't issue, but it's when someone is obviously lingering/loitering that it gets uncomfortable very quickly. (Though obviously it's just as bad as that in an isolated or otherwise empty area.)

It's nbd to notice someone's gaze passing you, but it's very noticeable and disconcerting to have someone repeatedly staring at you (not sure if it's better or worse if they think they're being subtle / trying to hide that they're doing so).

But yes personally I avoid it when I can. I don't see the point of making eye contact with random women in public. The more attractive a woman is, the more likely she is already in some kind of relationship. So for me it makes the desire to make eye contact with such women even more bizarre.
Obviously you shouldn't go around staring at random gals, but in general this attitude seems a bit self-defeating. While there is a degree of people being "objectively" good looking, beauty is subjective/relative enough that it does one no good (and potentially a lot of harm) to assume that everyone one is attracted to is automatically "taken".
 

911 Jumper

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But yes personally I avoid it when I can. I don't see the point of making eye contact with random women in public. The more attractive a woman is, the more likely she is already in some kind of relationship. So for me it makes the desire to make eye contact with such women even more bizarre.
Obviously you shouldn't go around staring at random gals, but in general this attitude seems a bit self-defeating. While there is a degree of people being "objectively" good looking, beauty is subjective/relative enough that it does one no good (and potentially a lot of harm) to assume that everyone one is attracted to is automatically "taken".
Sorry for the late reply – I haven't logged on for almost two weeks and I just saw this. Yes, you do have a point. I suppose I base my attitude on what's common in a city environment, at least in my experience. City life is very casual and cosmopolitan. If attractive women aren't already “taken”, they'll likely be “seeing people”. It's just the way it is in the city.

I should also mention I'm generally not fond of women in the city (despite living in a city all my life). They tend to have attitudes and values that don't align with mine, which is why I don't really bother with them anymore.
I'd much rather be around women who have grown up and live in rural areas. I find them to be far better company.
 

Roguey

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The one involving “Meb”, a Russian, and a Bulgarian. I don't know the specifics. Let's just say 1 female codex member and 2 male codex members. No cups as far as I know.
Someone's feeding you bad info, Meb cohabitates with her girlfriend and would certainly not give that up for two people on a weird internet forum who live far away.
 

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