LARPFEST

[Kz3r0]

B) Re-arrange your formation and focus your fire on Ynnead. The Battlebarges are slow and their technology is ancient. The Eldar and the Bloody-Handed God are a more pressing threat. And this will please the Great God.

 

[Baltika]

A) Attemp to break a brick wall with your head.
B) Assume that the Eldar and Khaine ar the biggest threat, what with their (albeit limited) foresight, dedicated and experienced warriors and a FUCKHUEG battleship that probably launches meganukes from every orifice.
C) Ignore the prissy eldar and focus on the Resistance, with a reincarnated Horus in charge, another three megahuman primarchs, bloodthirsty space vikings, spac wizards, etceterae.
D) Be a prissy, gutless coward.

Sigh. wAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgh

 

[Jaedar]

C
Horus must be destroyed for betraying the dark gods.

 

[Ulminati]

1 (mildly amused) Autarch Elethiomel

Read this as: "1 (mildly aroused) Autarch" and was about to ask what update I had missed.

Also, votan C and

DEVOUR SOUL!

 

[grotsnik]

D. As the old saying goes, a cowardly act is not cowardly if one can desperately justify it to oneself as a brilliant tactical move that will please Tzeentch.

 

[Ulminati]

only horus and VD can devour souls at this point, sorry.

Fuck.

In that case, I vote that our #1 priority is gaining the ability to DEVOUR SOUL for our faction.

Also, does this mean that Horus is really C'Tan, or just that he has a HALO device?

 

[Yaar Podshipnik]

B

Let's try to break the Eldar toy.

 

[Storyfag]

D, I still think Tzeentch, the Lord of fucking CHANGE should be the Great God of Chaos.

 

[Darth Roxor]

“Ah, Warmaster. At least you look marginally more competent than my predecessor. Still...Kind of you to choose your tomb.” – Said Horus with a nod, his face blurring over the holovisor.

That would be 'successor' not predecessor, btw.

Infantry: 1 Radical Inquisitor

Wuuuuuuut? Did I miss something?


Also: C! SLAY FOR THE PLAGUE LORD!

 

[Jaedar]

Infantry: 1 Radical Inquisitor

Wuuuuuuut? Did I miss something?

Hopefully it is a Pheononite called Roderick Mercutio.

 

[Kayerts]

Army lists!

4 Greater Daemons (Fateweaver, An'grath, and the Slaaneshi and Nurgle one)

That seems rather understaffed. Are you talking about the named daemonic champions who stand above the garden variety bloodthirsters, lords of change, etc.? Or is that the entire bunch?

1 Dark Solitaire

:D

1 (very angry) Horus

Okay, I think we've got our battle plan. If we can downgrade Big H's status to "mildly perturbed," we can win this. Order our Lord Sorceror to repeatedly send visions of this to Horus's barge.

 

[Azael]

Infantry: 1 Radical Inquisitor

Wuuuuuuut? Did I miss something?

Hopefully it is a Pheononite called Roderick Mercutio.

Fuck, this is a pickle... Now, La Résistance and Team Faggot aren't really BFF's, but I bet they both hate Khayos more than each other, so sitting back while hoping for them to turn to infighting seems suicidal. Getting the fuck out of Dodge might be the sane option, but sanity is overrated.

B. Fuck the rainbow

 

[DwarvenFood]

voting wwwAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

 

[Kayerts]

A) Attemp to break a brick wall with your head.
B) Assume that the Eldar and Khaine ar the biggest threat, what with their (albeit limited) foresight, dedicated and experienced warriors and a FUCKHUEG battleship that probably launches meganukes from every orifice.
C) Ignore the prissy eldar and focus on the Resistance, with a reincarnated Horus in charge, another three megahuman primarchs, bloodthirsty space vikings, spac wizards, etceterae.
D) Be a prissy, gutless coward.

Sigh. wAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgh

Agreed. I was thinking in terms of:

(A) Herp for the herp god, derp for the derp throne.
(B) Try to kill a god. (Aim for his head?)
(C) Try to kill Warpbane with our Warp powers. (This plan is foolproof.)
(D) Cowardice is the path to power!

None of these options are very attractive, which probably makes sense, since running butt-first into the False Emperor's trap was not the brightest move on Jeremiah's part. I feel like the Eldar and the Resistance are being similarly stupid here; right now, the three weakest factions in the galaxy are about to annihilate each other while the Dragon smirks and the Hivemind burps. Grand strategy doesn't seem to be a big part of leadership training in M43.

All four choices lead to us losing most of our fleet in this battle in the best case; given that we put another fleet under a rogue AI's control, our outlook's not so good. I don't see a viable fifth option, either:

[-] Negotiation is pretty clearly out; the Eldar's official stance on us centers around the phrase "walking sacrifices to Khaine." Horus, for his part, seems unlikely to enter into a pact with Chaos, given how well that worked for him last time. I kind of want to send a vox to Horus and Khaine explaining that they're idiots, though.

[-] Letting our enemies fight among themselves seems out, too, since they both appear to have a bone to pick with us, and we're already engaged.

[-] Trickery: also probably not going to work. I suppose we could drag up Fateweaver and all our Lords of Change and try to create the illusion of a second fleet, in the hope of scaring our enemies into a retreat, but that seems unlikely to work, given that the Eldar will probably just see right through any illusion, and I don't imagine it'd work on Warpbane.

[-] Further stratagem relies on details of the disposition of forces that we don't really have. I'm kind of inclined to try something creatively stupid, like visiting Tzeentch's grave and reopening the god-sized hole in reality he made, so that Slaanesh can emerge from the Warp and personally punch Khaine in the dick again, but that is (again) stupid.

[+] We could just blow ourselves up. (This will please the Aspect of Malal!)

Anyway. On desperate ground, you must do Battle. The Eldar are probably the bigger threat, pleasing the dominant personality of our god seems good, and maybe neutralizing Ynnead will allow for more divine intervention in the rest of the fight. Let's shatter the Sword of Khaine, I guess.

 

[Azira]

No tie-breaker from me

D

 

[Sergiu64]

Voting D as well

 

[Storyfag]

D. As the old saying goes, a cowardly act is not cowardly if one can desperately justify it to oneself as a brilliant tactical move that will please Tzeentch.

D, I still think Tzeentch, the Lord of fucking CHANGE should be the Great God of Chaos.

No tie-breaker from me

D

Voting D as well

Excellent, now there are four of us! We are the voice of Tzeentch still echoing from the beyond!

 

[Baltika]

Flippin' for progress. I like the resistance, so I vote B.

 

[Esquilax]

We CANNOT vote D. Our people will think us weak; we already ignored that Daemon Prince and if we don't engage, it will hurt morale and anger Slaanesh. We cannot look like fucking pussies, goddamnit. I don't care how much you love Tzeentch; he was killed by Brohriman, so fuck him. If he were worthy of worship, then he wouldn't have gotten taken out so easily.

This is the Space Marine saga all over again. What's our goal here? Take out the motherfucking Void Dragon and rule over the Golden Throne. Well, we can hardly do that if people on our own side think that Jeremiah is a pussy and we're divided. We need to draw divine favour, establish unity and inspire terror and devotion in those around us so that we can achieve our goal. You want to make an omelette, you gotta break a few eggs. We have to fight, stand our ground, and gain some divine favour so that we can progress on our goal. Yes, we will take losses, but it is necessary and running away is simply unthinkable with battle at our doorstep.

Turning and running is not something Jeremiah would do; he was EXTREME and collar-grabby even by Space Marine standards, so running away like a little bitch is just some weak shit that is simply out of character for him. So, fellow voters, I have to ask: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?!?!

EDIT: Actually, I'll vote AAAAAAA. I have great faith in the Broclusiarch and I think that Deus ex Machina would save the day, but it seems bros aren't EXTREME as I am. Khorne is just the guy we need to fuck shit up and take the Void Dragon on. Otherwise, B is great as well so we can stick it to those space-elves.

To be fair, it is incredibly bull-headed and dumb, but we weren't exactly tactically brilliant in coming here to begin with. But fuck, anything is better than D. Shit, guys, when do you ever hear about people retreating in goddamn Warhammer? When does that ever work out?

 

[Azira]

seems like Doombreed will get a RENEGADE INTERRUPT, then

M:

 

[Esquilax]

seems like Doombreed will get a RENEGADE INTERRUPT, then

EXTREME

 

[Kayerts]

Makes sense. Daemon princes do love to grab collars.

Edit: Ooh, but if I'd flip-flopped to A, we'd have had a four-way tie. Chaos Completely Divided would have been some sort of special achievement.

 

[Esquilax]

Makes sense. Daemon princes do love to grab collars.

Edit: Ooh, but if I'd flip-flopped to A, we'd have had a four-way tie. Chaos Completely Divided would have been some sort of special achievement.

Hehe. Poor root would be incredibly pissed, it's probably better this way.

 

[skuphundaku]

I vote A

Makes sense. Daemon princes do love to grab collars.

Edit: Ooh, but if I'd flip-flopped to A, we'd have had a four-way tie. Chaos Completely Divided would have been some sort of special achievement.

OK Kayerts, now if you flip-flop to A, A wins.

 

[Kayerts]

Based on that, I'll flop to:

E.) Consult Doombreed for any tactical insights and carry out any battle plan he advises that doesn't involve fleeing. He's our field marshall and master strategist, as well as our most competent ally, and he doesn't seem terribly surprised by this turn of events. Plus, actually listening to him and allowing him to wield power through us will bolster his wavering loyalty, in the event we survive. Spiritual concerns seem less significant than tactical ones here; given the clusterfuck of murder that's about to begin, Khorne/Slaanesh/Nurgle are going to have a pretty good day regardless of how we go about the battle.

That vote makes a four-way tie between A/B/C/D, so I guess Doombreed's preferences will determine which one of those four wins? Although if that's not a valid way to handle my vote, I'll just flop to A. (Esquilax made a pretty good argument, Khorne seems like a good bet when we need a military miracle, and it seems most in character.)