The game now starts with an intro cinematic, which is just a recycling of this old-ass teaser trailer. Git yer deep lores here:
After which we start in this glowing pile of turd again.
Tales are strewn where a god treads, and I mean to glean them.
BEGIN MISSION
This might be an interesting run because as you can see, we're a total limpdick god. Our starting might of 3 will get us wrecked in every fight, though 7 HP might help mitigate that at least a little, and 5 speed is nothing to write home about either. However, with 8 wits we should be able to make our way through the game with conniving diplomacy and cunning stealthery decently safely. Until we run into an angry random encounter.
The other shit we start with won't make our martial life easier too. First, our god skills:
Stories-bones-tell. No real active use, but it'll let us rez dead followers after combat.
Foresight is great for a limpdick god because it'll let us evade a
lot of harm. It has two uses: passive and active. The passive will make a blurb with a hint appear over each option we highlight in an event, hopefully preventing us from falling down cleverly hidden pitfalls and other hazards.
The active, on the other hand, lets you scan any cave, bog or barrow on the map for the bargain price of 1 soul to get a preview of what's inside. With only 1 starting soul, we're not gonna do that just yet.
Next up is our fetch, this time a raven. The raven is a pure utility fetch. It gets you some health back after fights, makes rezzing the god cheaper after he dies, and gives free info on all barrows on the map.
Our starting follower is a skald. In the previous game I think we only got one in the very last update when we were heading for victory, so it'll be nice to give him some more spotlight from the start here. He is a non-combatant and a wimp, which will perfectly complement our limpdick god!
And finally our starting item. Woodbane may look like a big nasty axe, but it doesn't actually give any attack bonuses. It'll prevent us from getting lost in forests, though, which is a huge benefit all by itself.
Alas, you can't give it to the skald to transform him into a WRECKER OF GITS.
I can wield the great gear of old only in song.
So summing up, as you can see we have absolutely nothing whatsoever on us that will be of any help in any fight. Lovely. We don't even have enough gold to hire a fighter or a woodsman to help.
Let's check our surroundings.
Zooming out now provides this fancy minimap-like overview to let us get our bearings easier. I've identified four possible avenues of attack for us.
Route A is
NIGHTMARE level so I'm putting it here only for reference. With three barrows and a cave, it would take a miracle for us NOT to get butchered.
We also have info on the barrows along the way from our raven:
Auspicious!
Promising!
Been there, done that.
Then we have routes B and C. They will both start with a woodstead, castle and shrine.
After that B will head north towards a town and proooooobably for the hillstead close to it.
C will lead to another town and next to 3 runestones - depending on how things go we can even try heading into the big scary cave, though I see little success there, or make a detour into the steading by the cave.
D will also start with a woodstead and castle, then go southward. We'll pass another woodstead, then a town, and finally end up in two barrows.
Since this barrow peninsula is a dead end, we'll have to haul ass back to the town and take a ship somewhere else once we're done with this route.
PICK YER ROUTE OF CHOICE
ALSO, please specify the god archetype for this playthrough. We've already had the GOOD INCARNATION. The remaining choices are PRACTICAL INCARNATION (whatever suits the agenda) and PARANOID INCARNATION (asshole god). Choose wisely!
Oh, the assholes behind this game also decided to disable savescumming, which may or may not disrupt the flow of this LP, but I've successfully dealt with more competent developers in the past.