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In Progress Let's Play: Fallen Gods
- Thread starter Darth Roxor
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2012
- Messages
- 28,667
Yeah let's go
Yeah !
Some gods are benevolent, others malevolent, some just want to have a good time, others still prefer to stick to themselves.
And then there are those...
Those that can't help but act naughty.
A whole world of mortals just for me. Heh heh heh, this promises to be fun!
You have chosen the Way of the (D)ick, so let's see what's in yonder woodstead.
As it turns out, nothing much.
I pick up 2 free churls. We'll need the meatshields really badly.
After that I gossip around a bit for any directions.
Yeah, this is the place we just came from.
At depth 3, we probably could have risked it.
No turning back now though.
Adventure awaits!
Or not, because this is yet another generic settlement with no crisis.
Since I have no gold to hire anyone, I gossip for more directions.
We'll be going here soon, it's at the end of the barrow peninsula south.
This on the other hand is exactly opposite to where we're going. But maybe we'll end up there yet.
Some deep lores
And more deep lores.
Gotta hunt to get the food spent on gossiping back.
Is my adventure over here?
This world sucks. I didn't sign up for all these deep lores.
There better be adventure here!
I said adventure, not misadventure 
With our puny 3 might there's no sense in trying to scare these assholes away. To battle!
And with our puny party, trying to actually engage them would be... a lot less than optimal. These guys are actually total scrublords, and Norse Jesus would have wiped them with just his farts, but Naughty Ninny has veeeeeeery low chances of getting out of this with his skin.
Therefore,
TACTICAL RETREAT!
The enemies all get a single round of free attacks on our party before we can gtfo.
At least this retreat didn't cost us that much.
We continue on to the woodstead.
Seriously? Nothing to do here either?
I get some more tidings. We'll be passing some oldie fella on the way to the barrows.
Aaaand this is way too far to be of interest for now.
But before we move out, I get fresh replacement churls. Try it, they're free!
please be adventure
It's not even worth staying here.
Perhaps we'll get to play a trick on this geezer!
What-ho, buddy.
"Share his meal"? I bet he put LSD in it! I know I would.
Fortunately, we can inspekt the event choices with Foresight now to make sure this old hippie doesn't slip drugs into our porridge.
This blurb appears each time we hover over an option. The first one gives 'Healing', as you can see, the second is 'Lore, Naught', which would suggest a check with two outcomes is involved (wits is highlighted for this too).
Eymund chimes in for the third option, signalling that this is a Words check. Skalds help with Words just like woodsmen help with Woodcraft, and so on.
I figure that I don't really need some boring old man's company right now, so instead I ask for his ancient visdom.
Das rite!
Uhhh, thanks, I guess?
Maybe this'll do us some good later.
I leave the hermit, hunt a bit, then proceed to the barrow downs.
But along the way I run into this PROMISING ADVENTURE!
Blurbs for options:
1. Friend, Blood
2. Friend
3. Naught
The choice seems obvious.
A different god would have care for these people's pathetic whining and tried to right their wrongs. Fortunately, I'm not he.
Sayonara! 
Now what's over here.
Of course.
Absolutely nothing
Moving on...
Free stuff is good! Even if unexciting.
The Hornberk is an A-tier item with a ton of utility. The defence bonus will help Naughty Ninny stay alive in fights (and it increases in forests), the speed bonus is great all around, and it further gives a bonus to Woodcraft rolls.
With the Hornberk and Woodbane, we're now a true woodsman god.
Haulin' ass mode engaged.
WHEN SUDDENLY!!!
Even the raven knows to be a ring-giver.
Bloody magpies.
This arm ring however is very welcome.
Because I can immediately exchange it for a fighter in town. I kick out one of the churls to keep the party hunger lower.
After that, we hire a ship to take us elsewhere. And looking at the map... I'm puzzled where we could actually go, because none of the landings look particularly promising.
I decide to gossip a bit for more directions.
A hole! Amazing!
BO-RING.
Less boring!
Some more deep lore.
We seem to have the most info about the east-northeast part of the map, so I decide to sail there. In hindsight, I probably should have left it for you to decide, but alas.
Off to Eastdock we sail!
Ahhh, the sea.
No time to enjoy our voyage. There is adventure to be had.
I went a bit farther than that today, but this seems like a good place to stop before the update gets too long.
What a shit-show of a start. We've accomplished nearly nothing at all but already managed to waste 20 days. Hopefully there'll be more excitement ahead!
And then there are those...
Those that can't help but act naughty.
You have chosen the Way of the (D)ick, so let's see what's in yonder woodstead.
As it turns out, nothing much.
I pick up 2 free churls. We'll need the meatshields really badly.
After that I gossip around a bit for any directions.
Yeah, this is the place we just came from.
At depth 3, we probably could have risked it.
No turning back now though.
Adventure awaits!
Or not, because this is yet another generic settlement with no crisis.
Since I have no gold to hire anyone, I gossip for more directions.
We'll be going here soon, it's at the end of the barrow peninsula south.
This on the other hand is exactly opposite to where we're going. But maybe we'll end up there yet.
Some deep lores
And more deep lores.
Gotta hunt to get the food spent on gossiping back.
Is my adventure over here?
With our puny 3 might there's no sense in trying to scare these assholes away. To battle!
And with our puny party, trying to actually engage them would be... a lot less than optimal. These guys are actually total scrublords, and Norse Jesus would have wiped them with just his farts, but Naughty Ninny has veeeeeeery low chances of getting out of this with his skin.
Therefore,
The enemies all get a single round of free attacks on our party before we can gtfo.
At least this retreat didn't cost us that much.
We continue on to the woodstead.
Seriously? Nothing to do here either?
I get some more tidings. We'll be passing some oldie fella on the way to the barrows.
Aaaand this is way too far to be of interest for now.
But before we move out, I get fresh replacement churls. Try it, they're free!
It's not even worth staying here.
Perhaps we'll get to play a trick on this geezer!
What-ho, buddy.
Fortunately, we can inspekt the event choices with Foresight now to make sure this old hippie doesn't slip drugs into our porridge.
This blurb appears each time we hover over an option. The first one gives 'Healing', as you can see, the second is 'Lore, Naught', which would suggest a check with two outcomes is involved (wits is highlighted for this too).
Eymund chimes in for the third option, signalling that this is a Words check. Skalds help with Words just like woodsmen help with Woodcraft, and so on.
I figure that I don't really need some boring old man's company right now, so instead I ask for his ancient visdom.
Das rite!
Uhhh, thanks, I guess?
Maybe this'll do us some good later.
I leave the hermit, hunt a bit, then proceed to the barrow downs.
But along the way I run into this PROMISING ADVENTURE!
Blurbs for options:
1. Friend, Blood
2. Friend
3. Naught
The choice seems obvious.
Now what's over here.
Of course.
Absolutely nothing
Moving on...
Free stuff is good! Even if unexciting.
The Hornberk is an A-tier item with a ton of utility. The defence bonus will help Naughty Ninny stay alive in fights (and it increases in forests), the speed bonus is great all around, and it further gives a bonus to Woodcraft rolls.
With the Hornberk and Woodbane, we're now a true woodsman god.
Haulin' ass mode engaged.
WHEN SUDDENLY!!!
Bloody magpies.
This arm ring however is very welcome.
Because I can immediately exchange it for a fighter in town. I kick out one of the churls to keep the party hunger lower.
After that, we hire a ship to take us elsewhere. And looking at the map... I'm puzzled where we could actually go, because none of the landings look particularly promising.
I decide to gossip a bit for more directions.
A hole! Amazing!
BO-RING.
Less boring!
Some more deep lore.
We seem to have the most info about the east-northeast part of the map, so I decide to sail there. In hindsight, I probably should have left it for you to decide, but alas.
Off to Eastdock we sail!
Ahhh, the sea.
No time to enjoy our voyage. There is adventure to be had.
I went a bit farther than that today, but this seems like a good place to stop before the update gets too long.
What a shit-show of a start. We've accomplished nearly nothing at all but already managed to waste 20 days. Hopefully there'll be more excitement ahead!
The eastern shore. Perhaps there will be more excitement ahead.
We begin with this charming little barrow.
Nothing much either, but some options.
Blurbs:
Take their gold - "Gold, Curse"
Make them speak - "Life and Curse, Naught" (highlight wits)
Leave - "Naught"
Second option will take a soul and is unlocked by death lore. I don't like the idea of potentially spending a soul for 'naught', so I go with numba 1.
make me rich
das rite!
Whatever curse there was on this pharaoh's gold, we leave without tripping it.
Next stop: the cave of BIG HOARDS
but as we go there...
zomg
We are not nearly strong enough to tackle a swamp yet, but we'll remember it.
This is the second time the raven got us free stuff in some 10 days. Stupendous!
Let's see what waits down this hole.
spooky
Foresight gives you blurbs in dungeons too, revealing what the next event in the stack will be about. In this case - "A son of the great wolf waits ahead". Onward!
Wood needed.
"Break the bond" and "feed the beast" both give headway, but the former is free and highlights Woodbane, which should be good.
So far so good. Deeper we go.
Never trust a hall of mirrors. There was one in Asses: Hard Reset recently and it was very tricky with radioactive mutants around every corner.
Blurbs:
Seek a way through - "Headway, Wandering" (highlights wits and Hornberk, so it must be woodcraft)
Stare into the stone - "Lore, Delay, Loss" (highlights wits and HP)
I'm feeling adventurous, so let's stare into the abyss. With just 2 hp missing and our stronk wits this should be a delay at worst.
Come roll the dice, take a spin on the-
*record stopping sound*
I'm very concerned about the 'loss' in that blurb, so I decide to reroll. First out of three rerolls at roughly the end of the first 1/3 of the game feels appropriate.
ringa-dinga-ding baby
Victory was never in doubt
"Helm of Awe" - I like the sound of that. Surely we can use it for many naughty things.
Not even that far away. We'll definitely stop by that place.
This lord of thieves also sounds like exactly the kind of guy Naughty Ninny would find a bro.
With that done, we move into the last event of this cave.
More free stuff!
Grandma Gontarsky blesses me from above with great riches!
Some souls for almost no effort whatsoever, neat.
The starsteel sword gives an attack bonus of 1 and further bonuses vs undead and wizards, not bad. Despite our 3 might, our god is pretty well kitted for combat at the moment with the hornberk and this actually.
Might as well stop by here since it's along the way.
Blablabla heard it all before
Sure, buddy, you do you. I'm only here for the free lore.
Eymund plays a sad tune that makes the Ormson's soul a little more at peace.
Funny thing is that with the Hornberk, Starsteel Sword and skald, we're already on one hell of a yuge step ahead for this quest. But we've already won this way last time, therefore it is now haram.
We have the starsteel already, so I think no need to ask of deadblade. Souls are always good, I guess?
We get more info on our brother god, Kim Ill-Sung, who apparently was whacked by angry yokels.
I'll gladly relieve him of his burden in death.
The blurbs for finding him are 'God, Wandering, Naught'. Wits and Hornberk are highlighted so this should be a trivial check for us.
Sup, bro. You seem to be in a bit of a pickle.
'Take his strength' gives blurb 'Soul', 'Bid him speak' is 'Might'.
Given that the latter is not free (1 soul) and is unlocked by death lore it sounds like the superior option. And I really like the sound of that 'Might'
Ho boy, jackpot.
Naughty Ninny has suddenly become a lot less wimpy with that +1 might and all the combat gear, holy shit.
Also, Aithkoping is apparently overrun by commies. I actually considered sailing there, so maybe it's good that I didn't. It sounds like a place where they don't like gods being naughty.
Still, we may just end up there at some point in the future.
Close to Kim Ill-Sung's crater is a man doomed to become Polish. We've heard of him, so let's hear his story.
The blurbs are not particularly promising:
Free him - "Blood"
Kill him - "Death"
Leave - "Headway, Curse"
Naughty Ninny decides to play it safe and whack Varg Vikernes dead.
See ya.
Last stop for today. Finally a town where something's going on.
Greater wonder? Preposterous!
Let's see this outlander post-haste.
Salaam, effendi.
Blurbs:
Sell Eymund - "Gold"
Share tales - "Friend, Shame" (highlights wits, Eymund chimes in, so Words check)
Leave - "Naught"
What shall we do with this foul mussulman, ye codex? We could sell Eymund into islamic slavery, but the question is how much we need the 25 gold over a skald. Sharing naughty tales seems safe enough but costs a day, and simply leaving will do nothing.
Man do I hate when nothing happens, you waste your precious in-game time and don't even get to whack someone? Lame!
Anyway seems like this session grew our power a lot, now semi competent in battle.
As for our djinn friend share tales, lets outwit him.
Anyway seems like this session grew our power a lot, now semi competent in battle.
As for our djinn friend share tales, lets outwit him.
Good idea but depends on the utility of our mortal slave, granted we have plenty of wits so maybe he is useless?
Demo.Graph
Liturgist
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2018
- Messages
- 1,032
It's a pity that there's no option to also sell the churn (churl? whatever the freebie guy is called).
I wonder whether females fetch a higher price.
I've thought we were rping bad guy.
Hey I would have left him there if not for the implicit threat of cursing
What about freeing him to recruit and continue murder thief ways?
Hey I would have left him there if not for the implicit threat of cursing
If a foresight blurb says 'blood', that usually means YOUR blood 
Wow, that's ableist.
Since you voted to be BORING, we'll talk the day away with this heathen.
Zing
Farewell, Ali Baba. Some gold out of this is not that bad of a deal.
"Of the Asshole God and the Shady Trader"
With this done, we can continue northwest. Something however must have borked, because this cave that was supposed to have a lord of thieves, now has a hungry hungry hippo with a b0rken apostrophe.
I decide to pick up another fighter with the gold surplus we have.
And then gossip for more directions.
The bog is still way beyond our capabilities.
Informative.
That's hella far away.
Never trust a wimpy bureaucrat and a churl.
The gossip tanks are spent, so let's hit the road.
There's a runestone along the way, let's give it a looksie.
"Seek her hoard" is "Gold, Naught" and highlights wits/Hornberk. 2 days are pretty steep though.
"Bid Hilda show her hoard" is just "Gold" and highlights Death Lore. 1 soul, 1 day and assured success.
That's a lotta gold.
And finally we make it to the cave.
Spooky!
Oi 'ate wa'er.
"Swim across" highlights might and HP, gives "Headway, Wandering, Death". Fat chance I'm picking that with Naughty Ninny's stats.
"Try to find a ford" is likewise "Headway, Wandering, Death", but this highlights wits and Hornberk, which seems like a much better deal.
Rollin'...
Rollin' on the river.
Onward!
DRAGON TEEF
Right after DRAGON NEWTS
In a cave with a HUNGRY DRAGON
O M G
We've seen this event before, nothing much to do but go on.
The great thing about wits 8 is that you essentially win every stupid check there is, and Hornberk only secures the victory for you with Woodcraft rolls.
Well... let's see what this is about.
Seeing how we don't have fud to spare, and our pathetic party can't hope to go up even against a sick wurm for sure, we can only try to lie our way out. This is going to be a Words check with "Headway, Blood" in the prospects.
Is the wurm going to EAT US?!
Not today, apparently.
The hungry wurm's affair is not resolved, so we don't get the dungeon soul pinata, unfortunately. Let's see what's in yonder shrine instead.
How very sad! Let's go laugh in his face.
Not a whole lot to do here. I could just leave, but that's kinda boring and gives us Naught (tm). Might as well sit by him, right? This highlights HP, which is p. bad, but the prospects are "Lore, Sickness" so surely failing here can't be that bad.
Will it blend?
nope
FFFFFFFFFF
-1 MAX HP? COME ON
And we only got the stupid Songbridge lore out of it, which is GLHF at this point with just 2 souls and 48 days left.
Speaking of which, how da fuk are we at 48 days already, goddammit time flies.
Let's leave this shithole
As fate would have it, we are in need of health and rest atm.
"Bathe" - "Healing". Sounds good to me.
Another day literally down the drain, but it removes the god's sickness and makes our followers happy. Hardly any point to linger, so let's get out...
but why does leaving highlight HP and give "Headway, Rest"...
phew
Guess we'll never know.
This one we've seen before, but might as well visit it again.
What do you say, men? Shall we wreck this party again to get the maiden, or join the festivities and get drunk for the bargain price of 10 gold to get "Lore" as seen in the blurb?
Demo.Graph
Liturgist
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2018
- Messages
- 1,032
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,341
You seem to have enough gold to spare.
Odd that you can't just kill him.
Maybe it moved in and ate the thieves?
You can, but with no settlement around that can sell food (shrines don't) it would take 2 days of hunting and our timer is pretty low.
If you men want I can feed das wurm after we're done at the barrow party tho.
In the sake of solidarity between snakes, let's feed the würm.
BTW is there a way to win through heaps of money ?
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