In Progress Let's Play: Fallen Gods

[Trash Player]

I will d1p this. But it is too niche to sell even with influencer.

 

[Malakal]

Anyway go A then B.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

B

 

[Hag]

No opinion on the path but looking forward our fallen god solving problems with violence.

 

[Darth Roxor]

No opinion on the path but looking forward our fallen god solving problems with violence.

Ah, the Albert Tokaj school of psychiatry.

 

[Jaedar]

B, obviously.

 

[Demo.Graph]

Bees knees!

 

[Darth Roxor]

Spoiler

We start along path B and head towards Sverdgate.

It's a generic stronghold with no surprises. Seeing as we can do nothing here, I ask for some tidings at least.

Deep lore won't take me home, game!

Next bit tells us about the bog witch in the middle of a swamp. We've seen the witch before (and killed her) as Norse Jesus. Maybe we'll end up going there again, though right now we're way too weak.

Seeing no reason to spend more of our meagre food stocks on gossip, I proceed towards Viltshaw the woodstead.

Along the way we spot some carrion, but it's around the mountains and would be too much of a detour. I'll make sure to visit it when we circle around the path on the way back mayhap.

Lol we've seen this one as Norse Jesus too.

Knowing that trouble may be brewing, I pick up more churls to fill out the party.

Slaughtering the heathens again feels enticing, but since we've already done that once, might as well try something else.

Telling them to leave is a god wits check. If you note the highlight on the god's wits, there's another new thingy in this build, where the highlight can be green, yellow or red to denote the difficulty of the check.

Given that we're broke, there's nothing we can do in this village anyway, so why not tell them to gtfo.

As far as I'm concerned, you can all go to hell.

The yokels do not take kindly to these words!

One reroll for the whole game is rough, and there's no way I'm using it here. I wouldn't use it even if we had more.

Well then.

... at least the settlement doesn't close down for good, I guess?

We're in desperate need of any gold, so I go pay a visit to Karringar, dearest of all my friends.

Also failing to get the yokels' attention has upset our churls, which is why I get rid of the extra three I got.

Gotta hunt sum lest we starve.

We've been here before alright.

You can see that climbing up at our wits is a hard check, but I'm sure we'll be fine.

DAS RITE

blablabla

BLABLABLA

I like to hedge my bets. I'll let her live... for now.

8 gold for the price of 1 day (+detour) is not the best of deals but we take what we can.

Gathering 150 gold to win is also going to be rough judging by our current state of finance.

Bro, you try calling a taxi in this economy.

Let's see if we can find more gold among the barrows.

Gold? Best I can do is a random encounter.

Fortunately, woodwights are weaksauce, and comrade eagle begins the fight by sniping one of them to death.

The game now also has propa pain sounds and animations when attacks are made, so the battles feel less like slapfights.

hot

And stay down!

The churls took some beating, but nothing major. Alas, woodland pest control yields no rewards.

As we're about to enter the barrow, this thing appears next to us.

moar liek lame-an-gayer amirite LMAO

Its flesh is flush with stolen life.

'Offer your flesh as bait' is medium speed. 'Let your fetch strike it' highlights nothing. Let's attempt this deep strike.

aw shiet

USELESS BIRB

At least it didn't die. That would have been a ragequit moment.

Bah! Let's see what's over here.

Of course we go in. What's the worst that can happen?

Famous last words!

dun dun dunnnnnn

Hmmmmmmm.

Going for either reward is speed medium. Running away is free.

Had a big dilemma wot do, since more gold could get us a fighter and catapult us to a much better combat state. However, so could the right speshul item.

In the end, seeing that we still have a bunch of barrows left in this part of the map, and they tend to have free gold sometimes, I decide to grab the chest.

come on make me rich and famous

booyakasha

affffff

This... was absolutely not fucking worth it and I should have taken the gold.

I think we had Woodbane before. It's a utility item that stops you from getting lost in forests and not much else. Too bad we didn't have it at the overgrown village.

Mmmmmoving on!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

As you may notice, we are one churl down already. That's because his low morale made him run the fuck away.

Get bent, fake god, I'm outta here!

Fortunately hillwights are not particularly stronger than woodwights, so we should be fine.

Unfortunately one of them howls to summon a buddy in the place of the one sniped by comrade eagle.

Our other churl soon dies while god kills one wight.

Finally a MAJESTIC CRITICAL STRIKE whacks the last wight dead.

this was not

at all worth it

Before going to the next barrow I stop for a day to heal up.

Wightweave's +1HP/day is very welcome.

Now for the barrow.

hmmmmm

what's the worst that can happen AMIRITE

IN WE GO!

Ooooooooooooooooooooooof.

Oh yeah boyz, dis gon be gud.

By which I mean, it's time to run the fuck away

Unfortunately fleeing means everyone gets a free attack on you, but that's still better than dying.

Eat my dust, dust-eaters!

Retreating also costs a day.

but that's still better than dying ok

let's rest and heal before moving on to the next barrow north...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

God has nightmares of dropping the soap which prevent him from healing up.

Another day down the fucking drain

NEXT BARROW COMING RIGHT UP

Why hello there.

There will be something here worth taking.

Taking his stuff is a medium speed check, but that sounds boring. Let's wait for him to wake!

There'll be no fleeing once this fight begins.

PFfrt.

The text suggests a wizard+wolf would be our enemies, and given that wizards are also known to summon shades, this fight is absolutely outside our capacity. Fleeing sounds boring, and I'd hate to waste a day for nothing, so let's stay and learn.

Naisu!

Fighting him here is still not a valid option, especially if retreating is blocked. Guess we'll have to pay up.

It remains to be seen what this will do to us, but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough. Ignore the repeated +1 wits message because this did not give us even more bonus wits.

With the barrow downs almost cleared, I get close to this cave to see if it's a small one. If that were the case, I'd risk exploring it.

But at 5 depth, no way.

Final barrow to be had.

Sigh. Battering the gates is might hard, no sense even trying.

Yeah. This can wait till later, no problem!

La dee da.

Make way for the great god!

SORRY, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, FAKE GOD

Given there's nothing to be done in this place either, I grab some more meatshields.

Our food stock quickly plummets to 0, so I try to hunt for more... WHEN SUDDENLY

AAAaaaaaAAaaaaAAAAAA

CAN I GET SOME BREAK HERE

KILL IT! KILL IT NOW!

WOW

4 FUD FOR THE BARGAIN PRICE OF 1 DAY

FK U

Eagle snipes one churl.

Wasting the other is pure formality.

At least outlaws drop loot on death, even if it's as pathetic as this.

Wots over hier.

Well, so far the practical incarnation is mostly following in the steps of Norse Jesus, because we've seen this event before too.

Although previously it had a different illustration.

Still, last time we saved this guy with Healing Hands. But what now?

- Giving him Wightweave will heal him too. After that we can either recruit him (turbo-woodsman) or ask for his gear.
- We can also beat Amarok's whereabouts out of him. Amarok is this game's not-Fenrir and a victory objective. However, this is a might medium check.
- Or we can just end his suffering with our sword.

What shall it be? If you vote for wightweave, also specify if we should recruit him or grab his stuff.

Also goddamn, it's already been a month of in-game time. Time sure flies when you're getting rekt having fun.

 

[Brancaleone]

Unless Wightweave 'disappears' afterwards, I'd say give it to him, recruit him and then either take Wightweave back from him or, if he keeps it and provides him with regen, use him as your main meatshield.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Yeah, Wightweave is gone if you give it to him.

 

[Malakal]

Well this is gonna end up as a failure run pretty sure...

But heal the guy its our only hope - get strong allies and clear strong locations.

 

[lightbane]

Heal him and ask for his stuff.

 

[Trash Player]

This goes south fast. Not a soul to your name and low on other resources too. Is this the hard difficulty at work?
Take him into your team, there is no other way to recoup.

 

[Damned Registrations]

Having him and the eagle first strike enemies should make for some effectiveness in combat, I say recruit him and hope we can win some fights to get back on track. He'll help with hunting too right? That should save some time in the long run.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Spoiler

You've chosen to heal the guy with our Wightweave.

And then recruit him.

Suffice to say, this pleases me.

Because look at this badfella.

A badfella fitting for a hardmode CHAD god.

And now see what happens when I give him Woodbane...

Oh yeah baby, we're SO back. With a sworn level 3 woodsman, there's no real reason for us to hang on to Woodbane unless we wanna count on it to be useful in some events. Ullin will make a lot better use of it.

On top of his godlike stats, Woodbane will now also give him a universal attack buff, and a turbo-attack buff against woodwights.

Hardly ever do deals get this good

Before we leave, I go to the shrine again.

And pick up a priest.

Because we have unfinished business.

The spells upon these stones are deadly if not carefully undone.

Then better get to work!

This will be an easy wits check for Gest.

gimme gimme gimme

jackpot!

Not bad.

Let me burn that black book!

No, I don't think so. You never know when you'll need an evil book of devilish lore. Besides, Gest is already level 2, no need to get him any further up for now.

With the barrow done, we move on and see if we can best this cave.

Even I have heard that there's a wurm and a woman down here.

The smell of a wurm wafts from below.

STINKY SLINKY

Onward to glory!

@_@



To get through this maze of mirrors will call for WITS.

Specifically, wits easy + Ullin's help (so woodcraft) just to get through. Meanwhile staring into the abyss stone is HP easy + wits medium. Shouldn't be too bad, so I pick that.

mirror, mirror, on the wall

fuk u that's not how it goes

God stands around drooling at his own reflection for a full day, and all that gets him is... absolutely nothing

Could have been worse I guess?

No other option but to press on.

*glare*

Much better!

ONWARD!

We are BESET by scrubby cavewights.

The alpha strike of Ullin + screaming eagle kills two of them before the fight even starts.

After that Ullin flexes a crit to instakill the third wight, essentially soloing this fight.

Das rite.

Achtung: you're likely to be eaten by a grue.

Daring the hall is an easy god wits check. No other option but to do that.

oh look it's another one of those double checks with a million dice

Hesus.

Wasted day + another stack in the dungeon + food loss from wandering means one of the churls is now starving and pissed.

You call that a setback. I call that progress! ONWARD!

Now we are beset by less scrubby cavewights.

Also the churl loses another bit of morale from moving on hungry. I don't expect him to stay and fight.

Yeah, alas this time the alpha strike is nowhere as effective.

As expected, the broken churl legs it as soon as I push start.

I didn't sign up for adventuring on an empty stomach!

Whacks are exchanged

Soon our second churl dies, which is exactly what I wanted him to do at this juncture.

And then we clean up the rest.

We took a few hits back there, but nothing *that* serious. Leaving now to regroup is going to be insanely costly in days, because we'd have to spend a total of 3 to (1) leave the cave, (2) hunt, (3) rest to heal, and (1) would cause immediate starvation and potentially piss off the priest. Better press on and hope for the best.

oh goddammit

"Kill it first" is a god might+speed medium check. "Wrestle the beast" is god might hard.

The odds aren't great and the double checks piss me off but there's nothing for us to do but try and KILL.

oh yeah can't wait for the middling ends

WUT

IT'S THE MAN-BEAR-PIG

Well, the alpha strike gets him good but isn't enough to kill him. Ullin's godlike speed should be enough to seal the deal though.

Poke.

Huzzah!

Oh, we get to loot stuff. That's pretty nice.

Bearleather is an armour piece with some bonuses and drawbacks.

The good news is that it gives us a bonus to threats checks, as well as a bonus to defence and critical hits in combat.

The bad part is that it increases the god's hunger by 1. FORTUNATELY OUR FOOD COUNT IS ALREADY ZERO SO IT DOESN'T MATTER!

We proceed deeper into the final event of this cave.

The thot looks like she's shooting instagram pics rather than being captive, but I don't judge.

Many would deem it worthy to slay this wurm.

Yeah, no chance we're doing that. Even with a surprise round, alpha strike and Ullin, our warband is way too wimpy to win against a wurm.

That's why we're going to have to pursue different measures...

"Steal her by stealth" will be a medium god wits check. "Let him keep her" obviously means running away. Striking is haram. Waking the beast, if you're keen on wurm diplomacy, leads to this...

Well! Moar options!

To get ourselves bitten will lead to permanent HP loss of 1, but for that price we can either grab the maiden or get DEEP LORE on how to kill the 'first of the wurms' - this is naturally Fraener, the commie rabble rouser we helped as the paranoid incarnation. We have HP to spare.

"Warn him to free the maiden" is a hard god threats check. Even with the bonus from Bearleather this is not going to be at all easy.

"Give him death" is obviously combat, but even more hopeless now without a surprise round.

What shall we do then, MEN? STEAL the womyn like a sly THIEF? Or TRADE our HP for something like the happiest of MERCHANTS? Or try to THREATEN the wurm like a complete MORON who's 99% bound to FAIL this roll?

 

[lightbane]

A bite for the girl. The girl can be "repurposed" later.

 

[Jaedar]

Sacrificing a bit of hp for FORBIDDEN LORE you say? Best deal!

 

[Damned Registrations]

I'm guessing slaying Fraener is another victory route, and probably involves some words/wits checks to talk an army into helping. Would be cool to see that, so I vote we trade our brawn for some snakey brain.

 

[Malakal]

Get intel on winning, maybe its doable with wits which we have...

 

[Trash Player]

Take that alternative win con.

 

[Brancaleone]

Bite 4 gurl.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Spoiler

Engaging in wurm diplomacy to obtain secret information won the vote.

*smacks lips*

fucking poison

this better be worth it

I do not know whether this deed was done well.

You and me both, Gest.

Clearing out the cave has yielded us a pinata of 3 souls. Not a lot, but things are surprisingly tough when you start with 0, so this is extremely welcome.

Also a close-up on Bearleather. Too bad I can't give it to Ullin, because normally it can be gifted to woodsmens, and it would make him even more stupidly powerful. I guess he's counting as wearing Wightweave which is why this is blocked

Then we hunt sum. This should last us for a while.

And check this event we'd spotted earlier since we're in the area.

These birbs must be burnt, for their flesh reeks of some wrong.

Like hell I'm wasting a day on your bullshit, Gest.

8 fud isn't a lot, and of course Gest is unhappy. But hard times create strong men.

After that I intend to go to this castle and spam the tidings button until we get all the directions because we currently have none.

I PRESS THE BUTTON MERELY ONCE AND THIS HAPPENS

WELL GUESS WE'RE MOVING ON

when suddenly

shit.

Perhaps I can blunt this.

We can unwind the curse with the skinbound book, but it'll take 1 day. Meanwhile Gest can do it for free, provided he passes an easy wits check.

What could go wrong, amirite?

Well, only when compiling this update I remembered that we'd run into this event before as Norse Jesus. And there Njal also had an easy check to pass... which he failed.

I would have picked the book if I remembered that.

Will Gest win where Njal failed?

So now Gest is down to 2 morale, and both he and the god are cursed. What a fucking deal.

When the event ends our attention is drawn to some nearby berries, but I'm not gonna bother taking this detour to look at some bush.

I'm pretty pissed because I intended to heal the god with Gest to counteract the poison HP loss, but now that Gest is pissed, he's refusing to cooperate.

I'll spend one of our precious souls to heal the god, because I don't want to risk any sudden stupid random encounter.

What a way to help your fellow man!

I could also lift the god's curse, in two ways at that, but that feels like a waste. Skinbound book needs a day, soulfire needs a soul, and we're strapped for both at the moment. Curse is something of an all-around nuisance that applies minor penalties to everything you do, but we can live with it for now.

Resuming course.

But before we reach the runestone, we spot another event on the other side of the river. Maybe we'll visit that too.

Miss me yet?

Let's see what's over here.

AMBUSH!

TO ARMS!

ehehehehehehe

suckers are killed from offscreen before the fight even begins

Free stuff is always nice.

Kolstad, more like Tel Aviv!

Let us settle the things between thane and volk!

This looks interesting.

- We can side with the thane and browbeat the yokels. This is a medium god threats check, boosted by Bearleather.
- We can also tell the thane to let go of his jewish ways and respect human rights. This will be a medium god wits check.
- Or we can just leave, but I'm sure you'll agree DAS BORING.

WOT DO

 

[Demo.Graph]

We're witty, so wits, republic be damned.

 

[Brancaleone]

Yes, let's be practical, Wits is the god's best weapon.

 

[Damned Registrations]

I vote we beat up the peasants. Rolls boosted by items rarely ever seem to fail, and even if this one does, I'd imagine the worst outcome is we fight some peasants, which should be easy. What is sparing the peasants going to do for us anyways, get souls? I think we need gold more than souls to recruit more badasses to fighter Faener.