Let's Rip Off Something Awful - Dark Omen or No Love For 56K

[Shannow]

Shouldn't it be some sort of contest between the elven archers and the crossbowmen?

Jasede is afraid that his gay crossbowmen will get outperformed by the mighty non-gay elven archers, even though they have tons more exp

qft

Option A of course.

 

[Jasede]

My gay crossbowmen are nearly level 3 and their reload speeds improves dramatically each level up. They already shoot faster than normal skeleton archers, and that's only at level 2. :colbert:

They're also more powerful (on paper) and have an easier time piercing armor. And when the enemies don't have much armor we can just send the flagellants to walk through them. And walk through enemies they do, and once they reach level 2, you should see how broken-powerful they are.

 

[Nael]

Huh huh huh...
You said "Unit Size".
Huh huh huh...

 

[Kingston]

Just shoot the faggots with your mortar/cannon/wizard just before the battle ends. They think they've made it out alive and BOOM.

Also, don't confuse me with Kharn (BN is a crapper nick, sorry BN). I'm the one who made the Dark Omen thread ages ago. Also, remember to kill the endboss Lich king dude with the steam tank for maximum anti-climax.

 

[puppyonastik]

MOAR

 

[Cthulhugoat]

Goddammit, stop it with the SomethingAwful gay word filter. I'm registered here, for fuck's sake!

 

[Shannow]

ILOVEOBLIVION?

 

[Jasede]

Okay, C it is. Sorry for the slow updates. I promise we will finish this until the middle of December if not earlier.

 

[Surgey]

A. I find that though I hate elves, I have a GRUDGING RESPECT FOR THEM

 

[Jasede]

Just chiming in: C done, update is being, uh, written up. Yeah. Also, holy cow, the missions are getting loooooooooooooooong. Which is fun if you mess up at the last attack wave. :{

Edit: next 2 battles done. Another choice coming up, the very last one in the whole game. I mess up a lot in battle #2, you'll see. Still turn a profit, of course. Also, I tried the next few missions out. They're all a royal pain in the ass.

 

[Claw]

Wow, what a fascinating thread. When I read the first post weeks ago, I didn't think much of it, but it was really entertaining. Made me install DO, too. Whether I'll play it is another question. Personally, I'd much rather lead the undead into battle than fight them. But then again the undead sucked the lack time I played Warhammer Fantasy.

Your hate for the infantry is funny. Especially when you used the "Suckswords" for the first time and according to the numbers, they did a better job than those lunies you adore.
Also, I second whoever said you ought to deploy some guards for your artillery. It's not like you need to make a great effort at controlling them, and as a bonus they get to watch the battle for further humiliation. Also, should an enemy unit ever get too close to your artillery, maybe you can fire into the resulting melee, killing friend and foe alike.

 

[Jasede]

That's sadistic, Claw. I like it!

Also, we will soon get a unit that is so badass that it puts the cavalry to shame. How awesome is that new unit? This awesome:

Spoiler

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/1831 ... 323cl0.jpg

Edit: Claw, you can play the undead in multiplayer.

 

[Sovard]

Also, we will soon get a unit that is so badass that it puts the cavalry to shame. How awesome is that new unit? This awesome:

Spoiler

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/1831 ... 323cl0.jpg

Spoiler

omfg /creampants

I had this faint hope that err... those guys :wink: were in there. I never got far enough to see them, though.

 

[Brother None]

Your hate for the infantry is funny. Especially when you used the "Suckswords" for the first time and according to the numbers, they did a better job than those lunies you adore.

The practice in battle is different, I find from playing the game. The flagellants and ogres (with banner of defiance) are a tough and damaging bunch, while the infantry, longswords or no, are basically a bunch of slow sucky guys that do little more than draw your attention away from the real battle. I've tried deploying them in tough battles and usually end up with less losses and costs without them. Heck, I even prefer the flagellants and ogres to the cavalry, mostly because of the insane cost of fully armoured cavalry.

The fact that the longswords happened to run into an easier bunch of enemies for that battle doesn't mean much.

Also, I second whoever said you ought to deploy some guards for your artillery. It's not like you need to make a great effort at controlling them, and as a bonus they get to watch the battle for further humiliation. Also, should an enemy unit ever get too close to your artillery, maybe you can fire into the resulting melee, killing friend and foe alike.

I've used these kind of harsh tactics quite a lot. Those bandits you can help in that optional quest against the orc camp? I gave them the banner of defiance and sent them to a suicide mission to take care of the ballista. They lasted so long before being completely wiped out that my real guys (ogres, flaggelants, cavalry) could mop up and then the cavalry could circle around, execute the shaman, ride back and have the three groups backed by artillery waiting for the remaining orcs.

 

[Jasede]

Claw and None, you should enjoy the next battle then. Poor elves. Teehee.

Also, you will see me being more and more reluctant to use the Grudgebringer cavalry at all, now that they have level 3. It would be a waste of gold and experience, in my opinion, so we will not profit from their power that much until the last battle. (Which is not as far away as you might think!)

 

[Marsal]

Also, we will soon get a unit that is so badass that it puts the cavalry to shame. How awesome is that new unit? This awesome:

Spoiler

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/1831 ... 323cl0.jpg

Spoiler

As it was foretold on Sun Oct 21, 2007 7:18 am in this thread:
[I don't want to ruin it for you if you didn't finish Dark Omen before, but seeing how you like crossbowmen and cavalry, 3 or 4 missions from the end, you'll get a special treat ]

In multiplayer the Undead rape everything! Those Black Grail Knights are unstoppable and a Vampire is a good spellcaster AND a very powerful combatant (he can hunt down those pesky wizards and kill them quickly). Add the fear factor to this and the other armies don't stand a chance.

The Orcs are cheap and you can have lots of units and the shaman is cool (that foot stomp is nifty), but they crumble and run in fear against the Black Grail Knights.

Humans have nice units, but they are prone to cowardly panicking in the wrong moment (Grail Knights are the exception, but they are not as good as their darker cousins). I liked the elven archers, they could do a lot of damage, but when fighting against something fast (cavalry) they get stomped pretty quickly.

Maybe we were tactically challenged, but when I played against my friends, no one could win against Undead, except if he was commanding an undead army too.

 

[Brother None]

Just chiming in: C done, update is being, uh, written up.

Oh really, is it now?

 

[Jasede]

Trying to think of a gimmick. I think I won't have one, the mission is entertaining enough.

 

[Jasede]

Chapter 14 - Trivialities

My esteemed readers pretty much tied between A and C so I decided to do that which would give us the most battles possible: option C. That is, we say we help the elves, get them killed in their first mission, and then continue the game on the B path. Why is this a good thing to do? Experience and gold mostly. Now, for gold we have precious little use at this stage of the game, and that is not considering the fact we are drowning in it already. However, experience points will greatly enhance the performance of our army as a whole.

So it is settled: we tell Elrod we wish to help him. On the road to King's Glade, however...

[Elrod, elf.] Commander, there is a silent evil in the night. I can feel it in my spirit.
[Klaus] Look up ahead! It's a legion of living dead closing in on our position.
:evil: [Commander Bernhardt] We will part cold flesh with cold steel. Prepare to engage!

Battle 21 - Sacrifice

Elrod and his men will assist us this battle. Do not trouble yourselves with getting used to this regiment.

Our objectives this mission:
* Destroy or chase off all undead
* Terminate Elrod's unit entirely
* Do not lose any men that are not temporary.

Temporary units are the Grail Knights and Elrod's men.

As usual I deploy very few units since I feel more in control then. The map of this battle is very small and I could not use my mages to great effect, so they stay at home. Note how our troops are atop of a ramp of sorts, having the benefits of altitude on their sight. Also note how the mortar is invisible to the enemy since it is hidden behind trees, yet we can still fire it as long as we have an unit to spot enemies for them.

This is the initial configuration of undead we have to face. Note the catapult. If we do so much as leave our deployment zone we will be in range of it.

Take note of how the Grudgebringers are to the very bottom. Since they have hit maximum level I do not plan to use them for anything but sounding the Horn of Urgok each turn. Why? Because even though most undead are immune to fear, zombies, necromancers and ghouls are, in fact, not. Better still, if you manage to make zombies flee they automatically die completely.

The battle begins. The necromancer sproadically uses his spells against the monolith, a sacred stone to the elves. Apparently you lose the mission if it gets destroyed. I never managed to do this, though, so you can safely ignore this false urge of having to hurry.

Since our mortar and cannon are on higher ground they also have higher range. In practice this means we can destroy the visible skull screamer catapult very safely.

The catapult destroyed, we target the necromancer to disrupt his ritual. He amazingly enough survives a direct mortar shell to the head.

Our cannon hits a regiment of zombies, causing them to flee. Remember, zombies die completely once they flee!

At last the undead forces decide to attack us. A chariot suddenly appears from north-east of our position to aid them!

Much to my surprise a single hit by the cannon along with an use of the Banner of Wrath is enough to dispatch it! This will make the battle a whole lot easier.

Wraiths approach. Remember, they may only be hit with magical weapons. Thing is, the elves don't know that. :twisted:

Zombie hordes approach while the elves get slaughtered. I mean, while the elves tactically delay the enemy's approach.

The feisty necromancer receives a cannonball into the face and stops moving for good. Meanwhile we use the Horn of Urgok to make tons of zombies flee (and thus be destroyed). Zombies not pictured.

The elves fight valiantly against the wraiths, but they are summarily slaughtered one by one since their weapons are unable to harm the enemy. They fall quietly, the elves...

It had to be done. With the elves dead, we must be more tactical in order to minimize our losses. First, we send the our Grail Knights (a cavalry unit more powerful than the Grudgebringers, but sadly only temporary) due north to see if there's any undead in hiding. And indeed, turns out they had another catapult! Also, another chariot and more archers.

Both are dealt with relatively easily. The flagellants have little trouble fighting the chariot, even though the ogres were less brave. They fled the battle as soon as the chariot charged in! Meanwhile, the mortar fires at the undead archers that try to harm it, but fail. Being in cover pays off! Thank you, trees.

Our Grail Knights spot more zombies. We order them to return to the deployment zone so we have more time to deal with them.

Meanwhile, the mortar rapes the shit out of those undead archers.

I am going to do something very stupid. Can you guess what?

Yep! I sound the Horn of Urgok, destroying both those zombie-units at once. Why was this stupid? Well, had we killed them traditionally, it would have been free XP, and XP is better than gold. Ah well. Those were the last enemies.

Elrod's dead. We will never find our way through the Loren forest. It's pointless to go on.
:evil: You are right. Let's turn back!

That's it this update. We made lots of gold this battle, but could have done better by farming more XP. However, we did not lose a single unit that was not temporary so I suppose it was at least worth the time because I could show off.

 

[thras]

Those poor Tolkienesque trademark-infringing pointy-ear'd buggers. I am sure that Elrod and the other elves from Loren are in a better, less fantasy-cliche place. With 47 virgins. Who will no doubt stay that way for a long time...

Do we get to see Frogo and Balbo the hobbarts later on too?

 

[Shannow]

I didn't really understand your use of the horn from the beginning on, but what the heck...
Wasn't the horn also able to rally troops? Might have helped those cowardly ogres.
Also, what level is the mortar now?

 

[Jasede]

It does rally troops, but I forgot that in the heat of battle. (Yes. Forgot. If you think that was dumb, wait until the next battle where forget to place some important troops on the battle field.)
The mortar is now level 2, which means it is at maximum accuracy. The cannon is soon to follow. The ogres, flagellants and Ragnar's men are all about to level.

We are in good shape.

 

[puppyonastik]

So the mortar turned out to be pretty nifty after all. :D I see by the blue specks that the elves were wielding a magic item or am I wrong, if so, did they drop it?

 

[Jasede]

The elves carried the banner of defiance to prevent them from fleeing.

 

[Claw]

Because even though most undead are immune to fear, zombies, necromancers and ghouls are, in fact, not. Better still, if you manage to make zombies flee they automatically die completely.

Fucking bullshit! Zombies are supposed to be immune to fear.

Of course, I just replayed the first battle agains the undead and had a zombie regiment flee, rally and then kill two of my Grudgebringer cavalry (max armor) with the remaining 2-3 zombies. That's a fucking joke.